I think this is the reason so many dating coaches online "showing their tens" will show you a 7 who's just dressed like a porn cover. The definition of a 10 has become a girl who gets 10/10 sexual attention.
It is also due to this:
You may have noticed, but a LOT of couples look really similar to each other, facially. Is there an element of attraction related to facial similarity? Send this article to anyone you know who thinks "You can't get a good-looking woman unless you're genetically blessed with natural good looks...
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The vast majority of men celebrating over "banging a 10" who will show you their 10s, they will not be 10s to you. They will be 6s, 7s, or maybe 8s to you.
Then if you argue with them over it and tell them, "Dude, I'm sorry but... that is not a 10. THIS is a 10," they will chuckle and say, "You have to be kidding? That girl is
maybe a 7. 8 at best." Then you will think they're crazy and they will think you're crazy.
Only rarely are you going to find guys whose tastes sync up very closely with yours.
This thread (which I also referenced in the above post) is a clear example of that:
I'm curious to see what people's top girl looks like. Plus, I just found my new one. Her name is Claire Julien (an actress). I think she'd be better with brown eyes, but I really can't complain ;). She's on my vision board. I'm a sucker for blondes (but who isn't?)
www.skilledseducer.com
Anyway, on the main topic:
Yes, that's the tl;dr summary for what you need to do.
Also on-topic:
Ever fumble it up with a beautiful girl? You set one eye on her and instantly were dumbstruck, or thunderstruck – or hey, you gave it a shot and just plain struck out? It’s unbelievably common. Most men are unsure how to act around a girl they consider to be really, really valuable. Right off...
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Most guys’ knees turn to jelly when they meet a gorgeous girl. There’re two secrets to talking to beautiful girls: be chill about beauty and SHOW you are. There’s an old Mystery line that goes: “Beauty is common. What’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life.” The line works splendidly...
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Before stumbling into the world of pickup in late 2005, I'd never used the 1-to-10 scale. Maybe that's because I didn't really have friends; I wasn't comparing notes on girls. Or maybe it was because I wasn't trying to impress anyone by telling him I'd nailed a "total 10." But in pickup, it...
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Having experienced the power of cold approach and the value of doing it in a rather systematic and calculated way (you will probably hear more about this in the next articles...), I am a bit surprised that I am actually writing this article myself. I am a big believer in the efficiency of...
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With getting girls that seem "out of your league" there's a certain breakthrough point where before you land one of them it can feel impossible... then you land the first girl like that and you're walking on air. Then you start to wonder if it was a fluke and you'll never get a girl that hot again. Then you land your second and it's like lightning struck you twice. Then you get a third one. Then you start to expect it.
“Abundance Mentality” is something that’s frequently prescribed as an answer to men’s neediness issues: approach anxiety, having a “weird” or “awkward” vibe, escalation hesitation, failure to invite women home. Anything where a guy comes off as hesitant or is nervous about achieving a certain...
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Thing is, I don't have to "imagine" anything or theorize. I was a high-status guy before the Corona, where I built a little bit of a name for myself, and threw events and was surrounded by hotties by virtue of what I was doing. I had stunners throwing themselves at me.
I didn't have "solid inner-game", nor did any of this status "boost my confidence". I had shit inner game, and my confidence was bad, but they still threw themselves at me.
And no, getting status and success didn't boost my confidence, at all. Today I have 1000x the confidence now, and much more solid inner-game, it's not even comparable in terms of opportunities you get with stunners. Again, I don't have to theorize, I've been on both sides.
Yeah, but you probably didn't lay all those girls throwing themselves at you in social circle, right? Certainly not most of them.
A common point of confusion for guys switching between social circle and cold approach is the drop off in female attention.
Girls will devote a lot of time to charming, flirting, buttering up, etc., in social circle to keep access to a socially valuable men.
Some of those girls may hook up with these guys. But many of them are in "maintenance mode." Typically also the girls who hook up are at the lower end of the hot girl value spectrum (they're still hot, but they're not the highest status über hotties in the group).
OTOH, there's no reason for women to fawn over a total stranger in cold approach, except in rare cases (e.g., you are running "high status man" cold approach where you are just advertising social value like crazy from the drop). Instead you will generally just be getting women who are maybe a bit curious about you, but they don't know you from Jack yet.
The lack of initial attention doesn't really mean anything either. Curiosity is enough to get her on a date. Close her on the date.
The rule of the game is "all those reactions don't mean anything
unless your dick goes in the pussy."
==
To the point of the
@Mystique's questions, here are a few specific replies:
So my question to you guys, those who have actually done it —how did you get the 9s and 10s?
You know, those girls that you walk with and everyone stares…
She gets compliments from strangers every single day…
Every woman wants to be her friend…
Men, complete strangers, are nicer and go out of their way to please…
When you walk with her you feel like a god.
How did you get these type of women?
The very first one ever for me was a combination of dumb luck and dogged determination. She probably flaked on me 12 times and I bombed our first date and made her hate me. My fundamentals and game were trash then too. But I just continued to persist because I just wasn't going to let a girl look like that go. Texting, calling, if she ghosted for a while I'd call again, leave a voicemail being as charming as possible so she could hear my voice, call back again next time and she'd answer, 40-minute conversation, talking, laughing, ask her out, get another, "Maybe. We'll see!" Just doggedly kept at it.
