- Joined
- Oct 8, 2015
- Messages
- 498
Since January of this year I have been dating a beautiful, seemingly wonderful girl. This girl seemed as good as I could possibly find for a long term relationship and a potential eventual mother:
- From India and a traditional, healthy family with Mom and Dad still together and great relationship with her parents
- Came to America four years ago to get her master's degree, and has a very high paying software job
- Didn't know what sex even was until age 22, and was a virgin until she met me (I still believe this even in light of what happened)
- Is both a fantastic cook and loves to cook for me
- Despite being a software engineer, is super artistic and creative
- Is EXTREMELY beautiful. She looks like she has makeup on while wearing literally nothing. She has HUGE eyes, big lips, and a wonderfully sculpted face
- Despite being 5'2", she has 32C or 32D natural tits (her ass could be bigger, but it is still very perky)
- Is in good shape and hates sweets
- Has never drank alcohol or done drugs
- Extremely feminine
- Loves babies and children
- Was and is seemingly crazy about me
Then we have me. I am very much a catch, even without all the material I have learned from this site. I'm tall, handsome, very smart, athletic, not always the most likable but very charismatic nonetheless, and have a lot of passions. I am also quite experienced with both pickup and relationships. I fundamentally understand anyone is capable of cheating depending on their personality type, how much temptation they expose themselves to or are allowed to be exposed to by their partner, and how much their needs are currently being met in their relationship.
All this said, I thought my choice in girl and how much I was meeting her needs were about as good as they can get. We've probably had sex 600 times this year (really good sex too). I give her TONS of quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and a decent amount of acts of service and gifts. She has been more invested in the relationship than I, always wanting to be with me, always doting on me, always so happy to receive my touch, buying me tons of gifts, cooking for me multiple times per week and paying for meals when we go out, going all out for my birthday recently. She has probably spent thousands more on me than I have spent on her.
There were some concerns I had with her though. In India, she had a pseudo-boyfriend she was in love with (Guy A). I say pseudo because in India everything is very traditional and she had to keep this guy secret from her family since they were from different castes. When she came to America, they tried long distance, but a guy from her new friend group (Guy B) fell in love with her, and while she still loved Guy A she started stringing Guy B along without Guy A's knowledge. Her Indian family was pressuring her to get married, and in December 2023 she finally told Guy A she wasn't going back to India and he should stop waiting for her, and decided to marry Guy B because they get along great and he loves her very much, even though she was never in love with him.
As fate would have it, this is when she met me. She needed a roommate to replace her female roommate who was leaving. I needed a temporary place to stay. It was originally only going to be for 45 days, after which she would move in with Guy B and I would have to find somewhere more permanent. Well, once I had moved in we immediately hit it off, staying up until 1AM talking. The next day I was going to give her space but she made me coffee and food and we talked some more, then later when I came home from work she came out of her room to talk some more. She was looking so good and our rapport was already strong, so I took a risk and brought her into my room to watch a movie. I gave her space and only once tried to put my arm around her, which she rebuffed. After the movie, we started talking and started playing Thumb Wars and the Mercy game with our hands, and I spontaneous kissed her. She got extremely flustered and after a bunch more spontaneous kisses we went started hooking up. We didn't have sex, and at one point she started crying. She told me a little about Guy A and how she had recently ended things with him. She didn't tell me about Guy B. Ultimately, we kept hooking up without having sex, and the next day I was fully prepared to give her space but things were still hot.
We kept hooking up every day and night, getting closer and closer to sex, but she was very nervous about it. After 7 days of this and spending a lot of time together, she told me she loves me. I didn't immediately say it back and was a little concerned with how fast she had told me this, but I knew the potential was there and chalked it up to her being a virgin. I also had recently been ghosted by another girl who told me she loved me after I didn't say it back. So I decided to tell her I love her too even if it wasn't true yet to help facilitate sex happening, which I knew would be good for our relationship. I told her, and we soon after had sex. It was very tight and painful for her at first, so our sessions were very short, but within 1-2 weeks we were having constant, proper sex.
