Is there a way to get women without Cold Approaching/OLD?

[Licker]

@Loverboy

I personally don't like online stuff. Never was good at it and never bothered to make it work either. That's a personal preference. I like meeting women in the flesh.

That doesn't mean I trash on guys for whom it works.

It requires a whole different skill set and persona. Usually I have seen guys who are photographers or image consultants do very well with it. I don't have the required skill set or mindset for it.

We can argue about efficacy and results. That's okay. Cold approaching might be more efficient when you are good.

But if it works for the guy and he is happy with it, why not just let him do it? You don't have to slam your opinion on him that cold approach is the only thing that works.

 

[Loverboy]

We can argue about efficacy and results. That's okay. Cold approaching might be more efficient when you are good.

Just to be transparent: I've had way more dates through online dating than through cold approach. If I get back to online dating today, my match:date ratio is 2:1. Once you have decent pictures and you have your texting sequences, it's very much copy-paste.
With cold approach, my approach:date ratio is maybe 100:5?

But if it works for the guy and he is happy with it, why not just let him do it? You don't have to slam your opinion on him that cold approach is the only thing that works.

I never said cold approach is the only thing that works. In fact, I've praised online dating:

Depends on your goal. If you just want to get your dick wet, online dating is perfect. Get decent pictures, learn a few texting sequences

Anyway. I've beaten my drum enough, I've said what I have to say on the topic.


@Mr. Yu You've heard a range of opinions. What are your thoughts so far, and, more importantly, where are you at at this point of your life? What's your current experience with women, what have you tried, what are your struggling points?

 

[Mr. Yu]

Just to be transparent: I've had way more dates through online dating than through cold approach. If I get back to online dating today, my match:date ratio is 2:1. Once you have decent pictures and you have your texting sequences, it's very much copy-paste.
With cold approach, my approach:date ratio is maybe 100:5?


I never said cold approach is the only thing that works. In fact, I've praised online dating:


Anyway. I've beaten my drum enough, I've said what I have to say on the topic.


@Mr. Yu You've heard a range of opinions. What are your thoughts so far, and, more importantly, where are you at at this point of your life? What's your current experience with women, what have you tried, what are your struggling points?

Im getting close to 30. Never had a lot of success. Trying to get my money and situation better like the next. It's not much to tell never had a gf yet. Still want a decent amount of success with women before I enter a relationship

 

[dsky]

New forum member here. And I've been reading GC for years. Ive read long enough to conclude that you guys are big on cold approaching but unfortunately I'm not with it. Is there an efficient way to get women without it obviously? Oh I'm not opposed to OLD but frankly had very little success in it

What exact problem are you having with cold approaches? What are you doing and saying? What is the girl doing and saying in response? The issue with not doing cold approaches is you are potentially missing out on having some fantastic women in your life. You have to take your opportunites in life - all of them. That's the way the universe works. Just be you. Unless you're a serial stakler or wierdo.

 

[ulrich]

Nah. Not falling for that one. I know guys who approach and maybe put up these types of numbers that aren't autist. You're just underselling how good you have to be to get laid. Or don't see it because it's easy for you. Definitely not an autist

Are we being literal here and saying “thousand of approaches” literally means one thousand or more approaches?

because if you can’t see the patterns after a thousand repetitions… not sure if autist but something is wrong with your brain.

 

[Will_V]

New forum member here. And I've been reading GC for years. Ive read long enough to conclude that you guys are big on cold approaching but unfortunately I'm not with it. Is there an efficient way to get women without it obviously? Oh I'm not opposed to OLD but frankly had very little success in it

How many cold approaches have you done?

When I see people throw out something like 'I made 100s or 1000s of approaches with no success', my first thought is: what were you measuring? In seduction there are a huge number of different stages:

1. Stopping her/engaging her
2. Smoothly going from the greeting to conversation
3. Going from conversation to slightly sexual/flirty vibes
4. Breaking the touch barrier
5. Getting her number
6. Getting her to respond to the icebreaker
7. Bantering on the phone
8. Setting up the date
etc

and that's not to mention all the steps of the date itself, or pulling her home

The thing is, if you go out and make an approach and it fails, and your only analysis of it was 'oh well we didn't bang, didn't work', that's not going to help you improve, because it's pretty much expected that you will fail to get laid for some time, but you will also get crucial information about where you failed, why you failed, what stages or transitions make you feel lost and confused, etc. And then you can study up on how to deal with the specific point where you tripped up, go and practice and get better at that step, and then move to the next step.

