Having trouble initiating kiss

[Spyce D]

Post in thread 'Man of action' https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/man-of-action.25803/post-171826

This girl


Yesterday , on date , there was lot of touching from my side and some from her side too . I even touched+ holded her chin for few seconds ( I have made mini-routine a few days ago that helped me to touch her chin )

She was receptive of my touching .

It was a playful date that had lot of proximity when we were in a lounge .

There was compliance too , I made her feed a biscuit , she carried my bag ( all happened in playful way )

When we were walking towards the station , she asked me ' if I was single ' and when I told her that I had breakup recently , she said me about my ex .

And after 1 hour of end of date , she texted me on her own if I had reached home .

And we also planned on meeting next week .

I did a lot of things on this date ( that took me 4 dates to do on a previous girl ) .

Anyways , how do I initiate kiss on a date when there has already been lot of touching ?

I feel a bit hesitant and I dont want to ask about it either .

And cuz of our logistics , I couldn't take her to my place or hers .

So , it's better to kiss on date itself then plan for motel ( in next meet ) , thats how it is here with folks with no logistics .

Maybe it's my scarcity mindset , or I am playing it safe .

So , should I just go for it ( light first kiss ) but fuck I can't , feel hesitant .

Need to work on this .

 

[topcat]

Post in thread 'Man of action' https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/man-of-action.25803/post-171826

This girl


Yesterday , on date , there was lot of touching from my side and some from her side too . I even touched+ holded her chin for few seconds ( I have made mini-routine a few days ago that helped me to touch her chin )

She was receptive of my touching .

It was a playful date that had lot of proximity when we were in a lounge .

There was compliance too , I made her feed a biscuit , she carried my bag ( all happened in playful way )

When we were walking towards the station , she asked me ' if I was single ' and when I told her that I had breakup recently , she said me about my ex .

And after 1 hour of end of date , she texted me on her own if I had reached home .

And we also planned on meeting next week .

I did a lot of things on this date ( that took me 4 dates to do on a previous girl ) .

Anyways , how do I initiate kiss on a date when there has already been lot of touching ?

I feel a bit hesitant and I dont want to ask about it either .

And cuz of our logistics , I couldn't take her to my place or hers .

So , it's better to kiss on date itself then plan for motel ( in next meet ) , thats how it is here with folks with no logistics .

Maybe it's my scarcity mindset , or I am playing it safe .

So , should I just go for it ( light first kiss ) but fuck I can't , feel hesitant .

Need to work on this .

Just force yourself to kiss invested girls until you get a feel for the right time..

 

[Spyce D]

Just force yourself to kiss invested girls until you get a feel for the right time..

It seems like from now on , I have to set a hard limit for myself from new dates .

I won't be seeing a girl again if I can't kiss her on first date . ( Given she is invested and is not super conservative ) cuz this mentality of I might kiss her next time is bad for me . As next time never comes

 

[topcat]

I won't be seeing a girl again if I can't kiss her on first date . ( Given she is invested and is not super conservative ) cuz this mentality of I might kiss her next time is bad for me . As next time never comes

Also i can see this sending you in the wrong direction long term…

you should be focused on pulling & having sex with girls rather than kissing them.

right now your going down a path of
kiss -> second date -> then what? (learn to pull and have sex i assume)

what you’re likely to find is that kissing on the date actually makes getting to sex harder (for a beginner) as it adds a level of complexity in order to manage tension properly.

i would suggest instead of focusing on kissing , you focus on pulling. As that will be the quickest and shortest route to sex.

once you have real lays under your belt you can add complexity. right now you should be focused on following/finding and proving out a quick efficient process to sex..

focus on kissing will just send you into the weeds, frustrate you and extend your learning curve unnecessarily.

One place i can see it being beneficial is getting you comfortable with intimacy with a woman (but you can do that at the pull location - it’s good practice to kiss a girl 10 minutes into having her in your home).

 

[Skills]

a simple way to kiss is tell her "look at me", if she complies do triangular glazing...

AKA triangulating Quick Definition: The act of getting into a sexual state by looking from a woman’s eyes down to her lips, in a triangular pattern. Full Definition: Triangular gazing is a way to set the tone for a kiss through subcommunication and body language. By usingtriangular gazing, a PUA can subtly and nonverbally let his target know that he is interested in kissing her. And, if she seems receptive, go in for the kiss.

i have another one: https://www.theskillsmethod.com/how-to-kiss-a-girl-my-shut-the-fuck-up-routine/


here is sample minute 6:40

 

[Spyce D]

have another one: https://www.theskillsmethod.com/how-to-kiss-a-girl-my-shut-the-fuck-up-routine/

This is something I can use that will be more congruent to my vibe .

