Videos Muscular dude catcalls your girl in front of you. What would you do?

[Kaida]

If a dude comes up to you and tells you fuck you or go fuck yourself for no reason are you going to be a doormat,

A random dude I dont know? I’ll probably just laugh in his face. Beating his ass or insulting back would be matching him too much when he’s acting like a kid. I think you’re only a doormat if he does something physical and you dont fight back

But in the scenario you provided where he steps in and breaks you and your girl holding hands, throwing hands is a viable option.

Thats some strong disrespect and your girl probably expects you to do something. Plus its already gotten physical, he put his hands on her

 

[Rakehell]

Same guy doing the same prank, except this time he pulls out a gun when the guy steps to him. Just Lol

Pretty sure it’s staged since apparently the first chick is a influencer too.

 

[Will_V]

You don't always need to give aggressors a free pass .. Once in a while, you can show your girl that you are no joke .. Answer him and see where it goes.

In theory it sounds like a good idea but there's a bunch of problems.

Any move you make like that sets a precedent, which means she'll expect the same thing or more next time around, or otherwise she'll think 'hmm his frame has changed, why..?'. Good way to run into a lot of relationship trouble.

Then there's the question of training her expectations. I notice that when guys ask these kind of questions about 'what to do if X happens, won't she lose respect if you don't do something' they are already implicitly allowing her to control the frame.

I am a quite chill, self-controlled dude who doesn't react easily to provocations. If a random dude heckled me as I walked past, I'd ignore. If a random dude catcalled me as I walked past, I'd ignore. If a random dude snickered or made a comment as I walked past, I'd ignore. I ignore because they and their opinions mean nothing and are irrelevant. I think many people would do the same. What's the point? They are NPCs. I am not here to manage their feelings.

Now I have a girl with me, she gets catcalled and supposedly it hurts her feelings (actually it's likely to have done the opposite, which makes reacting even worse). Am I supposed to hand over my self control on her behalf, and go after these dudes?

Instead I want to train her to know that just because she's there, I won't go and fight for anything less than I would already do for myself. It is not her frame that remains intact, but mine.

This is what actual relationship frame control looks like, in my opinion. If you can't convince her that this kind of thing was a good move, and keep her respect through it, then your frame control is weak and ready to be overtaken.

Of course you need to take into account the context. Outnumbered ? Pass. Is the guy drunk and not a threat ? Pass. Are you in Morocco and your GF is showing her shoulders ? Pass.

Let's say you fight a guy one time, next time it happens you notice all kinds of hidden threats and you decide it's best to pass. Good luck trying to explain that to her.

Remember you aren't robbing the guy, there isn't supposed to be a strategic element here. For her, you are doing things on moral grounds, which means any and all situations warrant the same response.

I am always (and look) ready to take the other guy down if necessary, so probably for that reason these situations luckily almost never happen to me. Chase spoke about this in his articles. Basically most dudes will evaluate you to see if you are an easy target or not before acting (unless they are drunk, high, or in group).

That's absolutely right. People who have been in fights know what to look for when figuring an easy or hard target. I spent a long time in Brazil, in some pretty dangerous places, mostly alone, and never got robbed, though some of my friends who lived the way I did got mugged, some multiple times. The only reasons are that a) I didn't look like a tourist and b) I walked like a fighter - and I was one.

My Krav Maga instructor once started chasing in the middle of the street some guy that insulted his GF, that dumbass had to run away and locked himself in the toilets of the nearby bar .. It was real fun to watch

It's always funny and satisfying to see someone get their just desserts. But in reality the kind of people who start fights, have started many fights. First of all they get to set the ambush. Sometimes the ambush is weak, sometimes it has elements you don't realize until the fight has started. The dude might have a knife he keeps just to make sure he wins fights that get away from him. He might have other dudes you didn't realize were his friends.

And then there's the problem of how to do the right amount of damage. On any surface like concrete, killing someone is a real possibility. When I fight I don't pull punches, and I always fight to win. I treat every fight as life or death, not only does it give me the best chance to win, but it's actually true - if I pull my punches and one of his gets in, now I might crack my head on the kerb. No, once the fight has started, if anyone's going to end up on life support or looking like Stephen Hawking, it's him.

And what about if the police arrive while you are getting the better of things? What about if you rearrange his face and his uncle is a lawyer who goes after you for everything you've got? What if he comes for revenge in ways that are very hard to predict and a lot more overwhelming - maybe even taking it out on your girl and beating her to a pulp, if he can't get to you?

