- Joined
- Feb 10, 2017
- Messages
- 24
Guys I said that I would start posting regularly and here I am. Third one in a little over a month. Not every approach I make is worth a report in my opinion. But this one is because a lot of things were at work that helped things go my way. And, as you can probably surmise from the title, this wasn't the easiest thing in the world.
To set the scene, I go to a very wealthy area to a place that I've recently discovered. There is no cover, no line, and it's decently sized. However, inside, there is a good amount of people there. However, not too packed that it's annoying. And there's lots of seating to isolate if needed. On top of that there are very beautiful women regularly when I attend. Quickly becoming a go-to spot of mine. Today I'm solo as my friends couldn't go out (I also don't think it's a coincidence that approaches I find worth talking about are when I'm alone. I think being by myself really makes me push myself to really hone in on appraoching as I have no one to go back to). However, I'm sending them updates on what I'm doing throughout the night. It's something that keeps me grounded.
I walk in and since the door guys know me they let me through with no ID. Always feels good when that happens even though it's technically not that big of a deal. The moment I go in I text my guys "I need to make an approach and get it out of the way and I try to spot a good target. That didn't happen because I actually saw someone who I thought I looked familiar. And surely enough it was someone I knew--a woman I had met in the city out at night on several different nights and her friend who I also had met on one of the nights.
[Before I go further, I do want to say that a lot of this will be exposition. I debated on whether I wanted to include it or go the main interaction I'd be talking about. But I believe that these moments were crucial to me being in a state to handle that interaction. But if you don't care feel free to skip straight to the interaction which I'll have in big bold letters.]
We never coordinated to see each other--just happened to run into each other. However, what's important is that one of the times we hung out she described her type and it's pretty particular. And maybe three weeks ago, I saw someone working at a restaurant I was patronizing that was her type to a T and I tried to set her up. He was down but it didn't work out for reasons I had no control over. However, she brought it up and said that I did a good job and he was indeed her type and she appreciated me trying.
So the ladies are discussing how they're really here looking for someone and I ask her friend's type and she has a particular type that is a specific type of white boy. They then ask me what my type is and I quote Swae Lee: "I ain't got no type. Bad bitches are the only thing that I like."
I then turn to the girl who I tried to set up and ask her if she'll wing me. I tell her that she owes me and she says sure but she doesn't know what to say to wing a guy. She usually only does it for girls. Her friend tells me to point out a woman and they'll help me out. Right as she's saying this, a gorgeous woman perches right next to her and I tell her I think that girl is really beautiful. And sure enough, she says hi to her and points to me. And then I promptly take over and start a conversation. I get this girl's instagram but I don't sense much of an attraction there and don't even bother following her. I then go back to the girls and they're super excited. It was honestly adorable.
I compliment the friend and say "You killed it. You did what you had to do." and they ask me how it went and I'm honest. I tell them she was really kind, but I don't think there was any real interest there. But I did get her Instagram. We then circle back to how they're looking for men and they complain that men don't approach them or something. So I tell them why don't you talk to them first and they're disgusted by that idea--saying men should be men. And the one I know better admits something: "Honestly I can't handle rejection. If you were to go to a guy and point me out to him and then come back and say he's not interested I don't think I could handle it."
So I attempt to try to have them empathize with men: "How do you think a man feels? It's a lot of rejection. But he can't show it. He has to just move onto the next."
And they essentially say, "That's why we're not men! We're women!" And--you know--can't argue with that logic.
The one that I know the most gets chatted up by a guy in a wig so me and her friend start really going in on the topic of approaching and how she wants men to do it. And I'm fascinated so I truly talk to her. I won't go into everything but something that struck me as interesting was when I was telling her that a lot of guys aren't "afraid" per se to approach but that they feel it isn't worth it. So I told her I think it would behoove her to make it more obvious she wants someone to approach so a guy thinks it's worth his time. And I gave an example of the very subtle look girls will give when a guy walks past that they're interested, telling her that many guys might see it and second-guess themselves and thus not approach. I suggested that a small wave and smile would be much better. But apparently that was too much and she said this:
And I think that pretty much sums things up perfectly. When I asked even if it meant many men you don't want to approach you will approach you she was still adamant. If there was any doubt you should approach if you like a girl, hopefully it's quelled. Women want someone willing to take a chance and risk rejection.
