Got caught age lying, lost her

[Skjöldr]

Hey guys
So i met this girl through her sister. I was riding my bike when i saw her sister and approached. We had a very good conversation. Let's call her Maria. Maria then told me that she had a boyfriend and had just become pregnant, but that she had a sister that was younger than herself and single. Let's call this girl Sophie. We have a really good conversation and Maria sells Sophie really well, saying she had a better body and inherited the best genes of the two XD and she shows me pictures of her and messages her on facebook telling her to accept my friend request. Fast forward i go on a date with this Sophie girl. She's pretty hot. Long fair hair and a nice body. 8/10 i would say. I invited her straight to my place for dinner and then she suggested after dinner we go for a walk. So we do. We walk around, we kiss, i spank her ass one time teasingly and she held my arm on the way back. I kiss her goodbye and she rides off on her bike. I walk inside.

We schedule new date for Friday. Our date was Tuesday. This girl was 26 and i had told her sister that i was 24 on my approach. I did it to circumvent social conditioning regarding age, because in reality i'm 20. Anyways Thursday she messages me "I don't think your dad knows how old you are " So i check his profile out and it says in his profile i am 19 years old. I message back "You're right, i'm 20, not 19 ". Then she goes on about how i lied to her and stuff and she doesn't trust me and sends me a screenshot of her conversation with her friend. Get this. Her girl friend had been stalking my family members through on facebook and had seen on my dad's and Sister's profile old birthday posts and calculated it to me being 20, instead of 24. Ain't that fucked up? It was her friend who had done the digging on me, so fucking weird right?

Creepy stuff, but i don't really care if i'm honest, and i also didn't apologize to her. I simply told her my reason for lying about my age, that is, to circumvent judgements regarding younger age so that we could simply get to know eachother with an open mind and without barriers. She stuck to her view of me as having lied to her and all. Eventually i got tired of trying to convince her. It felt like she was just stroking her ego, like, wanting me to suck up to her and beg her to take me back. I would have none of it. Threw the ball in her court.
Said to her "What happened, happened. I understand why it bothers you, though that wasn't my intention. I want to give it another shot. It was nice to meet you Sophie. If you wanna meet again, you know where to find me."

What are your thoughts on this? Should you lie about your age to circumvent social conditioning and girls' fear of reputation issues by dating a younger/older guy? The girl told me she didn't care that i was younger, but that it's a deal breaker that i lied to her. That's easy to say now. I feel like i will lose more dates by saying my real age with these girls, than i will gain. I don't bring it up myself, but if an older girl asks how old i am, it obviously means it's important to her, so no points gained by saying the truth here.

 

[Rakkum]

My two cents.

Girls will ask you a lot of questions. It doesn't mean all the things are necessarily deal breakers. What matters more than your age is your frame. What you communicated by hiding is that you are potentially insecure about your age. I would guess that's the biggest dealbreaker for her, not the actual lying, nor your actual age.

EDIT: I've slept with girls 10+ years younger and older than me. Don't recall it really being an issue, maybe a few light shit-tests here and there.

 

[Skjöldr]

My two cents.

Girls will ask you a lot of questions. It doesn't mean all the things are necessarily deal breakers. What matters more than your age is your frame. What you communicated by hiding is that you are potentially insecure about your age. I would guess that's the biggest dealbreaker for her, not the actual lying, nor your actual age.

This is a good point. Lying doesn't turn women off, weakness does. I would argue i kept frame. I never apologized, i simply explained to her that yes i told her the wrong age and why i did it. After the episode i realized i had done everything Castillo says here https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-you-do-if-youre-caught-lying

Maybe i should have been more outcome independent, indifferent and aloof with her. I explained myself myself more than once and it maybe came off as me trying to convince her too hard.

 

[Tony D]

For women, dating younger men is seen as low social value behaviour. It's how dating older women is seen as low value for men. However, men care a lot less about what people think about them, as long as they're getting laid. Women care a lot more about these things.

My advice... don't be in such a rush to grow up. Plenty of time to bang thirty year olds when you're forty.

 

[Chase]

@Peterdk234,

Response needed to be, "Ah, shucks, I'm sorry about that. You know, the problem is the girls my age are super immature. I just can't even deal with them. But any time I hit it off with a girl older than age 21 and I tell her my age, she thinks, 'Oh. And here I thought he was so mature. I guess I must pass.' I swear, age is the ONLY thing I lie on. And only because women have pulled me to this awful extreme. Can you forgive me?"

In fact, I don't know exactly what you said to her, but if I was you I'd call her up and tell her that.

