HELP! Embarrassed myself hard in social circle

[POB]

dude you did not understand what i said, listen if they feel is getting to you (group) they are going to pile on cause they know is getting to you.... Also you edited the part about the transcript (my conclusion was before you edited that you would post transcript) that gave me a feel that you did not want to post transcript to guys here trying to help you, i translated that (you care too much)....

He's got a point here Skills because school and college can be very unforgiving if you don't do some damage control on accusations (remember: tight social circle). I think he does not want to have to rely solely on outside girls to get pussy, which makes total sense if you think he is a student who probably spends most of his weekday's on classes and does not have enough money to go out or pay for dates.

 

[POB]

Man I appreciate this a lot. Your personal experience combined with the actionable tips made this a very inspiring read.

I havent heard many people talk about it today, so its already started fizzling. And apparently I heard from a friend that she wants to apologize to me, so that seems like a good opportunity for me to frame myself well.

Great! If she do apologizes just keep it cool and say you kinda of had fun with the story.
Don't push for anything though....let her chase a bit.

 

[Chase]

@Kaiderman,

‍Damn, My intuition told me this over and over. The problem was that I simply did not know how to do it smoothly while still getting results fast so I figured I must be wrong.

Do you have any details on how exactly to transition from pursued to active smoothly?

The simplest way is to look at what girls do and do that back. Drop some hints ("We should hang out sometime"), set up barriers ("If it wasn't for all these people around we'd practically be dating"), do things that give her the chance to push her chasing further. Before any move you make, if she is chasing you hard, always seed it first and give her the chance to be the one to push for it.

e.g., she is chasing you hard, giving you lots of compliments. So you do this:

Her: blah blah you are so funny OMG how can you be both funny AND handsome?​

​

You: I don't know. You're pretty cool too. We should never ever date, we'd become the "it" couple and people would never leave us alone.​

Then if she doesn't take the bait and ask you out, and she also doesn't push back against it, you just tell her, "Well maybe we should hang out sometime and raise everybody's hair."

You just seed the next step you want her to take, possibly behind some flirtatious ("we should never..." "we can't ever..."), then gauge her reaction. If she seizes on it and pushes for it herself, awesome. She's still chasing, and you can lead her along with little baits like that.

Or if she pushes back hard ("Haha, OMG, we'd never date, we're like best friends!") then you know you might have your read wrong and should back off (unless you really want to try your luck...).

Otherwise, you can then float the idea of actually doing the thing you just said you never should do.

That's one way to do it. There's others... if you ever get One Date I have a lesson in Module 1 where I list out a bunch of ways to do this, most of which I don't have on the top of my head. But for high school you'll probably be fine just using the qualify her --> "we should never" --> then if she doesn't take the bait "well actually we should for X reason" formula.

Chase

 

[Kaida]

Great! If she do apologizes just keep it cool and say you kinda of had fun with the story.
Don't push for anything though....let her chase a bit.

I just walk past her in the hallway now without looking at her. I catch her looking at me every so often.

My read is that she’s probably going to try and talk to me normally like the situation doesnt exist to gauge me. I’m not totally sure how to react to that but I’ll probably just keep it short and neutral with a small smile so they know im not butthurt.

 

[Kaida]

@Kaiderman,



The simplest way is to look at what girls do and do that back. Drop some hints ("We should hang out sometime"), set up barriers ("If it wasn't for all these people around we'd practically be dating"), do things that give her the chance to push her chasing further. Before any move you make, if she is chasing you hard, always seed it first and give her the chance to be the one to push for it.

e.g., she is chasing you hard, giving you lots of compliments. So you do this:

Her: blah blah you are so funny OMG how can you be both funny AND handsome?​

​

You: I don't know. You're pretty cool too. We should never ever date, we'd become the "it" couple and people would never leave us alone.​

Then if she doesn't take the bait and ask you out, and she also doesn't push back against it, you just tell her, "Well maybe we should hang out sometime and raise everybody's hair."

You just seed the next step you want her to take, possibly behind some flirtatious ("we should never..." "we can't ever..."), then gauge her reaction. If she seizes on it and pushes for it herself, awesome. She's still chasing, and you can lead her along with little baits like that.

Or if she pushes back hard ("Haha, OMG, we'd never date, we're like best friends!") then you know you might have your read wrong and should back off (unless you really want to try your luck...).

Otherwise, you can then float the idea of actually doing the thing you just said you never should do.

That's one way to do it. There's others... if you ever get One Date I have a lesson in Module 1 where I list out a bunch of ways to do this, most of which I don't have on the top of my head. But for high school you'll probably be fine just using the qualify her --> "we should never" --> then if she doesn't take the bait "well actually we should for X reason" formula.

