How to re-evalutate my game.

[Estate]

Hi guys,
So the past few weeks I've been racking up phone numbers and meeting up with girls.

But it's the same pattern always. I meet them, I get so far but ultimately it is not leading anywhere.
Now I know not every girl will be totally into me... but I'm not sparking enough attraction somehow. Even after a "date" I feel like I am still chasing. They'll often agree to meeting up again but I dont even see the point. When I do, it's not progressing no matter how hard I am trying to use all the advice here.

Just tonight, I met a girl who I had previously seen, we went on an activity type date but I figured it being Friday, we'd grab some drinks after and could continue to escalate but when the activity was over, she was ready to go home. I tried kissing her but it wasn't happening. Now I know if I contact this girl again she'll be willing to meet but it's not going anywhere, I feel almost friendzoned despite I can easily meet her again. I'm just not understanding.

I need to re-evalute things but I'm not sure how to start. There seems to be a pattern to the outcome but I've tried various things and ways of handling meeting these girls so I'm not seeing the pattern of what exactly is not working.

I know that's all a bit vague. But has anyone experienced what I'm talking about?

 

[Gamecrasher]

Chase-framing is really important to use in order to get girls interested and ready for sex. Start getting them to invest more and use sexual humor.

This article below is a great read for that to get you started, Estate:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secre ... se-framing

 

[Chase]

Estate-

A good general way of assessing problems:

• Am I seeing the same specific problem again and again? If so, it's a problem with a specific technique that needs tweaking
• Am I seeing a general problems theme occurring again and again? Then the problem is with an attitude I have

For instance, a guy who keeps going for a kiss at the end of the first date in the same way and keeps getting rejected needs to change up how he goes about kissing girls.

A guy who never makes it past the first date, period, is approaching his dates in fundamentally a not very correct way, and needs to figure out how to change his feeling about dates and his approach to them. Maybe he sees them as interview processes and tries to be too impressive, or maybe his attitude is that they're formal occasions and he treats them too stiff.

On your specific problems, can you elaborate more on where specifically you're running into issues?

What might be best, actually, would be posting field reports of the dates that are going awry, so folks can have a look at them and see what they can spot.

Anyway, I just checked the FR board, and looks like you have a new first date lay, so... looks like it's not ALL bad!

Chase

 

[Estate]

Chase,
Thanks for the reply.

Yes, I posted this after a rather bland Friday night date and a few similarly bland dates recently.

I changed things up for Saturday. I went in with less of an attitude of "lets have this really impressive classy first date" and just went with "I'm not really in the mood for anything too formal, lets just go for drinks and a fun Saturday night". I went in way more relaxed since as I was a little worn down I didn't really stress over the outcome or making it an impressive date. I kept the whole thing fairly low key and just treated it as someone to have a fun Saturday night out with.
I'm guessing that mentality actually might have worked for me.

I'm going to take your advice though and start breaking this down more. I'm not getting overly carried away with Saturday. I know I still have to improve.
I think I have a reference point now. In a lot of ways I felt the "good" dates and the "bad" dates weren't totally different in how I acted or how I spoke but there were differences in logistics, the places we went, the tone set for the date, etc.

I already posted about the "formal" first dates and the venues I had been going to. I think I will be cutting this out... any dates I've had that I can remember going REALLY well were always in less formal circumstances and it was easy to lean in, touch and eventually kiss the girl... sitting across a table is just useless so I'm cutting that out.
Same goes for venue. A lot of girls suggest very fancy resterants and while I like to go to those, again for the same reasons as above, they suck as 1st date spots.
I think moving her too was a good idea but something I'd rarely done before.

I also stopped giving up weekend nights for dates and started doing more weeknights. Often the girls would want to meet after work. My idea was, I had just met her, so keep it low key, don't give up a weekend night for her.
After work drinks are aweful though, I usually find they are rushed or stressed from work and often can't wait to get home. It's probably nothing to do with me even but they often don't come into the date in a "fun" mood.
It also limits the potential to move them, as a weeknight date is usually maybe 2 drinks and a "Nice to meet you"... you'd need really tight game to move ultra fast I think.
Again, I've had more success when the girl is in a relaxed mood and doesn't have an excuse to need to rush off.
So I'm weighing up the pros and cons of this... I received the advice before not to appear too available by looking like you had nothing else to do on a weekend night but I think you often get the girl in a more "fun" mood when you DO meet them at or nearer to the weekend.

Anyway... more for me to work on. I'm on a little high this week after a good end to the weekend.