I've been in quite the contemplative mood today.
Something I've been deeply interested in is polarity of yin and yang, masculine and feminine, electricity and magnetism. So far looking at the way in this way has allowed me to figure out and implement really cool stuff.
So on this topic is a great book called, "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deda. He explains the book is for masculine heterosexual men, and he goes to say there are various degrees along the spectrum of masculinity and feminine in each man and woman.
I cannot deny my initial rejection of the idea that I could be more on the feminine side. I definitely wanted to be my imagined ideal of the masculine man, so I didn't even entertain the thought.
The thing is, I have always been more feminine. That doesn't mean that I lack masculinity, in fact I am most attracted to feminine women, am dominant in bed and take the leadership role in my relationships and social situations.
What I mean by my femininity is that I am very emotional and have noticed the more I embrace my emotions the more magnetic I am, as is true of feminine beings. People call me intuitive and I also believe in things like fate, and that the universe has a plan and is made of divine love. I like to think the the cosmos reflection your polarity and when you are feminine, it takes on the masculine role and builds the things that you want. When you are masculine, it submits and allows you to build. I say this because I have seen crazy things happen right before my eyes when I embrace my feminine side. When I try to embrace my masculinity in the same way, I get nowhere and frustrated. Yet, I have friends who are clearly masculine who build with the same prowess and naturalness that I have in my ability to attract.
The key is balance. In my youth, my femininity brought many things to me, but to which I couldn't act upon. This is because I had an under developed masculine side (could not approach women, didn't take action, feared risks too much, etc.) and through my journey, I think I have a much deeper understanding of myself. So like the yin and yang symbol, I must give my emotions direction, the black side has a spot of white, and that is to tame the emotions and lead them. My life is amazing when I let things come to me, but I must act upon them, and I must have at least some direction.
To help give you an idea of what this looks like in practice, I'll explain the commonalities in the times that I've had most success in my life.
During those times I would
-Be involved in a musical project (band)
-Have no "plan" just a desire.
-Have a go with the flow attitude about situations
-Regularly Meditate
And the successes... I often tell my fellow band members I'm a good luck charm
-Every girl that I've had a significant relationship with has come into my life through music
-I'll meet lots more women (not going to lie, being in a popular band definitely helps)
-The band will have a curiously easy time landing awesome gigs, for instance the first show my last band played was on a national tour we landed that spanned 50 cities.
-Meet amazing people and make awesome friends
-I'll cross off bucket list goals and have experiences I didn't even know I wanted (Meet lots of Blondes, visit Japan, National tour)
-Once I get past the initial unstable wtf I have no PLAN! part, it feels very natural and fulfilling when it gets rolling
Other notable things that support my theory.
-In high school I always had HOT girls chasing me, despite being shy and lame (magnetic), and would lose them from inaction (undeveloped masculinity)
-When I embrace my masculinity I get nowhere, and feel lost. When I embrace my femininity I see results VERY FAST and experience synchronicity.
-I usually am surprised to see how well pieces and situations have fit together to bring something desirable into fruition.
So why haven't I embraced it more? Well, for one I wanted to develop my masculinity.
Secondly, this doesn't mean I'm going to throw out my masculinity. I still have to approach girls. I still have to work for things. I didn't get on a national tour by looking pretty, I have played drums for over 13 years. Point is, I didn't plan shit. I'm not very organized and I catch myself backwards rationalizing. Perhaps this whole post is one big backwards rationalization, which ironically is a feminine thing to do.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sold on this idea. Writing this both confused the hell out of me and cleared some things up. Maybe I'm not jumping to a conclusion too fast. There may be a lot more to the picture I'm not seeing, especially because after writing this it just seems like my cool experiences are side effects of being in a band. But I have a track record with this and it deserves a thorough revisiting.
Regardless, I think it is vital to have an understanding of both masculine and feminine elements within you. Just as I need to develop my masculine side to capitalize on my opportunities, Masculine men can benefit from developing their feminine side to attract and be intuitive about opportunities.
