How to deal with an influential "friend" sleeping with your ex?

[trashKENNUT]

The way I look at it, this is one of those things that needs some internal management rather than emotion.

Once a girl is your ex, especially if the relationship went for some time, it's hard to be completely cool with seeing her with someone else.

But on the other hand, if she's not yours, she's someone else's, that's just a fact of life. Would you rather she was with someone you disliked?

Remember that back in the day, men gave their daughters to other men to improve the bonds of friendship. If a man can give his daughter to a friend knowing he's going to bang her, is it really that bad letting a friend have your ex?

If the guy is useful enough to have in your life, I don't think ex-pussy is worth throwing it away for. Just think of it as him getting your sloppy seconds.

...

I had a somewhat similar situation. I had a car and after the breakup I let my ex drive it around for a while since I didn't have a place to keep it (not a great idea but anyways). So someone rammed it and the insurance company took it to the wrecking yard etc etc. Long story short her new bf came to get her belongings, but I was going to check the damage at the same time. My ex almost lost it trying to recoordinate things but we ended up there at the same time. He was nervous af, I was a bit annoyed but mainly about the car. But we got along ok, he offered me a lift back, and all seemed well.

A few weeks later they broke up because he could not pass her shit tests, but that's another story.

Anyway, thing is, I was over her so I was like well ok, I'm not going to pretend to be pleased to meet him, but it is what it is.

I think he had far more to worry about from me (and it might have been part of why they broke up) because I knew that he knew that I'd gone the whole nine yards with her, and he was struggling at the starting line.

I can't believe how this guy writes like Chase.

@Chase , is this you?

Important Caveat.
This is super deceitful. Chase has mentioned to handle this manipulation before.

There will be times where guys will pick a fight with you. This can be from her male friends in a social circle, or her female friends who are jealous.

Even if you don't sincerely try to antagonize the group. And really try to manage egos.

They will pick a fight and make you the enemy and on surface level, this seems like a legitimate problem because they are bringing "logic" in and the public, the arena will be blindsided by this. Everyone will see you as an enemy. Especially if the person has power.

I call this 'Manipulation of the 21th Century'.

You have to stop, be calm as possible, asses the situation. And make him as the enemy by making it look like it's a no big deal.

Manipulative eh?

So yea..... [SIDENOTE]

Guys will share wealth, knowledge, power. BUT As long as you are a subordinate to them. We have to be careful about this.

Nothing is free in this world.

As men, as a father someday, as a brother, as a husband maybe, as a boyfriend, as a boss or as a human being, We owe this responsibility to do "right" by our subordinates, children, women to try to let them go. We must do it.

A simple example on the Girlschase forum:

Zac might look like a guy who wants some GC members to always be under his light because they took his advice, even though he might not intend it to be so. On one hand, you don't have power to confront. On the other hand, you don't know if he is doing it for power or unconsciousness.

You can only assess the situation. And see the guys self awareness.

All Men..... think that they will go to Heaven, until this is one of those few posts that reveals everything.

z@c+

 

[Will_V]

I can't believe how this guy writes like Chase.

@Chase , is this you?

Important Caveat.
This is super deceitful. Chase has mentioned to handle this manipulation before.

There will be times where guys will pick a fight with you. This can be from her male friends in a social circle, or her female friends who are jealous.

Even if you don't sincerely try to antagonize the group. And really try to manage egos.

They will pick a fight and make you the enemy and on surface level, this seems like a legitimate problem because they are bringing "logic" in and the public, the arena will be blindsided by this. Everyone will see you as an enemy. Especially if the person has power.

I call this 'Manipulation of the 21th Century'.

You have to stop, be calm as possible, asses the situation. And make him as the enemy by making it look like it's a no big deal.

Manipulative eh?

So yea..... [SIDENOTE]

Guys will share wealth, knowledge, power. BUT As long as you are a subordinate to them. We have to be careful about this.

Nothing is free in this world.

As men, as a father someday, as a brother, as a husband maybe, as a boyfriend, as a boss or as a human being, We owe this responsibility to do "right" by our subordinates, children, women to try to let them go. We must do it.

A simple example on the Girlschase forum:

Zac might look like a guy who wants some GC members to always be under his light because they took his advice, even though he might not intend it to be so. On one hand, you don't have power to confront. On the other hand, you don't know if he is doing it for power or unconsciousness.

You can only assess the situation. And see the guys self awareness.

