Long story short... I pulled this amazing girl. Had her coming put of her she'll and met up with her for a day. Had an amazing time she was holding back feelings and it was obvious. She was overwhelmed and disappeared for a day or 2 but came back stronger than ever... mind you, this girl is very hard to get to open up...extremely shy and highly intelligent from what I can read. I had her right there at the finish line, then I sent flowers. She gets them at her job anonomously and spent all day trying to figure out who sent them. So I allude that I did .... and she completely goes cold.....BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. She keeps responding to me but she's playing her cards close to her chest now. It went to a complete 180 and I have no way how to initiate conversation anymore, we talk on Facebook and she ignores me for the most part, but if I post relationship stuff she comes out of hiding. It is the wildest mixed signal I've ever gotten in my 29 years of existence. I NEED HELP OR ADVICE ASAP... I went ahead and admitted that I was really into her after about 2 weeks of these weird games. But honestly the more I'm talking the bigger the hole is getting cause I'm just coming off extremely strange now... I've literally asked her the weirdest shit just to get a convo going and it's making me look ridiculous. She does still respond but she doesn't like that I read her feelings, so how do I get her back in that zone where she's into me how she was before. I know she's not with someone else and I think she was burned in her last relationship. She's 5 years older than me and she's taking me for a spin really... I've never been victimized with any mind games like this. Feedback would be greatly appreciated cause we have similar hobbies and match up quite well. She has been stalking me for a year and asked questions on the first date to test me, so she could see if I was gonna change my stories up. And she immediately tried to make me jealous to see how I'd react once things got more comfortable on the date. So her attraction was there and it grew immensely after the date. How did I end up where I am?
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
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- 1,532
You are acting needy and thats unattractive.
You are also chasing her.
Did you admit you were into her before she admitted she was into you? You should aim to get the girl to try to say that to you first.
Stop being needy, and stop chasing. Take a break from her. Go out and meet some other girls.
You are also chasing her.
Did you admit you were into her before she admitted she was into you? You should aim to get the girl to try to say that to you first.
Stop being needy, and stop chasing. Take a break from her. Go out and meet some other girls.
I read her vibe first and followed it, so I did kind of boil things over
I've been ignoring her and talking to other people but I'm gonna be pissed if I wasted all of that time
What would you say are the chances of working it back into my favor?
Would a women's temptation really go cold that quick and forever?
I've been ignoring her and talking to other people but I'm gonna be pissed if I wasted all of that time
What would you say are the chances of working it back into my favor?
Would a women's temptation really go cold that quick and forever?
You have no control over time and money you have already spent. Disappointment in how you spent it is called paying for an education.
You can't do anything about her feelings or emotions. So quit trying to read them. She either comes into your Script or you don't have time for her. No point in wondering what she wants when she doesn't know herself...
You can't do anything about her feelings or emotions. So quit trying to read them. She either comes into your Script or you don't have time for her. No point in wondering what she wants when she doesn't know herself...
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- Aug 25, 2014
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- 1,149
She was initially stalking you, and I suspect also chasing you. You should have kept it that way. Sending flowers only works in Walt Disney movies. Strong, dominant guys don't do that. Later on it was you chasing, and you killed your frame even more.
When you say "I had her at the finish line" I assume you mean you took her to bed. After that, instead of sending her flowers, let her come back to you. If she's into you, she will! You keep the frame in which she is chasing you. You make yourself scarce. She is in demand. Give her 80% of the time. Remember with women, less is more!
Not sure how to get her back now, but for sure the last thing to do is to chase her again and again. It is probably better now to take a step back, and stop contacting her for a while. If she comes back to you, game on, as above, you make her chase. If she doesn't come back, send her a ping text after 3 months to test the mood.
Better to prevent than to cure.
Cheers,
Seppuku
When you say "I had her at the finish line" I assume you mean you took her to bed. After that, instead of sending her flowers, let her come back to you. If she's into you, she will! You keep the frame in which she is chasing you. You make yourself scarce. She is in demand. Give her 80% of the time. Remember with women, less is more!
Not sure how to get her back now, but for sure the last thing to do is to chase her again and again. It is probably better now to take a step back, and stop contacting her for a while. If she comes back to you, game on, as above, you make her chase. If she doesn't come back, send her a ping text after 3 months to test the mood.
Better to prevent than to cure.
