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Need Help With Starting Out Cold Appraching

TheVale

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 28, 2015
Messages
19
Hi everyone, I'm a man in my early twenties with zero sexual experience. I figured out that if I don't go on dates and ask girls out I will never improve.
So I'm trying cold approaching, but s now I've never even opened once. Women ignore me when I pass by, and I never receve apprach invitations. Depsite having a decent social life, I have very few female friends and I only had like three dates in my life.
Depsite this, I'm no socially awkard or anything, but ai can't start opening and appraching.
What can I do?
 

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
1,050
Start with the newbie assignment? It's in the stickied posts on newbies board I think.
 

Frost

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 27, 2015
Messages
182
The newbie assignment is a solid start.

There is something you can do in parallel as well, and that is to go out more with your friends, and have them invite some of their friends that you don't know (mainly women of course). This will give you more experience talking to women in general, and maybe you'll even hit it off with some of them.

It's gonna be difficult at first, but once you do it, you will start to see the feeling you used to consider approach anxiety as excitement to meet a new beautiful girl. And no matter what the result of the interaction is, the important thing is that you did your duty as a man, because you simply have very little control over how she responds after your approach.

If you don't want to do the newbie assignment right away, there is another assignment you can do to get started. My friend Kaylan gave me this one and it's what got me back into approaching. Here it is:

Over the next week, you have to approach 10 new girls, give them a genuine compliment, wish them a good day and leave. If you want to continue the conversation you absolutely can. So you do the math, how many girls you have to approach each day.

When I was starting with it I went to a park and starting walking around, there were beautiful women everywhere, but I couldn't approach. Eventually I saw a very beautiful french girl sitting on a bench working on her laptop. I walked past her, sat on another bench, and said to myself "Fuck it, I'm gonna do it". I walked up to her, gave her the compliment, she smiled and said thank you, then I left. The feeling was amazing, and it was at that moment that I realized that I've just done a direct cold approach during the day! I felt unstoppable! Later on I approached another girl, who had headphones on. This time we chatted for a bit and then we parted ways.


So you can do it, you just have to set a goal and work for it, and trust me you'll feel amazing afterwards.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,819
Regardless of what anyone else says or suggests (the Newbie assignment is an awesome starting place) the reality of things is that you're going to need to just start approaching at some point, to some degree. With limited experience, it will be an obstacle for you to notice approach invitations or the subtle ways that a girl shows you that she notices you, that comes with the territory of simply doing approaches over and over.

Honestly, I struggled with approach anxiety for a long time and despite what anybody told me (back then I had Franco, Light, and numerous other guys giving me advice) the fact was that none of them could approach for me, it was something I had to decide to do on my own. We can all list out the benefits of learning to approach, the "easier" ways to start doing so, etc. but the reality is that you're going to have to approach a woman and talk to her. After you take that first step it gets immensely easier.

Also, one last bit; when I was struggling with this I forced myself to directly compliment women - "Hey, I think you're attractive" or some other variation of that, and when I didn't get slapped in the face and when I wasn't mobbed to the gallows to be hung...a lot of the pressure I put on myself was relieved.

-Richard
 
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