Newbie Assignment

[Dino]

In the past few weeks I have been watching a lot of videos and reading many articles on talking to girls. I have never had a serious girlfriend and am still a virgin, so my romantic experience is very minimum. I recently graduated from college and am now working as an accountant. Social anxiety has plagued me for a good portion of my life so I did not develop very good social skills and do not say much in social situations. I have decided to change this and rid myself of caring what other people think of me and improve my social skills. I am fairly good looking and well built, however I am on the short side (5 ft 6 in). I am not insecure of my height but i know it is a disadvantage and have used it as an excuse. 21yrs old.

I have gone out several times in the past few weeks with the intention of complimenting a girl and trying to ask her on a date. A majority of the time I just walked around and tried to talk myself into it, but never got the balls to approach a girl. There was one day that after walking around for a while I forced myself into a store and asked out a girl that worked there. She seemed flattered but said she had a boyfriend. I went out a couple more times and still had no approaches. I became very discouraged in myself and was having negative thoughts.

After reading the newbie challenges on this board I realized I needed to smart small with eye contact and body language before moving on to actually approaching. I work at a small college so there are a lot of girls that I could approach here, although I dont want to be the creepy employee hitting on students. I wish I would've decided to start this in college when there were plenty of girls around but now I have to drive far to get to a place to approach.

I believe mastering this skillset can be very beneficial in many parts of my life and I will use this a way to document my experiences and get feedback. Please feel free to reply as I am open to any advice i can get.

 

[Mike&Ikes]

I would recommend checking out some of these GirlsChase Articles:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/first-time-picking-girls-3-key-mindsets-help
https://www.girlschase.com/content/says-she-has-boyfriend-heres-why-it-doesnt-matter

These articles should give you the extra courage to approach more confidently, and knowing what to to if she says she’s got a boyfriend.

 

[Dino]

Started today with the goal of making eye contact with 10 girls. I work at a community college with plenty of girls so I just walked around and tried to make eye contact without being a creeper. I tried to make eye contact with atleast 20 but only 6 gave me the eye contact. 4 made contact and quickly looked away. 1 made contact and made sort of a smile but closed mouth. 1 made eye contact and quickly looked down to the ground.

I do an improv class to improve communication skills every Thursday at another college on my way home from work. I got to the college early to walk around and get the last 4 I needed. This was harder than I thought it'd be as many people at this college seemed to be in very tight knit groups and kept to themselves. After waking around for about an hour I got the last 4. 2 looked away quickly and 2 held the contact for a few seconds and smiled.

I'm not sure if I was doing this correctly. I was basically walking around and trying to make contact as I walked by girls. Also my neutral face makes me look sad/mad so I am working on maintaining a smile but it does not feel natural yet.
Tomorrow I am visiting a friend at a large college to party. I will make my goal to say "hi" or "how's it going" to 10 girls. Anything I can do to improve my neutral face?

 

[Mike&Ikes]

It’s been my experience that in school type situations, girls are really good at ignoring people, and PURPOSELY not making eye contact with others. It’s a way of showing social status and value. Typically you want girls to make eye contact with you first, then you look at them and smile. I suggest working on showing your social status appearance by looking straight ahead and not having a large awareness radius.

This article does a good job explaining this concept:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/awareness-radius-get-noticed-rewardpunish-and-more

So the gist is don’t be the first to make eye contact, but rather have a somewhat bored look on your face, so girls notice you first, and not the other way around.

-Micah

 

[Dino]

Thanks for the article I worked on the awareness radius and realized I do it naturally sometimes but for the wrong reasons. Me and my buddy ended up going to a club instead of a house party and the music was very loud so I didn't approach any girls with "hi", just danced with them which wasn't a complete loss I guess. Today while out before partying I will work on awareness radius and letting the girl make eye contact first. Also body language and walking more confidently. I'll tone my goal down a bit to saying "hi" to 6 girls. I am wondering if these should all be during the day before partying or if I should also count approaches while at the party. Any feedback or articles you think will help are much appreciated.

