Objection over text shit test or she actually unavailable ?

[Starboy]

I really didn’t want to make this post here i’ve been wanting to be more private about my life and not share personal info about myself. But this is a situation that I really can’t get the answer from anywhere else so here I am.

This gorgeous who I met from social circle who has a well paying job and is high interest by all accounts (very enthusiastic to see me, talk to me, auto invests, touches me, qualifies me tell me i’m funny,ask me if i’m working out, will engage with my social media etc)is kinda giving a little pushback towards a meetup and i’m not sure if it’s something I should take seriously. We was working together and she eventually left and became a full time nurse at this hospital.

Her last day we had discussed doing something together she asked me whether I like bowling/pool I had said we would figure something out later. Been pinging her every now to see how she was doing adjusting to her new job until recently when I soft closed her to gage her availability. Here’s some of the conversation beforehand she’s a latina girl so I used a mixed of spanish and english to reply. She’s the type to text late or wait till next day or even 2 ,but i’ve experienced it before and I understand it doesn’t mean disinterest

(Starting from a earlier thread)
J: I worked hard for this job

Me: Of course you did you earned it wasn’t given to you (spanish)

If I get sick and go to bla bla hospital I have someone to nurse me back to health

Another nurse comes in the room i’d say who are you? I want Jenny bring me Jenny! laughing emoji

2 days later

J:Oh my God you’re so funny

5 days later I continue the thread

Me: So they tell me (spanish)

Question do you have a fixed schedule as a nurse

Next day

J: No it varies a lot

Me:How weird I thought the schedule of a nurse is consistent (Spanish)

But I have an idea!( replied in Spanish my way of curiosity bait to get her to reply what?!)

Next Day

She sends me a screenshot of her entire monthly schedule for her nursing shifts for this month and Aug

Me: Ay coño 12 hr shifts esta trabajando mucho

You should take a break from all that work and stress

With a manito I know from bla bla bla

J:Oh my god you’re funny of course honey

Me: I was thinking bowling and arcade what do you think?

J:That sounds great to do but I won’t be able to go out until September


So this is the part where i’m lost. Do I take what she’s says at face value and wait until Sept to come back around? The last day we had worked she gave a date in early Aug and said we had to do something before then because she was going to be busy afterwards, but that date didnt arrive yet and she’s already saying she won’t be free. I can see what days she isn’t working, but she may have other plans so i’m not sure.

Part of me is thinking it’s a shit test and she wants to see if I persist and push for it. I was going to suggest a couple days later in the week Feel like if I just go along with what she’s saying and be understanding and suggest we can hold off until Sept to come up I fail her shit test and she can lose interest. It’s hard for me to know what she really wants from me because it’s a text exchange and not an in person interaction. It’s so maddening to decipher what a woman’s expectations are it’s like they want you to read their minds and react to their ambiguous signals.


If I was to persist and try to push past this objection I was thinking I could show some understanding and reframe it and push past it in some kind of smooth manner . I understand you have a busy schedule. But i’m sure you can find just one day out of your busy schedule to spend with a charming guy. Something along that nature. On the converse there’s a chance that I look too pushy and needy if I try to push for a meetup sooner and kill any attraction and that’s my concern.

There is a chance she’s legitamely busy she had told me the last time I saw her she would have a lot of plans and nursing is a strenous job so that could be legit i’m really not sure. I hope i’m just overthinking it and she’s serious and I could just circle back to it in Sept.

So really wondering what guys who are experienced with texting thinks.
If they want some further information or clarification to understand I could provide it. I would’ve responded to her text today, but I can wait till tommorow to respond since we will wait a day in between texts sometimes. Thanks for any advice.

 

[Skills]

Nurses work 12 hour shifts is normal and they can't be texting a lot during work hours so the texting was meh... I will link you later, so you can see what I am referring... You should have agreed and found out the reason to wait a whole month, could be legit, they do have crazy schedules and new nurses get shit shifts...

 

[Starboy]

Nurses work 12 hour shifts is normal and they can't be texting a lot during work hours so the texting was meh... I will link you later, so you can see what I am referring... You should have agreed and found out the reason to wait a whole month, could be legit, they do have crazy schedules and new nurses get shit shifts...

Yeah well I can still reply to her text agree and postpone it for now if that’s what you think I should do. I just seen her post a story on her ig about her father who passed away last year aug will be the one year anniversay. So i’m thinking maybe that has something to do with it. That’s why she wants to wait till Sept.

