It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)

[Orgasmatron]

Orgasmatron is back!

I’ll be doing it all - day game, night game, online game, all the games!

So, if you want to learn exactly what not do, then stay tuned for some epic failure and laugh as I embarrass myself and get blown out time and time again with women who are way out of my league.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Day 1

Song of the day - It's a long way to the top (if you wanna rock n roll) by AC/DC

It certainly is a long way to the top, especially from down here at the bottom.

Today's task - Newbie Assignment Day 4 - Say hi to 6 attractive ladies

Result - abject failure. Number of women Andrew said hello to = Zero

At least it can't get any worse, and if I say hi to even 1 girl tomorrow, I'll have made progress (positive mental attitude!!!)

I did talk to a very cute Hungarian girl, but she was selling me coffee, so it doesn't count. Totally my type - petite brunette - guy who works in the shop with her obviously fancies her, and even more obviously, isn't going to do anything about it. I don't want to be like that, so I need to grow some balls.

I did manage to drink coffee and smoke a load of cigarettes. I need to quit, but I can't quite yet because I have to steady my nerves as I might have a super cute 22 year old sub girl from Tinder coming over during the week. She thinks I'm a dom, and is demanding that I fuck her into next week. Boy, is she in for a surprise! It might happen, but I'm dubious. Need to start reading 50 Shades of Gray just in case.

Also, been WhatsApping Parissa, cutie-pie with a weird name from Hinge. She seems to be super into me, and we are probably going out for a drink on Saturday. I think she's pretty relationship-oriented, so I'm expecting some pushback on my plans for an evening of 'romance' back at my place.

But anyway, this is the cold approach forum, and I did no cold approaches today.

I'm still too scared to talk to girls. So, I need to remember, however scared I am of them, they're more scared of me!

 

[Beam]

Orgasmatron is back!

I’ll be doing it all - day game, night game, online game, all the games!

So, if you want to learn exactly what not do, then stay tuned for some epic failure and laugh as I embarrass myself and get blown out time and time again with women who are way out of my league.

Lol, good to see you back. What's been happening the last couple months?

 

[Orgasmatron]

Lol, good to see you back. What's been happening the last couple months?

Hey man,

Well, I live in Edinburgh, Scotland, so from about November to March, the weather is shit, so daygame isn't much of an option. No girl is going to stand around and chat in the wind and rain. We've had covid masks as mandatory until about 2 weeks ago, so that sucked, and if you went to a bar, it's all table service, no mingling, and they were pretty dead anyway, so they were a waste of time. I was in an accident and had an injury in October, so that totally killed my momentum.

Of course, I could've been on the apps, but I'd never done them before. they weren't really a thing when I was last single about 9 years ago. I only got on them about 2 weeks ago, and it's been going pretty well. Don't know why I didn't do it before.

I had one date last weekend, cute and fun Australian girl, 38 (I'm 43, so that's fine with me) we just got really drunk, it was fun, I'll see her again in a few weeks, and not get really drunk this time, lol. I might have some super horny 22 yo coming over during the week to get railed, and I've got a date lined up with a very nice looking 32 yo this Saturday. And there was a near miss for a same day lay with a petite Asian on Sunday. These girls are all really nice looking too. So that gave me a pretty big self-esteem boost. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of 'not my type' out there online, but it's been a bit of a fast track for me chatting girls up, screening, and dumping the one's I'm not really into or have red flags. I've got a few more potentials on there atm as well.

But, that being said, it's a bit of a time suck and I'm sure getting good at day game is a lot more productive and obviously lots better in many ways. Also, there's no cheating using lighting and angles in real life.

Went to Prague for a few days, got lots of IOIs from pretty hot girls over there. Still have pretty bad AA, but that helped a bit. I led a couple of Dutch student girls round a museum for a while and got blown out by a few local girls, so it was a start.

I spent the time working on my fundamentals, losing weight, exercising, all that stuff. Reading. Visited family, did some other normal life stuff.

Anyway, so the weather's started to get better, and I got myself a new job in the city centre starting soon so I could do approaches at lunch and after work. Of course you can't say that in the job interview - Why do you want to work here? Well mainly because the central location will mean I can practise hitting on hot girls with the intent of taking them home for casual sex. Oh and you're company's great too, and the job obviously is my life. Lol.

So, trying to get started again, get some approaches in, get some momentum going, develop my skills. Going to go out every day, I have this idea that I'll do 100 by the end of May, so let's see.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to.

