FR Helping girls take a picture...

[snow]

OK So tonight I went out with a couple of my friends, one was a bit of a gamer - talking to all the girls, pulling all the pickup moves etc and the other probably the opposite. So we were sitting at a table, between interactions, having a beer and debrief and I spotted a group of 3 girls sitting at the table just to the left us. We were talking for a while about them and I noticed they were trying to take a picture of themselves with their phone. Immediately (without thinking) I went over, asked the girls "would you like me to take a picture of you" and proceeded to take a few pictures of the group of them.

I thought I did well! I was only aiming for an approach (I'm new!) and I talked to one of them for a bit.

I got back to my table with my friends expecting hi5's! I'd made an approach … on my own! Big deal for me!

My friends were totally dismissive. My 'gamer' friend said this to me "NEVER EVER, EVER EVER, TAKE A GIRLS PHOTO' his reasoning was that it was being to needy. He said I should have gone up and asked them about their photo taking and gone from there. My other non-gamer friend who never talks to random girls also totally cut me to down saying that I was trying to hard etc.

My ego wasn't wounded that bad because I was still high off my first approach! Made a few more that night - nothing too exciting but better than normal!

OK so ... question time!

You see a group of girls at a table trying to take a picture of themselves in that weird backward camera way (and totally failing) - what's the approach?

 

[Franco]

Re: Helping girls take a picture...

Snow,

This is a Field Report and should be labeled as such. Please read the rules and regulations for posting on this forum here.

Thanks,

Franco

 

[Laowai]

Snow, you did fine. You went up and you opened a group of strangers and they accepted you because you were being genuine. That's what opening is all about.

Whereas some people (like your friends) might interpret it as you being "needy" you were only being friendly and helpful. Obviously, the danger is if you communicate that you actually want something from the girls instead of just offering value freely. That's when it gets needy and you come across as creepy.

I also love that the non-gamer guy who never approaches was quick to shoot you down for approaching, lols.

Project the same friendly vibe when you open sets in the future, and work on your transitions better; how do they know each other / what are they out celebrating, etc.

 

[snow]

Awesome, thanks for the advice. You're comment about giving value definitely hit me - I think it's easy to get caught up in the whole 'YAY I'M TALKING TO GIRLS' thing and forget that I'm just approaching a group of people to help them out (and then maybe get to know them if they're friendly).