How to be discrete in social circle?

[LoverOfWomen]

I’ve received an email from Chase on Discretion.
He made some interesting points.

1) you have to be discrete if not the girl will reject you even if she likes you
(Don’t try to hit on her in front of her friends)

2) Avoid touch when within social circle


Take note: this is when in social circle and doesn’t apply when the guy has the same or more social value than the girl and it’s obvious there both heading towards long term courtship.


My questions:

1) Does Being discrete only apply when you are pursuing a girl for a casual or one time fling?

 

[Mike&Ikes]

It still applies so you’ll want to get her alone if she is with her friends, in any case that’s because discreetness is all about you keeping your reputation clean and not letting her look like a slut. You don’t want to look like a PUA and screw your chances with all the girls there, and you definitely don’t want it to happen by her deflecting your sexual advances in front of her friends because she’s more socially calibrated. Really it’s all about her feelings and social standing in the group, you cannot make her look bad in front of them. Now if you’re in a club, you don’t have to worry about this near as much because hitting on women is business as usual in a club.

 

[Noir]

It still applies so you’ll want to get her alone if she is with her friends, in any case that’s because discreetness is all about you keeping your reputation clean and not letting her look like a slut. You don’t want to look like a PUA and screw your chances with all the girls there, and you definitely don’t want it to happen by her deflecting your sexual advances in front of her friends because she’s more socially calibrated. Really it’s all about her feelings and social standing in the group, you cannot make her look bad in front of them. Now if you’re in a club, you don’t have to worry about this near as much because hitting on women is business as usual in a club.

Hey, I did ask a coworker out in the near vicinity of other coworkers during one of my shifts. Do you think that would affect her answer at all? Because after she rejected me, I may have nexted her hard and ignored her after that. I figured she just wanted an orbiter after that for validation or some shit, but if I blew my chances to lay her just because it was a wrong place wrong time sorta thing, that would kinda suck.

 

[ramshead]

Noir,

Don’t next her. You will make it clear that her rejection affected you and make you look weak. Treat her as normal and try again in a week or 2. I use nesting when the girl screams, disrespects me, raises her voice or any type of drama that I won’t put up with.

 

[Mike&Ikes]

When you asked her out Noir, she could of rejected you for these reasons, assuming she was attracted to you anyways: the way you asked her out, was it pretty smooth? Another reason is your social standing within that group, do your co-workers like you? Do they think you’re a cool socially calibrated guy? If you answered no to any of these questions, that’s probably why she rejected you. When you asked her out in front of everybody like that, she had to ask herself really only two questions- do I like this guy? & what will everybody think if I say yes/no.

And like Ramshead said, don’t next her.

Hopefully that clears things up,

-Micah

 

[Noir]

Noir,

Don’t next her. You will make it clear that her rejection affected you and make you look weak. Treat her as normal and try again in a week or 2. I use nesting when the girl screams, disrespects me, raises her voice or any type of drama that I won’t put up with.

Well, not necessarily. When I said I nexted her, I just meant I stopped giving her any form of attention. Wasn't being sore about it or anything, so it shouldn't come off as weak.

Besides, this is a numbers game lol and there is no way I'm spending weeks on a girl that I'm only half sure was flirting with me. That's a fast way to oneitis if I feel like I have to "work" on a girl to date her. Plus she pulled out the BF card, which may or may not be true since 90% of my coworkers talk about their bfs at work (and I know they aren't fronting because I've met some of them lol).

When you asked her out Noir, she could of rejected you for these reasons, assuming she was attracted to you anyways: the way you asked her out, was it pretty smooth? Another reason is your social standing within that group, do your co-workers like you? Do they think you’re a cool socially calibrated guy? If you answered no to any of these questions, that’s probably why she rejected you. When you asked her out in front of everybody like that, she had to ask herself really only two questions- do I like this guy? & what will everybody think if I say yes/no.

And like Ramshead said, don’t next her.

Hopefully that clears things up,

-Micah

Well, yeah me and my coworkers are on good terms and I'm friends with most of them. Not to mention my delivery was one of the best ones I had, so since she rejected me she must not have been very attracted to me in the first place or she really does have a boyfriend after all (which makes sense, I mean, she's an easy 8/10).

 

[BetaBoy]

Gotten with 2 female friends before, one was ok with it and the other had falling out. Unless your exclusive don’t be holding their hand. You can always hug for hi and bye though.

 

[ramshead]

Well, not necessarily. When I said I nexted her, I just meant I stopped giving her any form of attention. Wasn't being sore about it or anything, so it shouldn't come off as weak.

In a way you showed weakness, by not treating her the same before she rejected your invite a simple rejection made her noticed you changed around her, If you ask your best friend out and he says he cant. You dont ignore him, you treat him the same and say next time. By you ignoring her she definetely noticed you got butt hurt.

I use nexting all the time when a girl fucks up and they feel it by me ignoring. For example I got in an argument with a girl for getting another guys number at a bar when she was with me. I didnt get angry or show jealousy. I just said we are leaving. I accidently spilled beer on her pants from an open bottle that was in my car and she got mad and spilled the rest on my pants. I didnt say anything but that it was accident when i did it. She cursed and was screaming. I didnt say anything. So I dropped her off and left. Shes a coworker aswell. After 3 days of no contact. She texted me.

Her - Are you mad

I didnt reply and later on in the day she went to my desk and said are you mad at me. which i ignored her.

The next day after work she blew up my phone with phone calls every ten minutes and text saying she was sorry. I didnt answer or reply to any. The next day she calmed downed and the following day she texted me to give her a second chance which i didnt reply to either. I broke my silence on saturday afternoon. with a text

Me - WYD
Not even a minute passed by for a reply when in the past she would take 20 to 60 min to reply
Her - Nothing

Me - want to get some thing eat
her - Yes

I didnt bring up what happend. i acted like i had forgotten and she was completely submissive with goggly eyes. We fucked and she gave me the best blowjob ever to finish, she then told me shes never meet anyone like me and that shes never gone through something like that.

If you want to next a girl there has to be a good reason and you must have already had sex with the girl