So today I went to a college campus. I've been looking forward to this for a while as I realized that there would be many many girls there and I figure that this could be a chance for me to test out what I learned from reading lay reports. I felt like I would be free since I'm just using the one campus to apply to study in another campus, as a result I would probably never see anyone from there again. The first thing I wanna tackle is keeping calm in social interactions.
However, this didn't really happen.
I only spoke to a girl once and that was when her and I had to sit together as we were registering for the college. It was kinda awkward but it went well all things considered.
The guy helping me register led me to his cubicle where the girl was and offered me a seat as he went away somewhere.
She was about to answer me but the guy came back. He gave the two of us some forms to fill out. We each had 4 forms to fill. But the many documents on the table kinda made it look like we were gonna fill out a whole book.
In my peripheral I see the girl giggle but she seems to be holding it in.
Anyway, at this point there weren't anymore topics anywhere near my mind. So I hunched over my papers and started scribbling. She's going through her papers in an almost graceful manner.
She finishes first. I wanna say: "ok, I can see you waiting for me. Just gimme a minute
".....but I chicken out.
I finally finish (after getting another form for making a mistake) I lean back in my seat.
I wanna say:"ok, I'm done. So now I can give you the attention you've been waiting for"....but I chicken out.
So now we just chilling inside of a cubicle of awkwardness.
Eventually I just muster up the courage to ask: "Sooooooooo.....how ya dooooing?" *i ask this using Isabella's tone of voice from phineas and ferb whenever she asks phineas "what ya dooooing?" in her curious tone.
She giggles.
Yes!!!
Guy comes back at this point.
They talk and talk, blah blah. And then he takes her away. He leaves first and she falls behind as she has to take her documents. I'm not really sure if I'm remembering this correctly but.....she seemed to be taking them quite slowly.
I'm not sure if this is an approach signal or if she's just trying not to drop stuff. But eventually she finishes and without looking my way (still looking down but this time down and away from me) she says:
Bye.
Anyway, I'm just glad I managed to speak to somebody today. But the one thing I realized today was that a lot of the time whenever I see somebody approachable, the one thing I kept thinking was:
What if I go and people notice?
OR
What if she rejects me and people hear?
OR
What if she accepts me and people notice?
I know this was a bit of overeaction on my part because I won't see those people again. But I realize that the emotions I felt when asking those questions (which were still strong enough to give me approach anxiety) are going to triple in size when I end up on a campus where I might run into the same women over and over again and the same guys and crowds over and over again.
After visiting the college I went to a mall to redeem myself but mostly to check it out. But the same thing kept me from approaching.
I had a reputation of being weird in my highschool. I'm quite sure everybody I know said that at least twice. I don't wanna carry that over to college by being rejected everywhere I go and then having to next a whole lotta students. I read the lay reports and the way the guys acted was so socially inept that it seemed impossible for them to get a bad rep.
So what do ya think? Am I overthinking things? Or should I still tread carefully this year. Sure it will be slow but at least my rep won't be reviewed as the guy who is rejected by one and by all.
All opinions are welcome and I can't ask anymore questions as I haven't the slightest clue as to how I can go around this.
If the weird reputation is something I have to go through to gain experience (I.e, there is no escape from being a jester first and then peasent and then king) then I'll go through it happily since progress is my main objective.
However, this didn't really happen.
I only spoke to a girl once and that was when her and I had to sit together as we were registering for the college. It was kinda awkward but it went well all things considered.
The guy helping me register led me to his cubicle where the girl was and offered me a seat as he went away somewhere.
Me: hello
Her: hi
Me: how are you?
Her: fine thanks you? (I couldn't hear if she actually said the "thanks you?" part as she was already speaking softly. But she was giving me a pretty cute smile tho.
Me: what are you applying for?
Her: pshychology
Me: awesome. I wanted computer sciences. But I met so many awesome lecturers that I don't know anymore
Her: *head nod while smiling and starts looking away*
Me:......
Her:......
Me:.......so have you always wanted psychology or did somebody inspire you?
She was about to answer me but the guy came back. He gave the two of us some forms to fill out. We each had 4 forms to fill. But the many documents on the table kinda made it look like we were gonna fill out a whole book.
In my peripheral I see the girl giggle but she seems to be holding it in.
Anyway, at this point there weren't anymore topics anywhere near my mind. So I hunched over my papers and started scribbling. She's going through her papers in an almost graceful manner.
She finishes first. I wanna say: "ok, I can see you waiting for me. Just gimme a minute
".....but I chicken out. I finally finish (after getting another form for making a mistake) I lean back in my seat.
I wanna say:"ok, I'm done. So now I can give you the attention you've been waiting for
"....but I chicken out. So now we just chilling inside of a cubicle of awkwardness.
Eventually I just muster up the courage to ask: "Sooooooooo.....how ya dooooing?" *i ask this using Isabella's tone of voice from phineas and ferb whenever she asks phineas "what ya dooooing?" in her curious tone.
She giggles.
Yes!!!
Guy comes back at this point.
They talk and talk, blah blah. And then he takes her away. He leaves first and she falls behind as she has to take her documents. I'm not really sure if I'm remembering this correctly but.....she seemed to be taking them quite slowly.
I'm not sure if this is an approach signal or if she's just trying not to drop stuff. But eventually she finishes and without looking my way (still looking down but this time down and away from me) she says:
Bye.
Me out loud: bye
Me in my mind: bye
Anyway, I'm just glad I managed to speak to somebody today. But the one thing I realized today was that a lot of the time whenever I see somebody approachable, the one thing I kept thinking was:
What if I go and people notice?
OR
What if she rejects me and people hear?
OR
What if she accepts me and people notice?
I know this was a bit of overeaction on my part because I won't see those people again. But I realize that the emotions I felt when asking those questions (which were still strong enough to give me approach anxiety) are going to triple in size when I end up on a campus where I might run into the same women over and over again and the same guys and crowds over and over again.
After visiting the college I went to a mall to redeem myself but mostly to check it out. But the same thing kept me from approaching.
I had a reputation of being weird in my highschool. I'm quite sure everybody I know said that at least twice. I don't wanna carry that over to college by being rejected everywhere I go and then having to next a whole lotta students. I read the lay reports and the way the guys acted was so socially inept that it seemed impossible for them to get a bad rep.
So what do ya think? Am I overthinking things? Or should I still tread carefully this year. Sure it will be slow but at least my rep won't be reviewed as the guy who is rejected by one and by all.
All opinions are welcome and I can't ask anymore questions as I haven't the slightest clue as to how I can go around this.
If the weird reputation is something I have to go through to gain experience (I.e, there is no escape from being a jester first and then peasent and then king) then I'll go through it happily since progress is my main objective.