Anyway, they end up going to the bathroom and--despite truly fun conversation with them--I know it's time to focus up. I walk onto the dance floor and I see a dude I saw the previous night. He actually suggested I come back on Saturday, saying it's better. Clearly he didn't think I had been there before and I didn't bother correcting him. He has a section and says he would invite me over but that they have a new rule where you need wristbands to be in that area. He isn't willing to give me one because they're "for the hoes" (dude had like 15, so unless he was genghis khan I think he could have spared ONE, but it is what it is). And sure enough the girl who this report is named after was there and drinking out of their bottle.
After a while on the dance floor where nothing eventful happened I circle back to the bar area and run into someone (a guy this time) who I've seen out here a couple times as well. We catch up very briefly and then keep it pushing. Back at the bar area, I see the girls I know in a conversation with some dude and right next to them is a girl I had seen earlier who I thought was kinda cute getting a drink. Immediately I see an opportunity to build compliance:
Once the drink arrives, she promptly gives it to me and I go into the set.
The convo went along these veins. One of the girls is looking at me as I'm having this convo basically giving me a thumbs up and I'm trying my hardest not to laugh.
This girl compliments my outfit (which my friend from earlier also did, so I really killed it. But this girl works in fashion so bonus points too).
I could go into more detail on this convo but there's no need. However, I will leave you with the line that got the best reaction of the night. We were talking about meeting up and for some reason she mentioned how she knows that she's beautiful and how I know that I'm handsome so why not have a good time--or something of the sort. So I tell her:
She absolutely loses it laughing and says "You're really funny!" I get the number and then exit set. At this point I'm feeling really really good. However, I do want to point out there was one approach I did that didn't go horrible but didn't go great that I did after this one. Just so you have the full picture.
READ HERE FOR THE TITLE APPROACH
Like I said, I was feeling really good tonight--just in a great mood. So I walk back onto the dance floor. At this point it's about twenty minutes until closing so it's crunch time. I see her...and she's talking to another guy. However, her friend is with her, dancing next to her as her friend is dancing/talking with this guy. I do not know why but this girl suddenly backs into me and her butt is on my crotch. I immediately grab her waist thinking that she wants to dance. However, she looks back and immediately scampers away.
I failed the look-back test. Brutal.
I think to myself "Damn! Social standing took a bit of a hit and I don't think the girl I want will like me after seeing her friend do that."
But then immediately I think: "Wait. Her friend wasn't looking at all when that happened so it probably didn't. And more importantly, since the friend doesn't like me it shouldn't spark any jealousy and problems for me if the girl I want does like me."
I believe that the positive state I was in allowed me to turn this rejection into a positive for me. I am not sure if I hadn't had the good momentum built up that I would have done this. I might have said that girl and her friend are a no-go.
I'm determined to approach. I just want an opportune time. And that time would come soon.
Her friend that scampered from me gets into conversation with a man and they're engaged (he looks completely different from me, so maybe that's why lol). Whether she's attracted to that guy or just entertained I don't care. She's occupied and won't IMMEDIATELY drag her away from me if I start talking, which was the only thing that could be detrimental.
My girl is in the corner of the dance floor but she's on the phone. I'm not too far from her. And I am watching like a hawk out of the corner of my eye for the moment she gets off that phone.
Eventually she does and I immediately go in. Before going in I knew three things: 1. I would NOT compliment her looks at all (I don't think I complimented her at all now that I think of it). I am not as steadfast as other guys on this rule but with a girl like this I knew it would be necessary. 2. I needed to draw her out of the mindset of a "club girl". This girl was at tables all night, getting things because of how she looked. I needed to challenge that and make her qualify on something aside from that. And 3. Instagram was unacceptable. Didn't have to know the follower count and didn't have to know her profession--both of which I had no idea of at that moment. I could just tell. It was number or bust:
Not exactly magical verbal game here but it allowed for two things. It shifts her mind away from partying (clubbing) to the end of the night. Second, "What the fuck did I just do?" could be taken two ways. It could be like "Wow I was really wilding. Did I really hop from section to section like that?" or it could be "Wow. Yeah I got all these things, but at the end of the night what did it really do for me? I still feel empty." I hope that by what she says and the way she answers I could tell which state of mind she's in. I obviously am hoping for the second option.
