Going solo

[ramirezs316]

I usually go out with my brother on weekends. We’re twins and we look similar, so it’s a great opening when talking to girls. For awhile, he was totally game in being a wingman. He’s a very picky guy (to the point of being harsh and judgmental), and he’s been cynical ever since he had a bad breakup last year. The last couple of times we’ve gone out, I’ve been really eager to talk to people (and get my mind off a girl I was into, see https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?t=537), but he’s been a drag on me, judging the girls I might be interested in (even just to talk to) and using me just as a designated driver so he can get drunk ( I don’t drink). I realize now that none of the times that I’ve opened well with a girl did I have his help, so I’ve decided to change my routine.

So, what are everyone’s opinions on going solo? I know that the approaches will be the same, but what kind of routine or direction do you give yourselves when entering a bar, just to shed that initial awkwardness? I don’t think I’ve read anything from Chase on this subject.

 

[Light]

Here you go buddy:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-pick-girls-bars-and-clubs

https://www.girlschase.com/content/social-circle-vs-cold-approach

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-ask-girl-out-and-always-get-yes

 

[Scofield]

I go out alone like 90% of the time. Just practice your state control, be confident and go out enough to get used to it.

 

[Chase]

Hey Ramirez,

Solo's fantastic. Ricardus did a couple of articles on it:

Tactics Tuesdays: Going Out Alone to Meet Women

Going Stag: Your Guide to Going Out By Yourself

You'll find solo hardest at first, but it gets progressively easier as you grow more comfortable with it. The greatest drawback, if you can call it that, is not having a group of people / friends to fall back on when you need an emotional boost. However, this just serves as impetus for you to get meeting and connecting people from the opening bell so that you have new friends to fall back on when needed. Solo forces you to approach, or sit alone.

My first 6 months of hardcore learning pickup were solo... lots of ups and downs emotionally the first 3 months or so until I got pretty comfortable with it. I got a wingman when I moved to Washington, D.C. for a while, but after a time I ended up reverting to solo there too, since my wing preferred the bar scene but I preferred clubs, and I found I could move faster and do better and pick up a lot more when alone.

Best recommendation for learning, if you ask me, is mix a lot of going out solo with some going out with people who are better / more talented at pickup than you and observing what they do. You'll learn faster and pick up new things by seeing and being around people better than you, but you'll push yourself to perform, excel, and implement the hardest when you're out alone.

Going out alone is probably the best thing you can do for turning yourself into a guy who really knows what he's doing with girls.

Chase

 

[ramirezs316]

Thanks. Great advice. If I'm able to try it this weekend, I'll report back.