 

[Skills]

Yeah well I can still reply to her text agree and postpone it for now if that’s what you think I should do. I just seen her post a story on her ig about her father who passed away last year aug will be the one year anniversay. So i’m thinking maybe that has something to do with it. That’s why she wants to wait till Sept.

starboy i talk to my main (head nurse, head literally and figuratively), she is a nurse, told her about this, she said nurses work 3 to 5 days:

so it goes like this 5 day nurses: typically work 8 hours does not sound like her...

3-4 day nurses: they work 12 hours shifts, by the way, you saw her schedule...

ping, and find out if she is going on a trip to indirectly find out what is going, if she says is not a trip, then bring up, oh i thought you were going on a trip cause you were not going to be free till sept... i still don't get why you did not find out right then and there why wait a month... could be low interest, or legit, but you did not press to find out....

Also, i know people think i nitpick but i seen low odds when opening with hard close (it kind of never works):

Calls & Texts - Don't follow up opening with a hard close....

So guys i see a trend from many text reviews pm and in the forum.... First what is a hard close: a hard close is when you set up a meet and arrange logistics without a soft close, a soft close is when you are gauging the buying temperature for a meet, if positive you proceed to hard close, if...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Will_V]

I really didn’t want to make this post here i’ve been wanting to be more private about my life and not share personal info about myself. But this is a situation that I really can’t get the answer from anywhere else so here I am.

This gorgeous who I met from social circle who has a well paying job and is high interest by all accounts (very enthusiastic to see me, talk to me, auto invests, touches me, qualifies me tell me i’m funny,ask me if i’m working out, will engage with my social media etc)is kinda giving a little pushback towards a meetup and i’m not sure if it’s something I should take seriously. We was working together and she eventually left and became a full time nurse at this hospital.

Her last day we had discussed doing something together she asked me whether I like bowling/pool I had said we would figure something out later. Been pinging her every now to see how she was doing adjusting to her new job until recently when I soft closed her to gage her availability. Here’s some of the conversation beforehand she’s a latina girl so I used a mixed of spanish and english to reply. She’s the type to text late or wait till next day or even 2 ,but i’ve experienced it before and I understand it doesn’t mean disinterest

(Starting from a earlier thread)
J: I worked hard for this job

Me: Of course you did you earned it wasn’t given to you (spanish)

If I get sick and go to bla bla hospital I have someone to nurse me back to health

Another nurse comes in the room i’d say who are you? I want Jenny bring me Jenny! laughing emoji

2 days later

J:Oh my God you’re so funny

5 days later I continue the thread

Me: So they tell me (spanish)

Question do you have a fixed schedule as a nurse

Next day

J: No it varies a lot

Me:How weird I thought the schedule of a nurse is consistent (Spanish)

But I have an idea!( replied in Spanish my way of curiosity bait to get her to reply what?!)

Next Day

She sends me a screenshot of her entire monthly schedule for her nursing shifts for this month and Aug

Me: Ay coño 12 hr shifts esta trabajando mucho

You should take a break from all that work and stress

With a manito I know from bla bla bla

J:Oh my god you’re funny of course honey

Me: I was thinking bowling and arcade what do you think?

J:That sounds great to do but I won’t be able to go out until September


So this is the part where i’m lost. Do I take what she’s says at face value and wait until Sept to come back around? The last day we had worked she gave a date in early Aug and said we had to do something before then because she was going to be busy afterwards, but that date didnt arrive yet and she’s already saying she won’t be free. I can see what days she isn’t working, but she may have other plans so i’m not sure.

Part of me is thinking it’s a shit test and she wants to see if I persist and push for it. I was going to suggest a couple days later in the week Feel like if I just go along with what she’s saying and be understanding and suggest we can hold off until Sept to come up I fail her shit test and she can lose interest. It’s hard for me to know what she really wants from me because it’s a text exchange and not an in person interaction. It’s so maddening to decipher what a woman’s expectations are it’s like they want you to read their minds and react to their ambiguous signals.


If I was to persist and try to push past this objection I was thinking I could show some understanding and reframe it and push past it in some kind of smooth manner . I understand you have a busy schedule. But i’m sure you can find just one day out of your busy schedule to spend with a charming guy. Something along that nature. On the converse there’s a chance that I look too pushy and needy if I try to push for a meetup sooner and kill any attraction and that’s my concern.

There is a chance she’s legitamely busy she had told me the last time I saw her she would have a lot of plans and nursing is a strenous job so that could be legit i’m really not sure. I hope i’m just overthinking it and she’s serious and I could just circle back to it in Sept.

So really wondering what guys who are experienced with texting thinks.
If they want some further information or clarification to understand I could provide it. I would’ve responded to her text today, but I can wait till tommorow to respond since we will wait a day in between texts sometimes. Thanks for any advice.

