Special Girl How to move on when you still see her everyday

[Spyce D]

Basically, I got oneities on a girl that I initially felt that would result in lay ( cuz of how we were vibing , like she playing romantic songs when we both were listening to music via earphones ) but for some reason ... Shit happened right at the peak of things .

Now , even though things are normal and I might still try to lay her but I also want to able to move on if things don't go my way .

But , cuz we both study in the same institute ( it's quite small like 50-70 students) so , I would still be meeting her everyday . ( Still do ) .

By the way ,.she actually helped me to realise the major flaws in my seduction skills and myself . So , thank you 'K' .

 

[Rakehell]

Living an active lifestyle where you’re meeting new girls, and working toward the things you want to accomplish.

Heavy emphasis on meeting different girls and bringing them into your life.

Oneitis before you’ve done anything is alot different from oneitis for a girl you’ve already slept with.

Oneitis for a girl you haven’t done anything with stems from idealizing her traits and fantasizing about what it’d be like to get with her.

A lack of closure over the situation due to not leading it forward strongly enough and getting a definitive answer over whether or not things will lead anywhere (not being rejected officially).

In addition to not having concrete options with other girls you can direct your attention toward. A lack of prospects that you are “dating”.

It leads to a lot of rumination and fantasizing over something that isn’t based in objective reality.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Now , even though things are normal and I might still try to lay her but I also want to able to move on if things don't go my way .

You should be outcome independent with every girl you meet.

If you are totally done with her but are still stuck trying to move things forward even when things don't seem to be going anywhere, then let her go this way.

On girls you've dropped but still keep running into ,you can be aloof with them.Feel free to greet them when you cross paths or greet them back when they greet you ...don't harbor bitter feelings just because it didn't go anywhere.

Basically ''leave'' them gracefully but invest zero energy in moving things further with them like Chase puts it in the article I linked above.

This will also help on that note.

Anyways, you can always persist and see if you can turn things around.Sometimes things work out .Sometimes they don't.Don't worry about that ...you'll be learning in the process of what times to persist and when not to.It comes with time.

Chad Tyrone

 

[Spyce D]

Oneitis for a girl you haven’t done anything with stems from idealizing her traits and fantasizing about what it’d be like to get with her.

Yes . She had been really sweet to me and actually helped me in clearing the exam . So , how could my heart resist .

lack of closure over the situation due to not leading it forward strongly enough and getting a definitive answer over whether or not things will lead anywhere (not being rejected officially).

Yeah . As , I only worked on my social circle since September ( never had one before) so ... I was very cautious while navigating the waters ... And that lead me to not lead the women ... I wanted .... Strongly .

Like , I would make implicit remarks , do kino and stuff but it all meant nothing cuz I never cleared my intentions . .

 

[Spyce D]

Basically ''leave'' them gracefully but invest zero energy in moving things further with them like Chase puts it in the article I linked above.

This will also help on that note.

1. If she’s awkward around you but it isn’t malicious, just be neutral. Do not go out of your way to engage her in conversation. Don’t try to be friendly. Don’t be a pal. Just give her a smile and a nod and some bare minimum conversation, and move on. Don’t ask her anything other than the smallest of small talk: how’s your day going, how’s that ankle you injured, you ace that test? Keep it to one question maximum (or none at all), and keep your questions short. She should have the distinct feel just from talking to you that you’ve pushed her to the side and aren’t much dealing with her, even if you aren’t outright hostile with her. She’s just kind of a non-factor to you.

It seems like I did the right thing till 11th December . Talking about the above snippet from @Chase .

She was being a bit awkward or say a fake polite around me ... And sometimes would just stare at me ( even though, she used to have a big smile ...when she saw me ... Generally) but she wasn't like that with her friends, tho. ( So ,.it all being due to exams doesn't seem well withe) .

But ,.after the exams ... Magically... She herself has been initiating conversations . Hell ! Even texted me asking about my result and so.

When you're meeting new women, the mentality you want is not, "How do I get this girl?" but rather, "Let's see if this girl is one that I get." This removes a lot of pressure and allows you to behave much more naturally around her.

This is a much better mindset to have in this situation. Cuz , we both are in same class now .

And , mind you ... I do have preselection ... ( But ,.she is yet to see it ) So , it's not like I am only talking to one chick ( cuz I am not ) ... Its just more about how she made me feel ( wrote like a total simp ) .

 

[theReason]

By the way ,.she actually helped me to realise the major flaws in my seduction skills and myself . So , thank you 'K' .