Chase

Ah man. If I wasnt in high school I’d likely have bought One Date. Definitely Charisma in a Bottle too because that one is the one I want the most.

It sounds like from what im seeing if she’s chasing you hard, you never take the active position, but simply just seed every action you want her to take (i might be wrong).

Eventually, do you reach a point where you can start making the moves or do you save that for girls who tilt more towards the demure chase profile?

 

[Beck Bass]

Man I appreciate this a lot. Your personal experience combined with the actionable tips made this a very inspiring read.

I havent heard many people talk about it today, so its already started fizzling. And apparently I heard from a friend that she wants to apologize to me, so that seems like a good opportunity for me to frame myself well.

Man, I once brought roses and some cheap chocolate to some Asian girl I barely talked to (tbh I was barely social with anyone other than my close friends back in the day, I was 14 lmao) and confessed that I "loved" her in the front of the whole class, during a little party people were throwing for her at school. To be fair, I thought she was leaving the school and a bunch of other people were too, and I was tired to supressing my feelings, specially towards women, also my two granpas that helped raised me died earlier that year, and my father was working abroad, in Japan, my head was a fucking mess. But long story short, she said it was really sweet and we "should be friends first", then after that I started acting weird, ofc, and she started showing the little card I made her to everyone and people were making a bit of fun of me (most girls actually started showing more interest in me, now that I wasn't that cute assexual nerd I was before, now they knew at least I wanted to bang a girl lol, and tbh it was basically it, I barely knew this girl, she just had a great ass).
Eventually I gave up on her and I was feeling kinda low, but I kinda ignored her and her friends, while still being cool with everybody, and eventually she even started chasing me a bit. I was autorejecting so hard I couldn't take advantage of that, but whatever, the next year I had like 6 girls sitting around me on recess, two of them took a photo of them kissing my cheeks, one on each side, and some other girl was basically dating me on school, though we never kissed (we would just hold hands and she would caress mine, and this was enough for me to get hard lol).

If you stay strong, all this mess could actually be good for you, the attention you get from doing something "stupid" when it comes to girls in those high school, more social circle like situations can help you, even if what you did to get it in the first place was kinda lame. Just act cool and like this is behind you, and eventually you might even be hooking up with this girl or her cool friends, having them chasing you and whatnot.
Girls can be pretty awkward too, many times they themselves don't know how to react to unexpected things socially and are too cruel or whatever, but them they see they are being too harsh and try to compensate, if they can (if they are actually good people, which I think most girls are, deep down, even if the way they act might make you not think so).

Good luck!

 

[miker]

Alright, so I sent a voice message to this girl over instagram. I dont feel like going into detail about what I said, as it looks cringe bc i got bad results from it (if its necessary for the help I’ll share it).
But basically this girl showed me a lot of interest at first, and I wanted to make something happen. I knew it wasnt the best thing I could have done (im a beginner, couldnt think of much else), but I didnt think the slightly cringey vm was a bad idea because:

1. I was heavily aloof for most of our interactions, and she was flirting with me a lot before. This would have been her reward for it.

2. If it hit it wouldve gotten the ball rolling well, generating compliance and almost 100% getting at least a date after.

3. I knew attraction expires soon, and shes already shown interest in me for 2 weeks, so I wanted to make a high risk high reward move as soon as possible. Even if it was just for practice. (It didnt occur to me to avoid risky moves like this in social circle lol)



Well the aftermath was bad.

She left me on read, which I didnt really trip over. Because hey, it was a test. I’ll learn from it.

But then she told ALL of her friends. The entire group of them. This was a group that all into me before. In fact, it was the preselection from her that got her friend group very into me.

It got so bad to the point where the girls were repeating what I said in the vm out loud in a mocking voice and laughing, causing an even bigger crowd to ask what was going on and hear the message.

This whole ordeal was quite hilarious to me (I was laughing so hard when I heard at first) other than the fact that I was a fairly high status guy amongst these girls before this. Now, my reputation has sunk, and now I look low status. If this gets bigger, I might get framed as a low status guy by the whole school. And its not a social circle situation I can just leave either.

Questions:

1. How do I deal with the girls and people making fun of me about it?

2. How do I do damage control, fix my reputation as a sexy man, and get my status back?
@Chase
P.S Please keep in mind that I CANNOT leave the situation, as I normally would, because this is school and I’m not planning on dropping out.

Be confident don’t give two fucks …women respond to confidence …let it go it’s a page in your book now move forward to the next page to our and meet other girls and let it be a lesson to not try let her send u voice notes from now