Cheers!

 

[topcat]

Hey man,

Well, I live in Edinburgh, Scotland, so from about November to March, the weather is shit, so daygame isn't much of an option. No girl is going to stand around and chat in the wind and rain. We've had covid masks as mandatory until about 2 weeks ago, so that sucked, and if you went to a bar, it's all table service, no mingling, and they were pretty dead anyway, so they were a waste of time. I was in an accident and had an injury in October, so that totally killed my momentum.

Of course, I could've been on the apps, but I'd never done them before. they weren't really a thing when I was last single about 9 years ago. I only got on them about 2 weeks ago, and it's been going pretty well. Don't know why I didn't do it before.

I had one date last weekend, cute and fun Australian girl, 38 (I'm 43, so that's fine with me) we just got really drunk, it was fun, I'll see her again in a few weeks, and not get really drunk this time, lol. I might have some super horny 22 yo coming over during the week to get railed, and I've got a date lined up with a very nice looking 32 yo this Saturday. And there was a near miss for a same day lay with a petite Asian on Sunday. These girls are all really nice looking too. So that gave me a pretty big self-esteem boost. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of 'not my type' out there online, but it's been a bit of a fast track for me chatting girls up, screening, and dumping the one's I'm not really into or have red flags. I've got a few more potentials on there atm as well.

But, that being said, it's a bit of a time suck and I'm sure getting good at day game is a lot more productive and obviously lots better in many ways. Also, there's no cheating using lighting and angles in real life.

Went to Prague for a few days, got lots of IOIs from pretty hot girls over there. Still have pretty bad AA, but that helped a bit. I led a couple of Dutch student girls round a museum for a while and got blown out by a few local girls, so it was a start.

I spent the time working on my fundamentals, losing weight, exercising, all that stuff. Reading. Visited family, did some other normal life stuff.

Anyway, so the weather's started to get better, and I got myself a new job in the city centre starting soon so I could do approaches at lunch and after work. Of course you can't say that in the job interview - Why do you want to work here? Well mainly because the central location will mean I can practise hitting on hot girls with the intent of taking them home for casual sex. Oh and you're company's great too, and the job obviously is my life. Lol.

So, trying to get started again, get some approaches in, get some momentum going, develop my skills. Going to go out every day, I have this idea that I'll do 100 by the end of May, so let's see.

Anyway, that's what I've been up to.

Cheers!

welcome back guy

 

[Orgasmatron]

Day 2 and 3

Song of the day - The Wait by Killing Joke
btw the Metallica cover version from Garage Inc. is pretty good too

Spent Tuesday waiting for a delivery that never came, so that curtailed my ability to go out and seduce in the wild somewhat.

Managed 2 hello's in 2 days, (wow, let's throw a party!) but not with any women you'd actually want to get it on with, so I don't think these even count. Anyway, it's a long way short of the 6 target. Try again tomorrow.

Paralysis - saw a super cute girl who was totally within the realms of what I would call ideal. Black hair, petite, slim, cute. wearing all black (I like it when they wear all black, dunno why), 30ish? (who knows? I'm terrible at guessing women's ages). Think I may have gotten an IOI thrown at me - but who can tell really? She was looking over in my direction from the other side of the street briefly, so I got ahead of her, crossed over, did nothing and stood there feeling like a wanker as she looked at me when she walked past. That'll show her.

Paralysis 3some - went to the museum, I thought it'd be good for situational openers. Saw 2 cute girls together, early 20's in the dinosaur enclosure. So I lurked, menacingly, as the feeling of nausea grew stronger in my stomach, and waited for them to cross my path. So when they did, could I say hello? Could I fuck!

It kinda sucks, and I'm kinda annoyed.

I'll continue to document my failures here. Hopefully, the embarrassment of my public self-humiliation on the internet will spurn me into action in real life. We can but hope.

On a more positive note, the decision to get a new job in the city centre was definitely a good choice. I'll have a lot more opportunities to practice my own unique brand of anti-game. I'll be able to avoid talking to lots more girls at lunchtime and after work.

Got another day off tomorrow before I start work on Friday, so I'm sure I'll use that time productively.

Anyway, 6 hellos to 6 cute girls - you'd think it'd be easy. It sounds easy. I dunno how you guys do it. Hopefully I'll work it out. Maybe tomorrow will be the day.

