How do I handle this one?

[NarrowJ]

The questions are at the end of this, so bear with me here.

So, I take my dog to the vet on Saturday. There is a smoking hot girl working there. She is extremely friendly, touching me, etc. But, has a big rock on her hand. Twenty minutes after I leave, I get a friend request on Facebook. It's her. We have 1 mutual friend. Later that night, I accept the request. A couple of days later, she sends me a private message. Here is the dialogue:



Girl: I'm gonna miss seeing you boys now that Cyrus' shots are done for the year!

Me: Well, Alison... You could still see us

Girl: Hmmmm

Girl: Well I had thought about sending you a postcard with some bogus reason to bring him in...but I'd feel bad making you pay for that

Me: Send the card! I was kind of thinking about faking that he was sick, myself But then I'd feel bad about that too, so...

Girl: Lol That's great! Just let him know that if he is ever going to be "sick", the absolute best days for that would be Saturdays and Mondays from 8-1. Ya know, if at all possible... Not that I ever want him to be sick! And darn you for buying TWO heartworm pills at once. You coulda just got one, ya know!

Me: Haha well I was instructed to buy two. You'll have to blame her for that one I was actually thinking we could get together sometime when you're NOT working though...

Girl: Like my boss knows anything!! Ha. And that might be a possibility..

Girl: Were you out in tville fri night by chance??

Me: No, I was in Springfield Friday night.

Me: Why?

Girl: Was walking out of major leagues and thought I saw you, almost went back in but even if it was you, didn't know what to say or if you'd even know who I was...then Saturday morning you walked in. Crazy!!

Girl: So I got to see you anyway!

Me: Yeah. I don't really go out in t-ville too often anymore. I kind of wish I was there now haha.

Me: Meaning Friday...

Girl: I hate going out here. Went with a gf that I hadn't seen in awhile.

Girl: And yeah, that woulda been nice!

Me: Well... We should grab a couple drinks and a bite to eat someplace NOT taylorville soon?

Girl: Mmmhmmm definitely NOT in Taylorville. And how about a few drinks?!!

Me: I'm thinking a nice road trip could be fun

Girl: That would most definitely be fun.. Has the potential to be too much fun! ;P

Me: Yes a few sounds better Too much fun is not enough fun haha

Girl: Trouble trouble! Just please tell me you're a Bears fan!

Me: Haha a troublemaker, huh? You better not get me arrested and yes I'm a huge Bears fan

Girl: Nooooo not me, never! I promise, no arrests!

Girl: And thank god...i can keep talking to you!

Me: Haha yes you sure can

Me: And I'm not saying I don't want to do anything illegal, I just don't want to get caught ;P

Girl: Haha ummm yes...not getting caught is definitely important on my end as well! You live in -----, right?

Me: Yes, -----. Which is obviously right by I-55. So... we could fly north or south.

Girl: Yes we could What's your schedule like?

Me: I have my son Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

Me: You?

Girl: Ok

Girl: My schedule is different every week but very flexible. What about work? What/when are you thinking?

Me: Well. I work days.

Me: I'm free tomorrow night, Thursday night or anytime Sunday this week.

Girl: I work a cpl nights at the tanning salon. And this week it's tues and thurs. But Sunday could work!

Me: Lets do Sunday. I take my son back at 1 or around then

Girl: Ok so I meet you...where?

Me: You can just meet me here and we can head somewhere from then?

Girl: Yep! Oh my. Now I wish I wasn't so shy around you at the clinic!

Me: It's ok I know how "shy girls" are haha

Girl: Dammit.

Girl: Haha

Me: Haha!

Girl: I'll meet you wherever. You just let me know where is best

Me: I didn't thinik you were awfully shy

Girl: Or did you mean at your place?

Girl: Not really shy..just quiet sometimes!

Girl: And thanks for coming on Saturdays, btw!

Me: Yeah you can meet me at my house if that's ok. Then just drive my vehicle from there?

Me: Maybe I came on Saturday for a reason

Girl: Yes sounds good! I remember telling Cyrus on one of your visits to keep coming on Saturdays so I could see him! Was hoping his daddy was listening! Haha But I really do love that dog!!

Me: Haha yeah that's funny, I do remember you saying that He is definitely awesome.

Girl: His owner seems to be as well.

