"I already have a guy for that"

[Synthesis]

So I was dating a girl and tried to imply a lover frame, ie. sex is pleasurable, prizing etc. and I was hit with "I already have a guy for that". That kind of threw me off course, especially as this girl says she's not looking for anything serious, yet she agreed to go on a date with me. How do I respond to that? Is that just a sign of bad game on my end? Granted I know I did miss some escalation windows prior so I may have been provider framed or auto-rejected.

My attempt was to further prize myself (despite a lack of experience), ie. "You never tried me" (smirk) but that led to her triggering ASD, despite that being contradictory to the frame she just put herself in. Any tips on what to do in this situation? Also, I've since cut contact with this girl and been seeing other girls, is it ever worth reinitiating with this kind of frame?

 

[Alpha13SC]

If you want just casual with her aka fuck her, then it's not very important what she's doing with other guys. Continue with the process, like you would do with just another girl.

You can use it to make it funny like: "yeah, I already got a girl for this also, I want somebody to cook for myself. Gonna pay you with my attention." Using a playful ton of voice, it can get her engaged and so on.

Usually, when you deliver lines like "You never tried me", if the situation isn't very flirty, then you should use it with something funny as well. Maybe self deprecation "You never tried me. Wanna be dissapointed?". This differ on everybody s style.

I remember I meet a girl in a trip, told me she has somehow a boy who s important in her life and wanna buy a gift for him and so on. It throw me a little bit those words from her. But after we return from the trip, she actually hit me up, went to a date. 2nd or 3rd date, when we got to her room, I remember that I saw a box of condoms, was like wtf, but then I remember I was there for a job. And got the job done, leaving other details beside the two of us.

I think the whole thing with fuckboi/provider frame is a little bit overrated. As long as you're a strong, sexy man, and see yourself as a Lover already, then you just do your thing. It's not very important what she s saying, but how she s feeling and how she s acting.

Let her do the overthink. You do the acting.

Alpha13SC

 

[Skjöldr]

Maybe self deprecation "You never tried me. Wanna be dissapointed?".

Jesus christ nononononononono

OP:
Sometimes girls have multiple FBs. Doesn't matter for shit. Sounds a bit like a shit test. Just ignore it, don't let it put you off or get jealous. Just react to it in your vibe like she told you what she had for dinner. I would just start asking her questions like "Oh really? What does he do that you like?" or "Oh really? Yeah, it is quite common for a girl to have guys they see casually. I known many girls who had multiple friends with benefits as well." When you find out what he does that she likes, you can fill out the gaps. Like if she says she likes how he talks dirty and spanks her, ask her if she's tried forced orgasming/orgasm control or being blindfolded or tell her about some cool position you know (i discovered a cool position a month ago with my FB, i love it. it is like you are fucking her like you would in doggy except she's lying on her side and you grab her upper leg and have her lower leg between your knees).

 

[Alpha13SC]

Jesus christ nononononononono

Do you have an argument?

My first thought is that if you can't pull it off with a line like that, it means it's just not fitted for your style, not a "nono".

 

[Will_V]

So I was dating a girl and tried to imply a lover frame, ie. sex is pleasurable, prizing etc. and I was hit with "I already have a guy for that". That kind of threw me off course, especially as this girl says she's not looking for anything serious, yet she agreed to go on a date with me. How do I respond to that? Is that just a sign of bad game on my end? Granted I know I did miss some escalation windows prior so I may have been provider framed or auto-rejected.

My attempt was to further prize myself (despite a lack of experience), ie. "You never tried me" (smirk) but that led to her triggering ASD, despite that being contradictory to the frame she just put herself in. Any tips on what to do in this situation? Also, I've since cut contact with this girl and been seeing other girls, is it ever worth reinitiating with this kind of frame?

She wasn't considering you for the boyfriend role, girls don't tell potential boyfriends that they already have lovers.

Sounds like a test/challenge, maybe your pep talk lacked some polish and she was pressuring you to see if you'd buckle (which in a way did happen if you think about it, if you were really an experienced lover you wouldn't have judged it).