That's why seduction should be an enjoyable thing, because if you feel miserable after every time you go out because you didn't get laid, pretty soon you will feel miserable at even the thought of going out, and then obviously you won't be able to create a good vibe or give yourself the best chance of incremental improvement.

Developing any skill, no matter what it is, is an arc, and your only job each day, or each time you practice, is to move another millimeter along that arc toward where you want to be. Everything else is irrelevant. Because it's a fact that as long as you continue moving along that arc, no matter how small the step, you will without fail eventually arrive at the point where you want to be.

 

[Loverboy]

Im getting close to 30. Never had a lot of success. Trying to get my money and situation better like the next. It's not much to tell never had a gf yet. Still want a decent amount of success with women before I enter a relationship

Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you. I'm not talking down on you, just telling you how I see it.

First of all you gotta understand that the more you have your life in order, the easier it will be for you with women. That means having your money in order, but also having a decent job or being on a decent career path, and also having a hobby or two, having interesting things to say, having a few reliable friends. In my mid 20s it took me a few years to get there. I'm sure guys here would also tell you to get in decent physical shape and wear decent clothes.

Second, your success with women is a skill in and of itself. Women are different than men, I'm sure you've already noticed. They are sensitive to different things than we men are sensitive. If you haven't yet, I recommend you read one of David Buss's books. Evolutionary psychology is the science of understanding how and why women are different from one another. Once you have a decent understanding of women, you gotta understand that the skill of interacting with women takes practice. It's no instant success, you go through trial and error, you get better over time. It's a long grind but very much the effort in my experience.

because if you can’t see the patterns after a thousand repetitions… not sure if autist but something is wrong with your brain.

@ulrich sorry to be a whining bitch about this but I'd like to remind you of the beginners board rules

3. More advanced members are encouraged to help beginners answer their questions and to point them to other existing posts that answer their questions already.

(emphasis mine.)

 

[ulrich]

@ulrich sorry to be a whining bitch about this but I'd like to remind you of the beginners board rules

(emphasis mine.)

No, it’s OK.

I thought a little though love might be a good idea to snap him out of the “I have done a thousand approaches”… which he has unlikely done.

I see your point.

 

[Mr. Yu]

No, it’s OK.

I thought a little though love might be a good idea to snap him out of the “I have done a thousand approaches”… which he has unlikely done.

I see your point.

See this is my problem with some of you guys on this server. With the hard headed know it all attitudes you guys have. I don't need your tough we didn't grow up down from the same street so we're not cool friends.

You have no way of knowing my life story so how the hell would you know how many I have approached. Go try that ish with someone who won't speak up for themselves. But your counter is very weak and no it all when you only know my username

 

[ulrich]

See this is my problem with some of you guys on this server. With the hard headed know it all attitudes you guys have. I don't need your tough we didn't grow up down from the same street so we're not cool friends.

You have no way of knowing my life story so how the hell would you know how many I have approached. Go try that ish with someone who won't speak up for themselves. But your counter is very weak and no it all when you only know my username

Did you actually literally approach a thousand women?

I honestly think that you’re using hyperbole right there and it is only making things worse.

Be real

 

[Gorili]

Did you actually literally approach a thousand women?

I honestly think that you’re using hyperbole right there and it is only making things worse.

Be real

I re-read what he wrote. He said he knows guys who did this, but doesn't specify how many he's approached himself.

At least that's my interpretation

 

[Chase]

Peter Fontes's guide to social circle game is a good place to start:

Meeting Women via Social Circle: The Pros and Cons

Note from Chase: This is the first article on Girls Chase by Peter Fontes, a friend of mine and someone I've known for a few years who specializes in meeting women via social circle and in bars and nightclubs. In this article, Peter runs you through the pros and cons of using social circle for...

www.girlschase.com

There's advanced social circle-adjacent stuff you can do where you are pipelining girls without doing cold approach or online.

I had a coaching client a while back who bought a place by the beach in San Diego then arranged to have the party busses drop weekend partiers off at his beach-front place for after parties every weekend. He'd just go around and mingle with the guests as the host and use that to find new girls. He was a guy who adamantly refused to cold approach, feeling like you were forced to "come in lower value" when cold approaching, which he hated. So he engineered this setting where he was instantly the highest value guy present on meeting girls ("host of the party / owner of the home").