When you fight you take on a multitude of risks, many of them completely unknown. My risk management strategy is to only take on risks that come with a reward that's equal or greater, and avoiding the shit tests of some girl is no such thing.

If she can't or doesn't want to understand the reasons why I will or won't fight, she's a liability to me and will be out.

 

[Will_V]

It looks like most of the high level seducers agree.

But at what point of escalation do y’all think violence is necessary

Is it when he starts harassing for longer, gets in your face, or touches your girl… wheres the line?

That's a good question. For me, when things get physical at all, with me or my girl, I will get aggressive. If it becomes a routine of harrassing me or my girl, I will do something about it such as confront him, with aggression and with the possibility of ending up fighting. Basically if I cannot avoid or ignore it, it will be dealt with.

 

[Rakehell]

This is one of those scenarios where there isn’t really a definitive answer as to how you’d respond until you’re put in that situation.

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face” - Mike Tyson

This guy’s whole demeanor to me screams he’s asking for a fight and feels pretty confident about putting an end to it (he’s carrying a gun in his fanny pack).

The easy answer is to keep it cute, i.e smile or agree with him. But he could use that as an excuse to escalate as well.

Ime noones too tough looking or big to be messed with in certain places by someone who doesn’t gaf. The only thing you can do is what’s available to you at the time. Some version of fighting or getting away.

More importantly know where you are, so you can avoid people with nothing to lose.

Worrying about frame or respect or whatever is worrying about the wrong shit in this kind of situation.

 

[Skills]

Anyways the post and scenario on the video is fictional 0 chance of happening... I seen this only with gang members, and obviously you will have to ignore and keep walking... But if a dude is testing your boundaries trying to be bully directly you need to take action cause he is directly trying you, which again unlike to happen... The scenario close to this that causes most fights is when women on dates are shit testing dudes by opening body language and forcing approach invites, causes 90% of club fights...in those cases you have to let it happen and no be reactive and open other women the pond will get to exited and over confident he doesn't know he is a pond and she will come back to you...

 

[reeax]

In theory it sounds like a good idea but there's a bunch of problems.

Any move you make like that sets a precedent, which means she'll expect the same thing or more next time around, or otherwise she'll think 'hmm his frame has changed, why..?'. Good way to run into a lot of relationship trouble.

Then there's the question of training her expectations. I notice that when guys ask these kind of questions about 'what to do if X happens, won't she lose respect if you don't do something' they are already implicitly allowing her to control the frame.

I am a quite chill, self-controlled dude who doesn't react easily to provocations. If a random dude heckled me as I walked past, I'd ignore. If a random dude catcalled me as I walked past, I'd ignore. If a random dude snickered or made a comment as I walked past, I'd ignore. I ignore because they and their opinions mean nothing and are irrelevant. I think many people would do the same. What's the point? They are NPCs. I am not here to manage their feelings.

Now I have a girl with me, she gets catcalled and supposedly it hurts her feelings (actually it's likely to have done the opposite, which makes reacting even worse). Am I supposed to hand over my self control on her behalf, and go after these dudes?

Instead I want to train her to know that just because she's there, I won't go and fight for anything less than I would already do for myself. It is not her frame that remains intact, but mine.

This is what actual relationship frame control looks like, in my opinion. If you can't convince her that this kind of thing was a good move, and keep her respect through it, then your frame control is weak and ready to be overtaken.




Let's say you fight a guy one time, next time it happens you notice all kinds of hidden threats and you decide it's best to pass. Good luck trying to explain that to her.

Remember you aren't robbing the guy, there isn't supposed to be a strategic element here. For her, you are doing things on moral grounds, which means any and all situations warrant the same response.



That's absolutely right. People who have been in fights know what to look for when figuring an easy or hard target. I spent a long time in Brazil, in some pretty dangerous places, mostly alone, and never got robbed, though some of my friends who lived the way I did got mugged, some multiple times. The only reasons are that a) I didn't look like a tourist and b) I walked like a fighter - and I was one.



It's always funny and satisfying to see someone get their just desserts. But in reality the kind of people who start fights, have started many fights. First of all they get to set the ambush. Sometimes the ambush is weak, sometimes it has elements you don't realize until the fight has started. The dude might have a knife he keeps just to make sure he wins fights that get away from him. He might have other dudes you didn't realize were his friends.

