how and how many texts to send after you met the girl before asking out

[razir110]

Hi everyone!

So I've met this girl through a friend and got her wattsapp. I texted her 2 days later, a funny witty text about something that happened, we exchanged 3 texts (so no overtexting and my first text was not a question, a VERY good tip btw!) then I didn't comment on her last text, so she was the one to be "put on hold"
2 days after I texted her again with the same formula, first message with no question, but this time i would ask her out. However she didn't reply. I didn't continue to text.

So question: The info on the site about how much and how long to text before asking out is contradictory. Should I ask her out on the first interaction? Or should I split it in two? Or am I overthinking this whole thing? I've seen an article that said that. Like first time is for some rapport building. Second time you ask her out.

I mean honestly splitting in two seems like overstretching right? But then again asking out straight away may seem too pushy and needy (or not, maybe it come across as showing clear intentions of not beating around the bush)

Should I then just ask her out on our first message exchange? Or again, am I overthinking?

Another question: Since she didn't reply I am in a shitty position because now I'm not gotta text her again. It would ruin all the "I am in control" image she may have of me. When she didn0t reply, should I have simply added, like 2h later, "oh and btw lets have that coffee.. bla bla" ? and sort of leave it to her?

What are your thoughts on this?

Thanks!

PS: I HATE whatsapp because of this "availability" it gives, like the good old SMS was much better because u could simply shoot your message with no tic-tac-tic-tac message exchange. Should I do the same on whatsapp? Or is it better to wrote shorter messages and have a short "conversation" ?

 

[Michal]

Hello razir,

I would say your mistake was not commenting on her last text and then waiting two days to respond to her. After that, you said you used to same formula which kind of reset the conversation and all the momentum you have built was gone. I mean look at one of my conversations:

Me - Tue 18:07: Hello, Jess, hope you're having a good day. I met a monk yesterday, we talked about meditation, spirit and such. It is amazing how calm and chill these people are.
Her - Wed 8:53: Heyy, yes, there is lots people could learn from them, especially in this age.
Me - Wed 16:43: Yea, everything is in rush these days. How about you, spirituality, relaxation or yoga?
Her - Wed 18:22: I know right? I go to yoga from time to time

Now at this point, I thought the stage has been set, mostly because she was answering, she also replied within like 2 hour and lastly - maybe too much over analysing on my part - she incorporated a smiley face at the end just like I did in my 2nd text (first messages did not have those) so I thought she is following my lead / example.
So I asked her out at like 19:13 and then I went to cook dinner and she accepted within an hour.

Now Imagine I waited 2 days and sent her message like this:

Hey, I was passing a toy store this afternoon and there was a giant plush teddy bear put next to the enterance door, and a beautiful girl was hugging his belly. Damn, teddy bear, what a pimp.

Now this messge is pretty stupid but it just feels like I am giving the girl "interesting tales from the life of Michal". And it does not really fit.

Now, to be fair, I am sure you did not go a ridiculous way like this but you need to ask her out before the conversation stales or is interupted. You dont have to exchange that many texts really.

 

[lostnumber]

When in doubt ask her out. Very easy for things to go cold quickly when texting

I would always go for the date in the first exchange of messages. You want to trade a few messages first and not ask her out of the blue, but a date should be part of your initial exchange

 

[razir110]

Hi guys and thank you for your reply.

So yeah I agree with you the best is to just fire it our straight away and see where it takes you.

By waiting you have much more to lose than to gain!

She replied today and I just send her a text asking when she is free for a coffee. But this is unnecessary waiting...

So yeah I have to stop this "i dont want to scare her off" bullsht.

Take cares mates!