I’m lost in life, Age 27. Looking for guidance

[Chase]

@DarkKnight,

Worthy of an article maybe?

I think we already have a ton of articles on the concept. The entire "Harmful Mindsets" subcategory deals with the many varieties of bad inner game manifesting itself in outer results:

Harmful Mindsets | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

Also what do you guys mean with lower or higher vibration. I hear that a lot these days

'Vibrations' is a concept from New Age spirituality, that people of different energy levels 'vibrate' at different frequencies.

People with 'lower vibrations' are darker, dismal, dreary, downers... closer to the hell realm, self-focused, filled with negative emotions. They're vibrating at a low level. People with 'higher vibrations' or 'good vibrations' are light, loving, joyous, forward-looking, optimistic... closer to the heavenly realms, other-directed, filled with positivity.

Be the Lightbringer: Dating and the Sublime Benefits of Positivity

Jadedness and cynicism can go hand-in-hand with the playboy lifestyle. But they don’t need to; it’s more effective to bring light. Sometimes I encounter a funny problem with guys. Their fundamentals are in good shape. They have reams of passive value and are all around attractive men, if you go...

www.girlschase.com

The whole concept of a man's 'vibe' and 'vibing' with girls / other people, etc., stems from this concept of one's 'vibrations'.

Whether you give credit to the spiritual aspect of it or not, it's a useful concept -- and there's no denying that positive, active, ambitious, forward-looking people keep themselves away from those at a 'lower vibration', because they just don't want to be sucked down into all that.

Protecting Yourself from Psychic Vampires (and Not Turning, Either)

In yesterday's article on emotional contagion - Part I of this 2-parter on emotional transference - we discussed how the process of transferring emotions from person to person works.

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[DarkKnight]

The whole concept of a man's 'vibe' and 'vibing' with girls / other people, etc., stems from this concept of one's 'vibrations'.

Whether you give credit to the spiritual aspect of it or not, it's a useful concept -- and there's no denying that positive, active, ambitious, forward-looking people keep themselves away from those at a 'lower vibration', because they just don't want to be sucked down into all that.

Like the rich man guarding himself from the woes of the poor. I think I understand. Thank you Chase

Edit after chase reply : so I dont spam new posts

More like the generous man guarding himself from the so-desperate-they'll-take-advantage-of-you (possibly inadvertently). -> this is what I meant but I worded it very poorly lol

 

[Chase]

Like the rich man guarding himself from the woes of the poor. I think I understand. Thank you Chase

More like the generous man guarding himself from the so-desperate-they'll-take-advantage-of-you (possibly inadvertently).

 

[LightingArrows21]

Thanks to everyone for all the feedback. Current course of action is focusing on getting fit again, saving up money and hitting my fundamentals hard. Getting my teeth whitened and take care of them hard. Buying a new sexy wardrobe once I’ve lost about 20 pounds. From there, not sure what to do next

 

[LightingArrows21]

@DarkKnight,



I think we already have a ton of articles on the concept. The entire "Harmful Mindsets" subcategory deals with the many varieties of bad inner game manifesting itself in outer results:

Harmful Mindsets | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

'Vibrations' is a concept from New Age spirituality, that people of different energy levels 'vibrate' at different frequencies.

People with 'lower vibrations' are darker, dismal, dreary, downers... closer to the hell realm, self-focused, filled with negative emotions. They're vibrating at a low level. People with 'higher vibrations' or 'good vibrations' are light, loving, joyous, forward-looking, optimistic... closer to the heavenly realms, other-directed, filled with positivity.

Be the Lightbringer: Dating and the Sublime Benefits of Positivity

Jadedness and cynicism can go hand-in-hand with the playboy lifestyle. But they don’t need to; it’s more effective to bring light. Sometimes I encounter a funny problem with guys. Their fundamentals are in good shape. They have reams of passive value and are all around attractive men, if you go...

www.girlschase.com

The whole concept of a man's 'vibe' and 'vibing' with girls / other people, etc., stems from this concept of one's 'vibrations'.

Whether you give credit to the spiritual aspect of it or not, it's a useful concept -- and there's no denying that positive, active, ambitious, forward-looking people keep themselves away from those at a 'lower vibration', because they just don't want to be sucked down into all that.

Protecting Yourself from Psychic Vampires (and Not Turning, Either)

In yesterday's article on emotional contagion - Part I of this 2-parter on emotional transference - we discussed how the process of transferring emotions from person to person works.

www.girlschase.com

Chase

Perhaps an article on how extended virginity can create certain “mental blocks” as time goes on?
And other issues such as early life failure?
I really do believe my lack of success with women as a teenager has spilled into other problems in my life. And it still haunts me to this day

 

[Adventurer]

Perhaps an article on how extended virginity can create certain “mental blocks” as time goes on?
And other issues such as early life failure?
I really do believe my lack of success with women as a teenager has spilled into other problems in my life. And it still haunts me to this day

I was a virgin until 27. When I discovered Girls' Chase, I got laid within 3 months. Now 2 years later, I have a lay count of 16

It's true that being a virgin is stressful to some extent. But tbh it's the lack of good mental models and reference points that hurts, more than a mental block

Apply the advice in the articles and the virgin stigma will solve itself. Because the material is so effective you won't stay a virgin for much longer. And after that, the winner effect will trigger and you will snowball if you keep taking action and testing new stuff

