FR MadisonAvenue

[Marty]

Here's another straight number-close, but I want to document it, because (a) the circumstances are entertaining and (b) I'm wondering what to do next. The girl is of exceptionally high value, but I fear I've blown it.

After an exceptionally unrewarding visit to an outdoor festival Sunday, consisting of getting utterly blown out by the first three girls I approached and being told the next two had boyfriends, I head out in the early evening to get some exercise, with no thought of the female sex in my mind. By about 7 PM the air temperature has dropped enough to run outdoors. There is a network of long pedestrianized trails in our city that were conceived as a redevelopment effort to replace disused railroad lines and provide opportunities for outdoor recreation. The park is still in use for the festival, so I try this trail for the first time.

I am making a steady average pace of about 07:00 per mile, when just under 2½ miles into my run, I behold a spectacle that turns my legs to jelly. Perched astride a vintage-looking yellow bicycle is what appears to be a goddess taking a photograph. Dressed for the 75-degree evening air in black cotton shorts of the minimum achievable length that is still an outer garment and not a piece of underwear, she has one honey-and-cream-colored leg bent at the knee and resting on a pedal, the other outstretched to its full, glorious length supporting her weight upon the ground. With elbows pointed outward as she holds the camera steady with both hands, her breasts are thrust forward and her long, black hair rests on her bare shoulders.

I start to feel faint.

I come to a standstill on the opposite side of the footpath, wiping my face with a red washcloth. It takes me only a few seconds to get my breath back, and I'm about to walk over and open her, when she sets off on her bicycle again. As she departs she sees me, gives me a devilish smile and her black eyes shoot out a look of challenge and amusement. She accelerates to her previous pace, a leisurely enough speed... for a bicycle.

An older woman weeding a garden nearby sees this, winks at me and laughs. I am silently thankful for my own prescient resolve to stay fit.

The plan was to run 3 miles, then turn back the way I came, making a 6-mile roundtrip. Well, the plan is now in the wastebasket. I take my pace up to 06:30. The yellow bicycle is already disappearing over the horizon. I am too old for this. I push past the 6-minute pace, to 05:55. I glimpse the girl occasionally. Perhaps I can keep pace with her, but there's no prospect of catching her, surely? There are townhouses to the side of the path; perhaps she lives in one of them, perhaps she's turned off and gone home already.

I can't give up. The dark hair–pale features combination renders me incapable of rational thought every time, folks

Lengthening my stride and remembering everything I was taught about technique, and ignoring any protest from my legs or lungs, I bring the pace as far as 05:38. This is after over 3 miles of running and I am 38 years old. Of a sudden, in the distance, she is there. Turned toward me, stationary—what bliss!—and taking another photograph.

I don't lose any time this time around. The moment she is done with the snapshot, I walk toward her. She sees me coming and makes very encouraging eye contact.

I indicate with a gesture for her to take out her earbuds, and she complies. Barely suppressing a smile—my eyes give it away—I gesture back down the path in the direction of where I first saw her 4,000 feet or so behind.

• Marty: I wanted to tell you—back there—that your city photo would've looked much nicer with you in it on your yellow bicycle. But you sped off before I could open my mouth! I'm so glad you stopped again; I'd never have been able to catch up otherwise.
  
  MadisonAvenue: Oh! Hahahahaha!

Peals of celestial laughter from Aphrodite at the discomfiture of this starstruck mortal.

I ask her name and take her hand. Then:

• Marty: Are you enjoying your bike ride on this warm evening?
  
  MadisonAvenue: Yes, I am, thank you! What about you?
  
  Marty: Well, I was enjoying my run, until—
  
  MadisonAvenue: —until I "distracted" you. Right?

I give her a look. She gives me a look right back. Residents of Mount Olympus are accustomed to this sort of attention.

• Marty: So, what do you do?
  
  MadisonAvenue: Market research, is the simple answer.
  
  Marty: Are you with one of the big firms?
  
  MadisonAvenue: I'm with an advertising firm, but I lead their market research function.
  
  Marty: Oh? And how long have you been doing that?
  
  MadisonAvenue: Ten years or so.

Dumbfounded, I take an ill-disguised closer look at her, but despite my best efforts cannot make out anything beyond youthful perfection. She notices this, and continues:

• MadisonAvenue: Yes, really! I'm 33.
  
  Marty: Closer to my own age than I'd have ever imagined. Are you from this part of the country?
  
  MadisonAvenue: No, I'm from Philadelphia.
  
  Marty: And how long have you been in our city? Do you feel at home here now?
  
