Help me make sense of this IM conversation

[Marty]

Who can help me make sense of this dialog? I have literally learned nothing from this interaction. Is this just a crazy bitch who contacts men online to make fun of them, or is there more to it than that? I am having difficulty understanding why a woman would initiate contact with me, and pick it up again several times, even explicitly suggesting “let’s meet”, just in order to humiliate me.

The conversation is perfectly normal until the last few days when she suddenly and inexplicably goes off the rails, launching into a gratuitous and unprovoked attack on someone she’s never met.

(4 months ago, on message board)

Marty (41): Hello all, my name is Marty and I have been living here for a year. Although I am not Russian I speak the language, lived many years in Moscow and maintain close ties to Russia. I would be delighted to participate in any social activities for Russian speakers in this city, please let me know what is going on!

(2 months ago)

Poppy (28): Hi! I live near the city and will be pleased to make new acquaintances! If interested write me personally

Marty: Hi Poppy, only just noticed your message, I was traveling in nearby countries. I also will be pleased to make new acquaintances!

Poppy: Were you on holiday? Where exactly? What did you like best? I’ve been to that country too, I loved the beauty! The churches are lovely. I especially like Gothic buildings

Marty: Yes on holiday, it is easy to get there by train. I also thought the architecture wonderful. How long have you been living in this country?

Poppy: Do you speak the local language? Where are you from? Where do you work here?

Marty: Haha yes a little but not as good as Russian. I am from (my home country). I work in (my field). We should drink coffee sometime

Poppy: Yes it will be possible to somehow drink a little cup of coffee somewhere I have been here 4.5 years and you? How did you end up here?

Marty: So you are an expert by comparison, I’ve been here only a year Excellent, I am somewhat without energy this weekend, what about next? You said you live in the suburbs, what direction are you coming from?

(One month later)

Poppy: Hi! Sorry that I did not answer for a long time, I went away. Let’s meet Can you do this weekend? I can come on Sunday

Marty: Poppy hi, nice to hear from you. I was at the doctor this morning, he sent me straight to hospital, I am not sure that they will discharge me by Sunday. Some strange patches appeared in my vision. I will let you know, but do not keep the day free on my account. By the way my number is +00-0-0000-0000, you can send an SMS. Marty

Poppy: Ok get better! good health! hope you will get better soon!

Marty: Thank you, I am better now! Hopefully they will discharge me today. Sorry for the inconvenience. Let’s reschedule… how does next weekend work for you?

Poppy: I don’t know whether I can do it next weekend, still don’t know anything. Do you want to go to the movie theater during the week? With the girls we plan to go and can bring you along?

Marty: Yes I do… when and to what are you going?

Poppy: we have not yet decided what day but this week we want to see the premier of Girls’ Night Out with Scarlett Johansson which is playing Wednesday

Marty: Sounds awful ;-) ok, when you decide, let me know what time! Are we meeting at the venue?

(1 week later)

Marty: In any case I would prefer to meet with you one-to-one in a peaceful atmosphere.

Poppy: Sorry I didn’t succeed to manage a meeting with my girlfriends the last week one was busy with moving house and another one couldn't leave her small child alone at home so i went to the cinema together with my husband it was a nice movie What do you mean one-to-one?

Marty: Sorry, had no idea you were married. Hope you enjoyed the movie.

Poppy: You didn't ask yes the movie was nice. Why are you looking for Russian-speaking friends? What is the reason for it? I am just curious

Marty: I have only one social circle here at the moment, local guys, they are very good friends but I would like to have a second one. I always had very good Russian friends in other places I lived before. For example in the city I lived in the USA I had a circle of Russian friends. Usually they all know each other and stick together.

Poppy: I don’t know, Russians here don’t stick together, on the contrary they avoid each other as much as they can Russians who have been living here for 10 years or more told me that

Marty: I think I might go to the Orthodox Church, I’m just lazy to get up for 10:00 on a Sunday!

Poppy: My impression of the Orthodox Church in our city is that it leaves something to be desired There are various people there from 40 to 50 years old with children and if a new person appears they start looking around and whispering, that’s my impression

Marty: Okay, now I am even more curious, I will try to go there and we will see how I am received!

Poppy: Yes that’s right go to church You can meet some grandmother there of 50+ who will suit you just right from an age perspective Only grandmothers go there with their grandchildren but as I understand it you are more interested in girls of 16+ but you won't find girls of 16+ there, you’ll have to look elsewhere I’m afraid… your behavior told me everything

Marty: Behavior? We have not even met. You got in touch with me, I asked you to tea, you said you were married, I apologized for the misunderstanding. Something wrong with that?


Poppy: Relax! Your hand will relax and stop shaking, the butt of the pistol will stop swaying from side to side and you will find it easier to aim in order to shoot dead all the offenders! I assume you were offended about the old women. You don’t want to meet old ladies? That’s a mistake! Old ladies are hot stuff! All right, don’t pout, you naughty boy

 

[Richard]

I think it was the one-on-one push that you made because, up until that point, the conversation could be seen as fairly platonic and harmless. Basically, in her mind she's like "Cool, there's some new guy here that wants to meet up and make some new friends/acquaintances" and then she reads that one-on-one push and she's like "Oh, those kind of friends/acquaintances" or something along those lines.

Notice how she didn't mention her husband at all until directly after the one-on-one text and then after that she tried to grill you with a few questions "Why are you looking for Russian-speaking friends? What's the reason for it?" By that point, she'd probably sized you up or just made an assumption about you and then the nail in the coffin was your reply with "Behavior?..." because that could be read as you being angry or disappointed.

I don't think she's crazy or that she's a bitch - I think she may have misunderstood some things, possibly made some assumptions about you and what you were looking for, etc. I'm 100% guessing on this next point but I'm wondering if there's any cultural/social norms that she had to think about while messaging you, my assumption is Russian social dynamics have some differences with American ones, you know?

That's my 2 cents.

-Richard

 

[Marty]

Mm. Thanks Richard, that makes sense.

I guess what I still find odd is why would she as a married woman take up contact with me in the first place, and then after I attempted to drop everything when I found out she was married, why did she proactively pick the conversation back up?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Marty, U ALIVE