Hitting the Plateau

[Franco]

Marty,

Estate pretty much gave a good example of what I was referring to, so I would re-read his above post again if you haven't already.

As far this:

While I may have misunderstood, the implication seems to be that those recommendations are not directed purely at forming long-term relationships, but are to be put into practice prior to any intimacy with a girl.

That actually is exactly the implication I am making. Your first goal with a girl should always be sex first because it cements the very small connection you already have and makes it a much larger one. From there, you CAN build a long-term relationship.

The cognitive dissonance you are having here is that you're assuming your pre-intercourse conversation with her is what is setting up the long-term potential -- this is false. While a girl can still see "boyfriend qualities" in you before becoming intimate with you (although it's recommended you not put them on display), she just wants to know that she shares some kind of emotional connection with you before she proceeds toward a physical one. Once you've become physical, that emotional connection increases ten-fold, and then she starts truly evaluating you as a long-term partner.

- Franco

 

[Anonymous]

Having sex with a woman multiple times will create emotional attachment, so it can be a way of using physical connection to create or amplify an existing emotional connection.

I don't believe that it is the only way, if you are looking for a long term relationship. This is more of the long game, where you slowly, even methodically seduce her. However, this is a lot more advanced and nuanced than being direct, physical and pushing for sex really fast. Not to say that pulling women fast is easy, but using a traditional, temporally longer seduction process is a lot of work, and a lot of calculation going on. And there are always going to be men in her life vying for her affection. During that time, you could easily lose her because you were moving too slow.

 

[Marty]

Franco:

The cognitive dissonance you are having here is that you're assuming your pre-intercourse conversation with her is what is setting up the long-term potential

Actually no.

Just to close the loop, YES I am having cognitive dissonance, but it is to do with this:

she just wants to know that she shares some kind of emotional connection with you before she proceeds toward a physical one.

I can't see why she'd bother with this, at that early point, if all she requires in the first place is the physical indulgence.

-Marty

 

[Franco]

Marty,

Estate already cleared that up for you:

women will just want to "feel" like it wasn't just a slutty hookup.

This is MOST of the time anyway. More experienced women will sometimes just want to make sure you aren't a complete asshole and they'll move things more quickly.

- Franco

 

[Drck]

Great conversations. What I don’t understand though is, once you hit a plateau - why can’t you just take some time off?

Seducing girls over and over becomes just a mechanical skill; You know what to do and when, there is no element of surprise. It is actually quite boring. Seduction becomes boring…

In my opinion it is natural to get tired. I don’t understand the advice to start hitting more girls when you hit plateau. If you are exercising and you get tired of exercising, you don’t exercise more - you simply take some time off to replenish yourself. If you are working hard and you get exhausted, you don’t work harder – you take time off and go for a vacation…

“Love” is overrated. Love is just an emotion, you fall in love with a girl and it fades away in couple of weeks or months because you emotions can’t remain constantly high. If you are always around her she will just become casual...

Love is a high emotional state, and no one can remain high on emotions for long periods of time, it is not natural. There is always a withdrawal from those high emotions and excitement - if it is quick (e.g. she dumps you) you will fall in depression fast. If it is slow fading off you may not feel it in such intensity, but you will simply lose interest, feel “down”. So naturally you will want to replenish your down feelings, and you will become chasing those high emotions again…

Love is actually quite addictive, it is like drug – once you are hooked on drugs you always want to get high and remain high, and the more miserable you feel the higher emotions you want to experience…

So what is the obsession with constant and persistent effort to chase girls, to get girls, to be with girls? Take couple of weeks/months off, focus on something else, go to fitness, travel, read books… 2 cents

Agree with Franco about Hershey’s, great analogy