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How to open indirect in street game

Kvothe

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This is based off a conversation from earlier that left me with some additional questions.

Note: this is more of a beginner-intermediate to intermediate question, since pure beginners will benefit from doing direct day game just to get rid of approach anxiety and to start getting numbers and dates.

One thing I think can be agreed on is that by making an approach direct, you’ve shifted the frame to be of you chasing, which is bad. As a result we have to make up for this. From what I understand, we do this through making the girl invest-compliance, deep diving; and by making her aroused-sex talk, sexual frames; and other reframing tactics: chase frames, etc.

I understand this, and try to never open direct when I got out at night. The only exception being where I notice a girl and can’t think of something to say, in which case I’d rather make a bad approach than no approach.

However, my confusion comes up in street game. In this situation, you have a girl who is fully in her own world going about her business, then you arrive. Going indirect, with a situational opener doesn’t seem to match the environment, and leaves the girl wondering, “why is this guy talking to me?” Direct in this case makes it very clear why you’ve approached, but at the cost of your initial frame. I’m not really sure how to solve this issue. The best remedies I’ve heard are Tony D’s observations vs insights, which makes your compliment more unique and memorable-and also less about her looks and more about something she’s done. In this case complimenting a choice she made-maybe this makes your frame slightly stronger. The other remedy is to do what I mentioned earlier with compliance, sex frames, and reframing. Again feel free to correct any of the above assumptions if some of it seems off-it’s my understanding of things at the moment, and I could be conflating many different things wrongly.

An example:
You’re walking on the street and see a girl. You pass her, and then run back around and stop her
You: Hey, I just saw you walking, and I thought you were extremely cute-my name’s Dave.
This is not the best-you’ve run back around, and given a direct compliment that could seem very cookie cutter.

Second Example:
You see a girl coming up to you, and before she passes, you hold up both your hands and policeman stop
You: Hey, I just noticed you walking towards me, and you walk like you’re going to be president some day. Your confidence is infectious. My name’s Nikhil.
This one is better, you stopped her in a very bold way, and your compliment seems sincere, and different.

Third example:
You see a girl pass by and before she passes, you policeman stop.
You: Hey, I noticed you walking past and saw that you were wearing all red. You must not be from here.
This is where my experience is missing, so this analysis is pure conjecture and second hand thoughts. But it seems very... wrong... to do this, because the frame of stopping a girl on a street to say this seems off. I can’t say much more because I haven’t tried it, though it’s near the top of my list to try once I can day game again.
Link to second hand info:

This is the point I’d love to hear thoughts on-what can you say indirect when doing a street stop?

One answer I’ve found is here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-calibrate-your-openers-her-situation. In the girls in motion section. This does seem dependent on you being sexy and able to make her curious, which is a skill you get as you become more advanced. I’ll have to try it and experiment for myself, but it seems promising. Maybe direct game is just something you start to use less of as you become more advanced.

My confusion is that even the best direct game is still a compliment and hurts your frame-and I’m not really sure the best way to solve this. Would love to hear people’s thoughts on the matter.
 
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a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Teevster

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One thing I think can be agreed on is that by making an approach direct, you’ve shifted the frame to be of you chasing, which is bad. As a result we have to make up for this. From what I understand, we do this through making the girl invest-compliance, deep diving; and by making her aroused-sex talk, sexual frames; and other reframing tactics: chase frames, etc.

Direct game into sex talk has a very high likelihood in causing resistance such as female state control and anti-slut defense which very often leads to heavy last minute resistance (that is, if she has not resisted you before you get to that point). To pull this off, one needs to be a master at handling LMR (last minute resistance), even though a lot of LMR one may get is at times almost impossible to recover from. Hence one need to accept loosing a few lays here and there.


To each their own.


Edit: Rusty daygamer here, but I reckon that old GWM did not require the following to be handled:

“why is this guy talking to me?”

At least not in the early phase - it can be handled post rapport (classic GWM). Eventually as things build up and go well, this "why is this guy talking to me" would be communicated through QUALIFICATION.

Another way this has usually be solved is not through direct communication, but by subcommuncation (old school GWM - eye contact, and overall vibe).