 

[Spyce D]

Also i can see this sending you in the wrong direction long term…

you should be focused on pulling & having sex with girls rather than kissing them.

right now your going down a path of
kiss -> second date -> then what? (learn to pull and have sex i assume)

what you’re likely to find is that kissing on the date actually makes getting to sex harder (for a beginner) as it adds a level of complexity in order to manage tension properly.

i would suggest instead of focusing on kissing , you focus on pulling. As that will be the quickest and shortest route to sex.

once you have real lays under your belt you can add complexity. right now you should be focused on following/finding and proving out a quick efficient process to sex..

focus on kissing will just send you into the weeds, frustrate you and extend your learning curve unnecessarily.

One place i can see it being beneficial is getting you comfortable with intimacy with a woman (but you can do that at the pull location - it’s good practice to kiss a girl 10 minutes into having her in your home).

Only reason it's my goal for now is due to logistics issues otherwise it wouldn't have been the issue .

I would just taken her to my place and pulled

 

[matheth]

I've had a couple of dates where I would also have a very good vibe from the chick and after some time I would go to hug her (I legit was only thinking about this) and she would kiss me straight away. So go for the hug br0

 

[Spyce D]

I've had a couple of dates where I would also have a very good vibe from the chick and after some time I would go to hug her (I legit was only thinking about this) and she would kiss me straight away. So go for the hug br0

Did that too . But it seems like they expect me to initiate , maybe cuz I come across as bold type cuz I met them via Daygame and the kind of talk I do with them .

 

[gameboy]

Triangle gaze always worked great for me. Stop talking, look at one of her eyes, then the other eye, then her lips, ... slowly move closer... and let it happen. Don't force anything, if you get the sense that she isnt into it just draw back, keep talking like before, and rinse and repeat later.

And don't forget to enjoy

 

[DoWhatWorks]

@Spyce D another thing I've done before that hasn't been mentioned is after triangular gazing just say "I really want to kiss you right now"

She'll blush, nervously laugh & it transitions the vibe to where she's now expecting the kiss.

Even if she's not fully comfortable yet, it still plants the seed & makes it easier later.

Learning to calibrate is best, but this is good stabilizers between now & then.

 

[gameboy]

@Spyce D another thing I've done before that hasn't been mentioned is after triangular gazing just say "I really want to kiss you right now"

She'll blush, nervously laugh & it transitions the vibe to where she's now expecting the kiss.

Even if she's not fully comfortable yet, it still plants the seed & makes it easier later.

Learning to calibrate is best, but this is good stabilizers between now & then.

Brilliant! Should have done that today. I had a situation where a girl was leaving town in less than an hour, so I had no time to pull her home. Should have looked at her and told her "I'd really love to kiss you before you leave"

 

[Skills]

I see some horrible advice, the going for a hugh weak.. I had a girl that used to make fun of a dude that took her on a date used to call him hugy hugy don't go for hugs scream mamas boy...

Do not verbalize kissing for example there is a pus routine from book game asking girl... Do you want to kiss me? If she said no, you said it seems you have that on your mind.... cringe

Do not verbalize kissing at all cause if she rejects verbally you are now in recovery mode negative compliance... If it work for joe blow good is suboptimal..

Whole point of micro escalations is to be rejection proof a girl is no able to verbalize rejection....

 

[Spyce D]

Yeah . I mean I could have asked , I could have verbalises about it but maybe the girls expect me to be bolder cuz I date them via Daygame . And I have become dominant in my touching as well .

And that even gets them asking me " if I am single " " ever done hookups , before " .

I have been thinking about it , and kissing for me is more of a mindset problem rather than not knowing technical stuff .

I have put my finger on her lips , I have talked straight in her ears leading to our faces in contact but I would never kiss .

Leading me into friendzone .

And with every regret , my game upgrades automatically , and currently it's happening
Again .

It's better for me to be rejected on kiss rather than having to deal with regret of never going for the kiss .

And tbf , it's going to be win for girls to be able to kiss me from now .

This is the mentality that's crept in my mind now .

