LR Non-Compliant HB9 Flips Like A Switch

[NarrowJ]

Here's the back story on this one, in case people reading this missed it. I met this girl 2 years ago online, and I could never get her out way back when. Eventually I stopped texting. She recently messaged me on Facebook, so I asked her out again- and she obliged. We went out for sushi for the 1st date, and I had a time constraint so I couldn't hang out more than a couple hours. After the first date, she started being just a tad flaky. Not super compliant, switching venues on me for the 2nd date, stuff like that.

So- 2nd date: Yesterday I meet her after work (5:30 PM). I am a little late because of traffic, so she's waiting in her car in the parking lot when I get there. I park a little further away and as I walk to the entrance she spots me and exits her car. The first date, I didn’t know what to think because she showed up in jeans and a hoodie. Today? She has a nice dress on, showing plenty of skin

We enter the restaurant. I have seen decreasing amounts of compliance from her since the first date for some reason. So I make it a point to choose where we sit. I lead her to the bar area and I’m trying to decide whether to sit at the bar or get a table. I remember Franco’s comments in a thread over on the General board, about sitting across from your date and the video he shared- so I motion to one of the servers and ask “Can we have this corner booth here?”

We sit and order drinks and eventually our meals. Conversation is going really well, although she is making me talk quite a bit more than she did on the first date. The first date, she basically rambled on and on about various things. I’m having to drive the conversation a bit more this time. I hit on some subjects that I know interest her. We start talking about our pets and she makes mention of how she had a sex party a couple of months ago and something about her cat playing with the dildos or something? She is laughing uncontrollably while telling me about this. I am smiling (not laughing) as if it’s only mildly amusing. I tell her that I could tell that about her- that she was a little “sex-crazed kitten” herself She likes this comment. Conversation does not stay on this topic long, but I come back to it a couple more times in appropriate situations during the interaction.

After we’re done eating, it’s still only about 7 PM. I’ve re-seeded some things throughout the first hour or so here to try to get her “ready” to go back to my place. We both only had one drink with our meals, she says she wants a couple more. I tell her I have a bottle of wine at my place that she has to try; it’s delicious. She declines, and tells me: “Let’s go to [place X] and have a couple more drinks and go from there”. Again, not letting me lead the interaction. I’m a bit disappointed, but I oblige. We drive separately and head over there.

We get to this place, and it seems like she knows EVERYONE there. I introduce myself to a couple of them, and then she starts to sort of take me around the room and has me meet a couple more people. Eventually she mentions that she worked here as a server up until a few months ago as a side job for extra money a couple nights a week. I think to myself that this date is a big waste of time. One of the friends sits with us at a table and starts showing us some app on her phone and they’re both having a good time talking about it and laughing. The friend eventually says “well I’ll leave you two alone” and goes and sits with some other people. At this point, we’ve not even finished our first drink at this venue and she says to me “Oh, this place sucks. Do you want to come to my house? I happen to have some wine at my house too.” Now I’m a little intrigued. I couldn’t pull her back to my place, but she’s inviting me over. Ok, let’s do this.

Again, driving separately we head to her house. I come inside and I’m standing by the kitchen counter while she pours a couple glasses of wine. Her cat is checking me out. I’m petting the cat and we’re talking as she pours the wine. She pours the glasses completely full so I make the remark “You’re trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me! I knew it!” She likes this comment, and smiles but not necessarily in a blushing sort of way. I like that she isn’t shy or awkward. She carries the wine into her living room and sits the glasses on the coffee table and turns on the TV. She sits on the couch, and I sit down so close to her that our legs are touching. She goes to grab her glass of wine to take a sip, and I grab her hand out of mid air and she gives me this surprised look like “oh my! What?” and I look her dead in the eyes, reach out with my other hand and touch her face and move my head slowly toward hers. Her eyes close instantly and we kiss. I don’t pull back quickly enough, she pulls back first. But she comments “Oh wow.” And NOW she is blushing. I kiss her again softly, but this time I make sure to pull back pretty quickly. I continue to talk to her, basically like nothing is happening. I start to get my hands on her legs, and eventually up her dress and she does not fight me when I begin touching her pussy. I don’t wait long to insert a finger. She’s breathing heavily. I sense that I’m not going to get any LMR at all. I start to undo my pants and she just says “oh… ok” and from here I lead her to some really good sex on her couch. Eventually we move to her bedroom for more sex.