However, other daygamers from back then, i.e. Maniac High, Svengali and TokyoPUA would have used SOI's (statements of intent) which is kind of what you want to get out of direct game, but which can be done without having to use a direct opener (IOI). It can first of all be used:
- After the initiall opening - i.e. if she responds well, give her a compliment through a qualifier (if delivered as a qualifier it does not ruin your frame)
- Dis-qualifiers can serve as statements of intent although risky - especially in day-game.
- Push and pull - i.e. sign of interest followed by a qualifier (sign of interest) can work as an SOI.
- Same with a light compliment followed with a challenge. This way you balance things out.

They never advocated that super direct stuff though.

Again, I am rusty - but I used to do great in daygame back then :)

Best,
 
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Teevster

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Kvothe

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Kvothe

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@Teevster

Direct game into sex talk has a very high likelihood in causing resistance such as female state control and anti-slut defense which very often leads to heavy last minute resistance (that is, if she has not resisted you before you get to that point). To pull this off, one needs to be a master at handling LMR (last minute resistance), even though a lot of LMR one may get is at times almost impossible to recover from. Hence one need to accept loosing a few lays here and there.


To each their own.

Yeah, I'm currently okay relying on that crutch (I'm still technically less than a year of experience), and losing a few girls at the moment at the benefit of getting more dates, since I still end up with an okay amount of results, but I like to plan ahead, and this seems like a next step for me as I move forward. Plus knowing how to do this would undoubtedly make me better. At the same time, I'll start mixing these changes in and change the ratio over time.

i.e. Maniac High, Svengali and TokyoPUA would have used SOI's (statements of intent) which is kind of what you want to get out of direct game

Little confused on the difference between a SOI and a direct opener.

@Bacchus

First things first. . . I think a thread of this complexity would be a better fit for the advanced sub-forum.

Yeah, I wasn't sure, but opted for beginner because direct approaches are more the bread and butter for beginners.

Some years later I learned a different way to open called pacing her ongoing reality. Or reality pace openers. I used these on static chicks and found them to be even smoother than the average curiosity gambit. . . though I still prefer to mix in some intriguing bait when I can. Because of their combined effectiveness. . . I've thought about how wonderful it would be to have a reality pace opener for street stops off and on. . .

This is intriguing. Thank you for sharing it. I imagine by "static" you mean stationary? In which case I wonder what you do on girls in motion?

I have even more questions on how to do it, such as how you actually open, and where you go after, but all of those seem like things you need to learn experientially so I think it's better to keep them open questions here.

Thanks both of you for sharing-wish I could try these out sooner, but will do so once quarantine is out.
 

Rakkum

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One thing I think can be agreed on is that by making an approach direct, you’ve shifted the frame to be of you chasing, which is bad.

Right on. But does it have to be so neccessarily? I'm hopeful you can have the bang of a direct opener and then flip the script to get the best out of both worlds.

I haven't tried this on the street yet (yes, being a kj here) but I'm thinking about going from direct opener to blatant screening and qualifying:

"Hey, saw you walking and was thinking to myself damn she looks charming"
Smile pregnant pause, let her engage you, then go straigh into blatant screening-qualifying
"Do tell me what else is there about that would want to make me meet up with you? "(Cocky and confident)
OR
"Is it real?" (Serene and soulful)


It seems to be working online, to some degree.
 

Teevster

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This is intriguing. Thank you for sharing it. I imagine by "static" you mean stationary? In which case I wonder what you do on girls in motion?

It may sound creepy, but the way it used to be done, was follow a girl (from behind and if she is infront of you, hide yourself and let her pass and then follow her for a bit) until she stops (i.e. traffic light) and then as she stops approach from the side - preferably after you get an approach invitation. It used to have the fancy term "pAImAI" "pre-approach invitation, male approach invitation". LOL.
 

Teevster

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The pacing aspect was also advocated by Ross Jeffries (I think) where you would say a truism followed with a pace like "you know sometimes go through your day, doing things you usually do, and day by day the same happens in repeat, but sometimes you find yourself experiencing the unusual, making your life a bit more adventurous".

It is lighter than what Bacchus advocates but it works as well.
 
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BigPapa

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This is based off a conversation from earlier that left me with some additional questions.