  MadisonAvenue: 3 years... I discovered this outdoor trail as soon as I arrived and from that moment on I was as happy as can be.
  
  Marty: So, I know Philadelphia is pretty densely populated, but...
  
  MadisonAvenue: Pretty densely populated, but with plenty of parks and recreational spaces to compensate. (She looks off into the distance.)
  
  Marty: It sounds as if you miss it. Do you go back often?
  
  MadisonAvenue: I do miss it. I was there this weekend, actually. Just flew back in and now I'm out on my bike.
  
  Marty: Well, you must be tired. I shouldn't keep you. But this combination of skin, hair and eyes (I indicate her body) just plays games with my head.
  
  MadisonAvenue: (giggles) Oh thank you!
  
  Marty: Would you like to get a bite to eat with me?

She keys her number into my cell. I don't kiss her cheek, as I am still sweaty. I tell her I have come much farther than intended (I am exaggerating a little for effect) and turn back. She heads in the same direction, but of course much faster.

The 07:00 pace feels like an easy jog by comparison. About 1½ miles into the return journey, I see her again; she waves and I wave back.

After showering, I text her:

• 
  Sun 9:00 PM—Marty: Good to meet a fellow lover of the outdoors, MadisonAvenue! Hope you have a relaxing evening -Marty
  
  Sun 9:41 PM—MadisonAvenue: Likewise, sir! Thank you for all the sweet compliments. Hope you've recovered from your run!

She mocks me even in my absence, the little tease!

About 24 hours later, at 9:40 PM Monday, I call her. She's not available, so I leave a voice message. "Hey MadisonAvenue, this is Marty calling. Too bad I missed you, I guess we'll catch up some other time. Bye."

I haven't heard back. I'm not going to be in town this weekend, and I'll be pretty jet-lagged when I return, so I think I'll refrain from further contact for at least a week unless I hear from her first.

But this is the point where in the past I've often lost high-value girls who seemed interested, such as UndueInfluence and BeOfGoodCheer. So I hope that doesn't happen. I doubt there's anything I can do now other than just sit and wait...

-Marty

 

[Casanovelis]

The plan was to run 3 miles, then turn back the way I came, making a 6-mile roundtrip. Well, the plan is now in the wastebasket. I take my pace up to 06:30. The yellow bicycle is already disappearing over the horizon. I am too old for this. I push past the 6-minute pace, to 05:55. I glimpse the girl occasionally. Perhaps I can keep pace with her, but there's no prospect of catching her, surely? There are townhouses to the side of the path; perhaps she lives in one of them, perhaps she's turned off and gone home already.

I can't give up. The dark hair–pale features combination renders me incapable of rational thought every time, folks

Lengthening my stride and remembering everything I was taught about technique, and ignoring any protest from my legs or lungs, I bring the pace as far as 05:38. This is after over 3 miles of running and I am 38 years old. Of a sudden, in the distance, she is there. Turned toward me, stationary—what bliss!—and taking another photograph.

The only time it is acceptable to "chase" lol

 

[Mr.Rob]

First off this is a hilariously well told story. Kept me on the edge of my seat Marty.

I can't believe you kept up the pace for that long I would've given up as soon as I would've had to run!

I'm short for time but I think basically where you went wrong was the fact you were literally in hardcore chase mode. Literally.

I don't have much issue with the initial chase down since that was a cool story and genuine but this dialogue rubbed me a bit the wrong way.

Marty: Well, you must be tired. I shouldn't keep you. But this combination of skin, hair and eyes (I indicate her body) just plays games with my head.

MadisonAvenue: (giggles) Oh thank you!

Marty: Would you like to get a bite to eat with me?

Assuming you're keeping her and then asking if she would like to get a bite to eat rather than commanding and saying the command like you would a question.
"Xyz intrigues me about you.. lets grab a bite to eat together when our schedules line up so I can dig into you a bit deeper "
Lol probably already knew this but you asked for commentary this is what struck me.

As far as where to go next I think your plan is as solid.

Keep it pimpin, pimpin.

-Rob

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hey Marty!

Peals of celestial laughter from Aphrodite at the discomfiture of this starstruck mortal.

Laughed hard at this!

This is a hard approach to pull off because the amount of effort required of you to even make the approach already puts you on the back foot. This is like the antithesis of the Law of Least Effort.

I don't know if you know anything about Push-Pull and how it relates to attraction, but what I notice about this approach is that it is VERY heavy on the Pull. Pull refers to giving her value (pulling her toward you), while Push refers to taking a bit of it away (Pushing her away). Like we know in this game, everything is about balance: too much Push and she auto-rejects because you're a jerk and not attainable, too much Pull and you're a low value nice guy who is too attainable because nobody wants him.

