How to make yourself feel sexy?

[Roundy]

Lately I’ve noticed a disconnect in how others treat me, vs my self image.

I wonder if it’s related to consciously improving my body language and my lizard brain not adapting as quickly.

Essentially, even though on the outside I have a sexual way of expressing myself, good posture, sexy walk, I have trouble viewing myself as a “sexy” person a lot of the time. The disconnect is that women still compliment me on my sexieness, call me hot, good looking, but all that’s on my mind is that I’m pale and developing a belly haha.

Mastery over fundamentals means that the body language is a natural expression of how you feel. So I wonder how you blokes get into that headspace of knowing you’re a sexy, hot, delicious man.

I’ll offer the value I have on the subject. Here’s an NLP trick I used when I was younger:
1. Pick 5 of your best memories of feeling confident and sexy.
2. Picture the first memory while pursing your lips and blowing air out.
3. Repeat this 5 times, strongly visualising the memory and the associated sparklers of confidence.
4. Do the same for the other memories you’ve chosen.
5. Congrats, you’ve now tied the feeling of confidence and sexiness to blowing air through pursed lips, you can activate it on command in moments where you need by pursing your lips and pushing air through.

I did this exercise a decade ago, and I still get a rush of self-confidence when I blow air through my pursed lips - works like a charm.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Mastery over fundamentals means that the body language is a natural expression of how you feel.

Well put!

Yeah that's a bit of a sticking point of mine too lately, I walk around feeling very unattractive until I get validation from a girl and then it flips in my head.

Not good to be externally dependent for state. I used to have this down where I was able to control it internally and wrote about it on the blog.

OneTab - Shared tabs

www.one-tab.com

Hard for me to do now while I'm in bad health but the drills still help.

 

[TestY]

Maxwell Maltz did tackle this kind of issue in his classic "Psycho-Cybernetics":

As a reconstructive plastic surgeon, Dr. Maltz realized that although “plastic surgery” benefited 0.5% of the population, the other 99.5% had unresolved emotional scars from the past, and that these could be removed by changing your self-image. Once these internal scars were irradiated, what followed was a life of success and happiness with you reaching “the greatest port in the world: peace of mind.”

The approach is also explained by the GirlsChase guys.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

This is one of my all-time favorite inner game and personal growth products. I recommend you get the version by Dan Kennedy on Audible:

https://www.audible.com/pd/The-New-Psycho-Cybernetics-Audiobook/B00NMVPLYE

 

[Will_V]

Lately I’ve noticed a disconnect in how others treat me, vs my self image.

I wonder if it’s related to consciously improving my body language and my lizard brain not adapting as quickly.

Essentially, even though on the outside I have a sexual way of expressing myself, good posture, sexy walk, I have trouble viewing myself as a “sexy” person a lot of the time. The disconnect is that women still compliment me on my sexieness, call me hot, good looking, but all that’s on my mind is that I’m pale and developing a belly haha.

Mastery over fundamentals means that the body language is a natural expression of how you feel. So I wonder how you blokes get into that headspace of knowing you’re a sexy, hot, delicious man.

I’ll offer the value I have on the subject. Here’s an NLP trick I used when I was younger:
1. Pick 5 of your best memories of feeling confident and sexy.
2. Picture the first memory while pursing your lips and blowing air out.
3. Repeat this 5 times, strongly visualising the memory and the associated sparklers of confidence.
4. Do the same for the other memories you’ve chosen.
5. Congrats, you’ve now tied the feeling of confidence and sexiness to blowing air through pursed lips, you can activate it on command in moments where you need by pursing your lips and pushing air through.

I did this exercise a decade ago, and I still get a rush of self-confidence when I blow air through my pursed lips - works like a charm.

Something that helps to make me feel sexy is doing masculine things I enjoy. Sailing or camping are the main ones, after a couple of days out there I have a much stronger vibe, a good tan, and a strong sense of self reliance. Sometimes if I let things get too boring and routine in my life I start to feel annoyed with what I am regardless of how I make myself look.

What works anytime to pull everything together mentally for me is making substantial progress toward a chosen goal. That is really where I get most of my identity from, it's hard to feel bad or confused about anything when your immediate reality is the effects of your actions.