All Men..... think that they will go to Heaven, until this is one of those few posts that reveals everything.

z@c+

Haha we might have a similar way of looking at things. I've learned a ton from girls chase though, Chase is way more knowledgeable than I am when it comes to women, and especially the in-depth articles have changed my life. But the thing is that I don't just read stuff, I apply it all the time, and internalize it when it works.

 

[trashKENNUT]

@Chase , how do I upload pictures directly here? I need to meme some guys here. HAHA

z@c+

 

[Skills]

Again I will explain the situation cause is not about ex or better things to worry about and slap in the face is about a FRIENDSHIP BOUNDARY AND MUTUAL RESPECT:

Op has a friend, not close but a friend

op does not give a shit and is over the ex (this is not the problem, is not jealousy is not him not being not over the ex, he does not care about ex)

friend is dating the ex and is acting like nothing happen.... To op is not cool that the so called friend, respectfully did not address it and just ignore the situation like nothing happen...

If i am going to date my friend "ex", i personally would have a talk with my friend, that is actually what a real man and friend does....... But that is me..... (if i am going to fuck her ex and nobody knows and i am not dating her that is another story)....

The op problem is about friendship and respect... He feels disrespected by his friend not coming to him and addressing it... "hey winston listen i mean not disrespect but since you are broken up, i am dating your ex, i mean not disrespect and it was not plan it just happen" it just common friendship courstesy...

 

[Winston]

Indeed, he makes it really difficult for me, almost impossible, to keep acting as before with him.

I really would like to, because he has many qualities, but he pushes things so far by not addressing this topic directly with me, that I cannot keep acting as usual, and it probably demonstrates that he never really cared much about me.

On Friday, I met a common friend of ours. This friend told me that before coming he was worried that he had to tell me the news (but I already knew the news through other people). So the ex friend sent my friend a text before we meet: "I will send Winston a message so you don't have to announce it to him, you will only have to handle his questions".

It turns out I am still waiting this message, and I don't think the formulation of his text to my friend demonstrate much respect toward me.

Also, this is possible he is now considering me as a threat regarding his new girl.
In all cases, our relationship is now a very shitty one.

 

[trashKENNUT]

The op problem is about friendship and respect... He feels disrespected by his friend not coming to him and addressing it... "hey winston listen i mean not disrespect but since you are broken up, i am dating your ex, i mean not disrespect and it was not plan it just happen" it just common friendship courstesy...

Why should he speak to Winston?

He's not a close friend. And he certainly has more power and money than him.

Is Winston a 'big fish' in the social circle? If he is not, and he is clearly not talking to her, why is Winston a big deal?

.........

Now, putting aside the asshole-y modus operandi that I just displayed above for example,

This is a lot of men, and how they operate.

Sidenote:

We are now in a society where we all follow our own laws and definitions. Fortunately, Girlschase is still a place where my head is still intact. We can navigate each other and try to understand.

I'm sorry I have to repeat this. Girlschase need to start teaching how to handle living in such adversarial society. Or else, we will not win. This is my opinion. My hands are off. Chase responded in my journal about my concern. I understand. I appreciate he took the time because it boils me.

Funny how females hate men on TikTok once they meet men with just an asshole behavior as them.

z@c+

 

[ulrich]

I'm sorry I have to repeat this. Girlschase need to start teaching how to handle living in such adversarial society.

This is funny.

I actually followed Chase advice of getting away from the glowing screens… deleted Facebook and Instagram apps from my phone and stopped reading news.
Never in my life have I felt this much that society is NOT adversarial as now.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Never in my life have I felt this much that society is NOT adversarial as now.

Errrr

The wORLd is not YOU?

Don't mistake the messenger with the message. Don't mistake the vehicle with the label and the reality.

Everyone still needs to take the vaccine, No?

No? Vaccine no more?
Lockdown is not real?
Lockdown isn't real?
I actually visualize children in Africa got some whipped potatoes. Damn it they only got some potatoes.
And The lockdown is still real

Ok whatever. Forget the comment above.

Are we gonna pretend that the guy obviously doesn't care/unconscious to acknowledge that he is dating Winston's ex?

I mean who the fuck is Winston, right?

So are we gonna pretend that the world is not adversarial, that the internet doesn't exist or this is the game that we play?

where one deny one person's reality. Maybe I create a false bubble that only I know is false. Maybe it's a game of circus where the ones who come out with flashy cars or flashy lines or flashy comebacks are the ones that win.

Because I'm pretty sure that everyone in this forum can play that. Who has the bigger hammer.

Instead of building people up for more adversarial battles ahead, we should play that game of chicken with each other.

Like who the fuck is Winston?

You are right though.
Winston should suck it up.

You are right though. Winston should suck it up.

z@c+