- Joined
- Sep 14, 2023
- Messages
- 18
Synopsis:
I won't mince words, I'm looking to bang college chicks.
I'm well past an age at which that is deemed socially acceptable, or at which it will even be all that easy.
But yet, here I am.
Maybe I'm doing something wrong , or missing something. That's why I'm here.
From my experience (when younger), younger women put up the least fuss, are quicker to want sex, are least concerned with "where things are going" after a couple of rounds in the sack, and generally confident enough not to cling.
Excuse the Nostalgia
When I was younger (late twenties, during an 'outdoor cat' phase on Tinder, making up for a lackluster early twenties) this was a cinch.
The age gap wasn't that wide (~5 years), and nobody was in such a lather over 'age gaps' the way they are now.
Am I overreacting? Am I just seeing angry voices magnified by social media and assuming there are watchful 'Karens' around every corner, looking to police people's sexuality? I'm not sure.
When I was younger, I almost entirely relied on apps (not doing that anymore), and going to the bars, specifically during my 'outdoor cat' phase.
The former eliminated guesswork - the return on investment (of time) was not that great, but it worked when it worked. In the case of the latter, there was far less guesswork because a buzzed emphatic yes (or, more often, a buzzed emphatic: 'fuck off') was easier to interpret than the vaguer social signals of women with their guard up on the streets or in class would give me.
But that time is behind me.
Reality Check / The Problem
Now, I'm in my late thirties. I started looking around my own age bracket again, to no avail.
My interest is in casual/sport-fucking. Since about my late twenties and onward, any woman near age with whom I've been intimate have been quick to use sex as a bargaining chip, or to implement sneaky covert contracts. I even tried, when in my early thirties to 'date up' and the older women were even quicker to bail on me when I made it clear I was seeking something casual.
These encounters in my own age bracket almost always ended on a bad note (yes, I realize that's sometimes inevitable) and with the women trying to accuse me of being misleading with my intentions (to wit: 'You led me on!')
They're quicker to try and trot out a 'dating'-script. And while that may be my fault, coming off as too kind/chill/easygoing and giving off what I presume to be a 'boyfriend'-vibe, so that's an issue too.
I figured it'd be easier to avoid that guilt and blame - and drama - by just aiming down. Younger, hornier, more impulsive women who aren't preoccupied with questions of starting a family and finding good long-term partners seem to be a better crowd to look to for this.
Aiming Low
Therein lies the rub. It's as if I'm well past an age where any of this feels comfortable.
I'm rusty.
When I was younger, a trip to the local watering hole, or a few dozen right-swipes would get me off to a good start. Neither of those are available to me. I'll explain why.
I'm too old and tired to bother with bars and loud places that involve booze (I rarely drink anymore), and in the case of the app (Alright, you got me. It was one app: Tinder.), I was using an exploit through which I deleted my account and reopened it to get more free swipes, when I ran out. Tinder didn't like that and I was permanently banned.
Now, I don't know where to meet women who'd be interested. Do people still approach at public places like the grocery stores? Why does that feel weird now? Is day-game even a thing anymore?
I don't see myself just prowling around college campuses - but don't know where else to go. Coffee shops? Seems to have the same problem as bars and pubs, being loud and crowded.
It doesn't help that, owing to an anxiety disorder, I take rejections like a kick to the teeth, pretty much every time, and agonize over them for hours, sometimes days afterwards.
Speaking of my baggage...
My baggage:
Get to the Goddamn Point, Already!
For fear of whining, let me cut to the chase. Fellow over-30s, who are you banging, and how do you meet them?
My life revolves around work and home, so that might be part of the problem, but I am sincerely at a loss.
Please share with me any and every anecdote you can, even if it only seems to be tangentially related to my problem. I've been brainstorming about this on my own and coming up short.
- Well into my thirties
- Looking in my age group has yielded very little success
- Will there be blowback?
- How do I find good places to meet women who are younger than I am? (Without going too far out of my way)
I won't mince words, I'm looking to bang college chicks.