It's pretty fucking ridiculous, isn't it? There's guys on here with lay reports of 4-somes with supermodels and I fall apart at the prospect of saying hello to some wee girl who's probably half my age. I'm not even ugly. I'm reasonably good looking, fairly in shape, probably dress better than most of the dudes out there, well-groomed, and actually have pretty good social skills. I'm a smart guy, funny (debatable I know), a fast learner, I've got a reasonable job - I guess I'm 'a professional'. I've got everything going for me. So why I can't do this? I don't fucking know.

Seem to be getting better at the online stuff, I had some practice at that over the past 2 weeks. That seems easy though. You can wait and think of the best reply to move things forward, analyse the situation and probably more importantly for me, you can hide behind a screen and not have to face an actual woman in the flesh.

Just gotta get more practice at this IRL stuff I suppose.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day.

What else? oh yeah, no reply from the Tinder chick from Saturday who was going to come through and get fucked, so I managed to screw that up as I didn't realize she wanted me to sext her after she sent a boobs pic (no idea how you do that anyway), yay me. And kinda got pissed off with the one tonight who I'd basically convinced to come over some time because I thought she was pissing about and not serious, so gave her an ultimatum which killed the vibe, so I doubt that'll be happening. Why am I chasing you? you're the one that needs me if you want to get laid. I didn't say that obviously. I'm quite a forgiving person, but you make one mistake with these chicks and you're toast. Nobody said life was fair.

 

[topcat]

Keep going. AA is your biggest demon. Your self reflection/self awareness is on point. You also don’t take yourself seriously.

Get over the AA demon and you’ll be seeing results, surely.

Best!

 

[mist]

I have this idea that I'll do 100 by the end of May, so let's see.

20 a week. For 4.5ish weeks.

Very easy to accomplish.

Also worthwhile for your AA.

My only advice is take notes and review every 10 sets.

Write Common Sticking points

I also like to count girls who caught my eye who I didn’t approach. It might seem disheartening at first, but if you write down why you didn’t approach you can work on that or push through. It’s worth it imo.

So if you saw 38 women who caught your eye downtown but only approached 7. You approached out of 7/38 women.

Take note of why and the circumstances that locked you up. Maybe she was walking fast, she was super hot, on the phone, in a group…whatever. Take note why you didn’t approach. Then look up an article on it, find something motivational, remind yourself why you are doing it and celebrate when you have better sessions and write down say one session you get 10/20 women. Maybe pick a day and exclusively try to target sets that rattle your AA more than others. Do days where you approach sets that are easy af with almost no AA.

whatever.

Easy and gets you some small wins and feedback. Also you’ll see the growth and progress which will raise your pride and self esteem in healthy ways rather than defensively.

I’m hyped to see you score bro.

You got this!

 

[Orgasmatron]

Keep going. AA is your biggest demon. Your self reflection/self awareness is on point. You also don’t take yourself seriously.

Get over the AA demon and you’ll be seeing results, surely.

Best!

Cheers dude, thanks for the encouragement. I'll get there.

 

[Orgasmatron]

20 a week. For 4.5ish weeks.

Very easy to accomplish.

Also worthwhile for your AA.

My only advice is take notes and review every 10 sets.

Write Common Sticking points

I also like to count girls who caught my eye who I didn’t approach. It might seem disheartening at first, but if you write down why you didn’t approach you can work on that or push through. It’s worth it imo.

So if you saw 38 women who caught your eye downtown but only approached 7. You approached out of 7/38 women.

Take note of why and the circumstances that locked you up. Maybe she was walking fast, she was super hot, on the phone, in a group…whatever. Take note why you didn’t approach. Then look up an article on it, find something motivational, remind yourself why you are doing it and celebrate when you have better sessions and write down say one session you get 10/20 women. Maybe pick a day and exclusively try to target sets that rattle your AA more than others. Do days where you approach sets that are easy af with almost no AA.

whatever.

Easy and gets you some small wins and feedback. Also you’ll see the growth and progress which will raise your pride and self esteem in healthy ways rather than defensively.

I’m hyped to see you score bro.

You got this!

Thanks man.

I've got a notes app on my phone I jot things down on, so I don't forget

Great idea thanks. I was counting the missed opportunities/could've approached but didn't for whatever reason before - I've got a spreadsheet to keep track of things. I'm a total geek. So, I'll keep doing that. I think it'll be good to see what progress I make and identify sticking points.

