How Much Should I "Kid Around"?

[NotJamesBond]

Alright so I'm planning this cafe thing me and this broad are doing for lunch and the original place I suggested isn't viable. Just doing cafes, going with Starbucks. I just said real quick "How bout we do McDonalds" then followed it up with a "Jk lol. Hows Starbucks at X in X" This was over FaceBook so the messages were quick.

Obviously it's a quick joke, but is even this small thing a bad move? Maybe it depends on the girl, she's pretty laid back. I figured it's just a throwaway joke so it doesn't matter but is there any stuff you just "don't" joke about no matter how seemingly insignificant it is? Bad taste and all that...

Also, I don't over-do this. It was just a once-off, it wasn't like I kept making jokes like this. I know that if you're an entertainer and not a leader you're not going to get far (reactions versus results). I just mean in this one single instance with no other jokes beside it. Seems fine to me...

Other question: if you have multiple dates in a week, can you do the same date (ice cream, the same cafe place) with the different girls? Obviously if they don't know each other but I'm in college and 2 of the 3 dates go to my school and it's pretty small. I already have the dates figured out but I was wondering what your two cents was.

P.S. I got three dates this week and just wanted to thank this community (especially Seppuku) for helping me get there. And they're with women I actually find attractive and would want to date lol
NJB

 

[headsup38]

I know in the seduction community, humor is a big turn-on that helps you get girls, but I'm not crazy about it. In college I kidded often and proclaimed to never take myself serious with girls and I think I hurt myself more than anything. For one thing most of my suitors at the school were from other countries who did not understand American humor. Also girls wouldn't take me seriously because I did not take myself seriously. Vince Vaughn imitators may look good in crowds because they stand out, but girls are more likely to view you as a joke not a lover. A lot of the guys that I saw the pretty girls fawn over didn't make goofy comments at all. If she likes you, she'll laugh at anything you say or do. I don't get the idea Derek Jeter cracks jokes very often. I see a guy who is smooth with the ladies and is confidant at who he is whether on the ball field or in a suit. I aspire to be more like that.
When in the presence of women, I'm generally serious. It gives girls more of an incentive to soften me up and they do. But I'm not falling for their flirting-bait-and-switch routine. It's about establishing the tone of the relationship.

As for your second question, I remember seeing more than one girl casually when I was in school. I went to Carl's Jr. on campus twice in one day with two different girls and hating the second time because I was getting sick of their food. It was more out of convenience and hardly planned at all. More like: "It's 5pm, wanna get something to eat before class?" This may not help answer your question but I'm just giving you an example of what I did.

 

[andersen09]

Alright so I'm planning this cafe thing me and this broad are doing for lunch and the original place I suggested isn't viable. Just doing cafes, going with Starbucks. I just said real quick "How bout we do McDonalds" then followed it up with a "Jk lol. Hows Starbucks at X in X" This was over FaceBook so the messages were quick.

Obviously it's a quick joke, but is even this small thing a bad move? Maybe it depends on the girl, she's pretty laid back. I figured it's just a throwaway joke so it doesn't matter but is there any stuff you just "don't" joke about no matter how seemingly insignificant it is? Bad taste and all that...

Also, I don't over-do this. It was just a once-off, it wasn't like I kept making jokes like this. I know that if you're an entertainer and not a leader you're not going to get far (reactions versus results). I just mean in this one single instance with no other jokes beside it. Seems fine to me...

Other question: if you have multiple dates in a week, can you do the same date (ice cream, the same cafe place) with the different girls? Obviously if they don't know each other but I'm in college and 2 of the 3 dates go to my school and it's pretty small. I already have the dates figured out but I was wondering what your two cents was.

P.S. I got three dates this week and just wanted to thank this community (especially Seppuku) for helping me get there. And they're with women I actually find attractive and would want to date lol
NJB

Jokes are only best used in two scenarios I can think of.

1. In the beginning - when you are a stranger with a girl and there's a little tension, and you crack a witty lines or a joke to have her laughing and become comfortable

Example, in my class we had a theater play named "Plays with Purpose" on the weekend, and I took that opportunity to joke with a girl next to me and said "Bieber Fever is around the corner" to which she laughed. And we started talking about music

2. CONTRAST after you portray something positive with a joke. It's a joke used to 'deny' your positive quality she KNOWS you have but acting like you actually possess the negative.

I have a girl who hangs out with me around my campus and ALL THE TIME I'm greeted by someone that's in my class or something. And she always tells me "You know every damn person in this campus" "Omg, how does everyone know you?"

Which I joke and say "i have no idea because I'm telling you, I'm extremely shy and anti-social" which she knows is false.

Other than that, jokes are for jokers and use it strategically. Most guys goof off and joke too much. Be different.

 

[Fuck This]

There is a difference between being witty, and being a wise ass. I have a friend who is extremely social, well spoken, knows everyone in the community, but always is making a joke, and laughing at his own wit. It gets wearing after a while. I think early on it is important to establish sincerity of thought and action, then zing 'em with a sly comment occasionally. You don't want to make a person doubt your sincerity as their first thought.

A good example of going too far with the humor is if someone automatically thinks you are joking and you have to explain....no you are serious... That is going to far.

There is a place for self deprecation. Usually when the other person is heaping praise on you.

 

[Bick]

I like using humor on girls, but there are certain pitfalls (I experienced them before ):

* Don't joke because you're nervous, girls pick up on that
* Don't joke just to demonstrate how hilarious you are, this also communicates you're nervous and girls will label you a clown and low value

I think that when you joke around women that you're interested in it should amplify their emotions about you and increase intrigue. Apart from making her laugh (which is good) you want to trigger additional inner responses in her like:

* Oh my god, did he really just say that?
* Wow, he threw that right back in my face

You'll have to make sure not to be rude and that the girl has a sense of humor though.