Meeting Younger Women - please advise

[King Indra]

Synopsis:

• Well into my thirties
• Looking in my age group has yielded very little success
• Will there be blowback?
• How do I find good places to meet women who are younger than I am? (Without going too far out of my way)

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I won't mince words, I'm looking to bang college chicks.

I'm well past an age at which that is deemed socially acceptable, or at which it will even be all that easy.

But yet, here I am.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong , or missing something. That's why I'm here.

From my experience (when younger), younger women put up the least fuss, are quicker to want sex, are least concerned with "where things are going" after a couple of rounds in the sack, and generally confident enough not to cling.

Excuse the Nostalgia

When I was younger (late twenties, during an 'outdoor cat' phase on Tinder, making up for a lackluster early twenties) this was a cinch.

The age gap wasn't that wide (~5 years), and nobody was in such a lather over 'age gaps' the way they are now.

Am I overreacting? Am I just seeing angry voices magnified by social media and assuming there are watchful 'Karens' around every corner, looking to police people's sexuality? I'm not sure.

When I was younger, I almost entirely relied on apps (not doing that anymore), and going to the bars, specifically during my 'outdoor cat' phase.

The former eliminated guesswork - the return on investment (of time) was not that great, but it worked when it worked. In the case of the latter, there was far less guesswork because a buzzed emphatic yes (or, more often, a buzzed emphatic: 'fuck off') was easier to interpret than the vaguer social signals of women with their guard up on the streets or in class would give me.

But that time is behind me.

Reality Check / The Problem

Now, I'm in my late thirties. I started looking around my own age bracket again, to no avail.

My interest is in casual/sport-fucking. Since about my late twenties and onward, any woman near age with whom I've been intimate have been quick to use sex as a bargaining chip, or to implement sneaky covert contracts. I even tried, when in my early thirties to 'date up' and the older women were even quicker to bail on me when I made it clear I was seeking something casual.

These encounters in my own age bracket almost always ended on a bad note (yes, I realize that's sometimes inevitable) and with the women trying to accuse me of being misleading with my intentions (to wit: 'You led me on!')

They're quicker to try and trot out a 'dating'-script. And while that may be my fault, coming off as too kind/chill/easygoing and giving off what I presume to be a 'boyfriend'-vibe, so that's an issue too.

I figured it'd be easier to avoid that guilt and blame - and drama - by just aiming down. Younger, hornier, more impulsive women who aren't preoccupied with questions of starting a family and finding good long-term partners seem to be a better crowd to look to for this.

Aiming Low

Therein lies the rub. It's as if I'm well past an age where any of this feels comfortable.

I'm rusty.

When I was younger, a trip to the local watering hole, or a few dozen right-swipes would get me off to a good start. Neither of those are available to me. I'll explain why.

I'm too old and tired to bother with bars and loud places that involve booze (I rarely drink anymore), and in the case of the app (Alright, you got me. It was one app: Tinder.), I was using an exploit through which I deleted my account and reopened it to get more free swipes, when I ran out. Tinder didn't like that and I was permanently banned.

Now, I don't know where to meet women who'd be interested. Do people still approach at public places like the grocery stores? Why does that feel weird now? Is day-game even a thing anymore?

I don't see myself just prowling around college campuses - but don't know where else to go. Coffee shops? Seems to have the same problem as bars and pubs, being loud and crowded.

It doesn't help that, owing to an anxiety disorder, I take rejections like a kick to the teeth, pretty much every time, and agonize over them for hours, sometimes days afterwards.

Speaking of my baggage...

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My baggage:

• Worried I'll be perceived creepy and/or calculating
• Low energy. I'm not an overeager 22-year-old anymore
• I have very little in common with women that age
• Worried I'll get run up the flagpole by friends/orbiters looking to play up that 'stigma' around older men and younger women.
• I take rejections like a kick to the teeth

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Get to the Goddamn Point, Already!

For fear of whining, let me cut to the chase. Fellow over-30s, who are you banging, and how do you meet them?

My life revolves around work and home, so that might be part of the problem, but I am sincerely at a loss.

Please share with me any and every anecdote you can, even if it only seems to be tangentially related to my problem. I've been brainstorming about this on my own and coming up short.

 

[OldGuy]

Your age will be no problem for upper class women. I got a lot of approach invitation when I took my daughter to freshman orientation (I looked 45).

 

[Water]

Game is game.

That said, it’s probably a slight disadvantage for much younger women if you look very old.

Start a regular skin care regimen and see a dermatologist asap. There are laser treatments that tighten the skin to maximize youthful appearance.

@Dreamer and I both prefer the college age range of women and are similar ages, but we both have an advantage, we both look roughly 10 years younger. I’m mid-30s.

Hurry up and write your skin care regimen post, man. @Dreamer

 

[King Indra]

I got a lot of approach invitation when I took my daughter to freshman orientation (I looked 45).

So it's really just a matter of frame and not letting what the people on Tumblr are saying, I take it?

 

[King Indra]

Game is game.

Fair.

That said, it’s probably a slight disadvantage for much younger women if you look very old.

I'm in your age bracket, and the only real tell for my age is my hair (I have none). I've been blessed with 'boyish' good looks. Which is why I will be heeding this:

Start a regular skin care regimen and see a dermatologist asap. There are laser treatments that tighten the skin to maximize youthful appearance.

I've been hearing this a lot from people my own age, and my primary source of heat in the winter are a wood furnace and fireplace and I can physically feel that radiant heat and smoke aging me, as I stoke and tend to the fires for seven months of the year...

 

[Water]

Fair.

I'm in your age bracket, and the only real tell for my age is my hair (I have none). I've been blessed with 'boyish' good looks. Which is why I will be heeding this:

I've been hearing this a lot from people my own age, and my primary source of heat in the winter are a wood furnace and fireplace and I can physically feel that radiant heat and smoke aging me, as I stoke and tend to the fires for seven months of the year...

Dont listen to tumblr. lol.

Even younger girls if asked if they would date a guy in our age range would likely say no. Most women, actually most people, don’t know what they want / don’t know what they would even go for.

I approached a 5-set during day game at a park of super hot girls 18-19, they looked like legit models, I had gained some weight and my stomach was bulging slightly (which is rare for me cuz I’m usually in shape), I opened them, banter, they invite me to sit with them, we talk for legit 2 straight hours and they invite me to go out clubbing with them that night.

When the topic of age came up I asked them to guess. They guessed early 20s. I said no and told them my real age. They seemed surprised. Then subject change. My age didn’t bother me even slightly and that probably helped it not bother them. I didn’t deny it or sound like I was ashamed. I just acted like J belonged and anyone walking past would’ve thought I was always part of their group.