After the sex, I hold her and we talk a bit. Eventually we’re not talking anymore and just laying there. At some point I look over and she is asleep. I get up, put my clothes on and leave. I text her this morning, “Last night was kick-ass. We make a good team. ” and she responds “Oh my god. The things you did to my body!!”

Let’s just say that I think I’ll be seeing her again.

 

[The Tool]

Nice one Narrow J. Well done

Good job on the sexual Framing and not being hesitant to make a move.
Cheers, The Tool

 

[trashKENNUT]

NarrowJ,

Love the post. you don't panic and recover after she pull out the first kiss.

Zac

 

[Laowai]

Good job, I was curious about this one. In this kind of situation you should push for getting information after you've closed her while you're pillow-talking after sexing her up. - Information about her behaviour and actions, and what she thought, etc. I'm for example somewhat baffled as to her sudden lack of compliance between dates 1 and 2, and her sudden decision to take you home with her, knowing that the two of you were probably going to have sex. A bit of "after sex debriefing" where you address her reasoning in a cutesy way would help in this regard, would make you understand her better, AND help in future sarges with other girls.

The only thing I can think of is that this was her way of remaining in control of the interaction - SHE makes to move to leave with you to a sex location, AND it is HER's. Again, it's HER logistics, and hence she will be more in control. She is calling the shots here, so maybe she wasn't entirely comfortable with you at some level to follow your lead? Good job on remaining flexible and moving smoothly away from your logistical ladder of progression (towards your place) and not reacting.

I'm guessing it also worked to your advantage that you didn't react to meeting all her friends at the bar, which would have annoyed a lot of guys... AND that the friends seemed to like you, which gave you some social proof.

Well done.

 

[Tyme2k]

I'm guessing it also worked to your advantage that you didn't react to meeting all her friends at the bar, which would have annoyed a lot of guys... AND that the friends seemed to like you, which gave you some social proof.

I definitely agree with this. You handled this perfectly and that's why she flipped.

Great LR.

 

[NarrowJ]

Here's my notes on this so far. Should effectively respond to all. Oh, and thanks to all who have provided props and/or feedback here.

1. Women are so impulsive. A few points along the way I felt like the date was a lost cause, but kept my composure with the hopes that at some point there would be a shining moment for me, or something would happen and get her to change her tune and play along with my gestures.

2. Was baffled by the absence of any LMR. However, I seem to get less LMR with women that put up a fight or act aloof/non-compliant in the lead up. Maybe they feel like they've been difficult enough as it is, and that they'll lose me if they resist? She had a dress on, so I was quick to get my hands on her goodies. That may have had a lot to do with it also.

3. Laowai and Tyme may have it here. I think the social proof closed the deal. I said in the FR that I sensed she saw me as boyfriend material. She probably wanted to have friends approve? This is further evidenced to me by comments she made during the date. She would make comments that seemed to lock in future interaction, such as:

"wait until you meet my sister, she likes it too and will be so pumped that you're a fan!"

And

"Yeah well next time I see you were going to have to do that!

Or

"So we have to try [insert restaurant here] sometime! You'll love it!"

 

[Laowai]

I think she basically made up her mind to bang you when you were at the bar with her friends. Seeing how you got accepted by all her friends so easily finally convinced her, rationally, that you're awesome. That could also be a reason she didn't give any LMR.