Couldn't believe I had her once I finally did. Breakup was an existential crisis: "What if I can never get another girl like that again?" Getting another girl who was even hotter/better was a huge relief. Then another one after that better still and you just go, "Okay, I can get these girls now."
Between first and second girls I massively upgraded my game and fundamentals though, I will say that. Hot girls now will tell me they would not have liked me back then when they see pics of me from when I first landed the first girl. Heck, even SHE didn't like me at the time... I only got her through sheer force of will
Better fundamentals (suit and tie)?
Your fundamentals should be tailored to the type of hot girl you want to attract.
Look at the way the guys they go for dress. Model based on that -- then just do it even better than those guys do.
More successful (got the dollar bill$)?
Mystery trumps facts. "I work a high paying job at a prestigious company" does way, way worse for you than excellent dress and grooming combined with "I'm an artist" or "I haven't worked in a while" (charming smirk) -- are you fabulously wealthy? How are you so well-dressed and confident with her if you're just an artist or not working? So intriguing!
Better game (some advanced technique that hypnotizes them and makes em drop their panties)?
Better vibe (confidence, relaxation) + greater familiarity with her type + ability to hook her in without chasing, yes.
Better venue (maybe some locations just makes it easier to lay hotter women than some)?
Yes. "See and be seen" venues are tough unless you want to build up social clout in the venue.
You can get lucky finds in alternative venues / meet markets / quiet shops and streets sometimes -- hot girl will randomly be taken there by one of her friends even though she'd normally not go there; every other guy in the venue is too intimidated to approach. But sometimes you'll go these places and there will be no stand-out hotties at all.
I will tell you my #1 tip for getting the hottest girls though:
ALWAYS APPROACH THE HOTTEST GIRL!
I don't know what your approach habits are.
But over the years I have talked to a lot of guys who complain about only getting "6s, 7s, and 8s."
You talk to them and ask them how many super hot girls they approach and they will either tell you they never see these girls or they rarely go up to them because they don't get them.
If you never see them, then unless you are in a small town, it is probably due to the
selective attention bias after years of usually NOT approaching the hottest girls in various places (the street, nightclubs, etc.)... after a certain point the mind starts to filter them out and they become effectively "invisible":
When you first go somewhere new, it can seem like the best meet market you’ve found. Cute girls everywhere. But is this effect real or illusion? Remember when you first moved to town? Beautiful girls everywhere. Your new location was a visual feast: women with great bodies in sexy clothes...
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Either that or you just never leave the house, or only go to places men go to, or middle-aged women with families, or old people, or something
If you see them but rarely ever approach... well then, yeah, sure. Of course you're going to do better with less hot girls if most of the girls you approach are less hot.
You need to be approaching the hottest girls if you want to sleep with the hottest girls, get dates with the hottest girls, get comfortable with the hottest girls and know how to game the hottest girls. If you're not, you're simply not giving yourself the opportunities for those initial lucky strikes to occur that you need for that first 1-3 breakthrough super hottie cold approach lays/girlfriends.
Your luck surface area is the amount you expose of yourself for “lucky events” to happen. Men who open themselves up to more seductive luck enjoy more seductive “lucky breaks.” Luck plays a role in everything. In seduction, your passive attractiveness (fundamentals) and skill with women and the...
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If you want to get super hotties off of cold approach:
- You need to approach them in clubs. (you can warm-up and build preselection with other girls first. But keep in mind preselection works best when it is from a girl as hot or hotter than the girl you want! Get the super hotties responding well to you to get other super hotties in the venue intrigued)
- You need to approach them on the street. (just go up and approach)
- You need to approach them in shops, beaches, train stations, etc.
Don't do the thing where you see a really hot girl, then a more regular cute girl, then say, "I'll go talk to the cute girl because she's the higher odds play", and then you miss out on the really hot girl. If you see both at once and can only approach one,
ALWAYS APPROACH THE HOTTEST GIRL!
If you've been at this for 9 years, your game and fundamentals are probably good enough to get stunners off of cold approach if you are approaching them enough (unless you have really let yourself go at some point, acquired a bunch of rust, had long stretches in monogamous LTRs, etc.).
But you need to be making the approaches to do that, and not finding excuses to not approach these girls.
Which is what a lot of guys do.
I did it myself when I was younger and nervous.
I have seen lots of other guys do it when I've been out with them. Group of stunners next to a group of regular girls? I'll be like, "Oh yeah, those stunners are gonna be fun!" and then the guy I am with goes and opens the regular girls. And I'll be like, "WTF dude? Why???"
Has happened more times than I can count. Did he not see the stunners over there? Did he not notice them giving approach invitations? Why would you pick the regular girls over the stunners?
Sometimes I have even talked to guys about this afterwards and they will say, "Oh, I didn't even see those girls."
When the stunners were the ones shooting AIs and the regular girls were stuck in some girl-conversation with their circle all tightly closed up.
I have come to the conclusion most men do not even register the really hot girls around them most of the time due to being too intimidated to approach girls like this or having already mentally written them off as "not viable for me to approach."
You have to overcome this bias, and several others, to get these girls off cold approach.
Chase