Leaving your super analytical personality

[Spyce D]

Anyone here who has been a super analytical guy but was able to either to tone it down or leave it .

I will be glad to know about it cuz I am fucking things up with chicks and in general cuz of being so analytical to the point where even the chicks who could be in my lap end up flaking .

And seeing the guys who ain't that analytical and a bit of a "natural" gamer getting more results .

 

[Kvothe]

practice and deliberate effort

don't use alcohol (it'll become a crutch)

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[Spyce D]

don't use alcohol (it'll become a crutch

Yeah ....I have been using it to get out of my head

 

[Will_V]

Anyone here who has been a super analytical guy but was able to either to tone it down or leave it .

I will be glad to know about it cuz I am fucking things up with chicks and in general cuz of being so analytical to the point where even the chicks who could be in my lap end up flaking .

And seeing the guys who ain't that analytical and a bit of a "natural" gamer getting more results .

What are some examples of times you've lost the girl because of that, and what things have you tried to fix it?

Being present is the best way I've found to deal with being over analytical.

1. Relax yourself
2. Focus on whatever is most erotic about the girl right now
3. Enjoy that thing and how it makes you feel, and let it create impulses in you to get closer, to touch, to smile, etc.

Think of yourself like a dog and she's a cat. A dog doesn't analyze a cat and plan ahead about what it wants to do. It just gets excited and starts swatting and sniffing and shoving its nose in and messing around. That's the sort of energy that girls love to be in.

 

[Spyce D]

What are some examples of times you've lost the girl because of that, and what things have you tried to fix it?

There have been times where girls were "asking" to be kissed , asked out or things being escalated but my mind would start analysing .... And sometimes it would analyse over minute things chicks would say ... Making me think that she is no longer interested and then later it turned out that it was nothing .... And I lost her due to this.

I would say that all I have done is to get reference experiences and if the same situations arise then I am able to do things correctly but say a new situation arises then I start over-analysing and fuck things up .

Having a hard time keeping my inner peace there ... Even though I don't show it outside and i become non-reactive to the situation but I generally don't take any proactive measures to counter what's in front of me .

Think of yourself like a dog and she's a cat. A dog doesn't analyze a cat and plan ahead about what it wants to do. It just gets excited and starts swatting and sniffing and shoving its nose in and messing around. That's the sort of energy that girls love to be in.

Yes. I have seen it with a some of guys in social circles... They have this playful demeanour that chicks don't want to leave by their side .

And I feel like my every conversation is a calculated ( to myself) adventure or like I want to say things correctly all the time ... Even if what I am saying is something emotional.

 

[Spyce D]

Relax yourself
2. Focus on whatever is most erotic about the girl right now
3. Enjoy that thing and how it makes you feel, and let it create impulses in you to get closer, to touch, to smile, etc.

When I am with a girl , these days I am able to do to a certain level but after our interaction/ date is over ..
My mind start analysing about what we talked , and everything... And if she really meant what she said etc.

That takes the fun out of game.

 

[Spyce D]

For some reason , I am not able to edit my posts ..
So I will write here , I am getting present in the game but in the crucial moments ( generally, during the end game ) ,.I lose this ability.

 

[Spyce D]

Shit .

What I really was asking is over analysing after the interactions , dates etc. not during it .

@Will_V @Kvothe . Seems like my question gave a different idea.

 

[James D]

I've had this problem for a looooooong time.

Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now is the only resource that helped me learn presence.

These days I flow through life fully alert, fully present, IN the moment.

 

[Will_V]

@Spyce D I'm not totally clear on what the problem is, you say you are losing presence during the 'end game' but then you say it's afterward that you get analytical?

Even if the problem is getting super analytical after the fact, the solution is still to be present - with the next thing you're doing, whether that's got anything to do with women or not. Tranquility is when you are present in all things, at all times, letting the past go and embracing whatever is in front of you, no matter how small of a thing it is.

I believe that at the root of anxiety - and most mental difficulties - is the inability or unwillingness to accept. To accept the past, to accept the future, to accept yourself as you are, to accept a risk or a threat or something outside your control. To be at peace, you have to practice acceptance in all things, and that enables you to be more aware and active in the present.

To be accepting, even in adverse circumstances, is not to be immobilized or passive or defeated, it is simply to release what it no longer in your domain of control, and immerse yourself in what is in your hands right now, all the time.

 

[Spyce D]

I'm not totally clear on what the problem is, you say you are losing presence during the 'end game' but then you say it's afterward that you get analytical?

Kind of yes . Hard to explain right now as head ain't clear .

To be accepting, even in adverse circumstances, is not to be immobilized or passive or defeated, it is simply to release what it no longer in your domain of control, and immerse yourself in what is in your hands right now, all the time.

.

 

[Adventurer]

Being analytical is a huge strength. You shouldn't want to get rid of it. It's the thing that makes you course correct when things go wrong in a seduction and still get the lay. The problem is more about getting in your head, be too nervous and making mistakes... Which in my case went away with experience (recognising situations because I've been there before)

+1 to Power of Now, it's an amazing book.

 

[POB]

Anyone here who has been a super analytical guy but was able to either to tone it down or leave it .

I will be glad to know about it cuz I am fucking things up with chicks and in general cuz of being so analytical to the point where even the chicks who could be in my lap end up flaking .

And seeing the guys who ain't that analytical and a bit of a "natural" gamer getting more results .

Do stuff that requires you to be spontaneous:
- dancing
- talking to strangers
- silly videogames (not competitive ones)
- taking care of a pet
- cooking on the spot without a recipe
- hiking, biking, surfing (or any non-competitive sport tbh)

 

[Bismarck]

Lift weights.

Focusing on your body and shutting off your rational mind, getting those endorphins, the delayed dopamine release, all that will force you to chill the fuck out.

 

[Mikedee]

I've had this problem for a looooooong time.

Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now is the only resource that helped me learn presence.

These days I flow through life fully alert, fully present, IN the moment.

Man, I read that book like three years ago, and the same day I started, I tried one of the principles, just focused on my breath, and, no lie, ended up smashing this fine-ass woman that same night. Still don’t know if it was the technique or just dumb luck.

 

[James D]

Man, I read that book like three years ago, and the same day I started, I tried one of the principles, just focused on my breath, and, no lie, ended up smashing this fine-ass woman that same night. Still don’t know if it was the technique or just dumb luck.

Hahaha man that's a crazy story.

But yeah, I get you. The very same day I read the book, I applied the principles and became more present than I've ever been.

I don't know about Tolle's broader spiritual teachings. I know some criticize him for being new age bullshit.

But what he did with The Power of Now is simply brilliant.