I eventually found out about Guy B. I couldn't decide if this made her a cheater. She wasn't in love with him and was planning to marry him largely to satisfy the wishes of her family. She didn't tell him about us, and was conflicted about marrying him. She texted him a lot and would go out to lunch or dinner with him, but always came right back home to have sex with me. We started going on proper dates too. Guy B eventually figured out what was going on and went through her phone and had a breakdown in her bedroom, wailing like a little bitch for over an hour. She cried with him too, and he later tried confronting me and begged me to tell her to move on. I politely but firmly told him that wasn't going to happen and that I will let her decide if she wants to be with me or him. He refused to give up, and there was this awkward two weeks where she would keep having lunch with him and then come home and have tons of sex with me that he was fully aware of. He guilted her into letting him eat her out for the first and only time, which she told me about right after it happened. She still had all this pressure to move in with and marry him as she had already told her parents about it, but every time she said she was going to move out I would come home to find her still there since she couldn't bear to leave me. Finally, I insinuated I would be her boyfriend if she chose me, and also prepared myself to move on if she didn't. Seeing me ready to walk away coupled with the security of having me as an exclusive boyfriend was the last straw, and she officially broke off things with Guy B.
Anyway, this was all pretty messy, and while I didn't like the fact she kept him in the dark and kept stringing him along and had sexual contact with him once, I chalked it up to the pressure of being Indian and inexperienced and being with a guy she wasn't in love with.
So we kept living together and had a blissful few months. She kept texting Guy B (this guy has no self-respect) which I did not like but tolerated because I knew she was terrified of dating an American who in her mind might leave her at any moment, which was compounded by how open I had been with her about how many girls I have dated and slept with (any number above 2 is high for most Indians. I am way above 2 lol). I thought I'd let her keep Guy B in her back pocket and gradually fade him out as she learned to trust me (and honestly so she would have someone in case I ever did move on from her).
You might be thinking eventually things went bad and in a moment of weakness she went back to Guy B. Surprisingly, it was something else that happened. My now girlfriend decided to return to India for about a month for the first time since leaving. While girlfriends taking trips without their boyfriends is something Chase advocates against allowing, I decided to not make a fuss about it since we were so in love and she was the last person I thought would cheat and Indians aren't that promiscuous. I also didn't want to deprive her of the chance to see her family and old friends, as this is difficult when they live on the other side of the globe. I was a little worried as her being gone this long when we had only been together a few months could cause problems, but I have abundance with women and knew I would be "fine" if anything happened.
It was during this trip that she had sex with, not Guy A as any rational person might have guessed, but Guy C. Guy C was a childhood friend who always had a crush on her. She entertained him during her first two years of bachelors before eventually falling for Guy A, and Guy C suffered in silence. Well, on her trip back she briefly saw Guy A (which pissed me off when I found out) but spent most of her time hanging out with two girl friends and their two boyfriends and Guy C. They toured a few cities and went to Goa. She did not tell me much of this, and I didn't ask because I trusted her. She and Guy C got close during all this time, and she eventually told her sister (who lives in California and already had met me and liked me) she was thinking about moving back to India and marrying Guy C. They were holding hands in public (a big deal in India) and shared a bed at least once. When she came clean, she told me they only had sex once and she didn't like it. I lean towards believing her but who knows.
She finally came back home. Things were a little off, but I attributed this to her shy nature and how long we had been apart, and we had lots of sex that night and things went right back to how they were. We eventually moved to a new, better place and signed a 15 month lease. She never told me about her escapades in India. I finally saw pictures she had taken of the three girls and three guys all together, and we had our first big fight. But she sweared nothing happened and they were all just friends. I believed her, especially since she had taken no trouble to hide the pictures, and things were good again. We grew closer than ever before, and I introduced her to my family and started integrating her with our events. I also began planning to marry her. While I don't love marriage I very much want children someday, and I knew this would be something she would need from me and was I happy to give it to her. This would also give her a green card, so this was a big benefit I considered worth it. We had talked long-term since the beginning, so she always knew I was at least somewhat open to a future with her, and I progressively gave her more progress throughout our relationship (so she had no excuse to get with Guy C).
Her sister became worried when my girlfriend told her she wanted to introduce me to her parents. They are super conservative, so if they introduced me and then something went wrong (like me finding out about Guy C, or Guy C finding out about me), it would be a huge scandal. Until now, her sister believed my girlfriend had only thought about getting with Guy C but never acted on it. Her sister called all her friends and her cousins and pieced together everything about my girlfriend and Guy C holding hands and sharing a bed. She also found out Guy C was apparently waiting for my girlfriend to move back to India so they could get married and that they had kept texting all this time, and that he had even bought her a car. So her sister and her husband flew to my city and texted me about meeting, where they told me everything they knew. I went back home and confronted my girlfriend and asked if she had had sex with Guy C, which she admitted to. She also admitted to staying in contact with him all this time.