Every guy has his own personality, but personally I would just be completely non plussed, since any reaction would have implied either judgement or qualifying. I think Alpha had the right idea, but I would go for something more like "that's OK, we'll just sit on the couch and watch TV together then I guess" with a seductive smirk. In one way it's pushy (already talking about being together) while also being a takeaway of sorts, while sounding like it's actually something more exciting that you'd be doing with her. So all the pressure goes back on her to deal with several frames at once, which makes her more likely to just smile and submit to them.

 

[Skjöldr]

Do you have an argument?

My first thought is that if you can't pull it off with a line like that, it means it's just not fitted for your style, not a "nono".

Why would you shoot yourself in the foot? Why talk yourself down like that? I don't have an argument, try it out if you want. Or don't. "right or wrong" is defined by "what works vs what doesnt". We figure that out by experimenting. However, sometimes you hear something ludicrous and you think to yourself "Yknow maybe there is a 0.1% chance this will work, but why fuck it up for myself by trying" if you know what i mean. So when experimenting he have to think "is there a probability that this will work" and your line i THINK WON'T work.

Is it a line you have tried out? Do you have experience running self-depricating humour successfully?

 

[Alpha13SC]

Why would you shoot yourself in the foot? Why talk yourself down like that? I don't have an argument, try it out if you want. Or don't. "right or wrong" is defined by "what works vs what doesnt". We figure that out by experimenting. However, sometimes you hear something ludicrous and you think to yourself "Yknow maybe there is a 0.1% chance this will work, but why fuck it up for myself by trying" if you know what i mean. So when experimenting he have to think "is there a probability that this will work" and your line i THINK WON'T work.

Is it a line you have tried out? Do you have experience running self-depricating humour successfully?

I m doing all kind of humor. I use jokes about rape and remember how one time I told to this girl how she should be afraid of me because raping is a common activity for the guys where I m from, while were in a park, just two of us, in the night. She told me she got scared by me and we should get out of the park and go along the street, where there was more light. End up dating for 2 years.

I would use self deprecating humor with some cocky n funny attitude so she knows I m not talking seriously.

I have a friend who runs so much this type of humor to the point where I m like "dude wtf" and still pulling.

Didn't use exactly that line, but others. As long as she s laughing and became more and more compliant, I don t give a fuck about what she thinks about me.

 

[Skills]

She wasn't considering you for the boyfriend role, girls don't tell potential boyfriends that they already have lovers.

Sounds like a test/challenge, maybe your pep talk lacked some polish and she was pressuring you to see if you'd buckle (which in a way did happen if you think about it, if you were really an experienced lover you wouldn't have judged it).

Every guy has his own personality, but personally I would just be completely non plussed, since any reaction would have implied either judgement or qualifying. I think Alpha had the right idea, but I would go for something more like "that's OK, we'll just sit on the couch and watch TV together then I guess" with a seductive smirk. In one way it's pushy (already talking about being together) while also being a takeaway of sorts, while sounding like it's actually something more exciting that you'd be doing with her. So all the pressure goes back on her to deal with several frames at once, which makes her more likely to just smile and submit to them.

correct happened to me only one time, when i took a girl for dinner..... You did something that screamed boyfriend potential...

 

[Skills]

I m doing all kind of humor. I use jokes about rape and remember how one time I told to this girl how she should be afraid of me because raping is a common activity for the guys where I m from, while were in a park, just two of us, in the night. She told me she got scared by me and we should get out of the park and go along the street, where there was more light. End up dating for 2 years.

I would use self deprecating humor with some cocky n funny attitude so she knows I m not talking seriously.

I have a friend who runs so much this type of humor to the point where I m like "dude wtf" and still pulling.

Didn't use exactly that line, but others. As long as she s laughing and became more and more compliant, I don t give a fuck about what she thinks about me.

