FR++ hot blonde gym girl. Could have - damage control??

[girlsfollow]

Met in gym. Night before I was leaving for 2 weeks so I know I could have nailed it if I had pushed harder, we went to bar - reserved at first but she soon opens up and eventually starts talking about sex, realise now spent too long talking to her - should have left after max 2.5 hours (would have also saved on the big bill). From talking to her its clear she is a classic thrill seeker she wants intense stimulation - she throws out there that ONS is often the best sex because you don't care. I can tell she would be very good in bed, mentions that its every girls fantasy to be with two girls, quite experienced.

Took home, escalated got top/bra off (this was a mistake - more resistance to the jeans coming off - which I'm sure would have come off) she has a nipple piercing, gentle bite etc and started to escalate by moving hand in back of jeans - big resistance due to period. She's turned on but we had talked about cycles before and in bar she had told me she is on 2nd day of period (I was super cadid about this stuff with her). - likely quite bad

I know I could have pushed through this (I really haven't ever minded period/actually associated with good sex because ex was always horny etc etc///) but I had just had sex pretty much just before the date (it was a last minute thing - she doesn't plan and got back to me super late about that eve) and coupled with the period/alcohol I thought it wouldn't be awesome so decided to not bother pushing too hard and just talked with her till 4/5am despite her having work the next day. - thought it would be better to not have low quality sex first time and save it to make it amazing next time (am I totally wrong here?). I told her she should go when she started falling asleep and I was packing. She said some jokey stuff about ignoring me in the gym next time she sees me. She's been cold via text since although still responding but mainly in a friendly way.

I just got back from travels for 2 weeks, at first I tried to keep contact open but she was responding poorly: short and things like articles to do with what we talked about - (I now realise that if you provide a girl with other types of stimulation - eg fun debate - these are just as bad as other FUN for satiating her - don't over provide good feelings - or she WILL assume thats the type of fun you are actually for), she also ignored a sexual reference I made about her being frustrated after her period since she said thats when she's most frustrated - I ceased all contact for the second week.

The girls were really to the point where I was with no game playing so must have got into a bad habit, basically sent this when got back: "26hours later... been eating out so long really feel like cooking, you should join me when you're clear next few days" - no response

So lame text on tuesday - what can I do to grab this back?I don't know when she goes to the gym so can't rely on meeting her there, any suggestions for texts I could send - I think that text wasn't challenging enough...needs some spice - I'm sure the right persistence could pay off here and she is exactly my type atm - maybe tease her about playing hard to get (after being so seductive before) - because she's so frustrated she's got all angry and closed

 

[girlsfollow]

nothing?

 

[Chase]

GF-

Some mistakes here, though it looks like you recognize most of them:

reserved at first but she soon opens up and eventually starts talking about sex, realise now spent too long talking to her - should have left after max 2.5 hours (would have also saved on the big bill)

I have found that generally the longer my dates go on without much physical movement, the less likely we are to end up going to bed. i.e., an exception to this might be going to a café for a coffe, then walking down by the beach, then hiking up a trail, and all this going on over 3 or 4 hours, then sex at the end of date, either off the trail or back at my place / her place. If there isn't a feeling of natural progression, it will feel like it's stalled out after more than a couple of hours - 2 hours is my max time for staying in a café or bar with girls these days - then it starts to feel to her like she doesn't know what to do and neither do you, which robs you of any authority/value/status you had over her - suddenly, both of you are in the same boat, inexperienced, uncertain, not knowing how to lead, and neither of you with time all that valuable.

This one's actually pretty huge.

From talking to her its clear she is a classic thrill seeker she wants intense stimulation - she throws out there that ONS is often the best sex because you don't care. I can tell she would be very good in bed, mentions that its every girls fantasy to be with two girls, quite experienced.

When girls talk about this on dates, it's usually a bad sign. They don't talk about it with men they're planning on sleeping with... more so with men they're feeling like are really good platonically. I'm guessing this came sometime after the 1 or 1.5 hour mark - if she's a thrill seeker, you wanted to have her out of there before then.

I know I could have pushed through this (I really haven't ever minded period/actually associated with good sex because ex was always horny etc etc///) but I had just had sex pretty much just before the date (it was a last minute thing - she doesn't plan and got back to me super late about that eve) and coupled with the period/alcohol I thought it wouldn't be awesome so decided to not bother pushing too hard and just talked with her till 4/5am despite her having work the next day. - thought it would be better to not have low quality sex first time and save it to make it amazing next time (am I totally wrong here?).

Yes - totally wrong here.

If the escalation nearly fails, then DOES fail, and you call it off assuming you'll pick it up again later, you've got maybe a 10% or 15% chance of ever realistically seeing her and getting her in bed again.

If the escalation nearly fails, but then you get your cock inside of her and have some at least okay sex, your chance of seeing her goes up to maybe 50% to 60%. If you get your cock inside of her and have some GREAT sex, that night and the next morning, 90% you see her again.

