Hot girl with the “bodyguard” type at her side, how to diffuse?

[Start_ed_young]

Hottie in my gym class one year younger. She kinda seems to like me, but she is always hanging around this guy who’s cool with me and also this other girl who “hates” me. Occasionally the girl who “hates” me is rotated with this other girl, whom I’m Not attracted to, but she likes me.

I would really like to advance things with the hottie, but there never seems an opportunity to talk without going overly direct (unless that could work), but what about the guy who she’s alway with? I haven’t talked to her individually much, we’ve had some banter, but no deep dive, or any conversation past 30 words.

How would you deal with a situatoon similar to this one?

Edit: I’m 90% sure he is not her boyfriend or lover
Also, I have connections to her through friends that know her and her brother if that would be a better way to go about it.

 

[Koneal43]

For starters, get the whole "she's so hot" mentality out your head. You are subconsciously disqualifying yourself. I understand that she is beautiful by your standards. You need to start seeing her in an average light. Start finding imperfections about her. That will take some of the edge off. The goal is to approach her like you would any other woman. Hold up, One question?? Do you even know her name?

 

[Start_ed_young]

Hey thanks for the advice.

I see what your saying about the “she’s so hot” mentality, but I don’t think that’s me. I’m just aware that I’m attracted and I know she’s not “that hot” just someone is fancy. If I wasn’t thinking she was hot and though of her as an average woman, why would I approach?

If it’s a pedestal problem, don’t worry majority of the exchanges we have had have been light tease and her her asking a favor which I decline.

And yes, I know her name lol.

 

[Koneal43]

Ok cool about the name part lol. I didnt say look at her as an average woman, i said look at her in a average light. There is a difference. A avereage woman is an average woman. But looking at someone through an average light means, your not doing any of the extras that other guys are doing. If this girl is as hot as you say, then she is used to the simpish/extra behavior. You have to look at her in an average light. What the hell is light teasing? Is that like she lightly flirts with you? Friends lightly flirt around. Is she giving you any choosing signal? You look for choosing signals not flirtatious behavior. Flirting is noncommittal, choosing signals is commitment

 

[Start_ed_young]

Thanks again, but...
First of all, I’m not why you keep refffering to how hot I think she is I don’t really think of her as “really hot” she is just “hot” by which I just mean attractive.

Secondly, when you say seeing her in an average light means not doing any of the extras these other guys are doing, could you give some examples of what these extra/simpish things are please?

What the hell is light teasing? Is that like she lightly flirts with you? Friends lightly flirt around. Is she giving you any choosing signal? You look for choosing signals not flirtatious behavior. Flirting is noncommittal, choosing signals is commitment

Welll, by light teasing, i mean ignoring her requests for mdmall favors by telling her something like your gonna have to do more than just ask nicely. I mean chase framing, and I mean small banter like she says “hey, I’m getting the hang of this, aren’t I” I say, with a matter’o’fact facial expression “welllll, Your getting the hang of something.. but this ain’t it” (sexy smile) so pretty much establishing myself in a position of not being a suck up.

Counter question, What the hell are choosing signals? I mean I have next to no idea what these are could you please include some examples of this as well? Lol

I do like what your saying though, but my question is more about how to escalate to a close.

 

[Koneal43]

Ok, you got you already view her in said average light. Now on to choosing signals.

There is light choosing and there is hard choosing. Light choosing is little subtle hints like she looks at you a little longer then she needs to. She makes it her business to let you know she is around. Light touching and flirtatious behavior. Hard choosing is her being overtly interested. She will ask you out. She will try to get your number. You will know hard choosing because there won't be a doubt in your mind that she is interested.

Ok so your saying that your 90% sure she is not with the dude. Why is it 90% vs 100%. Some things you can be covert about and other things you have to come out and say. There is no definite line that you can give her to get what you want. You have to feel the vibe of her. Try this as an experiment. Next time you see her, dont say anything to her. Thats going to tell you 1 of 2 things. If she doesnt say anything to you then your the one initiating conversation. If thats the case it can be savaged but its going to take sone work. If she comes up to you talking about whatever then there is interest there. You need to get the number ASAP.

 

[Start_ed_young]

Hey Koneal,

Could you give me an example of the extra/Simpish stuff that most guys do still? thanks.

She has definitely shown some light choosing signals, but she doesn’t usually approach me verbally, sometimes, usually she just gives me the bedroom eyes and sometimes walks really fast past me and really close. Just gets my attention.

And are you recommending I ask her if she’s single? Can’t say that I’m opposed.

 

[Koneal43]

Doing simpish stuff is basically going out of your way to get a reaction. Carrying bags and having meaningless dead conversations, and so on. Any and everything you can do to put yourself in the friendzone.

Yes thats exactly what im suggesting. Simple ask is she with anyone, she going to say one of two things. Yes or No. Thats it. What are bedroom eyes? So basically you initiate all interactions and conversations?

 

[Marcellus]

Yo Started Young,

Good shit here homie! Just keep doing what you're doing. Light conversation + little bit of flirting and you're all good.

And then once you catch her by herself you can ask her out. I probably wouldn't ask her out in front of him, he could get really jealous and start making the vibe all negative when you're around her.

Or she could just reject you cos he's around and she doesn't want to do that to him. She'd probably love your ballsiness tho. But yeah easier when's she by herself. Like when she's walking past you could lightly grab her arm, stop her, have a short conversation and then do it.

-Marcellus