That is a wrong application of self deprecation, it does not achieve any goal in advancing the seduction, on the contrast it may make the grave hole deeper.....

 

[Alpha13SC]

That is a wrong application of self deprecation, it does not achieve any goal in advancing the seduction, on the contrast it may make the grave hole deeper.....

Tbh, you were the last person I was expecting this.

 

[Searcher]

That is a wrong application of self deprecation, it does not achieve any goal in advancing the seduction, on the contrast it may make the grave hole deeper.....

I am going to jump in to this conversation real quick.

Do you think prize framing lines like below seem feasible

"yeah, I already got a girl for this also, I want somebody to cook for myself. Gonna pay you with my attention." (As said by another poster here)

Because I can think of such lines in almost an instant and infield it works sometimes and sometimes blows up in my face.
So is it that for those who it worked with might have ignored it and for those who it didn't work with might have seemed like a frame war?

So use things like this or avoid?

 

[Skills]

Tbh, you were the last person I was expecting this.

cause "self deprecation" is done from a high value, silly ridiculous point, in the context you use it is a bit off, your answer was correct, the self deprecation part in that context was not going to serve a purpose on the seduction... As you explained he should have ignore and continue with the seduction, and get maybe more physical instead of doubling down in his sexual prizing, since it was not working with that girl, look at the enrique example for context:

 

[POB]

My attempt was to further prize myself (despite a lack of experience), ie. "You never tried me" (smirk) but that led to her triggering ASD, despite that being contradictory to the frame she just put herself in.

Makes total sense in a woman's mind:
"he is just for sex"
"yeah, I'm just for sex babe (insert Mike Myers meme face here)"
"damn, he knows I am just for sex, I can't be seen as a slut, danger, danger"

is it ever worth reinitiating with this kind of frame?

With a lover's frame?
No.
With a sexy friend frame?
Yes...but who knows your odds at this point?

Just shoot something casual funny and see where it goes:
"Damn, someone here was kidnapped! Tell you what, when nobody is looking just shoot me your location....promise I'll go to your captivity to secretly pass you a chocolate bar through the window!

If she does not answer accordingly, excuse yourself and radio silence for 6 months.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

My attempt was to further prize myself (despite a lack of experience), ie. "You never tried me" (smirk) but that led to her triggering ASD, despite that being contradictory to the frame she just put herself in. Any tips on what to do in this situation? Also, I've since cut contact with this girl and been seeing other girls, is it ever worth reinitiating with this kind of frame?

This question has been answered but a little tip that works for me is whenever I get a shit test that I don’t know how to answer or too lazy to think of a cool reply, I simply say “Fair”

1/2) Ask for more detail on the shit test

2/2) Reply with “Fair”, shrug & change the subject

99/100 cases will be covered by the above.

Her: OMG you’re clearly such a player!!
Me: What makes you say that?
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: Fair - change subject

Her: I already have a guy for that
Me: Ah really is he cool?
Her: blah blah blah
Me: Fair - change subject

Your vibe should be, this is no big deal, you’ve taken the conversation to a boring place & I’m just being polite to not let you look awkward, let’s talk about something more interesting now

 

[TomInHo]

So I was dating a girl and tried to imply a lover frame, ie. sex is pleasurable, prizing etc. and I was hit with "I already have a guy for that".

This IMO this was a great opportunity to differentiate yourself from other guys and include some sex talk. Because girls don't tell potential boyfriends that they love casual sex.

You could've amplified the situation by building some sexual rapport

"Cool. What does he do in bed that you like?
"Why do you like that?"
"Have you ever tried. XXXXX"
"Do you have any fantasies that you've always wanted to try?"

By making it seem like it was't a big deal, you would sub-communicate that you're confident and pre-selected. Because why else would you be so nonchalant about sex

Helping shape her perception of you as a laidback, mysterious and sexual guy that may be perfect for good roll in the hay.

Also, most guys do not respond like this because they're too obsessed with appearing ALPHA or some other HIGH VALUE nonsense, rather than building a sexual connection