 

[Dino]

Went to local grocery store and completed the day 4 assignment. There was not many people there so not all 6 women were attractive. I was basically walking around doing some shopping and when in the same aisle I would say "hi, hows it going". The responses were all pretty much the same, saying "good how about you" and smiling. None turned into actual conversations. I also used the cashier as one while i was checking out (wasn't sure if that counted or not). It took me a while to do the first one but after that it was fairly easy.

My next goal will be to approach 6 girls and ask how their day is going. This is more of an open ended question so I'm assuming this should turn into somewhat of a conversation. Approaching people that work in a store or at a register seems to be easier but I am not sure if I should count those because they are being paid to help so will most likely not reject too harshly.

 

[Mike&Ikes]

You’ve got to turn the small talk into conversation YOURSELF if you want it to go anywhere. Girls almost never lead an interaction, and the ones that do, well, you should stay away from. Chase has made numerous articles on conversations (I would go into them myself, but there’s just so much to cover) so here are a few:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-get-out-polite-conversation
https://www.girlschase.com/content/...w.girlschase.com/content/conversation-example
https://www.girlschase.com/content/getting-past-small-talk

I know it’s a lot of reading, but trust me, it will help enormously.

-Micah

 

[Straza]

Micah

Nice article suggestions. Never saw a few of these

 

[Dino]

Thank you again MagicMicah for the article suggestions. Also, I am glad you said that if I wanted it to turn into a conversation I would have to initiate it. I read all of the articles and it was alot of good information so I appreciate you posting the links.

I went out a few times during the day and a few times at night over the past two weeks since last posting. I went out with the goal each time to approach 6 six girls and just say how's your day going. I asked people at my work this during the day to kind of warm up, however when I went out to approach a random i was not able to do it. I walked around like usual and ended up buying shit I didn't even need so I didn't look like a weirdo just walking around. I fell into a bit of a slump and was being a little too critical on myself and not having good thoughts. Also got sick for a few days so that didn't help much.

I went out today after work with the goal of just approaching one girl. I went to a clothing store and shopped around for a bit and casually observed the other people in the store to see if there was a girl I felt comfortable approaching. I saw a really cute girl in the shoe dept and eventually talked myself into going up to her and complimenting her. So at some point i went up next to her and just said, "excuse me, sorry to interrupt you but I just wanted to tell you that you are very attractive". And then she said thank you and i just walked away. I realize this wasn't much and I need to do more but I felt just starting with one at a time was better then not doing anything. My next goal will be to approach 3 attractive girls and ask how their day is going.

 

[Mike&Ikes]

Good job setting and reaching your goals. I highly suggest you continue the conversation to the best of your ability instead of stopping at “I think you’re really cute.” I know this will be nerve racking but you leave her thinking “huh that was weird” when you just stop at the compliment. Also this time, try experimenting with different openers like “excuse me, are you single” versus “excuse me, I think you’re really cute so I wanted to come talk to you.”
Here’s an article on that:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/game-openers-thatll-get-you-girls

All I can say is practice practice practice!

 

[rfjt]

I have to agree if you're gonna say the cute part might as well go for the gold and continue on. Or else just stick with the how's your day going. Shouldn't be too much pressure asking that. Then just continue on with whatever if you chose or just say the same auto response back or whatever and be on your way. I don't think at this point in the newbie assignment anyway you're expected to make anything happen. If it does it does though.

 

[Dino]

Went out several times over the past few weeks and didn't approach at all. Yesterday, drove to a larger city and was much more successful. Walked around and talked to random people to warm up (asked where there was good places to eat, ticket scalper, homeless guy, petition person). Talked to the first girl for about an hour. Mostly talked about what she did for work, what I did, where you from, hobbies, etc. I wasn't sure how to escalate or show romantic interest but after a while i told her i had to go meet up with some friends and told her to put her number in my phone. She said she didn't give her number out easily but added me on facebook.

I felt much more confident after the first approach lasted that long and approached around 20 after that. To keep it short i am struggling with what to do after talking for about 5 minutes. Each time I told the girl I had to go meet up with friends and got their number before I left. I am also wondering how long I should wait to text these girls and what i should text them.