Note: this is more of a beginner-intermediate to intermediate question, since pure beginners will benefit from doing direct day game just to get rid of approach anxiety and to start getting numbers and dates.

One thing I think can be agreed on is that by making an approach direct, you’ve shifted the frame to be of you chasing, which is bad. As a result we have to make up for this. From what I understand, we do this through making the girl invest-compliance, deep diving; and by making her aroused-sex talk, sexual frames; and other reframing tactics: chase frames, etc.

What Bachus is saying is really good , but I would add another thing which is strong eye contact prior to the approach .

Ideally her reaction to your eye contact is either intense eye contact from her end , either playing coy ( looking at you , then breaking eye contact while looking down ) . You should also take into consideration that her response will be most of the times unconscious.

Usually day game approaches look like this for me :

Strong eye contact -> open her something along the lines " people this days rely too much on astrology , but the truth is that our body knows in the first couple of seconds if someone will be a good friend , a good partner or if just want to kill them " with a smirk smile face -> then she says something -> then I would go and say " I am X " and we shake hands -> then I would go further with things very similar to what Bachus said .
 

YS.

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You can definitely open screening direct or social direct rather than chasing direct.

Hey, you seem interesting. Who are you? (Very blase / screening)

Hey I know this is a little spontaneous but I wanted to say hi. (Very jovial/social energy. Then vibe / ramble off the opener)

You don't need to make it all romantic or intentful or sexual. You don't need to excuse yourself or qualify yourself or rationalize the approach. You can do it to stack off the opener if at all necessary but you can definitely have a direct sort of game without a lot of intent or with very screening blase intent.

Edit: This was supposed to be a reply to the OP who said direct open makes the frame chasing. But I fucked up the reply feature on mobile.
 
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Glow

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Theres no frame loss in a confident direct opener. girls know it takes balls. so it displays courage and balls which is attractive. But you can do it in clumsy ways or in smoother ways. On more smooth way is coming in of a vibe of genuine curiosity which will impact her well. Or eg assuming interestingness which will open other doors.

point being - the social frame is maintained if you open more direct in smooth ways. Cause its a display of strength.
 
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West_Indian_Archie

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I've tried answering this question a few times, but I don't really know how to find purchase in this mountain of a problem.

One of the issues with Direct/Indirect and Day Game/Night Game is the slipperiness of the language.

Direct anywhere/anytime - Hey, you're cute, what's your name. Lemme get your number and we can go out sometime.

The direct approach is unambiguous. She knows what you want. She will take her emotions of the moment and cooperate or not cooperate.

Indirect at a club - "I love this song. You know this song? The first time I heard it I was (say something vivid, descriptive, draws the listener in, doesn't require much participation) ...... You ever feel like that? Really ...." And the girl just gets drawn into the conversation, at which point you're putting her through the rollercoaster of emotions - something she is primally/genetically addicted to - and then she is INDIRECTLY attracted to you, and wants to cooperate to get more emotions from you. So you give her chances to cooperate, or you break the rapport. Each little second she spends with you, is more and more investment from her.

And you continue to push her buttons until you're fucking her later that night, and you keep on doing it, if you want her to stay.

She thinks she likes you, but she only likes the way you make her feel. Just like you think you like her, but you only like the way her looks boost your ego. "I'm fucking this chick that I didn't think I could get"

That's a bit too much.

Let's dial it back a bit.

Night Game/Indirect Approaches are in line with Social Dynamics - you are getting the girl to dig your rap. Some guys like sexual talk, some guys like status and power games, some guys like humor.... - they're all paths leading to the same place. She gets excited/attracted/engaged/invested, there is some touch, there is some base level trust built, there is arousal, there is privacy, and then there is release.

With the night - the social dynamics are working with you. She's out. She's dressed. She's theoretically open to socialization, in practice she's not - even with guys that are "her type". Regular guys that don't study seduction/fast seduction/pick up/game still have to deal with her inertia. It is what it is.

So she's single and ready to mingle. It's the night. There might be alcohol and music. She's with friends. She's having fun. In a few hours, she's going to be going to bed. Having someone else with her, sleeping in a different bed, isn't a massive change in the night's overall trajectory. Maybe she's on the rag or didn't shave her legs, or her husband is waiting for her - but fucking a new charming guy the same night is within the realm of possibility. It's why she put on lipstick - even if she doesn't want to admit it to herself.