I notice that she's wearing some jewelry on her neck and I ask her if it has any significance. She says it doesn't. I ask her if she wears any jewelry that has any significance to her. She's kinda bland and shows me the rings she's wearing and basically says they don't mean much that she just buys what she likes.
I don't remember exactly what was said after but she said something that discussed making slightly rash decisions and potentially regretting them. I then told her a story about a purchase I made of an expensive watch (it was the watch I was wearing but I made a point NOT to point it out) because they said they'd lower the price. I told her that I sort of regretted but I didn't at the same time, matching her energy. She seems mildly amused by the story and mildly interested in the convo. But more needs to be done.
At this point, she's opened up a little more, and I think she definitely sees I'm attempting to get to know her for things outside of how pretty she is. But I still feel I need a bit more. So I use a line that I normally would use when I see more buy-in:
I've asked this question quite a few times and I've NEVER seen anyone take this long to think of an answer. She was looking around trying to think so much that I was legit wondering if she was just showing disinterest in conversing anymore. Eventually she settles on:
Yes, seriously. That's what she said. I was in disbelief at that answer.
I chuckle then put my hand on her shoulder:
And boy does it impact her a bit. She immediately starts acting like she might leave, leaning slightly away from me.
Maybe this is me being too nice or maybe I was reading it right, but at this point I think to myself I might need to give her a little bit. I really haven't boosted her ego at all and I could tell that this really did sting her. However, I know that I can't apologize (nor do I feel ANY need to) So I say:
At this point, I'm a little annoyed she can't get past this, so I try being incredibly genuine in terms of my demeanor. I put my hand on her shoulder once again and I look her in her eyes:
She laughs and at this point the friend comes and grabs her arm. However, she does not take the excuse to leave and around this time the lights turn on. I know I don't have too much time and I need to grab the info soon. But first I know I need to acknowledge the friend.
Immediately she looks away and disengages, but her hand is still on my girl's arm. Fine with me. I made it clear I wouldn't just ignore her. Back to my girl:
As I'm leaving, I make a light joke about how she seems to know everybody here and she downplays it, saying she doesn't.
Worth noting that at the beginning of the conversation, (before the personality part) a dude came up and interrupted our convo to ask her to come to an after party and when she asked what the address was he showed her but made sure I couldn't see the phone. He left but she still continued to talk to me. Then he came again to say that they were all leaving but this time invited me as well. And the only reason I could think of a guy inviting me (someone he hadn't talked to once) to an after-party is that she thought we might be leaving together. That told me that to people looking form outside it seemed like we were more locked in than before. Also, she suddenly showed no interest in the after party telling me that the guy was "fucking weird." Also, as we were getting contact information I saw her phone and on instagram she got a message from somebody who I met once out in the area. We followed each other that day and still do. I asked her if she knew him. I tell her I only met him one time but he was a cool dude so it's cool she knows him too (It might have been attractive that I talked positive about a dude while others might have gotten jealous. Idk)
Anyway, I hug her goodbye and I'm feeling good. The girls I was with asked me to give them a progress report and when I go to find them they're in conversation with some dude, who I think wants the friend. The girl I know more asks me how it went so I tell her I got this girl's number and it was pretty difficult cause she was very popular. And she wants to see her cause I'm saying she was really pretty. We go to the dance floor to try and find her but I couldn't find her at that point, and the club is closing. So I say she might have left and we all leave together.
Now, up to this point, I hadn't bothered discussing how attractive the friend I tried to set up and her friend was. But now, it becomes pretty important. The one I tried to set up is pretty attractive. I thought so when I first saw her and was thinking of going after her, but ended against it at that moment. Her friend is also very pretty as well. Less attractive to me but I could see guys thinking otherwise. They're both middle eastern.
