Expectations Man being over 40 (automatically?) raise her expectations for an LTR?

[POB]

Something I noticed after I went over 40...they ALWAYS expect me to give them an LTR, no matter the approach
And it has nothing to do with my frame (I've been dealing with non-exclusive relationships for the past 13 years, so i know how to manage it)
Basically I had to adjust my relationship game to this new reality.

Before, I could get away with no contact, once a month encounters, and a whole bunch of young gun shenanigans.
Now, I must be really carefull to balance expectations, because I sense they have started to see me as an unicorn...a really fit and young looking 44yo dude who knows what he is doing and has zero baggage for them to handle.
Funny enough, I became "the catch" lol

I'll come back to it later, once I've formulated better and deeper thoughts about this subject.

 

[gameboy]

Are the girls you are approaching also older now than the ones you used to? Or are you basically meeting the same demographic as before?

 

[Skills]

Pob i have to respectfully disagree with the post... Is more of causation correlation... Again women game in containment.. men game is to be free... It is biology... And attractive man no matter the age could be in middle school, the girl will want to contained aka make boyfriend take out of market... Happens on all games at all ages what happens after 40 your pool will have a bit older girls that are more to settle in my opinion that also may happen a bit more often with online women as well that are not getting that many cool attractive men..

 

[POB]

Are the girls you are approaching also older now than the ones you used to? Or are you basically meeting the same demographic as before?

Same demographic

Pob i have to respectfully disagree with the post... Is more of causation correlation... Again women game in containment.. men game is to be free... It is biology... And attractive man no matter the age could be in middle school, the girl will want to contained aka make boyfriend take out of market... Happens on all games at all ages what happens after 40 your pool will have a bit older girls that are more to settle in my opinion that also may happen a bit more often with online women as well that are not getting that many cool attractive men..

You gave me good food for thought...as I said before, I'll try to further this topic once I'm able to gather my thinking

 

[DonGately]

Completely disagree, my experience is that their age is irrelevant, if they want a LTR that's what they want, if an ONS then that, doesn't matter if 19 or 29 or etc.

 

[KJ Francis]

Before, I could get away with no contact, once a month encounters

are you getting slow gamed now before the first lay, like boyfriend vetted? if not, it sounds like you just leveled up and they can't get enough of you now... maybe before it was more take it or leave it... now more obsession.

you guys probably remember David Shade... this from 2020 he was 64 dating a 20 year old (not traditional LTR... hidden from her parents). this is not a damaged girl with daddy issues either. he is ALL about screening. she accelerated university and was a PhD student with high self esteem and good relationship with her father, and parents still married.

maybe the extreme age difference slots him purely in lover category though, fully disqualified from LTR. but still... seems anything is possible

 

[POB]

are you getting slow gamed now before the first lay, like boyfriend vetted?

Not at all!
Quite the opposite in fact, I'm getting to bed faster than I ever had.
On rare rare occasions I do need a 3rd date, but usually I'm getting them to bed on the same day.

if not, it sounds like you just leveled up and they can't get enough of you now... maybe before it was more take it or leave it... now more obsession.

Could be.
One thing I noticed is my "I don't give a shit" vibe is at an all time high.
And I can keep this going forever, even while being 100% attainable (a fine balance that took me years to perfect).

Or maybe I'm just that rare bird they seek: somewhat young, have money, seductive, physically hot and still give guy next door vibes.
Only caveat is I don't do monogamy (maybe this is the missing piece that their subcounscious is picking, hence their need to lock me in ASAP).
I'll try to ask some of my ex-FBs to see if they can give me a hint.

 

[Chase]

@POB,

Do you have more money / are more established than in the past, and/or communicate it more or have it more interwoven as a part of your identity?

Chase

 

[POB]

@POB,

Do you have more money / are more established than in the past, and/or communicate it more or have it more interwoven as a part of your identity?

Chase

Definitely yes

 

[Chase]

Definitely yes

In that case, I would bet that is what is causing the every-girl-expects-an-LTR issue.

You will either need to conceal it, or start using other ways to get girls to boyfriend disqualify you.

-C

 

[Skills]

Not at all!
Quite the opposite in fact, I'm getting to bed faster than I ever had.
On rare rare occasions I do need a 3rd date, but usually I'm getting them to bed on the same day.

Could be.
One thing I noticed is my "I don't give a shit" vibe is at an all time high.
And I can keep this going forever, even while being 100% attainable (a fine balance that took me years to perfect).

Or maybe I'm just that rare bird they seek: somewhat young, have money, seductive, physically hot and still give guy next door vibes.
Only caveat is I don't do monogamy (maybe this is the missing piece that their subcounscious is picking, hence their need to lock me in ASAP).
I'll try to ask some of my ex-FaBs to see if they can give me a hint.

Again i think you figured this out with new gen i would increase the % of boyfriend possibility from 30% to almost 50 or more if i could... they neeeeed wayyy mooreee rope... Again due to conservative nature...

 

[TomInHo]

Or maybe I'm just that rare bird they seek: somewhat young, have money, seductive, physically hot and still give guy next door vibes.
Only caveat is I don't do monogamy (maybe this is the missing piece that their subcounscious is picking, hence their need to lock me in ASAP).
I'll try to ask some of my ex-FBs to see if they can give me a hint.

I can relate to this.

I’m not in my 40s yet, but I started noticing similar issues in my early 30s.

I’ve just accepted it for what it is: once you reach a certain level of attractiveness, a significant number of women will want to lock you down as a boyfriend.

This makes sense because women tend to view boyfriend candidates as higher value than casual lovers. Their primary drive is for long-term relationships, not short-term flings.

There’s also a reason women in casual relationships sometimes try to turn their lovers into providers—it’s part of their primary mating strategy.

Some people mistakenly assume that a boyfriend candidate is somehow of lower value, but that’s not the case.

So, you've reached the point where women are offering sex with the hope of locking you down into a relationship. They never really wanted something casual with you in the first place.

The best way I’ve found to handle this is to expect women to act a bit unpredictably at times and, most importantly, set relationship expectations early on.

 

[DonGately]

POB, my personal thoughts on this are: about 60% of the girls I sleep with just want fun, nsa sex, drinking, hanging out. About half the rest likely consider me 'boyfriend material,' but they don't bring it up -- they just hope I keep texting them and they make themselves available if at all possible. They're happy to commit if I commit.

The other 20-25% who def want a steady bf/gf relationship *tend* to be the highest quality girls -- they want you off the market but are willing to state they will be monogamous for you, cook for you, be a great sexual partner, go out of their way to cheer you up if having a bad day, etc. Once they've found a partner with high SMV who's good in bed they don't wanna date any more, just spend time with you.

JMHO.

As Tom said, you gotta set expectations early on. If the girl ends up rolling off, that's better than lying to her about your intentions for sure.

 

[POB]

Great answers so far, thanks a lot guys!
I'll go out on a limb here and say that they are picking up subtle cues that I want to have a family in the near future (5-8 years from now).
Women have a strong intuition when it comes to those things.