How would you do this in the day time?

You are right to notice the dissonance of a indirect approach and the day. Most of the time, the girl is on her way to do something, often not fun and carefree. Work? Meet up with a friend? Shopping?

If you manage to stop her, even being an attractive guy, the clock is ticking.

As the years have gone by, you'll find that veteran day gamers that sell courses do a few things
  • Target Tourists if they see them (tourists have time to talk)
  • Have the most luck with recent immigrants (and moving to a new place makes women more susceptible to romance, and generally women don't like being alone/plus whatever exotic factor kicks in) Recent Immigrant women have a good reason to chat.
  • Compliment to stop the girl, and then cold reads as opener to the chat.
  • Instadates

I'll admit this is better than brute force of stopping every girl and trying to chat her up with the typical direct game, but

1) Stopping a moving woman
2) Encroaching her social space if she's seated

Just making the move puts her on defense, because the move itself is what a man trying to make a romantic approach does.

That said, we as female enthusiasts don't care so much about what she thinks/how she feels initially, it's just something to calibrate.

But it's not indirect.

Indirect in the night game, the way I have described it, means something that comes up naturally. And the focus on the interaction is not man-to-woman/romantic/sexual. People naturally talk to strangers at night clubs, at bars, at sporting events, while waiting in line, at the movies, etc. There are all of these instances in life of natural interaction that top players notice but rookie players miss.

It's good that you noticed the break in the social dynamics of a regular day time street stop.

So your mission is to think of times when you have talked to strangers, and the conversation was more than just "1st street is that away", "The time is 4:19".

What can I talk to a girl about that is going to get her drawn into my personality during the day?

One i've used in the past - cause I'm a big fan of music - was open the chick on her band t-shirt and wax rhapsodic about it. We just started to vibe at that point, and she just got hooked into the conversation.

WIA
 

hotsauce

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This is based off a conversation from earlier that left me with some additional questions.

Note: this is more of a beginner-intermediate to intermediate question, since pure beginners will benefit from doing direct day game just to get rid of approach anxiety and to start getting numbers and dates.

One thing I think can be agreed on is that by making an approach direct, you’ve shifted the frame to be of you chasing, which is bad. As a result we have to make up for this. From what I understand, we do this through making the girl invest-compliance, deep diving; and by making her aroused-sex talk, sexual frames; and other reframing tactics: chase frames, etc.

I understand this, and try to never open direct when I got out at night. The only exception being where I notice a girl and can’t think of something to say, in which case I’d rather make a bad approach than no approach.

However, my confusion comes up in street game. In this situation, you have a girl who is fully in her own world going about her business, then you arrive. Going indirect, with a situational opener doesn’t seem to match the environment, and leaves the girl wondering, “why is this guy talking to me?” Direct in this case makes it very clear why you’ve approached, but at the cost of your initial frame. I’m not really sure how to solve this issue. The best remedies I’ve heard are Tony D’s observations vs insights, which makes your compliment more unique and memorable-and also less about her looks and more about something she’s done. In this case complimenting a choice she made-maybe this makes your frame slightly stronger. The other remedy is to do what I mentioned earlier with compliance, sex frames, and reframing. Again feel free to correct any of the above assumptions if some of it seems off-it’s my understanding of things at the moment, and I could be conflating many different things wrongly.

An example:
You’re walking on the street and see a girl. You pass her, and then run back around and stop her

This is not the best-you’ve run back around, and given a direct compliment that could seem very cookie cutter.

Second Example:
You see a girl coming up to you, and before she passes, you hold up both your hands and policeman stop

This one is better, you stopped her in a very bold way, and your compliment seems sincere, and different.

Third example:
You see a girl pass by and before she passes, you policeman stop.

This is where my experience is missing, so this analysis is pure conjecture and second hand thoughts. But it seems very... wrong... to do this, because the frame of stopping a girl on a street to say this seems off. I can’t say much more because I haven’t tried it, though it’s near the top of my list to try once I can day game again.
Link to second hand info:

This is the point I’d love to hear thoughts on-what can you say indirect when doing a street stop?