...
I am just mind-boggled. Why in the MOTHERFUCKING HELL would this girl who has been otherwise SO GOOD to me and who seemed SO IN LOVE with me throw it all away over some guy she wasn't even in love with when she knew him growing up?? I have been such a good, strong boyfriend to her and she seemed madly in love with me all this time. Not to mention this Guy C is an oafish looking nice guy without any guile.
I had fallen so in-love with her. In a world where Western women are becoming increasingly less suited for long term relationships, I thought I had hit the absolute jackpot and then done everything right. I was the baddest, sexiest guy she had ever met who conquered her and stole her right under Guy B's nose and spent the next 10 months ravishing her in mind and body. How could she have been stupid?! How could I have attached myself to someone so deficient??? How could such an otherwise incredible girl with everything going for her be so screwed up in the head???
This is a waking nightmare. I feel like what remaining innocence I had so carefully protected has been fucking obliterated. I don't know if I can ever reach the intimacy I thought I shared with her with anyone else. My inner darkness and cynicism has fucking won. Even if monogamy is possible for a minority of people, Caleb Jones was right. Indefinite pair-bonding is not natural, and given enough time there will be unhappiness, cheating, and/or breakups. Monogamy is a fucking lie for people like me and the people I keep finding myself most attracted to, just like religion is a fucking lie, democracy being good is a fucking lie, capitalism being evil is a fucking lie, and us mattering in this cold, empty, dead, cruel universe is a fucking lie.
I hit up a girl I briefly talked to at a recent concert, and already have a date scheduled for tomorrow night. We had a long, fun, fairly steamy chat over FT that my girlfriend may or may not have heard (she was crying in the other room). I felt sociopathic vibing with this other girl when internally I am dead inside. My cold, calculated rationality triumphs over my idealistic, much-better-feeling-though-prone-to-betray-me emotions yet again.
I hope someone can help me. I feel so helpless, that no matter what I do things are always doomed to implode, and I can either use girls and feel like a POS or be used by girls and suffer.
"Are a thousand tears worth a single smile?
When you give an inch, will they take a mile?
Longing for the past but dreading the future
If not being used, well then you're a user and a loser"
- From India and a traditional, healthy family with Mom and Dad still together and great relationship with her parents
- Came to America four years ago to get her master's degree, and has a very high paying software job
- Didn't know what sex even was until age 22, and was a virgin until she met me (I still believe this even in light of what happened)
- Is both a fantastic cook and loves to cook for me
- Despite being a software engineer, is super artistic and creative
- Is EXTREMELY beautiful. She looks like she has makeup on while wearing literally nothing. She has HUGE eyes, big lips, and a wonderfully sculpted face
- Despite being 5'2", she has 32C or 32D natural tits (her ass could be bigger, but it is still very perky)
- Is in good shape and hates sweets
- Has never drank alcohol or done drugs
- Extremely feminine
- Loves babies and children
- Was and is seemingly crazy about me
Then we have me. I am very much a catch, even without all the material I have learned from this site. I'm tall, handsome, very smart, athletic, not always the most likable but very charismatic nonetheless, and have a lot of passions. I am also quite experienced with both pickup and relationships. I fundamentally understand anyone is capable of cheating depending on their personality type, how much temptation they expose themselves to or are allowed to be exposed to by their partner, and how much their needs are currently being met in their relationship.
All this said, I thought my choice in girl and how much I was meeting her needs were about as good as they can get. We've probably had sex 600 times this year (really good sex too). I give her TONS of quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and a decent amount of acts of service and gifts. She has been more invested in the relationship than I, always wanting to be with me, always doting on me, always so happy to receive my touch, buying me tons of gifts, cooking for me multiple times per week and paying for meals when we go out, going all out for my birthday recently. She has probably spent thousands more on me than I have spent on her.
There were some concerns I had with her though. In India, she had a pseudo-boyfriend she was in love with (Guy A). I say pseudo because in India everything is very traditional and she had to keep this guy secret from her family since they were from different castes. When she came to America, they tried long distance, but a guy from her new friend group (Guy B) fell in love with her, and while she still loved Guy A she started stringing Guy B along without Guy A's knowledge. Her Indian family was pressuring her to get married, and in December 2023 she finally told Guy A she wasn't going back to India and he should stop waiting for her, and decided to marry Guy B because they get along great and he loves her very much, even though she was never in love with him.