Good idea too about keeping track of why I didn't approach and look up articles.

Thanks, yes, got to treat this as a skills development and work on the weakest parts of my game to improve as fast as possible.

Cheers

 

[Orgasmatron]

Stuff that helps - do more of this

Exercise and diet

• The goal is 14% body fat. Started at 30% in October, now 18% - so keep going!
• Complete 8 week fitness program
• I always feel better when I do this
• Get up early and do it first thing and feel like you've accomplished something before most people have even got out of bed
• Stick to 1,500 calories and 150g protein, minimal carbs - this seems to work for me so keep doing it until end of May to hit weight goal, then increase calories to sustain weight and build more muscle

Mental wellness

• Daily journal for 20 mins in the morning - helps collect thoughts and plan for the day
• Meditation for 10 mins in the morning - this helps - keep doing it
• Focus on circle of influence - don't worry about things you can't effect
• Remember you are in control of how you react to things - choose to react positively
• Celebrate wins

Take regular and consistent action

• Daily approaches - set a realistic goal for the day and just do it
• 1% improvement every day yields exponential results - take small steps to improve every day
• You feel good when you've approached and bad when you didn't - do the things that make you feel good!
• Focus on one thing at a time

Stuff that hinders - stop doing this

Smoking, it's stupid and expensive - you keep quitting and then use it as a crutch when you feel stressed - stop it
Inaction and procrastination - just do the thing and do it now
Reading too much stuff - take action, identify sticking points, then find out how to improve that one thing, don't get ahead of yourself

 

[Orgasmatron]

Focus for next 9 days - Thursday 28th April to Friday 6th May

1. Career - New job - this is the most important thing! - make sure you get off to a good start
2. Daygame - Newbie assignment - Get past AA
3. Online - Review interactions - screening, leading, keep purpose in mind

Saturday - Date with P - 3 bounce: coffee, bar, park - eye contact, touch, lead, escalate

 

[Orgasmatron]

Day 4

Song of the day - Choke by Sepultura

In town again this afternoon, told myself I was doing reconnaissance, like I'm a fucking spy or something, so I could pretend that I was doing something when the reality was, I wasn't really doing anything.

Todays embarrassment - On my way home from my recon mission, stopped at some traffic lights, nice looking girl standing there, petite, cute, brunette, wearing all black and everything. Apparently my type, although you wouldn't know from the way I get on.

Anyway, I stood there, obviously I'd noticed her, I was checking her out from the corner of my eye. She'd obviously noticed me too, and knew that I'd noticed her. The road was clear, she could have crossed already before the lights changed. Other people did, but she stood there, beside me, a few feet away. And then she starts playing with her hair! I know what that means. So she's thinking "hey you, please talk to me, I'm nice, I think you look nice too, just say hello, I'll make it easy for you" I know, she basically opening me. And I even know what to say; a witty situational opener "I always wait for the green man, Safety first" She would laugh, it would be on. But I didn't do it.

We both crossed the road, I walked a bit ahead, like your supposed to. I think to myself "just turn round and say something", but no. Got to the next crossing, crossed over together again, and I was basically walking beside her for 30 seconds or so thinking "FFS Andrew, just say something, anything, it doesn't matter what you say, anything is fine, even just make a comment about the fucking weather"

It was actually more awkward to not say something than it was to say something.

Obviously I did nothing.

I'm getting a bit tired of this, as I'm sure you are too. I've got a call on Saturday morning to see about some coaching to help me with this shit.

To quote Ewan McGregor's character Renton from the movie Trainspotting (An Edinburgh story btw - The books great too, but half of it is written in the Scots dialect, so it might be a tricky read for some)

"With God's help, I'll conquer this terrible affliction"

 

[Orgasmatron]

I'm going to dispense with the day numbering and go with dates - This is Monday 2nd May 2022.

Song of the day - Trigger Inside by Therapy? (My favourite band btw)

The lyrics go like this:
"Here comes a girl with perfect teeth. I bet she won't be smiling at me. I know how Jeffery Dahmer feels. Lonely. Lonely"

Cheery stuff, but kind of sums up how I feel right now. Hopefully, if I write down all this shit, I can read it again at some point in the future when things are a bit more sunshine and lollipops and give myself a good laugh.