One answer I’ve found is here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-calibrate-your-openers-her-situation. In the girls in motion section. This does seem dependent on you being sexy and able to make her curious, which is a skill you get as you become more advanced. I’ll have to try it and experiment for myself, but it seems promising. Maybe direct game is just something you start to use less of as you become more advanced.

My confusion is that even the best direct game is still a compliment and hurts your frame-and I’m not really sure the best way to solve this. Would love to hear people’s thoughts on the matter.


'quick question/hey/you're cute... are you single?'
ricardus

only opener i use... atm


gas
 

Glow

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Simple one for full stops or semi stops
- Use a situational opener - eg time. ive used excuse me, my watch doesnt work - an elegant one i display to make her think - hm... nice style
- Flip to a discovered something about her vibe with a direct shift in your underlying energetic reaction to her eg from polite to curious screenerish, while you shoot an assumption based on accent, appearance or just any - like she did something or wore something that ignited your curiosity. wow, what an accent youre from xxx, right? Or you dressing reminds me of xxx population..
- shoot a few assumptions, stacked, elicit things from her to open the conversation from. Or display knowledge around the flirt assumption. Check Yad for more details on this model.
- transfer into any milestone plan to drive things forward.

One of the keys with this is to ignite politeness first, then make her very reactive to you in a flow with quick assumptions shots while seeding in a vibe and make it appear a stumble upon her thing - like she is opening your interest due to her various sides but it was not there before. like and unfolding dialogue.

To the energy of it i react to her and use a Sean Connory bond style type way which amps up several subtle parts that will stimulate her. i widen my eyes a bit upwards like im slightly wowed or made a discovery, to amplify the reaction.

Another key is in the shift and making her reactive to you. it has to come across like a sudden thing you discovered - think how . i find it works best if i very grounded while i connect w her.

And STAY IN and never eject due to your own insecurities of awkwardness or alike. Have material you can lead the convo with. routes to take her down. shape this part so the energy doesnt flatten, you want to continually tak her places, subtle is better not the pushy sales man style.

also work your material or improv skills to flexibly stimulate the convo

works like a charm.

the direct version of this is to ask for excuse me do you know where there is a bank around here?
as she answers say - i dont really care about the bank actually, it just wanted to talk w you
let her laugh
lead things - key is to depart in the laughter moment as itll ignite a flirt.
eg assuming shes into it type progression
lock-in is key here to make her not just walk on which will happen at times. but minimise it. Which is about how you engage her properly for the stop. And how you dont react with your body if she starts but shoot verbals instead as a tool to make her stay.
 
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BigPapa

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While I've also followed these tips in the past. In the last few years. . . the only thing I've done on that list is instadate.
That being said. . . I regularly talk about dream-destinations and build rapport on the topic of travelling. If she's ever traveled to an interesting new place, I will link her positive emotions surrounding this experience. . . to myself. And if she has not. . . I just use her imagination to do the same.
Using frame control and emotional stimulation to bring her into the adventurous state-of-mind, commonly found in tourists makes it easier to get instant date and same day pulls. This is one of my early routes for creating deeper physiological intimacy. . . to shag girls from the mall, bookstores, coffee shops, semi-stops, waiting for a bus, etc. I will also make use of seduction oriented topics to bring on an experience like being alone in a crowd. . . which makes our surrounding environment fade into the background. Time gets distorted and schedules can become more flexible. . .

How do you manage to talk with girls that are not tourists about travelling and stuff like that without her getting a boyfriend vibe ?

I am facing this problem quite often when I am talking with girls that are quite far away from my lifestyle ( most of the young girls are like this ) , and even though mainly my vibe is sexual and manage to get into her mind , when i start sexually escalating they start becoming uncomfortable and push heavily for a potential boyfriend & girlfriend frame . Then when I reject the frame , they would just auto reject because they think that I am not really interested in them as a person and just want to have sex with them .
 

Velasco

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@Bacchus
How do you manage to talk with girls that are not tourists

As in girls that don't travel. Via private discussions, BP revealed to me that he'll often stir the conversation towards traveling and then talk about where he's traveled, and that this will sometimes makes these girls feel insecure, and they start going into autorejection.

