Negative motivation?

[readjusting]

When I was on the field today, I had approach anxiety for half an hour. At that point, I looked at a family, and thought:
"Look at that guy. He has two kids. You have none, because you're a pussy and don't approach. So sad."
Instantly, I looked around, seeing a girl by the fountain, and I approached her.

Yesterday, similar story. I had approach anxiety at the bus stop when I saw a cute girl sitting there. I thought to myself "What the hell is wrong with you, man?", and I approached her.

My question: Does using negative motivation like this harm in the long run?

 

[Smith]

Yea man, in the long run, you'll burn too much will power this way. A better way is to be inspired to talk to her, like "She's adorable. Let's talk to her and have some fun!". then don't over think it. just do it. Beating yourself up works sometime if you really need a kick in the ass to get you going, but ideally come from the place of offering value and giving.

 

[Michal]

Hello,
Any negative comments that put you down like this will eventually be harmful. That is why those narcisistic dudes with big ego tend to do better in these scenarios because they are like "Man, I am awesome, how could she resist me" and he brings this energy with him.

In psychology, there is this "not yet" thing which is means you apply word yet at the end of these self comments, like "I dont have a family YET" or "I am so pathetic I cannot seduce a girl like that.. YET".

Or, you can tell yourself this, then look at the girl and be like ".. But maybe, this will be my future wife, lets go see". This helped me a lot when I was starting because I made assumptions about most girls that I felt strong pull toward that I thought she must have been taken, and then I would just be like"lets go find out".

M

 

[readjusting]

In psychology, there is this "not yet" thing which is means you apply word yet at the end of these self comments, like "I dont have a family YET" or "I am so pathetic I cannot seduce a girl like that.. YET".

Or, you can tell yourself this, then look at the girl and be like ".. But maybe, this will be my future wife, lets go see". This helped me a lot when I was starting because I made assumptions about most girls that I felt strong pull toward that I thought she must have been taken, and then I would just be like"lets go find out".
M

Michal,
This is perfect. It does help me approach with more positive vibe.