So , I have simply decided to go for it using non verbal cues , or just go for it on invested girls , girls with high proximity .

 

[TomInHo]

Yeah . I mean I could have asked , I could have verbalises about it but maybe the girls expect me to be bolder cuz I date them via Daygame . And I have become dominant in my touching as well .

And that even gets them asking me " if I am single " " ever done hookups , before " .

I have been thinking about it , and kissing for me is more of a mindset problem rather than not knowing technical stuff .

I have put my finger on her lips , I have talked straight in her ears leading to our faces in contact but I would never kiss .

Leading me into friendzone .

And with every regret , my game upgrades automatically , and currently it's happening
Again .

It's better for me to be rejected on kiss rather than having to deal with regret of never going for the kiss .

And tbf , it's going to be win for girls to be able to kiss me from now .

This is the mentality that's crept in my mind now .

So , I have simply decided to go for it using non verbal cues , or just go for it on invested girls , girls with high proximity .

You got this G. Sounds like you know exactly what you need to do

 

[gameboy]

Yeah. Thinking about it, it's probably best not to verbalise. Rather than saying what you wan to do (and thus killing the magic), just do it. Better to lead than to ask for permission.

 

[matheth]

One of the benefits I can think of going for a hug instead of a kiss is plausible deniability, like if the girl moves her head away you can just say you were going for the kiss. Additionally if you already gotten very close to her face to increase the sexual tension considerably she'll be expecting it. Sometimes all it takes is you to get your face cloes to her face and the kissing will almost happen by inertia. Don't know how to explain it better cuz im pretty new to this but thats my take

 

[Skills]

So , I have simply decided to go for it using non verbal cues , or just go for it on invested girls , girls with high proximity .

yes and remember is not one big move, it is a series of micro escalation that will help you gauge if you have it or not, is not just lunging for a kiss, and you can try multiple times, sometimes girl go shy or overwhelmed (this is not bad is actually a good sign if it happens) vs uncomfortable...

Can i kiss you=low odds
do you want to dance=low odds
do you want to fuck = low odds

^ yes if you throw shit against the wall a dump will stick, but we are talking seduction vs throwing shit against a wall and hoping for luck...

make sure you also review periodically this post: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-complete-guide-to-physical-game.27608/ and links and videos and make sure you do the same with understanding micro escaltions they are pretty much VERBAL rejection proof, this will increase your confidence, your confidence will allow you as well with the gauging reactions to have the balls that are unique vs manufacture to go for a kiss cause now you know it will happen vs in your head is it going to happen.... you get confidence with successes and with the girl giving you signs that will make you believe you won't get a rejection....

Wayback Machine

60 yoc

My definition of micro-escalation: Instead of making ONE big verbal or physical move to escalate the seduction, you should use a series of small non-verbal moves. For example, you should focus on holding seductive eye contact, moving closer, talking slower and listening versus worrying about big moves like lunging at her for a kiss. While obviously none of these ideas or moves used by themselves is original, I made a specific point of emphasizing in all of my articles that the main benefit of this strategy was the following: By not saying or doing anything at first besides slowly escalating the vibe it made it almost impossible for a woman to resist you verbally or reject you physically. Thus giving you time to escalate and create attraction before she even knew what you were up to. In other word the concept I had labeled micro-escalation was in a way “rejection proof”. Not only did I say that escalating the vibe was rejection proof I also made it clear that using these micro-escalation increases sexual tension and creates attraction. I also pointed out that micro-escalation was really great news for guys who were afraid to escalate by going for big moves like a kiss because all of these moves were very small, thus under the radar. Another insight from that time period included a concept called “seductive listening” which gave you the option of seducing her with micro-escalations while both talking and listening. 60yearsofchallenge.com icemethod@yahoo

 

[Skills]

One of the benefits I can think of going for a hug instead of a kiss is plausible deniability, like if the girl moves her head away you can just say you were going for the kiss. Additionally if you already gotten very close to her face to increase the sexual tension considerably she'll be expecting it. Sometimes all it takes is you to get your face cloes to her face and the kissing will almost happen by inertia. Don't know how to explain it better cuz im pretty new to this but thats my take

better ways than going for a Hugh come on...

 

[matheth]

Its not just going for a hug bro, you already apply a lot of kino and sex talk before hand. Maybe hugs dont fit within your game which is cool but that doesnt mean they dont ever work for anyone