I matched with my ex-gf on Tinder

[POB]

Yeah, shitty dynamics are hard to break, even after a while.
Usually you can turn exes into FBs with a little bit of effort, but you gotta have ended it on good terms (or neutral terms at least).
Also A LOT of time must've passed for it to be good (like 5+ years, more is better)

P.S. Welcome to the boards!!!

 

[belmo]

Well, your responses are "nice to see you" then "where did you get that idea?" and likely other remarks that yield control of the conversation to her.

You need to be flirting, bantering, engaging her in something fun, that puts you in the driver's seat, instead of reactive to it.

That said, this conversation is SO hostile from her, filled with insults and swear words... I don't know if she is usually like that or there is backstory here. If she's always like that I don't know how the two of you even got together in the first place (did you just trade barbs until she wanted to meet?).

If it's due to bitterness over how you both split up, then you need to resolve that and offer her and olive branch, because just circling around responding to her, or even trying to flirt, is going to strike the wrong note, and not address the gaping open sore that the relationship left.

If it is due to bitterness, I wonder what the heck you did to make this girl so very hostile to you...

Just in general, I have a lot of questions about this whole conversation...!

Chase

Well... she has autism and other problems (ADHD, OCD) and relationship trauma. She's a volatile person and her relationships are pretty short. I genuinely don't know what I did!

When we hung out last in 2022, I tried to kiss her when she had a boyfriend and she stormed off from that. Before that, she texted me -- presumably lonely on new years -- and I ignored her, prompting her to say that I "really suck as a person."

I don't know what I did that was so wrong! I guess those things hurt her somehow?

 

[topcat]

BPD

Enough said. The thing you’re doing wrong is expecting consistency from one of her kind.

Move on.

 

[belmo]

I actually don't know if she has BPD. this is pure conjecture. I edited my last post to reflect that.

 

[Conquistador]

I actually don't know if she has BPD. this is pure conjecture. I edited my last post to reflect that.

If you’re familiar with the symptoms, and you aren’t sure, she almost certainly doesn’t.
BPD has a clear pattern.

Well... she has autism and other problems (ADHD, OCD) and relationship trauma. She's a volatile person and her relationships are pretty short.

Unfortunately that isn’t uncommon. Autistic women often have it worse than autistic men in relationships, for various reasons.

A more likely explanation than BPD imo

 

[Will_V]

Well... she has autism and other problems (ADHD, OCD) and relationship trauma. She's a volatile person and her relationships are pretty short. I genuinely don't know what I did!

When we hung out last in 2022, I tried to kiss her when she had a boyfriend and she stormed off from that. Before that, she texted me -- presumably lonely on new years -- and I ignored her, prompting her to say that I "really suck as a person."

I don't know what I did that was so wrong! I guess those things hurt her somehow?

That's the problem with these girls, they make you feel like you've done something wrong when they are treating you poorly. Classic manipulation. And here you are running after her, probably like all the other 'short relationship' boyfriends as well. She probably has a full time job keeping you all in orbit.

Instead of worrying about her, how about thinking of yourself and clarifying what you want, and then looking at her clearly and asking yourself if she ticks those boxes? Otherwise she'll keep pulling you around and messing your self esteem like she's doing now.

 

[Bismarck]

GFTOW

 

[TomInHo]

Well... she has autism and other problems (ADHD, OCD) and relationship trauma. She's a volatile person and her relationships are pretty short. I genuinely don't know what I did!

When we hung out last in 2022, I tried to kiss her when she had a boyfriend and she stormed off from that. Before that, she texted me -- presumably lonely on new years -- and I ignored her, prompting her to say that I "really suck as a person."

I don't know what I did that was so wrong! I guess those things hurt her somehow?

Yeah... forget what I said earlier

You can't handle it and this girl sounds toxic and will just hurt you more. Move on and go meet more sane women for steady relationships

 

[Skills]

I don't know what I did that was so wrong! I guess those things hurt her somehow?

no matter the girl a bast majority will blame you for flaws exagerate wrongs, and sometimes degrade you.... i believe is a women coping mechanism to move on from break ups, they also get mean and hardened...not all, but a lot of them do this, is normal...i think is a form of self preservation...

 

[POB]

no matter the girl a bast majority will blame you for flaws exagerate wrongs, and sometimes degrade you.... i believe is a women coping mechanism to move on from break ups, they also get mean and hardened...not all, but a lot of them do this, is normal...i think is a form of self preservation...

Yeah, thick skin is a must if you wanna play this game.
The funniest thing is, after all that kick and scream, they end-up craving you all over again.
(if you are smart and go no contact after the break-up)

 

[belmo]

lmao we had an exchange over text.

She said that I'm bland and the way I speak is "humorous and exaggerated to the max"? No idea what that means.

i tried to extend an olive branch and asked how she was doing.

She says "bad why do you care?".

I said i happened to be thinking about her when we me matched.

She says "Ok because I'm a witch and i put a hex on you. Sorry about that didn't think it'd work"

 

[TomInHo]

lmao we had an exchange over text.

She said that I'm bland and the way I speak is "humorous and exaggerated to the max"? No idea what that means.

i tried to extend an olive branch and asked how she was doing.

She says "bad why do you care?".

I said i happened to be thinking about her when we me matched.

She says "Ok because I'm a witch and i put a hex on you. Sorry about that didn't think it'd work"

RUN