And then I'd call up her sister and tell her the exact same thing.

Here's the deal with the sister: she intro'd you to her sister, so she feels super responsible for you.

If she pitched her sister a dud or a loser, she is going to feel extra bad about that. So she is vetting you especially hard to look for any sign she set her sister up with a bad deal.

You need to be dealing with both sisters to try to resolve this.

And the frame needs to be that you find women in your age group immature, that you never lie about anything, and that you have only lied about this one thing after repeated frustration meeting women you actually click with, who universally do this reaction.

Simply the maturity of a response like this might be enough to shift their thinking on you.

If they're still being tough, I might tell them, "Tell you what. How about a double date with the four of us -- you, sister, sister's fiancé, and me -- and you guys can vet me as hard as you want, try to catch me lying on anything else, figure out what my actual real level of development is, then pass your final judgment. We had a great connection, I really like both you guys, I can tell you both like me, I think girl's name is the sweetest girl I've met in a long time, I'd feel really, really horrible if this thing blew up because of this. Let's give it one more shot. If I'm as horrible as you now think you can jet after. Deal?"

Just get them out with you again.

If you can get one or both of them out with you again, you win.

Because they will be breaking their own rules on "no young guys" or "no lying guys" to do it.

Also, I wouldn't have your Dad remove that while these girls are still in play.

But once/if they're definitely not in play anymore, I'd get him to set that to private, and ask him not to mess up my mojo with public Facebook posts with my age in them please

Chase

 

[Skjöldr]

@Peterdk234,

Response needed to be, "Ah, shucks, I'm sorry about that. You know, the problem is the girls my age are super immature. I just can't even deal with them. But any time I hit it off with a girl older than age 21 and I tell her my age, she thinks, 'Oh. And here I thought he was so mature. I guess I must pass.' I swear, age is the ONLY thing I lie on. And only because women have pulled me to this awful extreme. Can you forgive me?"

In fact, I don't know exactly what you said to her, but if I was you I'd call her up and tell her that.

And then I'd call up her sister and tell her the exact same thing.

Here's the deal with the sister: she intro'd you to her sister, so she feels super responsible for you.

If she pitched her sister a dud or a loser, she is going to feel extra bad about that. So she is vetting you especially hard to look for any sign she set her sister up with a bad deal.

You need to be dealing with both sisters to try to resolve this.

And the frame needs to be that you find women in your age group immature, that you never lie about anything, and that you have only lied about this one thing after repeated frustration meeting women you actually click with, who universally do this reaction.

Simply the maturity of a response like this might be enough to shift their thinking on you.

If they're still being tough, I might tell them, "Tell you what. How about a double date with the four of us -- you, sister, sister's fiancé, and me -- and you guys can vet me as hard as you want, try to catch me lying on anything else, figure out what my actual real level of development is, then pass your final judgment. We had a great connection, I really like both you guys, I can tell you both like me, I think girl's name is the sweetest girl I've met in a long time, I'd feel really, really horrible if this thing blew up because of this. Let's give it one more shot. If I'm as horrible as you now think you can jet after. Deal?"

Just get them out with you again.

If you can get one or both of them out with you again, you win.

Because they will be breaking their own rules on "no young guys" or "no lying guys" to do it.

Also, I wouldn't have your Dad remove that while these girls are still in play.

But once/if they're definitely not in play anymore, I'd get him to set that to private, and ask him not to mess up my mojo with public Facebook posts with my age in them please

Chase

So how would you move from here? Last contact was last night. She haven't replied to my message. Call her up? I dont have sisters contact info i only have this girl on my facebook. She havent unfriended me yet

 

[Skjöldr]

Isn't it needy to try so hard to convince to give me a second chance?

 

[Skjöldr]

For women, dating younger men is seen as low social value behaviour. It's how dating older women is seen as low value for men. However, men care a lot less about what people think about them, as long as they're getting laid. Women care a lot more about these things.

My advice... don't be in such a rush to grow up. Plenty of time to bang thirty year olds when you're forty.

They turn me on nonetheless. Just met a 30 year old tonight. Lied that i was 24. She still thought it was too young. I really wanna bang one of them.

