She’s not “dating” doesn’t mean she’s not fucking. You could’ve reframed it like “bold of you to assume we’re friends already
”
I think she was probing to see if you were one of those guy’s who try and jump into a courtship already sold on dating as in bf/gf.
I doubt it’s salvageable after you blatantly said why you were trying to meet, you gave up alot of power, but maybe someone else could prove me wrong.
Tbh, I am curious too. After his last message, I'm not sure. Rather than communicating through subtext, he blatantly stated he wants to be more than friends. On one hand, it's respectable to communicate his boundaries. On the other hand, it's a potential lost opportunity.
She didn't object to a date when she gave him her number. Though it seems like he flopped a shit test? I guess he could have left out the word "date" and said something like
"making sure I look good", not anything like
"making sure I look good for our date" or
"making sure I look good for tonight". The latter could be spun, as for other ladies she'll help him find an emoji.
I mean, I understand the idea of a hard reset, but I don't think he should have replied so soon tbh. Seems desperate imo and it gives her more power and makes her feel he values her attention. Perhaps it could have waited. Attraction expires, but it could be a chance to create a new impression, surely?
Only recently I started using the word "date" since some girls in the past thought I was not sure what I wanted or they'd come out and thought it was a friendly catch-up when I tried to escalate, they'd freakout
Fuck those girls! haha
Though, if they freaked out, I wouldn't say it was because you didn't use the word "date". It could be how you come across, potentially. Fundamentals, frames, do you seem sure of yourself? Are you a "sexy guy" (see the relevant article). Perhaps the build up/rapport wasn't right? Lots of variables, I would not isolate it to one variable, a word. The word helps you find girls who are interested immediately (by your look/personality/status/money - or what signals the latter 2).
@Shawn dude! Your text wasn't great but it got you in a better position. Firstly you took about 12 hours to respond to her, a quicker response from you would have prompted a quicker response than 8 hours ish. I don't advocate counting the hours or even paying attention at all, it's a really childish game and if you're genuinely busy you really wouldn't notice. She still replied, and faster than you if we're really getting into this.
The investment of your text was ten times more than hers, you overcooked it. The second line about understanding texts was unnecessary and to logical, your emphasis on "date" also ruined the seed, this should have been dropped.
The humour for missing the compliment works but you've just highlighted your previous qualifier... though the cocky funny nature somewhat makes up for it so not all that bad, you got a reply from it.
The key issue is she ignored the seeded meet and focused on being acquaintances. You need to build to a high point before asking again or you'll look clueless. You need rapport and comfort so you need to take a step back and ironically being a witty conversation dude. Use this as a starting point and ask her out within 5 messages. That's your goal to work towards if you're going to persist with this set.
You'll want a traditional follow up message here, share some information and/or ask for some, this is a compliance test.
"Haha acquaintances it is! Hope you've had a good day, I've been busy with work so going out with the dudes tonight. Work hard play hard right? What trouble are you causing this weekend?"
It's lighthearted, shows consideration, shares new information, plays to your working hard joke (call back humour) and asks something about her in a playful way. You're keeping the set open in a social manner.
Evidently, you were right re the investment and the text not being good going by the outcome. Before getting there, I agree with your reasoning. There is no need to explain anything, the logic will get chucked out the window. Girls simply do not give a f--- about that.
Though, I can't get behind the reply timing. If you can reply promptly, I understand. However, if a chap is genuinely busy, they're simply not going to reply to ger quickly. That's the nature of them texting, no? Unless it's at a time you're both home or something, then obviously. But depending on other commitments, it won't be realistic every time.
No contact (reset?) seems like it might have worked. Probably a 1 week, I reckon, with a decent text potentially?
So, when she sent me LJBF text, I quickly googled to see a good response and all the responses were to run away from friendzone like: "no thank you, I already have enough friends", "friends with benefits
", "I don't fuck my friends" etc.. I thought these were all sounding butthurt and thought I'll just be assertive and say what I want to say. So, I ended up sending what I sent. It never occurred to me that it was a shit test.
Anyway, I will have to move on cos I called her today and she told she tested positive for covid. So, there's no way I'll meet her anytime soon and even if she was super-interested to meet, attraction expires. So, it's a lost cause.
She didn't realise it was me and perhaps that's how she picked my call. She asked me, why I called her for which I said "phone is for calling" she said "fair point" but nobody calls her. I said I'm a bad texter and rather prefer calling. I chatted for a short time during which she said "she was lazy" and I said, "I agree" haha and started teasing and laughing which she wasn't expecting and she got all flustered and said she's getting a call and disconnected saying "she'll text me back". I don't think she will and that's ok.
Your last point insinuates that if she knew it was you than you would have had your call screened. Your message seems to have not done more damage to your impression. Probably like a fake nice guy and the lazy remark looks like negging, something every female article she's probably reading and overthinking tells her about identifying red flag men.
It depends on how the conversation went, I suppose. Was it "boring", did she do most of the talking? If yes hopefully you weren't an emotional tampon. That's the worst.
Don't underestimate the impact of your prior message (the one you tried to recover from). That is likely still on her mind and what she associates with you. So this "friendship" is likely seen as fake, and her view of you has likely changed. Even though you've tried damage control, she'll probably stubbornly hold onto her view and will be annoyed (yet flattered) you're fixed on her. Though, when you're with other women and find out she'll be annoyed.
That
might help, especially if the woman is hotter, but by then you won't care.
I think your 1 hour chat was not good or something was not articulated properly. Because if the interaction was good and she was interested it is obvious why you would exchange numbers (to meet again in the future and bang). So I don't think your texting is the problem but the 1 hour interaction was not good at all.
Tbf, we don't know. Depends on the conversation and the woman's personality. While women do socialise more, the more you meet, you will find that there are women that are just downright weird, including with how they reply to things. Though, she may have given her number for the sake of giving her number, or they got on which is more likely. The text reply likely soiled everything.