To avoid that reaction (autorejection) perhaps, its better to test to see if talking about traveling is something she would be interested in (she's done a fair bit of traveling herself), rather than going into the subject regardless if she says she's never traveled outside the country/city.

Chase:

“Have you traveled much, or do you want to?” If this is anything other than an emphatic "yes!" then you want to avoid the subject of travel like a plague. Some women find the idea of travel intoxicating and alluring - if this is the case, they'll make this clear as day the instant you ask about it, trust me. Then you're free to talk about traveling all you like and they'll view you as a man of romance and mystery.

If, on the other hand, they think travel is weird and unusual and don't understand why anyone would want to do it, if you start talking about how well-traveled you are, guess what: now YOU'RE weird and unusual and unable to be understood! So, it's very important you broach this subject lightly first - and direct your conversation accordingly.

 

greenleaf

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@Bacchus


As in girls that don't travel. Via private discussions, BP revealed to me that he'll often stir the conversation towards traveling and then talk about where he's traveled, and that this will sometimes makes these girls feel insecure, and they start going into autorejection.

To avoid that reaction (autorejection) perhaps, its better to test to see if talking about traveling is something she would be interested in (she's done a fair bit of traveling herself), rather than going into the subject regardless if she says she's never traveled outside the country/city.

Chase:

“Have you traveled much, or do you want to?” If this is anything other than an emphatic "yes!" then you want to avoid the subject of travel like a plague. Some women find the idea of travel intoxicating and alluring - if this is the case, they'll make this clear as day the instant you ask about it, trust me. Then you're free to talk about traveling all you like and they'll view you as a man of romance and mystery.

If, on the other hand, they think travel is weird and unusual and don't understand why anyone would want to do it, if you start talking about how well-traveled you are, guess what: now YOU'RE weird and unusual and unable to be understood! So, it's very important you broach this subject lightly first - and direct your conversation accordingly.


That Chase quote is interesting. Kind of linked to how lots of the girls I talk too when out (hot young 'chavs' lol) seem to be a completely different breed to the girls I read about in the FR's here (although the girls I met when I travelled seemed much more like the girls in the FR's, hence maybe why I found it easier to get laid whilst I was travelling. In fact, I didn't even need to use all the gambits and stuff etc on them - If she was into me, it all just happened without me needing to set frames about sex and being non judgemental etc, since girls that are travelling and stuff know what's up and don't even seem to have that slut defence thing. They're basically out to bang a guy who they think is hot and are in 'travelling mode' where there's no repurcusions or limitations)
 

Glow

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@Bacchus


As in girls that don't travel. Via private discussions, BP revealed to me that he'll often stir the conversation towards traveling and then talk about where he's traveled, and that this will sometimes makes these girls feel insecure, and they start going into autorejection.

To avoid that reaction (autorejection) perhaps, its better to test to see if talking about traveling is something she would be interested in (she's done a fair bit of traveling herself), rather than going into the subject regardless if she says she's never traveled outside the country/city.

Chase:

“Have you traveled much, or do you want to?” If this is anything other than an emphatic "yes!" then you want to avoid the subject of travel like a plague. Some women find the idea of travel intoxicating and alluring - if this is the case, they'll make this clear as day the instant you ask about it, trust me. Then you're free to talk about traveling all you like and they'll view you as a man of romance and mystery.

If, on the other hand, they think travel is weird and unusual and don't understand why anyone would want to do it, if you start talking about how well-traveled you are, guess what: now YOU'RE weird and unusual and unable to be understood! So, it's very important you broach this subject lightly first - and direct your conversation accordingly.


ive never had a girl not wanting to talk about travel
its one of the safest topic choices in the initial phase of light topics
im pretty sure its about how you guys introduce it
i serve it up w shitloads of intrique and introduce three soi areas in my first line in a triple contrasting manner and you frame.
this is initial level chick crack imo.

The BP point is obvious thats hes being too much and sorta blowing her out. typical error that does not deal with the topic, but with his ignorance on how to adapt to and communicate with girls in specific states where you want to support her self esteem instead of displaying what is perceived as value in the community. All good. done that myself several times too.

I think this is a separate thread btw. not really relevant to OP.
 
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