Anyway, as you may have gathered, I'm not feeling super amazing about myself right now, so instead of just sitting at home alone feeling sorry for myself, I'll take to the internet and detail my embarrassment and humiliation in public. With any luck, I'll be able to work through some of my inner demons and avoid any of the costly therapy (lol, a callback, some comedy technique for you there) that I probably need, but can't possibly afford.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Saturday 30th April 2022

Song of the day - Cigarettes and Alcohol by Oasis

The day began with a call with a dating coach. Seems like a cool guy, and he's going to help me overcome my approach anxiety. It's a tall order and I may be a tougher nut to crack than he's anticipated. But I'm probably not as bad as some and undoubtedly not as special as I think. All the same, I'll not name him, as I don't want my own personal failings to reflect badly on the guy. Let's call him 'Brian Clough' after the legendary maverick English football (soccer for you American boys) coach. I'm sure he'll try his best and that's all anyone can ask. Maybe if I try my best too, I might get somewhere.

I've signed up for 3 months of cold approach coaching involving live calls where I approach (as if, lol) and he listens and holds his head in his hands in despair. He's also going to approach whilst I listen and hopefully learn. This all starts tomorrow, Sunday, but in the meantime, I have a date to prepare for. I'm sure it will go swimmingly.

The date...

So, I manage to convince a girl on Hinge (the dating app designed to be deleted apparently) to meet up with me in public, Lucky her. I'd been very charming on the app and via text, but now I'd have to do it in real life. I was screwed.

I thought we were all set for a drinks meetup at 7:30 when I got a message at about 4 o'clock to ask if we were going to get something to eat that night. I wasn't super keen on the idea, restaurants are expensive and I'd suggested 7:30 specifically to avoid any expectations of a dinner date. But as the panic took hold, I decided to cave in and book a table at a nearby restaurant. I told her I'd wanted to try a place near me for some time, and could she come a bit earlier, as I'd booked a table for 7.

Probably a weak move on my part, but as I have no idea what I'm doing, what else would I do?

She got dropped off by her friend. Not an encouraging sign I thought. She'll not want her friend to think she just bangs random guys off the internet on a first date. Anyway, that's just not what girls do, or so I've been led to believe my whole life.

Anyway, let's cut to the chase.

Restaurant highlights
- Initial mildly awkward getting to know you chat over drinks and food
- We bond over cigarettes - I'd pretended not to smoke (red flag to some chicks I thought) and she smokes 'occasionally' whatever that means. Anyway, I tell her she's a bad influence and we smoke her cigarettes outside the restaurant.
- I pay the bill and she says she'll pay for the drinks at the bar - as it turns out, the bar bill was a little bit more than the restaurant, so technically I'm up! Yay for feminism!

Bar highlights
- More drinking takes place. We talk. I work on developing comfort and similarity. She works for her family's business, family stuff is seemingly important to her. I use this knowledge to my advantage.
- More cigarettes are smoked
- Physical escalation occurs
- Barmaid comments to her "Are you on a first date? It seems to be going very well." Evidently, my physical escalation prowess has not gone unnoticed.
- Booze drank - 3 bottles of beer, 1/2 bottle of wine, and a few sips of her margaritas

The pull
- After too much to drink. I say "let's go for a walk." She complies
- I live 2 minutes walk away from the bar - I don't say anything about going to my place, but just take by the hand and lead her towards it, whilst pointing out a few places we'd talked about earlier and making general chit chat.
- Before getting to my street, I go for the kiss. She complies

My place
- We get in, sit on the couch, and continue with the kissing - no LMR
- I say that we should go in here (ie. my bedroom). She complies
- So, it's on.
- More kissing, some undressing and fondling takes place
- "Do you have condoms?" she asks. "Of course I do" I reply. We continue.
- I ask her what kind of stuff she likes, and she comes back straight away with "anal, but maybe not tonight" and starts telling me about how she was playing with her toys earlier that day. Frankly, I'm shocked. That's just not what girls do, or so I've been led to believe my whole life.
- Anyway, I make her cum a few times with some pussy eating and fingering, a bit of clit massage with the tongue and fingers, and I went quite hard on that 'come hither' motion thing with 2 fingers. She definitely liked that. And apparently, I'm quite good at it. Natural talent. Who knew?
- I tell her to suck and stroke my dick for a bit. She complies

This is where the problems begin.