This matters because as we're walking out she's actually at the bar talking to the guy that was in her DMs, and she's facing away from the bar looking directly at people walking toward the exit--including me and these two girls. Heavy preselection. I point her out to them and they both agree she's pretty. I don't acknowledge her as I walk out. And though I didn't catch her glance in my direction, there is simply no way she didn't see it. And it's excellent for me. I even tell my friend:
This was last night. I sent her an icebreaker text:
To which she responded four minutes later:
Takeaways
I just don't think momentum can be understated. Running into those girls and having familiar faces to come to was a big benefit. Really got the night started off right. Letting them help me with an approach by wingwomanning practically guaranteed me a positive reaction for my first approach, allowing me to get the first approach jitters out of the way without the risk of a brutal rejection potentially fucking up my state of mind. Then, of course, they were incredibly helpful for preselection at the end.
Also, doing acts of kindness for people could always come back to help you. For instance, she told me her preferences and--despite us not knowing each other that well--I decided to try to set her up with someone that I knew she found attractive. Since she brought it up first by saying it didn't work out, not me, I imagine she truly appreciated that and that's partially why she was hyping me up all night and really trying to help me find somebody, even if just by cheering me on.
I also tailored my approach to the girl I was with and what was happening that night. I did not compliment her directly on her looks. I vaguely gave her an indirect compliment when I mentioned how "I couldn't handle" having looks be a requirement for work. I also made sure to skip the usual club talk: "Do you like it here?" "Are you from around here?" etc. I knew I needed to get below surface level as quickly as possible.
I also reframed my mental from a potential negative to a positive with her friend deciding not to dance with me.
Lastly, I wasn't afraid to offend, but I didn't look to do so either. Obviously, the personality statement embodies this. Though I did offend her, I did show some level of sensitivity by becoming genuine and giving her a little. My goal isn't to make people feel bad, but I won't apologize if I do.
Looking back on it, I do think I could have incorporated more physical touch, but ultimately it was a great night and a solid approach.
The only thing I find mildly concerning looking back is she didn't really ask me any questions about myself...
Anyway, that's the report. As always, feedback is welcome. Till next time!
To set the scene, I go to a very wealthy area to a place that I've recently discovered. There is no cover, no line, and it's decently sized. However, inside, there is a good amount of people there. However, not too packed that it's annoying. And there's lots of seating to isolate if needed. On top of that there are very beautiful women regularly when I attend. Quickly becoming a go-to spot of mine. Today I'm solo as my friends couldn't go out (I also don't think it's a coincidence that approaches I find worth talking about are when I'm alone. I think being by myself really makes me push myself to really hone in on appraoching as I have no one to go back to). However, I'm sending them updates on what I'm doing throughout the night. It's something that keeps me grounded.
I walk in and since the door guys know me they let me through with no ID. Always feels good when that happens even though it's technically not that big of a deal. The moment I go in I text my guys "I need to make an approach and get it out of the way and I try to spot a good target. That didn't happen because I actually saw someone who I thought I looked familiar. And surely enough it was someone I knew--a woman I had met in the city out at night on several different nights and her friend who I also had met on one of the nights.
[Before I go further, I do want to say that a lot of this will be exposition. I debated on whether I wanted to include it or go the main interaction I'd be talking about. But I believe that these moments were crucial to me being in a state to handle that interaction. But if you don't care feel free to skip straight to the interaction which I'll have in big bold letters.]
We never coordinated to see each other--just happened to run into each other. However, what's important is that one of the times we hung out she described her type and it's pretty particular. And maybe three weeks ago, I saw someone working at a restaurant I was patronizing that was her type to a T and I tried to set her up. He was down but it didn't work out for reasons I had no control over. However, she brought it up and said that I did a good job and he was indeed her type and she appreciated me trying.
So the ladies are discussing how they're really here looking for someone and I ask her friend's type and she has a particular type that is a specific type of white boy. They then ask me what my type is and I quote Swae Lee: "I ain't got no type. Bad bitches are the only thing that I like."
I then turn to the girl who I tried to set up and ask her if she'll wing me. I tell her that she owes me and she says sure but she doesn't know what to say to wing a guy. She usually only does it for girls. Her friend tells me to point out a woman and they'll help me out. Right as she's saying this, a gorgeous woman perches right next to her and I tell her I think that girl is really beautiful. And sure enough, she says hi to her and points to me. And then I promptly take over and start a conversation. I get this girl's instagram but I don't sense much of an attraction there and don't even bother following her. I then go back to the girls and they're super excited. It was honestly adorable.