As fate would have it, this is when she met me. She needed a roommate to replace her female roommate who was leaving. I needed a temporary place to stay. It was originally only going to be for 45 days, after which she would move in with Guy B and I would have to find somewhere more permanent. Well, once I had moved in we immediately hit it off, staying up until 1AM talking. The next day I was going to give her space but she made me coffee and food and we talked some more, then later when I came home from work she came out of her room to talk some more. She was looking so good and our rapport was already strong, so I took a risk and brought her into my room to watch a movie. I gave her space and only once tried to put my arm around her, which she rebuffed. After the movie, we started talking and started playing Thumb Wars and the Mercy game with our hands, and I spontaneous kissed her. She got extremely flustered and after a bunch more spontaneous kisses we went started hooking up. We didn't have sex, and at one point she started crying. She told me a little about Guy A and how she had recently ended things with him. She didn't tell me about Guy B. Ultimately, we kept hooking up without having sex, and the next day I was fully prepared to give her space but things were still hot.
We kept hooking up every day and night, getting closer and closer to sex, but she was very nervous about it. After 7 days of this and spending a lot of time together, she told me she loves me. I didn't immediately say it back and was a little concerned with how fast she had told me this, but I knew the potential was there and chalked it up to her being a virgin. I also had recently been ghosted by another girl who told me she loved me after I didn't say it back. So I decided to tell her I love her too even if it wasn't true yet to help facilitate sex happening, which I knew would be good for our relationship. I told her, and we soon after had sex. It was very tight and painful for her at first, so our sessions were very short, but within 1-2 weeks we were having constant, proper sex.
I eventually found out about Guy B. I couldn't decide if this made her a cheater. She wasn't in love with him and was planning to marry him largely to satisfy the wishes of her family. She didn't tell him about us, and was conflicted about marrying him. She texted him a lot and would go out to lunch or dinner with him, but always came right back home to have sex with me. We started going on proper dates too. Guy B eventually figured out what was going on and went through her phone and had a breakdown in her bedroom, wailing like a little bitch for over an hour. She cried with him too, and he later tried confronting me and begged me to tell her to move on. I politely but firmly told him that wasn't going to happen and that I will let her decide if she wants to be with me or him. He refused to give up, and there was this awkward two weeks where she would keep having lunch with him and then come home and have tons of sex with me that he was fully aware of. He guilted her into letting him eat her out for the first and only time, which she told me about right after it happened. She still had all this pressure to move in with and marry him as she had already told her parents about it, but every time she said she was going to move out I would come home to find her still there since she couldn't bear to leave me. Finally, I insinuated I would be her boyfriend if she chose me, and also prepared myself to move on if she didn't. Seeing me ready to walk away coupled with the security of having me as an exclusive boyfriend was the last straw, and she officially broke off things with Guy B.
Anyway, this was all pretty messy, and while I didn't like the fact she kept him in the dark and kept stringing him along and had sexual contact with him once, I chalked it up to the pressure of being Indian and inexperienced and being with a guy she wasn't in love with.
So we kept living together and had a blissful few months. She kept texting Guy B (this guy has no self-respect) which I did not like but tolerated because I knew she was terrified of dating an American who in her mind might leave her at any moment, which was compounded by how open I had been with her about how many girls I have dated and slept with (any number above 2 is high for most Indians. I am way above 2 lol). I thought I'd let her keep Guy B in her back pocket and gradually fade him out as she learned to trust me (and honestly so she would have someone in case I ever did move on from her).
You might be thinking eventually things went bad and in a moment of weakness she went back to Guy B. Surprisingly, it was something else that happened. My now girlfriend decided to return to India for about a month for the first time since leaving. While girlfriends taking trips without their boyfriends is something Chase advocates against allowing, I decided to not make a fuss about it since we were so in love and she was the last person I thought would cheat and Indians aren't that promiscuous. I also didn't want to deprive her of the chance to see her family and old friends, as this is difficult when they live on the other side of the globe. I was a little worried as her being gone this long when we had only been together a few months could cause problems, but I have abundance with women and knew I would be "fine" if anything happened.