And then there's the problem of how to do the right amount of damage. On any surface like concrete, killing someone is a real possibility. When I fight I don't pull punches, and I always fight to win. I treat every fight as life or death, not only does it give me the best chance to win, but it's actually true - if I pull my punches and one of his gets in, now I might crack my head on the kerb. No, once the fight has started, if anyone's going to end up on life support or looking like Stephen Hawking, it's him.

And what about if the police arrive while you are getting the better of things? What about if you rearrange his face and his uncle is a lawyer who goes after you for everything you've got? What if he comes for revenge in ways that are very hard to predict and a lot more overwhelming - maybe even taking it out on your girl and beating her to a pulp, if he can't get to you?

When you fight you take on a multitude of risks, many of them completely unknown. My risk management strategy is to only take on risks that come with a reward that's equal or greater, and avoiding the shit tests of some girl is no such thing.

If she can't or doesn't want to understand the reasons why I will or won't fight, she's a liability to me and will be out.

Alright, so about my instructor, he's been at this for decades, teaching all the stuff you mentioned. The guy trained Israeli special forces on the ground, so he's definitely got more know-how about knives, guns, and ambushes than us, that's for sure . The whole point was just to intimidate that guy using probably some police restraint tech, and teach him a valuable life lesson, nothing more.

If you read my post, you'll see I NEVER said to start a fight over some words. But I'm not the type to let some guy insult my girl and not respond at least short and sweet. It's not just about her anymore; I just can't be that zen. If that dude was just itching for a fight, then so be it.

Like my Krav Maga instructor always says, do what you want in life, but be ready to face the consequences. Not taking disrespect is my choice, but I'm aware it could lead to some serious scrap. You've got to own that possibility.

That said, if you're finding yourself in these situations often, you probably might need to work on yourself, because something's not right.

 

[reeax]

That's a good question. For me, when things get physical at all, with me or my girl, I will get aggressive. If it becomes a routine of harrassing me or my girl, I will do something about it such as confront him, with aggression and with the possibility of ending up fighting. Basically if I cannot avoid or ignore it, it will be dealt with.

This, my attitude. But, you gotta be sure things aren't too risky. Like, if it feels sketchy, the dude might be part of a larger group, or might have a weapon, or you're in a dicey place (think wandering in Cape Town at night), then it's a no-go attitude.

In those situations, it's best to pull your girl behind you (protective), kind of like a shield, and give the guy the psycho unemotional look that says you're ready to defend yourself & her if you have to. Completely stop interacting with the aggressor and just tell your girl, "Let's move from here." Then, back away, keeping an eye on him the whole time, never turn your back.

The main issue is that it's difficult to pull this off credibly if you don't know how to fight and don't have that dangerous gaze for real. Other guys can often sense it and keep coming onto you. But still, do your best.

This way, she'll know you were there to protect her without starting a fight. Plus, she'll respect you for handling it smartly.

 

[Will_V]

This, my attitude. But, you gotta be sure things aren't too risky. Like, if it feels sketchy, the dude might be part of a larger group, or might have a weapon, or you're in a dicey place (think wandering in Cape Town at night), then it's a no-go attitude.

I'd never be wandering around Rio de Janeiro or Cape Town at night with my girl in the first place.

But I agree you have to be strategic. What I mentioned are the things I'd be willing to fight over, things that cross the line for me. Whether I would go ahead in any specific situation depends.

In the end a girl has to trust your calculus when it comes to fighting and violence, or anything else. Any girl with common sense knows that sometimes you have to lose a battle to win a war. Her respect for you can't be that shaky that it's shaped simply by a stereotype.

Girls will tend to trust a guy who has complete trust in his own judgement, regardless of what that judgement is. I believe you could be a guy who had never fought and never would in his entire life, and you could still easily steal women from guys who would terrify other men in conflict. That's what frame control is.

And even if you do the 'right' thing by some some universal metric, if you reproach or criticize yourself or feel shame afterward, and she sees that internal conflict, she will experience the whole thing as a defeat on all fronts for you. But if you have certainty, she will trust you as far as that certainty really goes. Girls have a very flexible frame like that. She is more of a mirror of self-judgement than an independent source of it.

That's why as a man you have to have an internal source of certainty that not even logic can defeat.