Running balls out after a girl to talk to her already puts you pretty heavy on the Pulling side. Complimenting her gives her even more value over you. When you're Pulling hard like this, it's a good idea to Push her a bit to balance things out. You can do this by challenging or teasing her. You can challenge her by asking her "Why?" questions. "Why did you get into Market Research?" Now you're screening her! You could have teased her about her old bike, "That's an interesting bike, my grandma's got one just like it" . A little bit goes a long way here, so don't overdo it.

Finally, I know you don't like texting, but texting requires the least amount of effort of the girl which is why they respond more readily then calls. Getting an unexpected call from a new guy can be really nerve racking for a girl, so she'll often just let it go to voice mail. Totally understandable, I do the same thing when I get unexpected calls.

If you must talk to her on the phone, your best bet is to text her first, then immediately call her as soon as she texts back. There's no excuse then. You both know she has the phone in her hand, so it puts pressure on her to pick up. She will most likely be nervous for the first few minutes of conversation, but once you can hear her relax and open up on the phone, arrange the date.

 

[Marty]

Assuming you're keeping her and then asking if she would like to get a bite to eat

Rob, I think I might have said "You must be just about ready for bed" or something of that sort, in any case it was an expression of sympathy based on an assumption of tiredness following travel (this was a Sunday evening). Frankly, I knew there was no way I could pull off an "instant date" (I was dressed for exercise and sweating) so I needed to find a way to close things down, "seed" a possible later meet and get her number.

I don't know if you know anything about Push-Pull and how it relates to attraction

ProblemSolving, very happy that you came back to me, thank you. I've been away traveling and this is my first opportunity to address what you wrote.

I've obviously encountered the "Push-Pull" terminology several times on this site, not sure how much I want to "Push" away a girl of such obvious quality, though. Not sure I really understand the principle behind it, either.

You could have teased her about her old bike, "That's an interesting bike, my grandma's got one just like it" .

I think I said that her bike looked like something out of a turn-of-the-century Parisian print. She kinda took it as a compliment to herself though and said a lot of people mistake say she has a French look about her. So assuming a "Push" was desired I guess it lost its effect rather

Finally, I know you don't like texting, but texting requires the least amount of effort of the girl which is why they respond more readily than calls.

It's not that I don't like texting as such, it's just that it doesn't seem to get very good results. With one girl recently, for example, I was texting with her back and forth till I was blue in the face, but when I called, even though it was a missed call, she called me back in a couple hours and we sorted everything out on the phone, finally putting to rest most of her prior teasing of me into the bargain.

If you must talk to her on the phone, your best bet is to text her first, then immediately call her as soon as she texts back. There's no excuse then. You both know she has the phone in her hand, so it puts pressure on her to pick up.

That is actually such a solid recommendation, ProblemSolving. As it happens, I once used this purely by chance and it got me a very enjoyable date. Must now adopt it as an intentional tactic. Thank you.

Right, I need to research this Push-Pull thing because frankly I don't quite get why she needs Pushing. Curious to find out.

Thanks ever so much for your help.

First off this is a hilariously well told story. Kept me on the edge of my seat Marty.

Ah, thanks, Rob, enjoyed writing it up too!

-Marty

 

[ProblemSolving]

I've obviously encountered the "Push-Pull" terminology several times on this site, not sure how much I want to "Push" away a girl of such obvious quality, though. Not sure I really understand the principle behind it, either

Girls want guys that are a little above them in value, not below them. When you do nothing but pump a girl's value, she has no other choice but to think that she is above you and if she thinks she's above you in value, you get dumped in the Friends bin. Challenging, teasing, Bored Looks, and Scarcity all Push girls away a little bit, but it prompts them to work for your attention and affection which increases your value.

I want you to imagine yourself in a parallel universe where you're walking down a path at the park and a young girl runs to catch up with you. She opens you, and the two of you have a conversation in which she is very complimentary. At the end of the conversation, you feel pretty damn good about yourself - that girl made your day! But at the same time you can't help but feel like this girl probably doesn't have many options available to her if she was that impressed by you.

Now imagine that same girl runs up, compliments you, but also asks some tough questions and teases you about where you live. At the end of the conversation, you feel good, but you can't quite figure her out. At first you thought she desperate for the D, but now you're not quite sure. Whatever the case, you definitely want to see how this plays out!

Girls can't chase you if you never Push them away.