Me: Well... I really like that you think that

Girl: Me too

Me:

Girl: And hey, XXX-XXXX if it's easier and you ever wanna chat!

Me: Thanks... I'll be in touch, Alison

Girl: Looking forward to it



After some digging, she's not married. She is engaged to be married. That said, I have a couple questions about how to handle this one properly:

1. How and how much should I be interacting with her between now and Sunday?

2. How far do I take her from my house? If she has some ideas of what we're going to do with each other when we get back to my place, I don't want an hour long car ride to give her time to think herself out of it.

3. I'd like some feedback on the interaction / messaging with the girl. Anything I did well? Not so well?

Also: Just want to say that in addition to this website and the books being awesome tools, its had somewhat of a placebo effect on me as well. I am getting better, because I think I'm getting better. My confidence has risen, people look at me differently. Just the fundamentals help 1000% (posture, the way you walk, talk, carry yourself).

 

[NarrowJ]

Nobody has anything?

 

[trashKENNUT]

NarrowJ,

After some digging, she's not married. She is engaged to be married. That said, I have a couple questions about how to handle this one properly:

1. How and how much should I be interacting with her between now and Sunday?

2. How far do I take her from my house? If she has some ideas of what we're going to do with each other when we get back to my place, I don't want an hour long car ride to give her time to think herself out of it.

3. I'd like some feedback on the interaction / messaging with the girl. Anything I did well? Not so well?

Also: Just want to say that in addition to this website and the books being awesome tools, its had somewhat of a placebo effect on me as well. I am getting better, because I think I'm getting better. My confidence has risen, people look at me differently. Just the fundamentals help 1000% (posture, the way you walk, talk, carry yourself).

YOu might put yourself in trouble with a women who's engaged to be married soon. I felt you had too much texting. Otherwise, text if you need to. When you do meet her, find out her relationship status and proceed with caution. YOu can mess her up.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/girl- ... things-not

ZacAdamMorrison

 

[Garrett]

NarrowJ,

1. You should not interact with her at all until Sunday . When you text her too much, you are more prone to making mistakes and it's more a thing a platonic friend would do. You want her to see you as this sexy mysterious guy, so don't text her unless you want to lose her. Instead, text her a couple hours before your date saying, "Hey Alison! We still on for today ?" Note: when you're texting her, it's good to use smileys and exclamation marks to get her more excited and willing to meet you. It's a bit feminin to some to use those, but once on the date, you show her your sexy side. You just need to get them out, so you want to do whatever you can to elevate your chances . Also, don't make it a big deal, if it doesn't workout so what? No big deal, you've got this site and us on the forum to help you!

2. The woman seems really into you man. I don't think she'll care too much where you take her, as long as you don't wine and dine her or take her somewhere fancy. At the same time, Mcdonalds may be a bit too low for her liking. I would opt for like a Starbucks where you can chat and hangout for a couple hours, then tell her you want to show her something back at your place and within 10 minutes, kiss and escalate .

3. Your interaction was okay, but there are definitely some things to take note of. You texted her way too much; had you have just sent her a few messages with the purpose and goal to get her out, she would have agreed. You want to aim for max 10 msgs to get her out. If you go a bit over it's fine, as long as you're staying focused on the goal. Also, your interaction lacked a bit of purpose/focus on the goal, so you want to tighten that up a bit and focus more on getting her out than talking for the sake of conversation. Talk on the date, and let her get to know you then, not via text . Compared to your average clueless guy out there, you faired better because you somewhat cut the fat and moved towards the date, but it could have been a bit more concise, direct, and to the point.

Anyways, hope this works out for you man! If you want, keep us updated!
Garrett

 

[NarrowJ]

Thanks, guys.

I normally send 7-10 messages max, like you said. But, she is constantly messaging me. If I cut short on a message to try and end the convo, she'll fire back with a question or some other dialogue. You'll notice a lot of my messages in that dialogue above are sort of "convo enders". What's a good, polite way to stop the messaging without offending her?

 

[Garrett]

Just be honest with her and tell her you're busy so you'll talk more when you see her .

Garrett

 

[NarrowJ]

Want to keep this near the top so I can give a report after Sunday...