A bit of first-night nerves and too much alcohol, coupled with my own self-reflective nature, means that not much is happening down there. I get about 3/4 erect but that's about it. Try to put on a condom. Bad idea, that just made it worse. I don't know why I tried to put it on before I was all the way erect. Panic, perhaps. "Do you think it's the alcohol?" she asks. "it's okay, that happens to some guys" She seems cool about it, and I go down on her and make her cum again. There is some more dick stroking and sucking but It's still not happening for me, so we do some cuddling instead and I roll some cigarettes for us to smoke. Some more kissing and cuddling and then some sleep.

We try again in the morning, but the same thing happens. Almost there, condom on before full erection has happened (why? Andrew, why?) and then back comes Mr Soft. I finger her for a bit, we chill, and I make coffee. She hangs around for a while and we chat and smoke outside. I go with her to the shop to buy cigarettes and wait with her for her taxi home.

I send her a text - That was [fire emoji] (I learnt this from the internet btw)
She replies - lol it was that's me home showered and in bed for a nap lol
I reply - glad you got home okay, we'll need to do that again sometime soon. hope you enjoy your nap and have a good rest of the day

No reply, I'm not concerned.

Monday at about 4pm I text this
Hiya, Happy Monday! how's your day going?

No reply, now I'm concerned

 

[Orgasmatron]

Sunday 1st May 2022

Song of the day - I Wanna Be Your Dog by The Stooges

My first coaching session with Brian Clough.

I'll keep it short.

I've got some wireless earphones on and Brian's in my ear and gets me to do some approaches. I go direct. I'm terrible.
Girls are startled and look uncomfortable. Brian assures me it's nothing to worry about and that taking action is the most important thing.

He tells me some other stuff too, and does some approaches at his end. He also gets blown out, but isn't fazed at all. It's all just part of the game.

So, I'm out for about 2 and a half hours with Brian. I do a lot of avoiding approaches that I could've done, and pretend that there aren't very many hot girls about in the city centre on a Sunday afternoon when the weather is reasonably nice. I get the impression Brian doesn't quite believe me and he tries to get me to think about why I'm avoiding them. He also points out some of the things I'm doing wrong. Bailing too early for the most part, but also not speaking assertively enough and seeking rapport rather than using a downward inflexion, and also asking girls where they are from straight away is a bit like I'm interrogating them. There's a lot that I'm doing wrong. But he's very encouraging and it helps a lot.

I stop a very cute brunette, she is stunning. She looks startled. I tell her I think she is cute, and also that she looks a bit startled, and ask her name. It's the same name as my ex-wife, so that throws me a bit. Anyway, she tells me she is on her way to work. I can't think of anything to say and she walks out of my life. I thought she looked like she wanted to get away and didn't think she liked me but Brian says she did.

I'm not comfortable with direct approaches at all. Brian's more of an indirect guy anyway.

I see a super hot girl go into a greetings card shop. She's very beautiful. Blonde, with what I call a delicate figure, slightly taller than me, maybe the same height if she wasn't in heels. Nicely dressed, jeans, blazer, blouse, she looks great. Has a nose ring, which she actually suits. I go in and make some random comment about cards. She turns around, smiles and starts talking to me. She's very attractive and seems really nice. I notice her accent, I say "you're from Manchester I think, aren't you" She is (good guess me) and starts apologising about her strong accent. I say "that's okay, I quite like it". She asks me where I'm from. I tell her Belfast, but I don't have a strong accent like you. More smiles and laughs. We chat for a bit, she's very nice. She's up here for a few days. and her boyfriend's having a nap while she's out at the shops. So, anyway, she dropped the boyfriend bomb, so that's that I guess. I make my excuses and go to leave. Brian tells me to go back and re-open because she likes me. I don't think he heard the boyfriend bomb go off, but I go back in. She's not so keen this time but is still pleasant and mentions her boyfriend again. So I bid her adieu. Briand asks why I left without asking for her number or something and I told him that she mentioned her boyfriend twice.

So more wandering about and avoiding by me whilst Brian does some more approaches at his end. We've been out for over 2 hours and Brian wants me to do a few more before we call it quits for the day. I do some more avoiding and startle a few more girls. Brian does some more and then gets a coffee and talks to a girl in the queue in the coffee shop, she pays for his coffee ( I think this might be an IOI btw) and he says they'll have to sit together after that. I'm not going to cramp his style and we've been out for 2 and a half hours now anyway. I assume he's getting more than a free coffee. He wants me to do another one before I go home.