Just focus on this benefit, because it is a real benefit.

Where necessary (if she is exceptionally warm, or exceptionally hostile, for instance), pour some sexual energy into your interactions with her, and she will give you positive vibes in return.

Orbiter status is not as good as sex, but it’s infinitely better than being on a woman’s bad side.

But you should be looking to other women for your sexual needs.

 

[Spyce D]

she is exceptionally warm,

She is

 

[theReason]

Yeah, when she is exhibiting exceptionally warm behavior around you, feel free to pour some sexual energy into the interaction (I explain what I mean by that here) and enjoy the good vibes she gives you in return.

But don’t expect to have sex with this girl. Find other girls for sex.

And when she’s being cold to you, follow Chase’s protocol.

 

[YS.]

Living an active lifestyle where you’re meeting new girls, and working toward the things you want to accomplish.

Heavy emphasis on meeting different girls and bringing them into your life.

Oneitis before you’ve done anything is alot different from oneitis for a girl you’ve already slept with.

Oneitis for a girl you haven’t done anything with stems from idealizing her traits and fantasizing about what it’d be like to get with her.

A lack of closure over the situation due to not leading it forward strongly enough and getting a definitive answer over whether or not things will lead anywhere (not being rejected officially).

In addition to not having concrete options with other girls you can direct your attention toward. A lack of prospects that you are “dating”.

It leads to a lot of rumination and fantasizing over something that isn’t based in objective reality.

This is an incredible post.

 

[Rakehell]

Yeah . As , I only worked on my social circle since September ( never had one before) so ... I was very cautious while navigating the waters ... And that lead me to not lead the women ... I wanted .... Strongly .

My experience with social circle has taught me that yes, you don’t want to rock the boat too much and do things that’d look bad on you.

But the fear of reputation damage is a bit overblown and most of the time the things you do won’t have any effect in a long standing negative way, as long as you are not doing anything very uncalibrated.

Flirting, kino, conversation, etc, all help in the moment but don’t do much in terms of solidifying the kinds of relationships that you want.

You will remember these tactics because it is you deliberately doing them to get something that you want. But for her they will just feel good in the moment and become forgotten if not translated into a long standing impression or memory of you (taking her out, having her do things with you outside of that).

Think of it like eating a snack or candy versus a meal at a restaurant. You may not be able to remember a snack you ate last monday, but if you went to a restaurant you can vividly remember what you ordered.

Feeding her candy in the beginning may cause her to idealize the situation and fantasize in the same way as you. Because these actions have the potential to lead somewhere.

But if it does not lead anywhere (something that you have to proactively do), she will forget all the candy you are feeding her within time because she will stop associating it with it leading to something.

Some girls you can feed candy and they will have oneitis in the same way as you for an extended period of time, but this goes away when they are fed a meal by someone else.

Being in a seducers mindset (deploying tactics to overcome obstacles), causes us to remember and put more emphasis on small actions.

But these actions are not remembered as strongly, if at all, by the ones we use these tactics on. The feelings they get from your tactics have to be solidified by events (i.e asking them out, getting their number, taking them out, sleeping with them).

 

[Spyce D]

Just want to give a summary what happened today . I have been posting whatsapp stories for the past few days of photos I clicked .

She replied on this kittens story saying " can you send me this photo "

I replied "Sorry , we are closed right now . You may contact us on Monday ." ( It meant as a complete joke , we both are students)

She : On what occasion are you closed? ( Playing along with it )

Me : Not sure , if you know but it goes by ' Valentine's day ' .

( This idel about valentine's day was suggested by a friend of mine and as I didn't know how to answer ... So I went along with it )

And then she just left it on read.

Maybe , i came accross too strong ( or too weak ) .. too soon .... Or it's just that chick is weird . I mean by how she replied, I took it as a hint to flirt and after my friends advice , i sent that .

 

[Spyce D]

For the first time in my life , I got rid of my oneities while still running into a girl . Going out and meeting high quality chicks helped .

And this brought me to a realisation, what if I didn't overthink? What if I didn't get oneities?.

I can't become better at pua , seduction if I can't control my emotions .

I can't get a girl with whom I got oneities simply cuz I won't be willing to take risks with her and will be all in my head ...being polite ....that drowns me to friendzone . Not cuz a girl is playing games.

 

[Spyce D]

Ok so here is the update.