I compliment the friend and say "You killed it. You did what you had to do." and they ask me how it went and I'm honest. I tell them she was really kind, but I don't think there was any real interest there. But I did get her Instagram. We then circle back to how they're looking for men and they complain that men don't approach them or something. So I tell them why don't you talk to them first and they're disgusted by that idea--saying men should be men. And the one I know better admits something: "Honestly I can't handle rejection. If you were to go to a guy and point me out to him and then come back and say he's not interested I don't think I could handle it."
So I attempt to try to have them empathize with men: "How do you think a man feels? It's a lot of rejection. But he can't show it. He has to just move onto the next."
And they essentially say, "That's why we're not men! We're women!" And--you know--can't argue with that logic.
The one that I know the most gets chatted up by a guy in a wig so me and her friend start really going in on the topic of approaching and how she wants men to do it. And I'm fascinated so I truly talk to her. I won't go into everything but something that struck me as interesting was when I was telling her that a lot of guys aren't "afraid" per se to approach but that they feel it isn't worth it. So I told her I think it would behoove her to make it more obvious she wants someone to approach so a guy thinks it's worth his time. And I gave an example of the very subtle look girls will give when a guy walks past that they're interested, telling her that many guys might see it and second-guess themselves and thus not approach. I suggested that a small wave and smile would be much better. But apparently that was too much and she said this:
And I think that pretty much sums things up perfectly. When I asked even if it meant many men you don't want to approach you will approach you she was still adamant. If there was any doubt you should approach if you like a girl, hopefully it's quelled. Women want someone willing to take a chance and risk rejection.
Anyway, they end up going to the bathroom and--despite truly fun conversation with them--I know it's time to focus up. I walk onto the dance floor and I see a dude I saw the previous night. He actually suggested I come back on Saturday, saying it's better. Clearly he didn't think I had been there before and I didn't bother correcting him. He has a section and says he would invite me over but that they have a new rule where you need wristbands to be in that area. He isn't willing to give me one because they're "for the hoes" (dude had like 15, so unless he was genghis khan I think he could have spared ONE, but it is what it is). And sure enough the girl who this report is named after was there and drinking out of their bottle.
After a while on the dance floor where nothing eventful happened I circle back to the bar area and run into someone (a guy this time) who I've seen out here a couple times as well. We catch up very briefly and then keep it pushing. Back at the bar area, I see the girls I know in a conversation with some dude and right next to them is a girl I had seen earlier who I thought was kinda cute getting a drink. Immediately I see an opportunity to build compliance:
Once the drink arrives, she promptly gives it to me and I go into the set.
The convo went along these veins. One of the girls is looking at me as I'm having this convo basically giving me a thumbs up and I'm trying my hardest not to laugh.
This girl compliments my outfit (which my friend from earlier also did, so I really killed it. But this girl works in fashion so bonus points too).
I could go into more detail on this convo but there's no need. However, I will leave you with the line that got the best reaction of the night. We were talking about meeting up and for some reason she mentioned how she knows that she's beautiful and how I know that I'm handsome so why not have a good time--or something of the sort. So I tell her:
She absolutely loses it laughing and says "You're really funny!" I get the number and then exit set. At this point I'm feeling really really good. However, I do want to point out there was one approach I did that didn't go horrible but didn't go great that I did after this one. Just so you have the full picture.
READ HERE FOR THE TITLE APPROACH
Like I said, I was feeling really good tonight--just in a great mood. So I walk back onto the dance floor. At this point it's about twenty minutes until closing so it's crunch time. I see her...and she's talking to another guy. However, her friend is with her, dancing next to her as her friend is dancing/talking with this guy. I do not know why but this girl suddenly backs into me and her butt is on my crotch. I immediately grab her waist thinking that she wants to dance. However, she looks back and immediately scampers away.
I failed the look-back test. Brutal.
I think to myself "Damn! Social standing took a bit of a hit and I don't think the girl I want will like me after seeing her friend do that."