If you get your cock inside of her and have BAD sex, but it's exciting in some way (e.g., in an alley, in your car, with her tits pushed up against the glass of your window for all the world to see, out on your balcony, etc.), still a 50% to 60% chance you see her again.

The rule here is: if you want to see her again, close things out and get inside her.

Don't assume you can pick up where you left off if your penis didn't make it into her vagina. The closer you get without going the distance, the more likely she is to vanish and never be seen again. If you aren't going to close things out, don't start.

So lame text on tuesday - what can I do to grab this back?I don't know when she goes to the gym so can't rely on meeting her there, any suggestions for texts I could send - I think that text wasn't challenging enough...needs some spice - I'm sure the right persistence could pay off here and she is exactly my type atm - maybe tease her about playing hard to get (after being so seductive before) - because she's so frustrated she's got all angry and closed

See the second option in this article, on failed escalations:

3 Second Date Strategies to Make Her Flirt and Swoon

Otherwise, job well done - clearly she liked you a good bit, and despite taking too long talking to her you still almost had it, and maybe would have had you pushed. You're at the point now GF where you need to tidy up some of the messy edges of your game, but if you can handle those things you start really flying.

Chase

 

[girlsfollow]

tidyness, fine tuning, re-engaging

Hi Chase,

Excellent to hear your viewpoint, really appreciate hearing from your experience.

I have found that generally the longer my dates go on without much physical movement, the less likely we are to end up going to bed. i.e., an exception to this might be going to a café for a coffe, then walking down by the beach, then hiking up a trail, and all this going on over 3 or 4 hours, then sex at the end of date, either off the trail or back at my place / her place. If there isn't a feeling of natural progression, it will feel like it's stalled out after more than a couple of hours - 2 hours is my max time for staying in a café or bar with girls these days - then it starts to feel to her like she doesn't know what to do and neither do you, which robs you of any authority/value/status you had over her - suddenly, both of you are in the same boat, inexperienced, uncertain, not knowing how to lead, and neither of you with time all that valuable.

This one's actually pretty huge.

Yes I can totally see this, I think its crucial to keep moving, if you're moving every 1.5 hours max - these times are actually quite short if youre talking and ordering drinks - so it feels like you are constantly on the move which creates an "adventure/exploring" feel. This is a benefit of having multiple venues - I made this mistake because it was the first time I switched from multi venue date to simple single venue - I think I might go back to two venues again..

When girls talk about this on dates, it's usually a bad sign. They don't talk about it with men they're planning on sleeping with... more so with men they're feeling like are really good platonically. I'm guessing this came sometime after the 1 or 1.5 hour mark - if she's a thrill seeker, you wanted to have her out of there before then.

I did get the feeling that this was a test of somesort! I remember justmaking sure I didnt fall for it and seem overly impressed by it like most guys falling over themselves would be, how would you handle this? Are you saying I should have moved her straight to my place after just 1 hour!? I realise shes thrill seeking but that seems short! - athough I can tell she wouldnt have felt in danger by then so you might be right - prob would have been some resistance though..

Yes - totally wrong here.

If the escalation nearly fails, then DOES fail, and you call it off assuming you'll pick it up again later, you've got maybe a 10% or 15% chance of ever realistically seeing her and getting her in bed again.

If the escalation nearly fails, but then you get your cock inside of her and have some at least okay sex, your chance of seeing her goes up to maybe 50% to 60%. If you get your cock inside of her and have some GREAT sex, that night and the next morning, 90% you see her again.

If you get your cock inside of her and have BAD sex, but it's exciting in some way (e.g., in an alley, in your car, with her tits pushed up against the glass of your window for all the world to see, out on your balcony, etc.), still a 50% to 60% chance you see her again.

The rule here is: if you want to see her again, close things out and get inside her.

Don't assume you can pick up where you left off if your penis didn't make it into her vagina. The closer you get without going the distance, the more likely she is to vanish and never be seen again. If you aren't going to close things out, don't start.

So essentially what you are saying here is that in this situation where I knew things wouldn't be ideal - assuming sex was not really ideal (persistent period+other factors) Rather than pushing half way like I did it would have actually been better to CUT THE DATE SHORT, end it on good terms and thereby keep some of the mystery and tension there. This would have avoided the negative effects of the failed escalation and then I could have attacked when conditions were not so bad. I can infact imagine if I had done this I prob could have invited her to my place to cook once I got back for a second date? - SO - if at all possible PUSH FOR INSERTION - IF NOT (or if you don't feel like it right then) - END ON A HIGH

See the second option in this article, on failed escalations:

3 Second Date Strategies to Make Her Flirt and Swoon

So you are suggesting I invite her to a party with lots of girls? - this is tricky, I am trying to organise something at my place - but I dont have a group of hot girls that want me just sitting around somewhere - any of the girls that are attractve - I am seeing...


Thanks again - I plan to see her in the gym this week and then invite her to a party if I have one and otherwise just treat her like a friend (not invite her over on her own) and tease her - I tried inviting her over last time I saw her so I'll do this to seem like I've slotted her in the friend zone and not too interested