It was during this trip that she had sex with, not Guy A as any rational person might have guessed, but Guy C. Guy C was a childhood friend who always had a crush on her. She entertained him during her first two years of bachelors before eventually falling for Guy A, and Guy C suffered in silence. Well, on her trip back she briefly saw Guy A (which pissed me off when I found out) but spent most of her time hanging out with two girl friends and their two boyfriends and Guy C. They toured a few cities and went to Goa. She did not tell me much of this, and I didn't ask because I trusted her. She and Guy C got close during all this time, and she eventually told her sister (who lives in California and already had met me and liked me) she was thinking about moving back to India and marrying Guy C. They were holding hands in public (a big deal in India) and shared a bed at least once. When she came clean, she told me they only had sex once and she didn't like it. I lean towards believing her but who knows.
She finally came back home. Things were a little off, but I attributed this to her shy nature and how long we had been apart, and we had lots of sex that night and things went right back to how they were. We eventually moved to a new, better place and signed a 15 month lease. She never told me about her escapades in India. I finally saw pictures she had taken of the three girls and three guys all together, and we had our first big fight. But she sweared nothing happened and they were all just friends. I believed her, especially since she had taken no trouble to hide the pictures, and things were good again. We grew closer than ever before, and I introduced her to my family and started integrating her with our events. I also began planning to marry her. While I don't love marriage I very much want children someday, and I knew this would be something she would need from me and was I happy to give it to her. This would also give her a green card, so this was a big benefit I considered worth it. We had talked long-term since the beginning, so she always knew I was at least somewhat open to a future with her, and I progressively gave her more progress throughout our relationship (so she had no excuse to get with Guy C).
Her sister became worried when my girlfriend told her she wanted to introduce me to her parents. They are super conservative, so if they introduced me and then something went wrong (like me finding out about Guy C, or Guy C finding out about me), it would be a huge scandal. Until now, her sister believed my girlfriend had only thought about getting with Guy C but never acted on it. Her sister called all her friends and her cousins and pieced together everything about my girlfriend and Guy C holding hands and sharing a bed. She also found out Guy C was apparently waiting for my girlfriend to move back to India so they could get married and that they had kept texting all this time, and that he had even bought her a car. So her sister and her husband flew to my city and texted me about meeting, where they told me everything they knew. I went back home and confronted my girlfriend and asked if she had had sex with Guy C, which she admitted to. She also admitted to staying in contact with him all this time.
...
I am just mind-boggled. Why in the MOTHERFUCKING HELL would this girl who has been otherwise SO GOOD to me and who seemed SO IN LOVE with me throw it all away over some guy she wasn't even in love with when she knew him growing up?? I have been such a good, strong boyfriend to her and she seemed madly in love with me all this time. Not to mention this Guy C is an oafish looking nice guy without any guile.
I had fallen so in-love with her. In a world where Western women are becoming increasingly less suited for long term relationships, I thought I had hit the absolute jackpot and then done everything right. I was the baddest, sexiest guy she had ever met who conquered her and stole her right under Guy B's nose and spent the next 10 months ravishing her in mind and body. How could she have been stupid?! How could I have attached myself to someone so deficient??? How could such an otherwise incredible girl with everything going for her be so screwed up in the head???
This is a waking nightmare. I feel like what remaining innocence I had so carefully protected has been fucking obliterated. I don't know if I can ever reach the intimacy I thought I shared with her with anyone else. My inner darkness and cynicism has fucking won. Even if monogamy is possible for a minority of people, Caleb Jones was right. Indefinite pair-bonding is not natural, and given enough time there will be unhappiness, cheating, and/or breakups. Monogamy is a fucking lie for people like me and the people I keep finding myself most attracted to, just like religion is a fucking lie, democracy being good is a fucking lie, capitalism being evil is a fucking lie, and us mattering in this cold, empty, dead, cruel universe is a fucking lie.
I hit up a girl I briefly talked to at a recent concert, and already have a date scheduled for tomorrow night. We had a long, fun, fairly steamy chat over FT that my girlfriend may or may not have heard (she was crying in the other room). I felt sociopathic vibing with this other girl when internally I am dead inside. My cold, calculated rationality triumphs over my idealistic, much-better-feeling-though-prone-to-betray-me emotions yet again.
I hope someone can help me. I feel so helpless, that no matter what I do things are always doomed to implode, and I can either use girls and feel like a POS or be used by girls and suffer.
"Are a thousand tears worth a single smile?
When you give an inch, will they take a mile?
Longing for the past but dreading the future
If not being used, well then you're a user and a loser"
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