Also, I was able to stop the texting other than a quick exchange today. Its weird, this girl is so into me that I am not able to test myself or put any of this new knowledge to good use with her. Basically, I don't have to DO ANYTHING with this girl. Except, today when she texted me I experimented with something I read in one of the other forums... The yes ladder:

Girl: hey! Hope your day is going well. Hope I'm not bugging you!

Me: No you're fine. I'm good

Girl: We still on for a road trip to ---- Sunday???

Me: yeah or we can keep it simple too

Girl: Sure! I'm pretty much down for whatever. Lol

Me: Ok, well you like talking to me right?

Girl: SO much!

Me: ...and you want to have a few drinks too?

Girl: hell yes!

Me: Well, we could just do that at my place instead.

Girl: That would be great! I actually can't wait!!!

Me: Ok, good deal! I will talk to you Sunday then

Girl: ok!!

 

[Tyme2k]

Wow man great Yes ladder on that last interaction. I would say leave the relationship status completely out of the picture and when you think you should kiss her go for it. She is really into you, so it should be fairly smooth escalating. Remember if she gives any LMR stay unreactive, pull away first, relax, and raise her BT again. Go back in when it's natural. Good luck man, dont forget to post an FR after!

 

[NarrowJ]

Thanks man. I'm hoping for LR and not FR!!

 

[Tyme2k]

I was going to say that but I don't want you to be outcome dependent!!!

 

[NarrowJ]

Nice. I just realized that. Fixed...

She just posted some crap on fb about her and her "man" are out and about tonight and he took her out and this and that. Just texted me a winky face and says "So how late can I stay tomorrow night???"

Women are fucked up dude!!

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Nice. I just realized that. Fixed...

She just posted some crap on fb about her and her "man" are out and about tonight and he took her out and this and that. Just texted me a winky face and says "So how late can I stay tomorrow night???"

Women are fucked up dude!!

Don't worry about it man. For girls, it's all about the appearances. She won't be with him much longer, I guarantee that. She's already getting bored and they aren't even married yet, she's definitely not going to let it go to the altar. I went out with a girl who did that with her boyfriend at the time. They didn't last two months. I would suggest, however, that you make sure that you are willing to take the dude if he decides to come after you. Guys can get really pissed off with other guys who are messing around with their girlfriends. Make sure you are willing to deal with that if it becomes an issue. In my case, I came pretty close to having him throw a punch at me while at work because of it. Of course, he was my size and has no martial arts training, so I wasn't too worried about it, but had he been bigger or better trained than me, we would have had a problem.

 

[The Tool]

SOlid interaction. I liked the yes ladder howed it go?

 

[NarrowJ]

Well.. my arms, chest and back are on fire. I'm pretty sure she may be having trouble walking, sitting down, etc today too.

Yesterday morning, I had told her that I would be home around 2 PM and to just let me know when she was on her way. She comes to the door with a fifth of Crown Royal and a 2 liter of Coke. (Where have you been all my life?). I ask her if I can take that off her hands, and invite her in. I make sure to tell her to take her shoes off.

We proceed to the kitchen, and I'm in there filling ice cube trays and we're talking. This chick is not only smoking hot, but I sense that she is quite bold as well. She's talking to me like she already knows me. I tell her to do the honors and pour us some drinks. As she is pouring mine, I tell her: "whoa hey, are you trying to get me drunk? I'm not that easy!". She likes this comment.

Next, after we stand at the kitchen counter for a minute I gesture to the couch and ask (command ) her to have a seat. We sit down together, we're talking. She is going a mile a minute, smiling and giggling. I stop her occasionally to get a few words in. The subject of music comes up, and I happen to have just bought a couple Dan Hubbard and The Humadors albums off of iTunes. (these guys are great, btw. you all should look them up). So, I fire up the iTunes and we're listening to music and the TV is on mute. I get up and light the fireplace, and come back and sit a little closer to her this time. She is touching me way more than I'm attempting to touch her, although I am now and again. We're basically pointed cockeye toward one another, knee to knee.

After about 3 drinks, some really nice conversation and the music and sharing some favorite YouTube videos, etc. I sense that she is ready, so I go in for a kiss. She obliges. I pull back a little, I'm teasing her. She tells me to stop this. We are making out on the couch, and she stops me a couple times ("want to watch some tv?" or "so what do you think about me?" and etcetera). I casually respond to the questions, but I'm not turning my attention away from her body and after the second time she stopped me I figured it was time to give her about all she could handle.