But then immediately I think: "Wait. Her friend wasn't looking at all when that happened so it probably didn't. And more importantly, since the friend doesn't like me it shouldn't spark any jealousy and problems for me if the girl I want does like me."
I believe that the positive state I was in allowed me to turn this rejection into a positive for me. I am not sure if I hadn't had the good momentum built up that I would have done this. I might have said that girl and her friend are a no-go.
I'm determined to approach. I just want an opportune time. And that time would come soon.
Her friend that scampered from me gets into conversation with a man and they're engaged (he looks completely different from me, so maybe that's why lol). Whether she's attracted to that guy or just entertained I don't care. She's occupied and won't IMMEDIATELY drag her away from me if I start talking, which was the only thing that could be detrimental.
My girl is in the corner of the dance floor but she's on the phone. I'm not too far from her. And I am watching like a hawk out of the corner of my eye for the moment she gets off that phone.
Eventually she does and I immediately go in. Before going in I knew three things: 1. I would NOT compliment her looks at all (I don't think I complimented her at all now that I think of it). I am not as steadfast as other guys on this rule but with a girl like this I knew it would be necessary. 2. I needed to draw her out of the mindset of a "club girl". This girl was at tables all night, getting things because of how she looked. I needed to challenge that and make her qualify on something aside from that. And 3. Instagram was unacceptable. Didn't have to know the follower count and didn't have to know her profession--both of which I had no idea of at that moment. I could just tell. It was number or bust:
Not exactly magical verbal game here but it allowed for two things. It shifts her mind away from partying (clubbing) to the end of the night. Second, "What the fuck did I just do?" could be taken two ways. It could be like "Wow I was really wilding. Did I really hop from section to section like that?" or it could be "Wow. Yeah I got all these things, but at the end of the night what did it really do for me? I still feel empty." I hope that by what she says and the way she answers I could tell which state of mind she's in. I obviously am hoping for the second option.
I notice that she's wearing some jewelry on her neck and I ask her if it has any significance. She says it doesn't. I ask her if she wears any jewelry that has any significance to her. She's kinda bland and shows me the rings she's wearing and basically says they don't mean much that she just buys what she likes.
I don't remember exactly what was said after but she said something that discussed making slightly rash decisions and potentially regretting them. I then told her a story about a purchase I made of an expensive watch (it was the watch I was wearing but I made a point NOT to point it out) because they said they'd lower the price. I told her that I sort of regretted but I didn't at the same time, matching her energy. She seems mildly amused by the story and mildly interested in the convo. But more needs to be done.
Obviously that last question is the money maker. It does a lot of things. First it really forces this girl to think about the way she looks beyond what it does for her but rather how it could be limiting. Second, I indirectly call her attractive in a way that doesn't boost her ego. Three, and this I'm only realizing as I'm writing this. It probably is a very different response than what she usually gets to being an NFL cheerleader. I imagine many ask if they've met so-and-so player (as I'm writing this not in seduction mode, I'm wondering the same thing lol), immediately taking the convo away from what her job means to her.
At this point, she's opened up a little more, and I think she definitely sees I'm attempting to get to know her for things outside of how pretty she is. But I still feel I need a bit more. So I use a line that I normally would use when I see more buy-in:
I've asked this question quite a few times and I've NEVER seen anyone take this long to think of an answer. She was looking around trying to think so much that I was legit wondering if she was just showing disinterest in conversing anymore. Eventually she settles on:
Yes, seriously. That's what she said. I was in disbelief at that answer.
I chuckle then put my hand on her shoulder:
And boy does it impact her a bit. She immediately starts acting like she might leave, leaning slightly away from me.
Maybe this is me being too nice or maybe I was reading it right, but at this point I think to myself I might need to give her a little bit. I really haven't boosted her ego at all and I could tell that this really did sting her. However, I know that I can't apologize (nor do I feel ANY need to) So I say:
At this point, I'm a little annoyed she can't get past this, so I try being incredibly genuine in terms of my demeanor. I put my hand on her shoulder once again and I look her in her eyes:
She laughs and at this point the friend comes and grabs her arm. However, she does not take the excuse to leave and around this time the lights turn on. I know I don't have too much time and I need to grab the info soon. But first I know I need to acknowledge the friend.