I wander around for a bit more. See a cute wee blonde with a cute dog. So I go over and say "cute dog" and ask her stuff about the dog. She's quite happy to talk, smiles a lot, I assume it's just because she likes making a fuss of her dog. He's a 1 year old Pomeranian, very nice but he's not allowed in the shops. Anyway, so this seems to be going well until her friend comes out of a shop and off they go. Adios.

Anyway, I did more approaches today than on any day before, so that's something I guess.

Felt pretty positive about things, but that was about to change...

 

[Orgasmatron]

Monday 2nd May 2022

Song of the day - Creep by Radiohead (I'm not a huge Radiohead fan btw, but it's late and I can't think of any other songs that would work for this)

So, Brian had to cancel our after-work date. No biggie, I'll just go approach myself. What could possibly go wrong?

I'm probably being a bit melodramatic, but I genuinely feel quite negative about myself atm. I think I really creeped this girl out and I'm wondering what on earth I think I'm doing. I'm a 43-year-old man wandering the streets trying to hit on chicks, it's not very dignified, is it?

It's probably not that bad, but even so, it's not good.

I was feeling pretty self-conscious. I'm a bit concerned about my lack of performance the other night, and no text back from my date. She'd replied pretty quickly all along and now it's radio silence. I think my hopes for round 2 and a legitimate notch being added to my bedpost have been scuppered. In terms of percentages, it would have been deemed significant growth. I don't really care about the numbers, but I'm not exactly proud of my poor batting average.

Anyway, I'm standing outside the shopping mall in the city centre. It's a bit cold and I decide to have an after-work cigarette. I'm going to quit, it's a nasty habit. So this girl comes out of the mall and walks over and asks me if I have any normal filters. I ask her what she means by normal. Non-menthol apparently. So I pull some out, there are 2 and I say "sure, you can have 2." She's got an accent and is Mediterranean looking - black hair, small, cute, tanned skin.

So, she goes and sits down, rolls herself a cigarette. I stand there for a bit and think "why not." I go over and sit down beside her and ask "where's your accent from?" She's from Turkey, and is studying at university. I ask her how she likes it here (she likes it a lot) what's she studying. Psychology apparently. So I say "oh, so you're a mind reader then?" She's not really taking the bait. It's not a very good line is it? I sit there and try to think of something to say, and ask some stupid banal questions in between awkward silences. I ask her what she's up to tonight. She's going to her friend's birthday party. "How old is she?" I ask. "22" she says. "oh, the big 2-2" It doesn't really get a good response. Apparently, her friend is a he. Some more awkward silences ensue.

She eventually says "excuse me, but why are you talking to me, because you're, y'know, older" I say "oh, I just talk to people. Why? Do you think I'm trying to chat you up?" She just kind of looks at me. So, I say " I am trying to chat you up. How am I doing?" I thought she said I was doing good. So I say "oh..." Then she says "no, not good" and then follows up with "you're actually making me feel quite uncomfortable." So, I say my goodbyes and leave. Went home after that feeling very bad about myself.

I feel like shit. I think I really creeped her out. She's just a young girl, going about her business and she's got to contend with some desperate, creepy old man trying to get into her pants.

I'm a bit worried I'm going to land myself in trouble with all this. And I wonder what on earth I think I'm doing. I managed to startle a few girls yesterday and some of them looked a bit horrified, and this girl today said I was freaking her out. So I don't really know what to do.

I went home, dozed off for a bit. I didn't get much sleep last night. Decided I should eat something, ate some crap. That didn't make me feel any better, so I came on here and wrote this shit. Hopefully I can look back on this at some point and see it as a development step, but that seems like a long way away right now.

Usually, I'd just brush something like this off, stay optimistic y'know, stop being a dick. But I dunno, I'm a bit worried now. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. I suppose there's always the apps, but even the fat forty-year-olds want to date up, so I might be struggling there too. Positive mental attitude eh? Lol. Anyway, let's see what tomorrow brings. Brian Clough better know what to do because I fucking don't.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Update

Hinge girl has not responded to text and has now unmatched me on the app.

I'd better send her an undignified and bitter text tomorrow then I guess.

This will do wonders for my confidence which already lies in tatters.

yay

 

[Orgasmatron]

I think she's blocked my number on WhatsApp now. her pictures not there anymore

fucks sake, what a bitch

 

[topcat]

I think she's blocked my number on WhatsApp now. her pictures not there anymore

fucks sake, what a bitch

get used to it bro, happens every once in a while. less as you improve