 

[Chase]

I've had guys catcall girls I was with occasionally. The most egregious was this tall Arab chick I had with this little skinny waist but these absolutely massive jugs. Car full of three frat-bro looking types pulled up right behind us and started yelling stuff at her about her giant tits. Then they sped right off. I just looked at her with an amused smile and she got this half bashful / half annoyed look and talked about how she gets that all the time.

I used to live in D.C. and there was a part of town (Adams Morgan) that as soon as 2:30 AM hit and the bars closed, if the weather was warm, the sidewalk would suddenly be lined with black dudes for blocks who would just stand there and catcall every girl who walked by. Didn't matter if she was with friends, with a dude, etc. They'd all just be standing there shooting their shot on the girls leaving the bars trying to see if they could get something with that. Crazy part was black dudes didn't even go out in that part of town... you'd see like three or four black dudes the whole night at the bars, then closing time would hit and they'd be lining the streets like they just manifested out of thin air. It was crazy. Lotta bad stuff went down in D.C. over summer and they had repeated "crime wave emergencies" each June-August, but fortunately I never witnessed any dudes getting aggressive beyond the catcalls. There'd be cop cars everywhere at that time of night... several cop cars parked with their lights flashing every block.

Anyway, when you're pulling girls from bars late at night and these guys are catcalling them as you walk... it is just no big deal. These dudes doing this are all helping you out and doing you a favor: the dudes are making you look SO much suaver and sexier by comparison. Girls shrink closer to you as a reaction to it and absolutely glue themselves to your side.

I don't know why you would ever acknowledge a guy who is doing provocateur crap like this. He doesn't even have the balls to come approach your girl. He isn't even trying to spit any real game. Just standing at a safe distance saying words. Don't break circle.

The dude with the chick in the OP video clowned himself. There was no reason for him to go up tough-guy style to the dude catcalling. He went up to go try and act intimidating but wasn't ready to actually drop the dude, and the catcall dude held ground and clowned him. Your average catcall dude isn't really expecting to get laid off of catcalling. He is trying to provoke a reaction and see what he can get. People getting pissed off and trying to fight him is what he wants.

An ex-bodybuilder buddy of mine used to roll with these buffed up MMA cats who would sit in a group outside of bars at night and catcall everyone who went by. Every now and then some hothead guy would take the bait, come up to them all pissed off, start something, and the MMA guys would all jump in and beat his ass. They thought it was hilarious. Bait the hook, catch the fish, beat the crap outta the fish. That's the point of catcalling: see what kind of reaction you can get from people and laugh at how reactive people get. If you respond to catcalls, you're the punchline.

That's a good question. For me, when things get physical at all, with me or my girl, I will get aggressive. If it becomes a routine of harrassing me or my girl, I will do something about it such as confront him, with aggression and with the possibility of ending up fighting. Basically if I cannot avoid or ignore it, it will be dealt with.

Yeah, that's when it's more than just some random douche trying to provoke a reaction. If it's physical, really in your face, or he is some dude who is fixated on you / your chick and keeps popping up making a nuisance of himself... veering more into "scary creepy stalker guy" territory and less into "random lame provocateur." Then you deal with it.

The other wild card is if you have a "culture of honor" girl with you who goes charging after guys who catcall her herself or urges you to. The chicks who are like, "Are you just going to let him say that about me?" Jada Pinkett style. There's no good way to win in that situation... should've picked your girl better... you're either going to be a good simp and go beat the guy's ass for her viewing pleasure, or you're going to tell her to get outta here with that and listen to her call you a coward. Best I've come up with for those scenarios is just get a big grin on your face and gesture to the guy and tell her, "Go right ahead! I don't know why you'd care about some asshole saying words, but you can go say some shit back if you wanna!"

If you've ever watched some pissed off chick go chew some dude out for catcalling her, it's one of the most awkward and amusing scenes you can imagine. You end up sharing a sympathetic bro-to-bro glance with the catcall guy that just says, "Dude!" while your girl is tearing him a new one.

I feel for bros in that scenario.

I wonder if they will ever catcall again.

R.I.P. catcall bros.

Chase

 

[Tim Iron]

I just watched that clip and remembered this thread.

This is a MMA fighter who fights for a living, yet chose not to fight because he has some amount of self-control .. like I said previously, intelligent men don't fight over such petty issues.

 

[Marty]

I’d blow him a kiss. Not joking.

I once cocked such a fellow a snook; that was back in 1996 with my first serious girlfriend. Happy days