 

[Skills]

I told you about a month ago women usually like guys 5-10 years older, with that being said when i was younger i seduced older women but i did not lie to them about my age, you made a big deal of the age when confronted, you should have been none reactive and pass the shit tests.... I also made numerous posts of avoiding social media unless is a huge dhv

 

[Skjöldr]

I told you about a month ago women usually like guys 5-10 years older, with that being said when i was younger i seduced older women but i did not lie to them about my age, you made a big deal of the age when confronted, you should have been none reactive and pass the shit tests.... I also made numerous posts of avoiding social media unless is a huge dhv

I think what bothered her the most was that i lied to her not the age. I never made a big deal about the age, i just explained why i lied to her. I enjoy older women alright, not that i don't enjoy younger women, i just also wanna get older women. I feel like girls 25-35/40 are basically impossible. They aren't old enough for it to turn them on to be with a younger guy. They just quite aren't there yet. It's like right in the middle. Pretty annoying. I will keep grinding. Work hard on my fundamentals.

I still don't know if i should lie about my age or not though.

 

[Bismarck]

For a girl to go with a much younger guy (5+ years) as Zardoz/Tony D was saying, can be a social frame problem.

The same applies to some younger girls going with 10+ older guys. What I do in this situation is she’ll ask me how old I am, I answer “how old do you think I am?” then she’ll usually say a number a bit lower than my age (the upper bracket of what she won’t have a negative knee-jerk social frame reaction to) and I’ll say “close enough”. At that point she’ll usually drop it.

Bacchus and Teevster used to be ambiguous about their age when they started learning cold approach at 15. I don’t like lying, but there’s no need for you to give her your CV before you smash.

 

[Skjöldr]

For a girl to go with a much younger guy (5+ years) as Zardoz/Tony D was saying, can be a social frame problem.

The same applies to some younger girls going with 10+ older guys. What I do in this situation is she’ll ask me how old I am, I answer “how old do you think I am?” then she’ll usually say a number a bit lower than my age (the upper bracket of what she won’t have a negative knee-jerk social frame reaction to) and I’ll say “close enough”. At that point she’ll usually drop it.

Bacchus and Teevster used to be ambiguous about their age when they started learning cold approach at 15. I don’t like lying, but there’s no need for you to give her your CV before you smash.

What if she insists? Usually i did what Girlschase suggested and asked her how old she thinks i am and then i either go an age below that or an age above that depending on her own age, but then i still give her a straight answer. A lie.

 

[Skills]

I still don't know if i should lie about my age or not though.

is up to you, i personally lie since i am 45... But you need to find out what is your looks age? do you look older?

 

[Skjöldr]

is up to you, i personally lie since i am 45... But you need to find out what is your looks age? do you look older?

I have been told when i ask girls everything between 19-25. I'm 20. So i could pass for older, which is why i say i'm 24 sometimes.

 

[Rakkum]

is up to you, i personally lie since i am 45... But you need to find out what is your looks age? do you look older?

What do you do then when someone you lied to ends up being one of your girlfriends? You just manage to hide it or pull some re-framing kung fu?

 

[Skills]

What do you do then when someone you lied to ends up being one of your girlfriends? You just manage to hide it or pull some re-framing kung fu?

after sex i don't care, i don't really have issues, they probably know i am lying but they are attracted, i say i am 38... also in my social media i change my age, i don't have issues, specially post sex, sometimes they open their mouth when they realized my name for almost a year is not my name lol....

 

[Velasco]

25 is a good age. old enough for old (24-35)+young girls(18-23)

 

[Skills]

I have been told when i ask girls everything between 19-25. I'm 20. So i could pass for older, which is why i say i'm 24 sometimes.

if this is the case at least facebook try to put it private and no show your friends...

 

[Velasco]

add to what Skills said:

people are very understanding of lying for good reasons. I remember telling a guy I worked with from age 19 to 21, "Hey, remember when I said I was 22 when we met...? I was 19. I just turned 21, not 24." He totally understood. He says, "I'd have done the same thing, no one takes a teenager seriously." He was... 35 at the time. People understand. If you're much younger than people at your same level, you might have to lie about your age if it comes up before the other person has gotten a chance to know you. You clear it up a few months later and no one cares, really.

This was a really, really good comment. It gave me a couple ideas that makes me ... | Hacker News

news.ycombinator.com

 

[Skjöldr]

add to what Skills said:

people are very understanding of lying for good reasons. I remember telling a guy I worked with from age 19 to 21, "Hey, remember when I said I was 22 when we met...? I was 19. I just turned 21, not 24." He totally understood. He says, "I'd have done the same thing, no one takes a teenager seriously." He was... 35 at the time. People understand. If you're much younger than people at your same level, you might have to lie about your age if it comes up before the other person has gotten a chance to know you. You clear it up a few months later and no one cares, really.

This was a really, really good comment. It gave me a couple ideas that makes me ... | Hacker News

news.ycombinator.com

"Few months later" unfortunately she found out within a week/after first meet. There was no time to say goodbyeeee