OR Malls and bookstores

[ocantu1987]

Went out today to barnes & noble @11:00am got a coffee at starbucks then looked around and I saw nothing but families no women it sucked.I left there and went to the mall and saw alot of pretty girls and not many alone which I look for. I dressed the best I could wearing a polo shirt, jeans, and polo shoes. I also started sporting a new hairstyle (lifted bangs with gel) i haven't used it since I was a teen. I always wear a cap or had a bald fade.

What bugged me is I walked with strait posture (I also been working on my gunslinger/shoulder movement walk) and had my head parallel to the ground walking slow and I saw very few women even look at me at all I am not an ugly guy I get told that time and time again. Im quite slim and workout alot. Is this really an issue? When you go out do women look at you alot? or are they supposed to look at you? Maybe I am doing something wrong (maybe wardrobe?) well I didnt approach any women . One girl looked my way but then looked away (I looked her in the eye). I did see one asian girl with huge boobs look at me but she was walking the other way I think I will have turn around to follow a girl that catches my interest next time im at the mall (I definitely wanted to talk to her lol), although I will do it subtle...Is this okay? Do any of ya'll do that?

Whatever feedback you guys can give me would be helpful...

 

[Estate]

Re: OR-Malls and bookstores

Hi man!

I think you are doing just fine. If a girl catches your eye, go and try talk to her. If this is all new to you, maybe the first few conversations might be awkward or go nowhere until you get a little more relaxed approaching girls but don't let that phase you, it's all part of the learning experience.

But yes, if you'd like to talk to someone (anyone! young, old, male, female, whatever), just go say Hi!
People and especially girls rarely approach guys first, it happens occassionally, but not a lot, they are shy too and rely on the guy to make the moves more often than not.

The girls who did look at you. Maybe she saw something she likes, who knows... go say Hi and find out... even if she's glancing at you, something caught her attention but few girls will stop a guy on the street.

Same goes for girls looking at you... don't take this to heart... 99.9% of men will have the exact same complaint... girls are good at being less obvious about these things than guys too so she may well have noticed you but again, she's not going to be the one to make the approach.

Just do your best, start small if you feel you must, say Hi, ask for directions, whatever... work your way up to saying something more direct once you're comfortable with just walking up to someone.
Don't overwhlem yourself too much starting out... make little steps... don't set your Day 1 goal to be sleeping with the first girl you meet... make Day 1 be a success if you just approach 5-10 women and say Hi and ask a question,
Next time do the same but try to spark conversation, next time push the interaction further.

Remember, some girls will not be interested in talking, she might not be interested or might just be having a bad day or is busy and it's no reflection on you, so never let an approach, good or bad leave you walking away with anything but a sense of accomplishment from achieving another step in the learning process.

Hope that helps a little!

 

[ocantu1987]

Re: OR-Malls and bookstores

Awesome Advice Estate! Thanks

 

[PrettyDecent]

Re: OR-Malls and bookstores

Hey Ocantu,

Excellent job going in the field. Just to answer a few things from your first post:

I dressed the best I could wearing a polo shirt, jeans, and polo shoes. I also started sporting a new hairstyle (lifted bangs with gel) i haven't used it since I was a teen. I always wear a cap or had a bald fade.

Definitely a good idea breaking out some fashionable attire like this. Polo's are definitely better than a normal t-shirt, but button downs are definitely better than polo's. Once you start approaching girls, I think you'll notice the difference in reception. Jeans and polo shoes are cool. Just be careful with the caps. Hats are a cool way to diversify an otherwise dull outfit, but try and go the fashionable route. Baseball caps scream overgrown child.

What bugged me is I walked with strait posture (I also been working on my gunslinger/shoulder movement walk) and had my head parallel to the ground walking slow and I saw very few women even look at me at all I am not an ugly guy I get told that time and time again. Im quite slim and workout alot. Is this really an issue? When you go out do women look at you alot? or are they supposed to look at you? Maybe I am doing something wrong (maybe wardrobe?)

Could have been your outfit; are you wearing size small (or whatever the reasonably smallest size you can wear)? Especially if you are muscular, that gives you a great advantage. Otherwise, don't worry about "are they looking at me?". Just like you are working on your walk, keep on working on your fundamentals, and you'll notice a change in this department naturally.

One girl looked my way but then looked away (I looked her in the eye). I did see one asian girl with huge boobs look at me but she was walking the other way I think I will have turn around to follow a girl that catches my interest next time im at the mall (I definitely wanted to talk to her lol), although I will do it subtle...Is this okay? Do any of ya'll do that?

I've never messed around with getting eye contact before approaching. If you convey high value through your fundamentals, along with a solid opener, she'll be interested in talking to you (granted she's in the mode of finding a boyfriend and/or becoming intimate). As for what you said about turning around and opening...I'm still trying to figure this one out. It seems to work better when she didn't notice you before. It seems less like chasing on your end, and less awkward for both of you if she didn't know you weren't following her.


Anyway, have you started a newbie assignment journal yet? Look forward to seeing you more on the boards, Ocantu.

 

[ocantu1987]

Re: OR-Malls and bookstores

Definitely a good idea breaking out some fashionable attire like this. Polo's are definitely better than a normal t-shirt, but button downs are definitely better than polo's. Once you start approaching girls, I think you'll notice the difference in reception. Jeans and polo shoes are cool. Just be careful with the caps. Hats are a cool way to diversify an otherwise dull outfit, but try and go the fashionable route. Baseball caps scream overgrown child.

Thanks for your input Pretty descent! I never tried button down shirts before, I have a nice one in my closet I''l think i will try out next time.

Could have been your outfit; are you wearing size small (or whatever the reasonably smallest size you can wear)? Especially if you are muscular, that gives you a great advantage. Otherwise, don't worry about "are they looking at me?". Just like you are working on your walk, keep on working on your fundamentals, and you'll notice a change in this department naturally.

Yeah the shirt I was wearing was a large and it did shrink a little in the dryer erghh lol the bottom of that shirt ends at the top of my zipper (wich i hate)the bottom also flaps out lol I wont be wearing that shirt again. I was 144lbs before I started working out and eating healthy now Im 160lbs. I will definitely start wearing smaller shirts(ive always worn large). Come to think of it a girl at my gym who was hot was looking at me and then I looked at her and she instantly looked away and down (she was Shy) lol I was wearing a smaller shirt that day too haha too bad that was the last day I saw her,I should of made a move then before she stopped coming to my gym.

A girl doesn't need to give you a good eye for you to approach huh? In the past I have only approached women only after they gave me a good eye and I had a lil alcohol lol .

've never messed around with getting eye contact before approaching. If you convey high value through your fundamentals, along with a solid opener, she'll be interested in talking to you (granted she's in the mode of finding a boyfriend and/or becoming intimate). As for what you said about turning around and opening...I'm still trying to figure this one out. It seems to work better when she didn't notice you before. It seems less like chasing on your end, and less awkward for both of you if she didn't know you weren't following her.

yeah man I looked her way and she looked back at me I was so attracted to that girl that I am sure I would of talked to her if she would cross my path again. I went home and said "why not turn around next time and follow her but keep a good distance and wait for a chance" I see what you mean though but I feel like shit for letting her get away too. I hope I see her this saturday lol.

Anyway, have you started a newbie assignment journal yet? Look forward to seeing you more on the boards, Ocantu.

I havent started a journal but I think I will. I need all the help I can get man. Thanks for the help PrettyDecent!