Immediately she looks away and disengages, but her hand is still on my girl's arm. Fine with me. I made it clear I wouldn't just ignore her. Back to my girl:
As I'm leaving, I make a light joke about how she seems to know everybody here and she downplays it, saying she doesn't.
Worth noting that at the beginning of the conversation, (before the personality part) a dude came up and interrupted our convo to ask her to come to an after party and when she asked what the address was he showed her but made sure I couldn't see the phone. He left but she still continued to talk to me. Then he came again to say that they were all leaving but this time invited me as well. And the only reason I could think of a guy inviting me (someone he hadn't talked to once) to an after-party is that she thought we might be leaving together. That told me that to people looking form outside it seemed like we were more locked in than before. Also, she suddenly showed no interest in the after party telling me that the guy was "fucking weird." Also, as we were getting contact information I saw her phone and on instagram she got a message from somebody who I met once out in the area. We followed each other that day and still do. I asked her if she knew him. I tell her I only met him one time but he was a cool dude so it's cool she knows him too (It might have been attractive that I talked positive about a dude while others might have gotten jealous. Idk)
Anyway, I hug her goodbye and I'm feeling good. The girls I was with asked me to give them a progress report and when I go to find them they're in conversation with some dude, who I think wants the friend. The girl I know more asks me how it went so I tell her I got this girl's number and it was pretty difficult cause she was very popular. And she wants to see her cause I'm saying she was really pretty. We go to the dance floor to try and find her but I couldn't find her at that point, and the club is closing. So I say she might have left and we all leave together.
Now, up to this point, I hadn't bothered discussing how attractive the friend I tried to set up and her friend was. But now, it becomes pretty important. The one I tried to set up is pretty attractive. I thought so when I first saw her and was thinking of going after her, but ended against it at that moment. Her friend is also very pretty as well. Less attractive to me but I could see guys thinking otherwise. They're both middle eastern.
This matters because as we're walking out she's actually at the bar talking to the guy that was in her DMs, and she's facing away from the bar looking directly at people walking toward the exit--including me and these two girls. Heavy preselection. I point her out to them and they both agree she's pretty. I don't acknowledge her as I walk out. And though I didn't catch her glance in my direction, there is simply no way she didn't see it. And it's excellent for me. I even tell my friend:
This was last night. I sent her an icebreaker text:
"christie, happy to have met u
"~*my name*"
To which she responded four minutes later:
Takeaways
I just don't think momentum can be understated. Running into those girls and having familiar faces to come to was a big benefit. Really got the night started off right. Letting them help me with an approach by wingwomanning practically guaranteed me a positive reaction for my first approach, allowing me to get the first approach jitters out of the way without the risk of a brutal rejection potentially fucking up my state of mind. Then, of course, they were incredibly helpful for preselection at the end.
Also, doing acts of kindness for people could always come back to help you. For instance, she told me her preferences and--despite us not knowing each other that well--I decided to try to set her up with someone that I knew she found attractive. Since she brought it up first by saying it didn't work out, not me, I imagine she truly appreciated that and that's partially why she was hyping me up all night and really trying to help me find somebody, even if just by cheering me on.
I also tailored my approach to the girl I was with and what was happening that night. I did not compliment her directly on her looks. I vaguely gave her an indirect compliment when I mentioned how "I couldn't handle" having looks be a requirement for work. I also made sure to skip the usual club talk: "Do you like it here?" "Are you from around here?" etc. I knew I needed to get below surface level as quickly as possible.
I also reframed my mental from a potential negative to a positive with her friend deciding not to dance with me.
Lastly, I wasn't afraid to offend, but I didn't look to do so either. Obviously, the personality statement embodies this. Though I did offend her, I did show some level of sensitivity by becoming genuine and giving her a little. My goal isn't to make people feel bad, but I won't apologize if I do.
Looking back on it, I do think I could have incorporated more physical touch, but ultimately it was a great night and a solid approach.
The only thing I find mildly concerning looking back is she didn't really ask me any questions about myself...
Anyway, that's the report. As always, feedback is welcome. Till next time!
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