Another guy I heard of hired a hot cocktail waitress to bring him along with her whenever she went to parties and introduce him to her cool guy and hot girl friends. After a month he'd built up a complete social circle with all these people and didn't need to keep paying the cocktail waitress anymore. He ended up with a huge social circle of hot girls and cool guys, banged a bunch of the hot girls, and finally took one of them as a long-term girlfriend.

You can take a job working nightlife, especially one where you will be interacting with hot women a lot, such as promoter or (if you have the muscles/training for it) bouncer. I knew a guy working gigs as a club photographer for a while as an excuse to build up his industry connections and meet chicks, though that role isn't as good for pickup as promoter or bouncer. DJ is a really good one, but of course you need the music skills for that.

Zan Perrion was a model talent scout and swore by that as an easy way to get girls. A natural named Lifeguard from the now-defunct Fast Seduction forums used life-guarding to pick up loads of women. He reported a summer life-guarding at the beach where he and the other lifeguards had a competition to shag the most new girls that no other lifeguard had shagged yet. He won the summer with 50 lays.

@Bismarck used tour-guiding to pick up chicks from his tour groups for years.

Anything where you are the expert at something that hot girls like to do or take classes in works: tennis, dancing, skiing, surfing.

I joined a group of jet-setters and positioned myself as the guy hosting big parties and used that to get laid. Later I ran my own private social club throwing events where we hand-picked members (including all the hot girls we let in):

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more. Contents 1. People Tap Social Media Locate a Connector Hire Promoters Create a Network Build a Social Club 2. Venue House Parties Bars and...

www.girlschase.com

@Teevster hosted after-parties after nights out at clubs he used to get laid.

How to Host an After-Party (That Gets You Laid)

Hi there, how is everybody doing? Today I will write my last post on logistics for a while. Previous posts in this series can be found here: Preparing for a Night That Ends in Sex How to Take Her Home and Extract Her Back to Your Place Going to Her Place: Tools to Get You More “Yes”es How to Use...

www.girlschase.com

Generally these are all going to be a lot more limited than cold approach. The party bus guy, for instance, was banging wild party girls... eventually he changed states, giving up the party bus after-party pipeline, and tried to get his on-again-off-again girlfriend to move with him... she showed up strung out on meth and he had to kick her out. That's why he called me: in a different part of the country, out in the boondocks, no pipeline, no social circle, no girlfriend, online in his area was no good, and he refused to cold approach. So how could he meet girls? (ultimately we settled on him moving to the nearest big city, building up new social circles various ways, then returning to the countryside once he found the girl he wanted to wife)

However, you can certainly make any of these angles work.

The questions to ask before beginning:

1. What can I do that will put me at the center of a social circle / social situation?
   
   
2. Does that circle/situation have a lot of hot girls in it I will easily be able to socialize with?
   
   
3. Are the girls in that circle/situation the kind of girls I want to sleep with / date / one day wife up if I want to wife a chick up?

Once you have your answer, go all out and get yourself established and statused-up within that circle so you can start pulling dates and lays from it.

Chase

 

[ulrich]

I re-read what he wrote. He said he knows guys who did this, but doesn't specify how many he's approached himself.

At least that's my interpretation

Thats the thing.

He is dismissing cold approach while clearly being hyperbolic about how much he has tried it.

Then he justifies it saying he knows guys who probably maybe are hitting these numbers given the weekly volume of approaches they do and they are not particularly successful… which is biased thinking (ie. I saw a guy approach 4 girls one night so he is approaching 4 x 365 = 1460 girls per year).

Then he claims you get an average 5 lays from 100 approaches… which are beginner numbers.

All to say he is trashing on a thing he barely understands.

If OP doesn’t like cold approach, he doesn’t need to do it.
But there’s a difference between “I don’t like it” and “it doesn’t work”.

 

[DarkKnight]

feeling like you were forced to "come in lower value" when cold approaching, which he hated. So he engineered this setting where he was instantly the highest value guy present on meeting girls ("host of the party / owner of the home").

Chase you wrote sometimes that approaching girls indeed brings a slight DLV, and you mentioned that a good seducer knows ways to counteracts this but you didn't extrapolate about it there, so I am curious what are your go to methods, are we talking about qualifying and chase frames?

 

[Mr. Yu]

Did you actually literally approach a thousand women?