I'm well past an age at which that is deemed socially acceptable, or at which it will even be all that easy.
But yet, here I am.
Maybe I'm doing something wrong , or missing something. That's why I'm here.
From my experience (when younger), younger women put up the least fuss, are quicker to want sex, are least concerned with "where things are going" after a couple of rounds in the sack, and generally confident enough not to cling.
Excuse the Nostalgia
When I was younger (late twenties, during an 'outdoor cat' phase on Tinder, making up for a lackluster early twenties) this was a cinch.
The age gap wasn't that wide (~5 years), and nobody was in such a lather over 'age gaps' the way they are now.
Am I overreacting? Am I just seeing angry voices magnified by social media and assuming there are watchful 'Karens' around every corner, looking to police people's sexuality? I'm not sure.
When I was younger, I almost entirely relied on apps (not doing that anymore), and going to the bars, specifically during my 'outdoor cat' phase.
The former eliminated guesswork - the return on investment (of time) was not that great, but it worked when it worked. In the case of the latter, there was far less guesswork because a buzzed emphatic yes (or, more often, a buzzed emphatic: 'fuck off') was easier to interpret than the vaguer social signals of women with their guard up on the streets or in class would give me.
But that time is behind me.
Reality Check / The Problem
Now, I'm in my late thirties. I started looking around my own age bracket again, to no avail.
My interest is in casual/sport-fucking. Since about my late twenties and onward, any woman near age with whom I've been intimate have been quick to use sex as a bargaining chip, or to implement sneaky covert contracts. I even tried, when in my early thirties to 'date up' and the older women were even quicker to bail on me when I made it clear I was seeking something casual.
These encounters in my own age bracket almost always ended on a bad note (yes, I realize that's sometimes inevitable) and with the women trying to accuse me of being misleading with my intentions (to wit: 'You led me on!')
They're quicker to try and trot out a 'dating'-script. And while that may be my fault, coming off as too kind/chill/easygoing and giving off what I presume to be a 'boyfriend'-vibe, so that's an issue too.
I figured it'd be easier to avoid that guilt and blame - and drama - by just aiming down. Younger, hornier, more impulsive women who aren't preoccupied with questions of starting a family and finding good long-term partners seem to be a better crowd to look to for this.
Aiming Low
Therein lies the rub. It's as if I'm well past an age where any of this feels comfortable.
I'm rusty.
When I was younger, a trip to the local watering hole, or a few dozen right-swipes would get me off to a good start. Neither of those are available to me. I'll explain why.
I'm too old and tired to bother with bars and loud places that involve booze (I rarely drink anymore), and in the case of the app (Alright, you got me. It was one app: Tinder.), I was using an exploit through which I deleted my account and reopened it to get more free swipes, when I ran out. Tinder didn't like that and I was permanently banned.
Now, I don't know where to meet women who'd be interested. Do people still approach at public places like the grocery stores? Why does that feel weird now? Is day-game even a thing anymore?
I don't see myself just prowling around college campuses - but don't know where else to go. Coffee shops? Seems to have the same problem as bars and pubs, being loud and crowded.
It doesn't help that, owing to an anxiety disorder, I take rejections like a kick to the teeth, pretty much every time, and agonize over them for hours, sometimes days afterwards.
Speaking of my baggage...
My baggage:
- Worried I'll be perceived creepy and/or calculating
- Low energy. I'm not an overeager 22-year-old anymore
- I have very little in common with women that age
- Worried I'll get run up the flagpole by friends/orbiters looking to play up that 'stigma' around older men and younger women.
- I take rejections like a kick to the teeth
Get to the Goddamn Point, Already!
For fear of whining, let me cut to the chase. Fellow over-30s, who are you banging, and how do you meet them?
My life revolves around work and home, so that might be part of the problem, but I am sincerely at a loss.
Please share with me any and every anecdote you can, even if it only seems to be tangentially related to my problem. I've been brainstorming about this on my own and coming up short.
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