So there's one thing I find really confusing. On this site they say you should talk about your passions to women as they see it as attractive. However they also say that you should talk as little as possible and be mysterious and get her to do all the talking? Isn't this a bit of a contradiction? How are you supposed to communicate to women how you're really passionate about X topic if you're supposed to talk as little as possible? This has got me really confused. Wouldn't it destroy all the mystery? And when talking about your passions how are you supposed to go about it? My best success with women has happened when I avoid my passions and interests as much as possible, and just focus on her. So how am I supposed to talk about my passions which makes her attracted? Also in the past my passions used to be all I talked about, I was literally obsessed, but it didnt get me very far with women and I actually had more success when they didn't even know I was really passionate about music, which is pretty sad to be honest. In fact, I don't think I told them much about myself, and probably made me come across as a guy with no identity. So how are you supposed to talk about your passions? I really want to talk about my passions but worried that it'll make me across as autistic as in the past I've talked about my passions obsessively but people have said that it makes me across as autistic so since then I've just shut up and learned not to talk about my passions. But now people say that talking about your passions makes you come across as more attractive to women? I'm confused...
The role of talking about your own passions and interests is stimulation, not information. The idea is to get her out of the headspace of information exchange (which most guys stick to on dates and it's lame) and into her senses and feelings. That means you want to talk in a way that conveys emotions and feelings, using evocative language, and keep it well away from facts, achievements, and specifics.
You can do that simply by asking her 101 questions but then it can come off as a bit one sided. So what you can do is use your own passions as a way to stir up her excitement and then turn reflect them back onto her own experiences.
Let's say you like sailing. Most dudes might say something like this.
HIM: "I'm a sailor. Not professional, well maybe not yet, just amateur. I go to the XYZ yacht club, do you know where that is..?"
HER: "..."
HIM: "Yeah we usually sail on the weekends and go out, sort of like a race, but nobody is really trying to win, it's more about enjoying yourself, know what I mean? Even though sometimes I treat it as a race, and sometimes I win!"
HER: "Cool"
HIM: "So whaddya like to do then, do you sail at all?"
That's lame. Lame information exchange to a passive audience, followed by a weak attempt to flip the conversation back.
Instead you can say something like:
HIM: "I love sailing, you know why?" smiling wistfully.
HER: "Why?"
HIM: "There's no feeling quite like it. When you're doing it right there's perfect harmony, the sails are filled with a strong breeze, the boat's leaning over hard, the rigging is super tight - sometimes you can even hear it humming like a guitar string - and you stand there at the helm and listen to the sound of water racing underneath, making little adjustments here and there to keep everything right at the edge without losing control. You're relaxed, but alert to even the slightest change, paying attention to the smallest things. It's like meditating with your eyes open. Have you ever done that?"
Her: "Wow .. what, sailed? Or meditated?"
HIM: "Yes .. what gives you that feeling?" <strong eye contact>
<She starts thinking about all the feelings you just spoke about and what gives them to her>
This is way better. It's evocative, colorful language, vaguely sexual, and has nothing whatsoever to do with facts, figures, and trying to impress her with any achievements. What it does tell her is that when she's with you, things are likely to be very fun and exciting, and makes her start thinking about and desiring all kinds of fun and exciting things.
How would you do that with music?