Also, she already communicated that she likes you by future projecting activities with you and her in them. The BF zone, perhaps, but you moved fast and made things happen.

Now you're in a position to make her a regular, a FWB, or a GF.

 

[Chase]

J / fellas with questions about her behavior-

I have seen decreasing amounts of compliance from her since the first date for some reason.

We start talking about our pets and she makes mention of how she had a sex party a couple of months ago and something about her cat playing with the dildos or something? She is laughing uncontrollably while telling me about this. I am smiling (not laughing) as if it’s only mildly amusing. I tell her that I could tell that about her- that she was a little “sex-crazed kitten” herself She likes this comment. Conversation does not stay on this topic long, but I come back to it a couple more times in appropriate situations during the interaction.

I tell her I have a bottle of wine at my place that she has to try; it’s delicious. She declines, and tells me: “Let’s go to [place X] and have a couple more drinks and go from there”. Again, not letting me lead the interaction. I’m a bit disappointed, but I oblige. We drive separately and head over there.

We get to this place, and it seems like she knows EVERYONE there. I introduce myself to a couple of them, and then she starts to sort of take me around the room and has me meet a couple more people. Eventually she mentions that she worked here as a server up until a few months ago as a side job for extra money a couple nights a week.

The friend eventually says “well I’ll leave you two alone” and goes and sits with some other people. At this point, we’ve not even finished our first drink at this venue and she says to me “Oh, this place sucks. Do you want to come to my house? I happen to have some wine at my house too.” Now I’m a little intrigued. I couldn’t pull her back to my place, but she’s inviting me over. Ok, let’s do this.

I grab her hand out of mid air and she gives me this surprised look like “oh my! What?” and I look her dead in the eyes, reach out with my other hand and touch her face and move my head slowly toward hers. Her eyes close instantly and we kiss. I don’t pull back quickly enough, she pulls back first. But she comments “Oh wow.” And NOW she is blushing.

I start to undo my pants and she just says “oh… ok” and from here I lead her to some really good sex on her couch. Eventually we move to her bedroom for more sex.

I text her this morning, “Last night was kick-ass. We make a good team. ” and she responds “Oh my god. The things you did to my body!!”

When you see things like this:

• Comfortable / accustomed to taking the lead with men
• Is very sexually open / discusses somewhat outlandish sexual things early on and is comfortable doing so
• Unflustered when you invite her home and deftly redirecting to something else
• Is a regular in a bar / knows lots of people / has worked in a bar
• Friends "know the deal" and quickly leave you alone
• Verbalizes mild surprise without other forms of resistance as you escalate
• Compliments you in an unashamed away after sex

... these all are things you'll see with highly sexed women. They're very experienced with men, know what they want, and are accustomed to getting it at whatever pace they prefer most.

These girls can be a lot of fun, because you don't get the weirdness / awkwardness / discomfort you get with less experienced women if you push a little too hard before they're ready or you make a mistake here or there. If they like you, they'll gently correct you or take the reins and steer somewhere else.

Don't expect to lead them rather than having them lead you though until you've managed to top them experience-wise

Chase

 

[NarrowJ]

Thanks for the synopsis. She's definitely experienced.

The other day I had her over at my place for lunch and I tried to fuck her as soon as she got there pretty much. She was all like "no" lol. I didn't persist much.

After eating we sat down and watched some tv and she started taking off clothes like one garment every 5 minute or so, until she was down to her panties and bra. I knew it was a game, so I played along- I do this thing that she loves where I won't say a word to her for like an hour and just glare at her all straight faced. It drives her nuts and she laughs and giggles. So here we are on my couch and she's stripping down slowly as I just watch as if I'm bored with it all and she can't stop laughing Then the amazing sex after of course.

She definitely knows what, when and how she wants it. She's also definitely lots of fun, but now I am sort of wonderig what Ive learned here, being that she's so bold and likes to keep me guessing all the time, and basically takes charge.