Health How to maintain drive/desire for fitness?

[POB]

Soon to be 42, been lifting sinceI was 15.

I'm 1,86m (6'1"), 96kg (211lbs) and below 15% BF my whole life.
I don't trade my life in the gym for nothing else in this world.

Women, friends, money, everything comes and goes....but being able to phisicaly peak and know you are always presenting your very best version, that's priceless. It was this process that has always kept me going despite the ups and downs of life. Everybody needs an anchor...this is mine.

 

[Fuck This]

So recently my interest in the gym is plummeting somewhat now that nyc loosened their restrictions and capacity requirements gym is accessible without requiring reservations. Reservations is what would make me more likely to commit to go,but sometimes I would not show up anyways.

Main reason for decreased motivation to go to gym is i've just heard of several guys from here and coaches irl who have have dad bods,guts, skinny ,flabby etc but still pull baddies cuz their game is that good that their lack of a fit muscular physique doesn't effect them with women.

Obviously i'm not there yet so I don't have the ability to pull that off at my current level ,but i'm still less motivated to go workout. What's the point of working out if it won't make you more confident with women or affect results? There are more crucial fundamentals to work on like eye contact,vocal tonality. I'm in decent shape not super buff or shredded,but i've slimmed down and am pretty toned with some muscle,I even have some visible abs. Either way it's not like having bigger arms or a tight midsection or makes more women pay attention to me . At least not the women i'd want or were aware of. I think in the rank of fundamentals from One Date muscle/body is in the middle to least.

What do you use as fuel to go to gym and what keeps you going if its not belief that it can help attract women in long run? Workout for the sake of staying healthy,strong, feeling good and building testosterone?

Have something to train for that requires fitness.. Sign up for a race in 3 months to train for , book a multi day backcountry hiking trip. Reserve a beach vacation you want to look good for, etc. Gotta have a REASON for the GOAL.

 

[Lover]

Everybody needs an anchor

Or an abundance of anchors.
If you lose your only anchor, it may become a big deal because you will have to look for new ones. But have many at your disposal, and losing just one may not be such a big deal.

 

[Water]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's taking a break from forums at the moment, lol. Long story.

I showed him about you on skype but he doesn't check that. I know he's taking a break from forums. I'll e-mail him now. That's so fucking awesome. Your posts have changed my life.
Your "Let Go and Free Yourself" post has helped me through the most painful experiences of my life. May I post it here?

 

[Vision]

I showed him about you on skype but he doesn't check that. I know he's taking a break from forums. I'll e-mail him now.

Yeah, he's almost off grid completely right now.

That's so fucking awesome. Your posts have changed my life.
Your "Let Go and Free Yourself" post has helped me through the most painful experiences of my life. May I post it here?

Of course. You're welcome to post it. I'm glad it helped you.

 

[Water]

Will do! Gotta find it! Do you have a collection of your own posts or the 07 lounge posts?

 

[Vision]

Will do! Gotta find it! Do you have a collection of your own posts or the 07 lounge posts?

Yeah, Karea sent it to me... I haven't gone through all of them yet but I probably should.

 

[DarkKnight]

This is the typical issue of the guy who has never been really in shape. Because if you were the rewards wouldnt have to be spelled out for you, you would feel the difference in your daily life as day and night. You would be self motivating.

My recommendation is get over that hill, get reaaaallly fit, see for yourself what it brings to you and then lets see if you have to post these questions. And get fit doesnt mean train yourself, this almost never works. You need someone to push you so you get a proper feeling what training is. It is so ironic how a lot of people in the weight rooms look like shit and in the MMA gym everyone looks like a model.

I have been a bit chubby during lockdown, which I have lost right now... and the way women stare, look at you in a predatory way at times.. it makes a lot of difference.

 

[POB]

Or an abundance of anchors.
If you lose your only anchor, it may become a big deal because you will have to look for new ones. But have many at your disposal, and losing just one may not be such a big deal.

Mmmmmm why would you need more than one?
If for some reason you are not able to do it (injuries/desease), just temporarily plug in something like a hobby to replace it...but get back as soon as possible! You never loose anchors, you just give them time when needed.

 

[POB]

And get fit doesnt mean train yourself, this almost never works. You need someone to push you so you get a proper feeling what training is. It is so ironic how a lot of people in the weight rooms look like shit and in the MMA gym everyone looks like a model.