We had sex several times over the next 8 hours or so. On the floor in front of the fireplace, the couch, my bed. WARNING the following is quite graphic, but I know some will appreciate it. The first time we fucked, she told me to cum in her mouth. I didn't quite make it there and it ended up on her chest and face. She wiped some off and licked it off her fingers. What?? Yes!! haha

Anyway, it went great and we're going to see each other again Tuesday night.

 

[Franco]

Well played here, NarrowJ!

What you probably didn't realize here is that you could have escalated things in this interaction MUCH more quickly. Most girls that I bring home now (even the ones who aren't as obviously forward as this girl was) barely get through half of their first drink before I go in for the kiss, and I have yet to have a girl not be ready for it. I have a VERY successful method for getting the first kiss -- almost every girl has told me afterward how "bold" and "sexy" it was after I did it. If you'd like to try it sometime, check out my comment on Chase's kissing article here.

Again, excellent job! Hopefully this interaction continues to go the way you want it to.

- Franco

 

[NarrowJ]

Thanks! I'll take a look at that article and your comments.

I probably moved faster than it sounds. We were drinking quickly. It was probably an hour to 90 minutes at most from her arrival until we were naked. I fancy myself as a bit of a romantic (although I do keep the edginess and bad boy thing going as well), so I feel like I can maybe take a little longer than I want to or need to. I think the whole interaction start to finish just seemed perfect, like that's how it should be done (in my case) every single time.


Three things:

1. She is in the top 95-percentile as far as quality (looks, personality, etc) of the women I've had in my entire life.

2. She couldn't wait to have me, and frankly it was also one of the top 5 sexual encounters I've ever had.

3. It's no coincidence that this happened roughly three weeks after joining this forum and scouring the blog posts on this website.

I'm a completely different person. It's crazy!

Should I post this in the field reports forum?

 

[charming]

After about 3 drinks, some really nice conversation and the music and sharing some favorite YouTube videos, etc. I sense that she is ready, so I go in for a kiss. She obliges. I pull back a little, I'm teasing her. She tells me to stop this. We are making out on the couch, and she stops me a couple times ("want to watch some tv?" or "so what do you think about me?" and etcetera). I casually respond to the questions, but I'm not turning my attention away from her body and after the second time she stopped me I figured it was time to give her about all she could handle.

Hey NarrowJ!

Sounds like you used those fundamentals, and got it done.

I seem to be failing quite a bit lately at this stage, can you expand more on your sexual (physical) escalation?
- How much time had passed from when she first arrived to till you started escalating?
- Did the sexual escalation start with the kiss or were you already playing with her hair, stroking her arm, holding her close?
- Do you use the same process (ie running the bases, etc) with each girl?

 

[NarrowJ]

- How much time had passed from when she first arrived to till you started escalating?

Probably about 60-90 minutes. But, there was no date beforehand. She just came over to hang out. So, this entirety of the interaction at my place was two people sitting and getting to know one another over a couple drinks. I think if you're out (Starbucks, lunch, whatever) and then you're going back to your place, you need to do this within 10 minutes of getting her in a 2 person seating situation. I have a sectional couch in the living room, and a single chair. But, the chair is not right by the couch. She's not going to sit there. The only place to sit in my bedroom is on the bed itself.

- Did the sexual escalation start with the kiss or were you already playing with her hair, stroking her arm, holding her close?

I think anything more than light touch (maybe touching knees as you sit and talk, lightly touching her arm, leg, etc) before the kiss has not worked so well for me, for some reason. You don't want to give her too much, because then she probably starts to think you're afraid to kiss her. If you're stroking her hair or holding her close and not kissing her, I'm not sure that's the way to go.

- Do you use the same process (ie running the bases, etc) with each girl?

Well, to be honest I'm learning this stuff on the fly. I must say though, I'm proud of my progress. But, to answer - yes, the really prolific guys on this site seem to have a set process that they don't really deviate from. You have to find out what is working FOR YOU, and keep doing it.

 

[The Tool]

way to go narrow. Well done

 

[Tyme2k]

Yes you should write up a nice LR. Great job man, I knew it was gonna go down hahah