Cheers,
Seppuku
Thank you for your answer seppuku
I'm not sure if consistency ruins things for me or makes me more mysterious either
In the case that I kept switching it up throughout so she couldn't read me (for better or for worse)
I'm hoping the air of mystery still kept some doors open... this girl was already older than me, more reserved and admittedly alot more on her game. I'm hoping my wildcard way of playing was more interesting to her than it was damaging.
I'm not sure if consistency ruins things for me or makes me more mysterious either
In the case that I kept switching it up throughout so she couldn't read me (for better or for worse)
I'm hoping the air of mystery still kept some doors open... this girl was already older than me, more reserved and admittedly alot more on her game. I'm hoping my wildcard way of playing was more interesting to her than it was damaging.
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- Aug 25, 2014
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- 1,149
Hey man,
being mysterious and unpredictable helps a lot, for sure. As well as making her chase, being scarce, and only giving back 80% - less is more.
But now it seems you have blown things a little. It is best to take a break and see if she comes back. If you continue to pursue her now you will be needy and chasey which will just finish to kill her attraction if any left. If you disappear for a while she will notice it, and if she still likes you a little you may receive a "Hi" sort of text soon. If this is the case, reengage casually - not rush in. If not, just game other girls and ping her in a couple of weeks to check the mood.
Well, that would be my approach, at least.
Cheers,
Seppuku
being mysterious and unpredictable helps a lot, for sure. As well as making her chase, being scarce, and only giving back 80% - less is more.
But now it seems you have blown things a little. It is best to take a break and see if she comes back. If you continue to pursue her now you will be needy and chasey which will just finish to kill her attraction if any left. If you disappear for a while she will notice it, and if she still likes you a little you may receive a "Hi" sort of text soon. If this is the case, reengage casually - not rush in. If not, just game other girls and ping her in a couple of weeks to check the mood.
Well, that would be my approach, at least.
Cheers,
Seppuku
Thanks for the replies I just hope it isn't too late... I played the nice guy/mysterious/wildcard role throughout this whole thing so I'm hoping that helps. I know it could be 50% backfire though if that drove her further away, but from what I'm reading maybe the imbalance kept her watching...we shall see! ... I usually don't slip up but of course when I'm out of practice and happen to find someone awesome that's the time I do LOL
I got kind of aggressive with her at the end too so that probably didn't help much. I think that might still work to my advantage though cause I wasn't outright obsessive and clingy. Maybe all of that confusion and wilderness will wash over. I think the odds are in my favor with her being a nerd and me being a wildcard. I know I trigger some sort of submissive switch in her ...just depends if I took the bad boy stuff too far or not...sorry for venting but it's hard to put into perspective cause I feel like I'm on the edge of every extreme here. I chanced everything to the very edge. I'm gonna pull back for at least 6 weeks and see where she ends up
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2015
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- 430
Simple, texting or emailing too much. Flower are for relationships. You are sending mixed signals. She doesn't know if you want a relationship or sex. You have crossed the line of relationship and sex. Your choice is drop her or proceed with a relationship.
SG
SG
Well what's worse about my mixed signals was she lives 2 hours away but visits where I live probably every 2 weeks (right outside of nyc) we weren't physical tbh, just really close. It was at the point where it was about to get serious cause she was taking it slow. And I sent the flowers on a whim frankly to mess with her, I didn't think it would do this LOL ... I immediately regretted it when I sent them.
She kept giving me mixed signals as she began to ice me out which is the confusing part. She only comes around when I talk semi sexual or bring up a relationship. I've been icing her out now ... but another question. She is a photographer...should I avoid her photography too? Or would that be too harsh of a message ... I feel like avoiding her completely will destroy everything even more. Should I just continue to linger say once every 2 weeks? Or completely ice... mind you this girl thinks highly of herself, she's a complete nerd and not a social butterfly.
I just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and how it worked. I know where I went wrong and ways to distance myself, I just think it's interesting.
Thanks for all the feedback too this is fun
She kept giving me mixed signals as she began to ice me out which is the confusing part. She only comes around when I talk semi sexual or bring up a relationship. I've been icing her out now ... but another question. She is a photographer...should I avoid her photography too? Or would that be too harsh of a message ... I feel like avoiding her completely will destroy everything even more. Should I just continue to linger say once every 2 weeks? Or completely ice... mind you this girl thinks highly of herself, she's a complete nerd and not a social butterfly.
I just want to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and how it worked. I know where I went wrong and ways to distance myself, I just think it's interesting.
Thanks for all the feedback too this is fun