How To Stay Approach Motivated With a Rotation

[JT Sunshine]

I find myself in a situation...

I want to get good at this stuff. Not just good - really, really good. I hate the term "sex addict", but by societal definition I am one. Sex is an art form, and it's damn near all I ever think about. I have a great job, a great relationship with my family, friends, and by all means I am a "normal" person. I'm having sex with three different women on the regular, but I want to get good enough to f*ck a new random hottie at least once a month. I want variety. That shouldn't be unreasonable..? From past experience it will take me getting good at the approach, flirting, moving them, building comfort, bouncing and then seduction...

My issue currently is that I have been feeling very unmotivated to approach and chat *properly*. It seems like a lot of work when I have more than one girl who would be happy to have me over right now. Go slog it out in the streets/bars to hopefully get a number, or have crazy good sex with one of my three? I've read a lot of posts/articles that say "stop masturbating" if you want to raise your testosterone levels and approach more. But how do you stay motivated when you're actually having sex with multiple women? I am mid 30s and fairly active. This would not have been an issue when I was in my early 20s. I find I've gotten waaay better at sex as I've gotten older, but waaay worse at meeting+attracting women. Less motivation, less energy.

Curious if any of you more experienced guys have dealt with this and found a way to keep motivated to meet and attract/lay new women?

 

[isildur1]

Do you have a genuine interest in meeting people? For me personally I enjoy meeting new people so the motivation never stopped - each new set it an opportunity to change your life for the better and great quality women Can bring immense validation.

for most my wingmen who quit the issues were a lack of genuine interest to get to know knew people, a lack of curiosity and being unable to take rejection long term- bringing women into your life takes effort and no matter how good you are there is always rejection in play- you need to find a inspiration beyond merely sex - daygame and approaching brings a lot of benefits beyond merely just getting your dick wet

 

[JT Sunshine]

Do you have a genuine interest in meeting people? For me personally I enjoy meeting new people so the motivation never stopped - each new set it an opportunity to change your life for the better and great quality women Can bring immense validation.

for most my wingmen who quit the issues were a lack of genuine interest to get to know knew people, a lack of curiosity and being unable to take rejection long term- bringing women into your life takes effort and no matter how good you are there is always rejection in play- you need to find a inspiration beyond merely sex - daygame and approaching brings a lot of benefits beyond merely just getting your dick wet

I think you may be onto something. The days and nights I’ve been the most successful (and had the most fun) were when I was in a very social mood, talking to guys, girls, whoever. I think in a way I’ve gotten stuck in the trap of being so focused on work and hobbies that being social and meeting people have taken a bit of the back burner.

Really solid post man. I should have fun and enjoy meeting new people, and probably stay more motivated in the process.

 

[TomInHo]

Having a consistent rotation will kill your drive to get new pussy

Can try limiting your interactions to seeing each girl less (twice a month for example) and focusing primarily on sexual activities, and avoid non-sexual hangouts or sleepovers.

The reason behind this is that the more time you spend with them, the more your body will release bonding hormones, pushing you towards settling down with at least one of them. This can alter your brain chemistry, reducing your desire for new encounters.

t's similar to being on a diet. When you're not restricting your eating, your appetite diminishes, and food feels just okay. But when you're cutting calories, your cravings skyrocket, and you might find yourself daydreaming about food all day.
It's very similar to being on a diet

In short, if you want to stay hungry for new experiences, you need to restrict your current pussy intake.

 

[gameboy]

I think you may be onto something. The days and nights I’ve been the most successful (and had the most fun) were when I was in a very social mood, talking to guys, girls, whoever. I think in a way I’ve gotten stuck in the trap of being so focused on work and hobbies that being social and meeting people have taken a bit of the back burner.

Really solid post man. I should have fun and enjoy meeting new people, and probably stay more motivated in the process.

Same! I also love that post. Very motivating Mr. @isildur1

 

[Bill]

You can have sex without orgasming

 

[Stark]

For me personally, the thrill of new pussy from cold approach is connected to 2 of my core values - independence and adventure.

It's an aspect of life that makes me feel truly alive.

An element of my women life vision is seeing myself racking up a laycount not for validation but to fill my sex drive that craves variety. This take care of my actions on the field and my vibe (and frame) with girls when first dating them.

These days I focus on NOT making regular FB's but short flings that I like to maintain for as long as I like.

This always gives the room to add more girls to my sex life as it's vital to my happiness.

There's a fall-off factor - where girls who want monogamy demands exclusivity and you have 'The Talk' early that you don't want exclusivity. This requires some emotional control because you do like certain girls and the sex. But that's how it goes.

 

[POB]

This would not have been an issue when I was in my early 20s. I find I've gotten waaay better at sex as I've gotten older, but waaay worse at meeting+attracting women. Less motivation, less energy.

Curious if any of you more experienced guys have dealt with this and found a way to keep motivated to meet and attract/lay new women?

Best way I found to go around it:
1) go to your rotation, pick the best one and make her your main (MLTR)
2) others are just allowed as low-end FBs and or ONS...and you don't give a fuck if they stay or go

This forces you to constantly go after new pussy, while still maintaining a certain level of commitment and pair bonding.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Gentlemen, I appreciate all the great responses. I think you’re right about the over-indulgence diminishing my drive. Having a nice home cooked meal is not going to make you want to go downtown to wander around in the snow looking for a food truck… it makes perfect sense.

As luck would have it, one of the three started talking about some guy who “really likes her and wants to get committed”, in almost a testing way to see if I would go all “no, pick me”. Then proceeded to ask me to help with her rent. Big yikes. She was not top of the list anyways, so I am dropping her.

For the other two I will try to limit myself to once a week with each. Any less and I may get some pushback, and I want to keep them happy as I do really like them both. But that will really be a nice self-kick in the ass to go out there and find some more! Especially on days I’m off or am planning to go out at night. I think weekends are going to be reserved for new adventures.

Once again, I appreciate the insight
JT

 

[theReason]

As luck would have it, one of the three started talking about some guy who “really likes her and wants to get committed”, in almost a testing way to see if I would go all “no, pick me”. Then proceeded to ask me to help with her rent. Big yikes. She was not top of the list anyways, so I am dropping her.

Gold. This could solve half of your issue. Sell her on the idea that “at her age/our age, she deserves someone who’s going to commit to her” and that it’s not going to be you. Easiest breakup in the world.

A happy ending for you, her, and her second-choice man. Good shit.

 

[Skills]

Have a day or 2 during the week that you dedicate to sarge... On those days don't masturbate at least 6 hours pre sarge and/or have sex on that date.... If you have onitis or nre it will be very difficult to do during those few months, you will go through motions, hard to get around it, no matter what, is only for a few months though....