Hard to Get Vs Uninterested

[nichodemus]

So yes, back again, and I have mostly had an average to torrid history with these spawn of Venus, especially their mind games. This isn't the same girl as before, just general questions.

What are the signs that a girl is just playing hard to get, or just plain uninterested?

For instance, this girl I used to chase, she knows I like her a little, and I know she had the thing for me. Yet she always casually mentions other guys who have asked for her number, boasts, and then innocently asks me why those guys would. Or she would just declare to me ''I am hard to get, don't play with fire *insert nickname* " when I tease her. She responds to my flirting, flirts a little, then pulls back and is aloof for a while. She reminds me of dates, then reschedules. Bah. Was she playing hard, or uninterested?

Helpful answers would be appreciated. Need to improve my future game.

 

[Anonymous]

Here's my two cents on the situation,

A girl that's uninterested would take your attempts at flirt and twist them into a "friendlier" sense. A bad example, but the only one I can think of, is asking a girl out on a date and the dialogue would be as follows:

You: Why don't we meet up at the fair at 6:00 next Friday? We'll see if you're as good of a shot with the BB guns as you say

Her: Sure sounds good. I feel like we haven't spent a lot of time as friends together yet, so this will be fun

(Again a bad example, but one that shows how she turns a date idea into friends just "hanging out")

Or one who is uninterested would simply blow you off. In either case I say drop her and move to the next one (her loss).

On the other hand, one that plays hard to get would take your flirts, but be nonchalant and aloof about them, but not necessarily rejecting them.
Lots of variable that go into these two situations, but I hope I cleared some of the fog.

 

[PinotNoir]

For instance, this girl I used to chase, she knows I like her a little, and I know she had the thing for me. Yet she always casually mentions other guys who have asked for her number, boasts, and then innocently asks me why those guys would. Or she would just declare to me ''I am hard to get, don't play with fire *insert nickname* " when I tease her. She responds to my flirting, flirts a little, then pulls back and is aloof for a while. She reminds me of dates, then reschedules. Bah. Was she playing hard, or uninterested?

To me, it sounds like you were just moving too slow.
(1) As illogical as it sounds, in my experience, girls will bring up other guys to make you jealous and make you move faster or as a hint that she likes you and wishes you would be like one of those guys.
(2) Or, she may just be a strong/experienced girl that is testing you (good) or teasing/toying with you (usually bad).

If it's (1), you're in the clear. Stop being dumb and move fast -- one of the best lessons that I've learned from my past and GC (that I still do sometimes stupidly). I've had a good bit of experience with this. If she's a gentler girl, then this is definitely what it is.

If it's (2), then test/tease her back. If she talks about other guys like that, tease back by saying, "Yeah, I know exactly how that feels! Girls give me their numbers, and I don't even know why." If she says that she's hard to get, say, "That's because women aren't objects; you can't 'obtain'/'get' them. That's why you're hard to get -- because no man can own a woman, only share passion together," or, say, "That's before you met me " If she responds back kind of bored or cold, I'd say she wasn't interested and was just teasing/toying with you. Else, if it's testing, she'll like the challenge that you have now presented and continue. I haven't had much experience here though.

How did you meet? Did you actually ask her on a date? Did you actually go on a date? How long did you wait to ask, etc.?

 

[nichodemus]

How did you meet? Did you actually ask her on a date? Did you actually go on a date? How long did you wait to ask, etc.?

Pre College. Yeah I did, we're going out next week, she blocked out a whole day for me, so I guess that's good. About a week to ask I guess?

 

[PinotNoir]

How did you meet? Did you actually ask her on a date? Did you actually go on a date? How long did you wait to ask, etc.?

Pre College. Yeah I did, we're going out next week, she blocked out a whole day for me, so I guess that's good. About a week to ask I guess?

OK, then you're good. I wouldn't worry about it. I think she was just saying that to make you jealous and to not make herself look "easy" (i.e., slut). She may already be "boyfriending" you mentally; something you will have to try and avoid even if you want a relationship.