Initially , she ignored me ( but never if we would cross paths ) ...then started making small talk ... Then started sitting with me .

But I had made myself emotionally distant from her so I would not engage much with her.

And 10 days back , i completely sent her into auto rejection... By leaving her mid convo.

So , she completely ignores me now .

I am not complaining cuz that's what I wanted a bit cuz i can't just be friends with her .

And my emotions have cooled off completely for her. You can say that I went into auto rejection back in January.

She went into auto rejection last week.

 

[ElChe]

Hrmm comrade just my thoughts but from your analyzing each interaction it seems your oneitis is growing.

One thing for sure-- one NEVER gets with the girl one has oneitis for (if they haven't slept with her). Chase emphasized this in his "can't stop thinking about her" article. I think every member on this forum would agree.

The reason is because the FEELING of being the man who gets with her is fundamentally different from the feeling of oneitis.
Oneitis is this fantasy feeling where you almost want to NOT get with her because you enjoy the feeling of wanting her.

Also, oneitis and the interactions with the girl don't mean anything about you. You said this girl helped you realize your flaws in seduction-- nah bro, respectfully, fuck that lmao she didn't do shit for you. YOU made the improvements.

The truth is:
- there are many girls out there who are more attractive than her in every way, and who you could get with
- not only that, there are many girls who could make you FEEL like this girl does (probably make you feel even better!)


And the two broad paths you could take:

1. Continue to invest in this girl, running "unique game" on her that is different from your usual process, which will trick your brain into thinking she's special, then oneitis gets worse (very unpleasant feelings may ensue)

2. Take all your energy away from this girl, stay in love with seducing and appreciating other women, feel happier and more focused and awesomer (very pleasant feelings ensue)

It's your choice comrade

 

[Spyce D]

Hrmm comrade just my thoughts but from your analyzing each interaction it seems your oneitis is growing.

One thing for sure-- one NEVER gets with the girl one has oneitis for (if they haven't slept with her). Chase emphasized this in his "can't stop thinking about her" article. I think every member on this forum would agree.

The reason is because the FEELING of being the man who gets with her is fundamentally different from the feeling of oneitis.
Oneitis is this fantasy feeling where you almost want to NOT get with her because you enjoy the feeling of wanting her.

Also, oneitis and the interactions with the girl don't mean anything about you. You said this girl helped you realize your flaws in seduction-- nah bro, respectfully, fuck that lmao she didn't do shit for you. YOU made the improvements.

The truth is:
- there are many girls out there who are more attractive than her in every way, and who you could get with
- not only that, there are many girls who could make you FEEL like this girl does (probably make you feel even better!)


And the two broad paths you could take:

1. Continue to invest in this girl, running "unique game" on her that is different from your usual process, which will trick your brain into thinking she's special, then oneitis gets worse (very unpleasant feelings may ensue)

2. Take all your energy away from this girl, stay in love with seducing and appreciating other women, feel happier and more focused and awesomer (very pleasant feelings ensue)

It's your choice comrade

I don't think my oneities is growing cuz she will leave in a few weeks and I have gamed a bit in these past few months . Which made me more balanced .



I just see this as a learning point and a unique experience cuz I have never in my life been active in a social circle ( unlike day game ) so things felt novel and heavily impacted me at that time cuz I had basically left other chicks to spend more time with her . How stupid I was.




Anyways , thanks for your advice .

You said this girl helped you realize your flaws in seduction-- nah bro, respectfully, fuck that lmao she didn't do shit for you. YOU made the improvements.

Maybe I am being a bit too selfless. Got to change that too.

Anyways, that is the last time I will ever post my oneities ( not just related to her but any girl in future)

 

[Spyce D]

The truth is:
- there are many girls out there who are more attractive than her in every way, and who you could get with
- not only that, there are many girls who could make you FEEL like this girl does (probably make you feel even better!)

This is the reason I was able to relax .

Only thing was that I am new to social circle dynamics so had no idea that chicks would still talk to you even after rejecting you .

Majority of my female interactions have come from daygame. So I was clueless for a while about what's happening. During that time , I had oneities.

 

[ElChe]

I just see this as a learning point and a unique experience cuz I have never in my life been active in a social circle ( unlike day game ) so things felt novel and heavily impacted me at that time cuz I had basically left other chicks to spend more time with her . How stupid I was.

Yeah I feel that, the newness factor always gives things more weight.

But nah I mean, nothing wrong with posting about it imo, and those were just my thoughts and observations which may not be true.