I honestly think that you’re using hyperbole right there and it is only making things worse.

Be real

The only thing making it worse is your sheer stubbornness to be right

 

[Mr. Yu]

Thats the thing.

He is dismissing cold approach while clearly being hyperbolic about how much he has tried it.

Then he justifies it saying he knows guys who probably maybe are hitting these numbers given the weekly volume of approaches they do and they are not particularly successful… which is biased thinking (ie. I saw a guy approach 4 girls one night so he is approaching 4 x 365 = 1460 girls per year).

Then he claims you get an average 5 lays from 100 approaches… which are beginner numbers.

All to say he is trashing on a thing he barely understands.

If OP doesn’t like cold approach, he doesn’t need to do it.
But there’s a difference between “I don’t like it” and “it doesn’t work”.

No. Obviously you can't admit when you're wrong. So you like double down even after the fact of someone telling you it's not True. You are the most hard headed person in the thread. You have have to be a meathead just to make yourself seem like you making points when you saying a whole lot of nothing.

First of all Jeffro. There is no Hyperbole you stubborn clown.

Also how is me seeing guys that are cold approaching in my area or the ones I've met over the years biased thinking? That's talking about the guys I've seen do it. Nothing more nothing less. You're bozo brain is taking 2+2 and getting 5. Dude you sound like one of them snake oil preaches trying to get new guests to throw in the collection plate like what the hell is this even coming from?


"Those are beginners" What an absolute moron. Last time I checked most guys that read this site or forum are beginners you fool. Most are not advanced which is why see there is a clear discrepancy of the people who are actually using most of the the advanced material that is getting put up. Chase himself has released at least 2 articles in the last 3 months about how most guys will not stick with cold Approach long enough to get to the next level. So even the owner of the site knows this. But apparently I guy who visits the forum regularly doesn't?

"He's trashing something he doesn't understand" I understand cold approaching perfectly. You getting so offended and defensive is very telling tho. Because it's something you hold near and dear to your heart. Which is a lot of my problems with you idiots that feel you gotta thump your chest every 5 minutes because you have to constantly reassure people that cold Approaching is the best because it's the best FOR U. Not everyone else. Get off your freaking High Horse that you constantly need to feed sugar cubes to. You sound even more biased as those guys trying to seek you that Instagram is the best way to get laid. You obviously are on here where you need to stay because you would be terrible as a teacher.

"There is a difference between saying I don't like and it doesn't work"

That's funny. Because literally all my post highlight the fact that I don't like it you bird brain. You just wanted an enemy to fight to justify cold approach again so you can make a tagline for your crappy website that's never gonna get going. I clear as day said that "I" key word "Ix think it's a massive waste of time. It didn't speak for nobody else fool

 

[Tryst]

You're asking how to get girls without putting in effort to go out and meet girls. Obviously, the answer is social circle, but unless you have a social circle which is consistently bringing in new hot women, you're a bit shot. And then once you meet these hot girls by chance from your work/hobbies/whatever social life you have, do you have the skills to actually consistently lay these hot girls? Or do you need to go out to the club and get some practise in?

 

[DarkKnight]

"Those are beginners" What an absolute moron. Last time I checked most guys that read this site or forum are beginners you fool.

Easy dude, Ulrich is generally a helpful guy. Whatever your problems insulting respected members will get you banned.

 

[ulrich]

You getting so offended and defensive is very telling tho. Because it's something you hold near and dear to your heart.

The only one getting defensive and offended is you, man.

I’m just pointing out that that you’re using hyperbole, exaggeration and second hand experience to dismiss something.

Also, you complain I don’t know you and can’t possibly know your life experience (which is irrelevant) yet make assumptions about me trying to pump up the site view or making a name for myself…
What’s up with those assumptions?

 

[Chase]

Chase you wrote sometimes that approaching girls indeed brings a slight DLV, and you mentioned that a good seducer knows ways to counteracts this but you didn't extrapolate about it there, so I am curious what are your go to methods, are we talking about qualifying and chase frames?

Here you go, man!

How to Counteract the DLV in Cold Approach

@DarkKnight asked (in response to me talking about a client who refused to cold approach because he did not want to ever come in “lower value”): Chase you wrote sometimes that approaching girls indeed brings a slight DLV, and you mentioned that a good seducer knows ways to counteracts this but...

www.skilledseducer.com