 

[LightingArrows21]

I was a virgin until 27. When I discovered Girls' Chase, I got laid within 3 months. Now 2 years later, I have a lay count of 16

It's true that being a virgin is stressful to some extent. But tbh it's the lack of good mental models and reference points that hurts, more than a mental block

Apply the advice in the articles and the virgin stigma will solve itself. Because the material is so effective you won't stay a virgin for much longer. And after that, the winner effect will trigger and you will snowball if you keep taking action and testing new stuff

What do you specifically recommend I read? There’s so many articles it’s easy to get an information overload. I’ve known about girls chase for at least a decade now, I’ve just always let life distract me with other things and had porn to handle my sexual needs

 

[Adventurer]

What do you specifically recommend I read? There’s so many articles it’s easy to get an information overload. I’ve known about girls chase for at least a decade now, I’ve just always let life distract me with other things and had porn to handle my sexual needs

Identify your most basic, low-hanging problems and start with that. On top of my mind, the article that was the most useful to me was the one about how to get numbers/dates (how to ask out a girl and almost always get a yes) followed by the copy pasted texts (14 ways to text a girl and make her want you)

I was already decent at social skills but if it's not the case for you, I would actually start with that. And of course, the article about porn

 

[LightingArrows21]

Identify your most basic, low-hanging problems and start with that. On top of my mind, the article that was the most useful to me was the one about how to get numbers/dates (how to ask out a girl and almost always get a yes) followed by the copy pasted texts (14 ways to text a girl and make her want you)

I was already decent at social skills but if it's not the case for you, I would actually start with that. And of course, the article about porn

I think I have decent social skills, I’m just not an extrovert. I think I internalized my low self esteem and getting rejected by girls at a young age, so now I have a sort of mental block about talking to attractive girls. I also think I never quite got over my fear of talking to pretty girls, like really quality trim. Then mixing in the oneitis and I put girls on this pedestal and they’re like this thing I subconsciously tell myself I can’t have. I’m in a pretty rough spot. And life is only getting more complicated I feel like I have to gain assets and position in society on top of the mating game. I’m literally starting from nothing, no assets, no degree, net worth under $5K. And I know it’s not all about money, but at my age girls start to care about that stuff.

 

[Adventurer]

I

I think I have decent social skills, I’m just not an extrovert. I think I internalized my low self esteem and getting rejected by girls at a young age, so now I have a sort of mental block about talking to attractive girls. I also think I never quite got over my fear of talking to pretty girls, like really quality trim. Then mixing in the oneitis and I put girls on this pedestal and they’re like this thing I subconsciously tell myself I can’t have. I’m in a pretty rough spot. And life is only getting more complicated I feel like I have to gain assets and position in society on top of the mating game. I’m literally starting from nothing, no assets, no degree, net worth under $5K. And I know it’s not all about money, but at my age girls start to care about that stuff.

I'm not talking about that. Those are the big picture problems and are not actionable for now. You're way behind at everything and have to start from scratch ? That sucks but it's time to quit victim mentality and start getting some wins.

Your immediate problem is not to be able to talk to your dream girl. It's talking to girls in general. Go to an activity group and talk to a girl there. Get phone numbers, even if they are fake in the beginning. Then some real ones. Then a few dates that go nowhere. Then good dates. Then get laid.

For money, same deal. If you're unemployed and have no degree, time to apply to McDonalds, or create your own business. If you have a dead end job, time to save $100 a month. Heck even $20 if you work part time. If you're in debt, put that money into that. It's not about the large goal you're failing at, it's about the small wins you can get right now. Those trigger the winner effect, and this is what you need from what I'm getting in your posts

 

[LightingArrows21]

I

I'm not talking about that. Those are the big picture problems and are not actionable for now. You're way behind at everything and have to start from scratch ? That sucks but it's time to quit victim mentality and start getting some wins.

Your immediate problem is not to be able to talk to your dream girl. It's talking to girls in general. Go to an activity group and talk to a girl there. Get phone numbers, even if they are fake in the beginning. Then some real ones. Then a few dates that go nowhere. Then good dates. Then get laid.

For money, same deal. If you're unemployed and have no degree, time to apply to McDonalds, or create your own business. If you have a dead end job, time to save $100 a month. Heck even $20 if you work part time. If you're in debt, put that money into that. It's not about the large goal you're failing at, it's about the small wins you can get right now. Those trigger the winner effect, and this is what you need from what I'm getting in your posts

Thanks for breaking it down for me. I’ll read advice online from girlschase and other places, but when someone’s talking to you directly, it just hits different. Haven’t jerked or watched porn in 3 days now, the desire is gone now that you guys are holding me to it. Looking forward to triggering the winner effect I’ve heard so much about

 

[LightingArrows21]

You are employed, right? And are you secure with your job even if it's a dead-end job? Those are important.

Why are you in a group home? Are you disabled and not making enough money to rent your own apartment? That sounds awful.

I’m in a sober living home saving up for my own place. Should be in my own apartment very soon

 

[nicolascfl]

You have to go step by step

 

[LightingArrows21]

You have to go step by step

Yeah, that’s my thing, I get lost every time I try to work my way out. I need some close guidance

 

[funkyjam]

Here's a video published this week that I think would be good to watch. Mark Manson has a way of breaking things down in a way that is clear and understandable.