How could I ask her out or something?

[enjoystick]

Hey folks,

It's enjoystick again so I've been having a "problem" for about two weeks that I can't figure it out.
I study at a university and have a lab lecture where I have to do measurments so two weeks ago I saw a pretty nice chick there but she already has a lab partner (who isn't me) and so do I. Her lab partner is like a boyish guy (maybe 19 or 20 years old) and Ive already seen her in some lectures but she has been always with her guy friends and they're all the same like her lab partner. (I'm 26 years old and feel that I'm more a man generally than them) but to me it definitely is like a barrier that she's never alone. I know her name from a lab list as well as her facebook and I actually need to get some information about this lab and thought it'd be an opportunity to talk her through facebook however it's like "hiding the banana" totally so my question is for example I write "hey x-y.. I've seen you in the x-y lab, and what do you know about....?" how could I change it into something different like approach or expressing my interest or whatever?
By the way I don't want to get in her 19-20 years old boyish social circle so it'd be good to make it happen in a discreet way.


Thanks in advance,
Enjoystick

 

[lostnumber]

You need to man up and approach this girl in person. Trying to what you are thinking (approach her on facebook) is a weak play and had a very low liklihood of success. Best case scenario she takes you at face value and chats about science platonically, more likely she gets creeped out because some random guy she has never met is messaging her on facebook.

You are anxious about approaching her, I get it. I hate approaching myself and rarely do it for that reason. It doesnt help either that she is alwayd surrounded by friends. But the reality is, attractive girls are rarely alone, and you'll need to be able to handle a social group if you ever want to meet women out in the wild.

I would simply walk up to her next time you see her after a lecture and say "I don't think we've met yet, my name is enjoystick." She might be with other people, so introduce yourself to them as well. Then focus all your conversation on her (acknowledging the others as appropriate, but to the minimum extent that you have to) as you walk somewhere and grab her number. After that you can set up a date, or study session or whatever angle you want to take discretely without involving her friends.

Messaging her on facebook is a poor idea. Think about how James Bond, or Ryan Gosling, or whatever celebrity you can think of that has success with women would handle this. Would they send this chick a passive message on facebook? No, they'd man up and walk over to make an introduction.

If you get nervous it might help if you don't even think of it as an attempt to pick up. You are just introducing yourself to another classmate. Thats a normal thing people do, I'm sure you've done it dozens of times. Worst case scenario you only get a chance to make Smalltalk and don't get her number, but then at least she knows who you are. After that if you want to message her on facebook, while it's still not ideal, at least you aren't a random stranger.

Does that make sense?

 

[enjoystick]

Yeah, it does.
sometimes I find it hard to approach someone, but I still can handle it with some hesitation (of course when she's alone). and thank you for your suggestion on this. I'll do it in this way! an idea just came to mind... how about inviting her to my desk to help me with sth, and after that telling her what was my real intention? in my mind it totally seems cool and smooth. :O

 

[lostnumber]

If you're confident enough to pull it off and execute it well that could be very effective. I say go for it! Just make sure you follow through on the second part.

It's one thing not to be super direct and clear about your intentions, but it's another to misrepresent them. IE you don't want the girl to think you really want a study buddy if that's not what you are after

 

[Fuck This]

You have to get comfortable greeting your classmates. Male or female. This assumes you are not the TA or Grad student running the lab.

Need a convo starter?

Why you taking this class? General Ed requirements or for your major?
How is it going? Are you keeping up on the tests and lab reports?
"How's your lab partner? Mine is an airhead. I've got to check all his work, and he doesn't write stuff down well." (or whatever)

If you don't want to make it an interview, lead off with your answer to those questions.

The most effective way to do that is tho engage the group. It is actually indirect and kind of sneaky way to get her to try to get your attention.