Everybody needs help from those who are already accomplished in the field. The big difference is intention. What's your intention when you train? You may use women as motivation, but once you are there...it's all on you. This is generally where people fail, because motivation comes and goes but intention stays forever (shit, half the time I don't wanna go to the gym myself.....but once I'm there, I fucking crush it).

Also not getting together with wise people to guide you through the process is a no no.

 

[trashKENNUT]

What do you use as fuel to go to gym and what keeps you going if its not belief that it can help attract women in long run? Workout for the sake of staying healthy,strong, feeling good and building testosterone?

I'm not sure if the term muscle memory is correct, but i stretch out a lot more recently. It makes me feel like i can survive.

z@c+

 

[Lover]

Mmmmmm why would you need more than one?
If for some reason you are not able to do it (injuries/desease), just temporarily plug in something like a hobby to replace it...but get back as soon as possible! You never loose anchors, you just give them time when needed.

I guess I have seen enough people, myself included, get to the bottom of a pit with one anchor that was away for a while, even if our rational minds knew we would be back eventually. So I'm trying to have a couple... But never tried replacing one yet.

 

[Water]

This is the typical issue of the guy who has never been really in shape. Because if you were the rewards wouldnt have to be spelled out for you, you would feel the difference in your daily life as day and night. You would be self motivating.

My recommendation is get over that hill, get reaaaallly fit, see for yourself what it brings to you and then lets see if you have to post these questions. And get fit doesnt mean train yourself, this almost never works. You need someone to push you so you get a proper feeling what training is. It is so ironic how a lot of people in the weight rooms look like shit and in the MMA gym everyone looks like a model.

I have been a bit chubby during lockdown, which I have lost right now... and the way women stare, look at you in a predatory way at times.. it makes a lot of difference.

I'm going to revive this because I was in amazing shape for years, and now I am not but plan to be again. It seemed impossible to get out of shape back then and to lose my motivation which was so abundant, I honestly wouldn't have believed it. I remember thinking to myself a hypothetical scenario, would I accept a million dollars or go 1 year without the gym? I would have decline the million dollars, literally. Yet, now, I'm in the worst shape of my life (not for long). (Benching 5 lbs under double my body weight, working out 14 hours a week, not slacking off, consistently healthy and timed meals, etc. Writing to partially brag but also motivate myself, as I haven't looked at a shirtless picture of myself in a while).

There's a lot of ways to get leverage, but when your motivation is low, you need to utilize more than usual. Back then, just music or making myself show up at the gym worked. (Going to be honest, I never listened to music in the gym or while working out outside of my house, I felt I wasn't working as hard as I could with it)

Some motivation tricks I learned:

1. Buying a new set of work out clothes and shoes. I like fashion so this always helps.

2. Pictures of really hot FITNESS MODEL women. (Not in a pornographic manner)

3. Videos of really hot fitness model women working out.

4. Motivational talks or videos. Believe by Mateusz M.

5. Music can get me going, I'll just link personal ones. Unashamed by Confidential Music. (Action Movie Instrumental)
(My music did hit hard on the drive to the gym, my car has two 12" subwoofers, I'm not in the same state as it though)

6. Routine! Have a TO DO LIST. I have literally logged every gym work out I've ever done since I turned 20.

7. Vision Board. Pictures of ripped guys with bodies you want. Zyzz was a huge inspiration for me.

 

[Water]

This is the typical issue of the guy who has never been really in shape. Because if you were the rewards wouldnt have to be spelled out for you, you would feel the difference in your daily life as day and night. You would be self motivating.

My recommendation is get over that hill, get reaaaallly fit, see for yourself what it brings to you and then lets see if you have to post these questions. And get fit doesnt mean train yourself, this almost never works. You need someone to push you so you get a proper feeling what training is. It is so ironic how a lot of people in the weight rooms look like shit and in the MMA gym everyone looks like a model.

I have been a bit chubby during lockdown, which I have lost right now... and the way women stare, look at you in a predatory way at times.. it makes a lot of difference.

How old are you and how is MMA? I haven't done martial arts since I was like 22, and feel I might be too old, but it was so enjoyable and fucking exhilarating. I miss it and know it would motivate me. I used to train with people who went on to become cage fighters. That's one of my regrets, not becoming one. Even if I got my ass kicked, who cares? Maybe it's not too late? And even if it is... Hopefully, I can still do it?..