Hate to say it but sounds like you're way more invested than she is and very close to (if not in) the friendzone.
Your replies sound hopeful/suggestive while hers sound friendly but non-compliant with no real vibe that she's trying to figure something out or make it up to you.
She's giving you way too many compliments - attracted girls typically give few if any compliments ime, in fact they are usually poking and prodding - which suggests she's trying to equalise the 'niceness debt' for all the attention you've been giving her. And 'can't go out until september' is womanspeak for 'I like your attention/messages but im not too keen to meet'. Is she really working 12 hours a day 7 days a week for more than a month, without ever having half an hour for a quick coffee?
Overall sounds like attraction and tension is low, your attainability is sky high and she's not feeling any reason to chase or invest. Over text this is going to be very difficult to put right. Personally I'd send her a ball in her court message or voice message making it clear I'm not hanging around, and prepare to go and meet some more girls. But I am no texting houdini, and I rely heavily on the time I spend in person to set things on the right course, so ymmv.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

It's clichey and has been peddled around but still remains true

-If she likes you, she'll find time for you

A month is too long sitting around waiting.

Who knows once September comes up she'll keep being busy?

 

[Chad Tyrone]

"Working on a Girl": Does It ACTUALLY Get You Anywhere with Her?

Guys always talk about “working on a girl” and them “getting somewhere with her.” Does this strategy actually work or is it a lot of hot air? So long as I can remember, I have had guys tell me about girls they were “working on.” Seems like every other guy has some girl somewhere he is “getting...

www.girlschase.com

I Don’t Chase 'Em, I Replace 'Em

A couple of fellas have asked on here about cutting contact recently. Here's Matt's comment from the article entitled "Your Mental Model is Flawed": “Can you explain cut off marks (ie, cutting off contact with a girl... say if she doesn't sleep with you or is not responding well) in more detail...

www.girlschase.com

What best to operate from

 

[gameboy]

She's banging someone else

Yes they do have 12 hour shifts but then they also have like 3 days off or so.

 

[Starboy]

I know for sure she’s not going on a trip she just went to a trip a couple months ago so it’s definitely not that. Also since she’s just starting a new job she couldn’t go on won’t be going on a vacation right away. She did tell me she had some kind of plans with friends coming up this month.

I know her pretty well low interest is unlikely she’s not another daygame girl I spent 2 minutes talking to and then number grab/flake. In person I was very mindful of our vibe it wasn’t strictly platonic.
I don’t know how to persist or gather information over text without looking eager or needy so that’s why I didn’t ask. Maybe you have some post somewhere on this.

Also I know what you mean by opening with a hard close which I don’t feel like I was doing nor my intention. When I asked if she had a fixed schedule that was more me being curious continuing the conversation and using that to transition into soft close. Not trying to then immediately set up a date.

I always soft close first before hard closing based on ur suggestion I think it works best, but I guess in that instance when I mention schedule to start it looks like I was hard closing.

As for all the other responses very possible I won’t rule anything out just because I don’t know for sure. It’s true if you like someone you’ll make time for them. They could have other priorities too . Luckily she’s not the only girl i’m talking to.

 

[Rakehell]

The date proposal was kind of a big activity, and she seems to like the idea, but pushing it off till September is obviously not ideal and has a low odds of eventually happening.

I don’t necessarily buy you being friendzoned or her ducking you and not creating time for you to see eachother.

-With great texting you can get her really excited at the idea of seeing you, but you need to try to angle it in a way where you are baiting her into closing you/giving you a window for a short meetup where you can smash without a date, think “hanging out”.

-You don’t want to overtly persist or chase her schedule, or toss the ball in her court necessarily because it will eventually lead to her ghosting you or agreeing and flaking.

The sequence should look something like:

-really good convo with future projections/flirting/showing interest- at some point tease her about her work (DONT frame it as if she has no time for you), she’ll either leave no opening or give some kind of window.

The window will look something like “yeah but im off tomorrow”, “yeah but I have an hour long break”, “yeah but I get off in an hour”, anything where she’s telling you about free time unsolicited.

When she gives you the window don’t jump right on it and soft close or close, talk on what she says in a regular way, probe her on how she plans on using that time.

Let her go into how she’s gonna use the time and you can transition into a soft close if it feels like she’s leaving it relatively open or suggesting she needs something to do.

When you close phrase it as hanging out or catching up a bit in person “if she’s down”. Really casually.

Handle logistics for her by telling her you will pull up to her, ideally with a car so you have a place to “hangout”.

 

[Rakehell]

Basically you want to get her to a point with your texting where she’s willing to see you regardless of how little time she has/willing to sacrifice her break, or whatever she does when she’s off of work.

And is actively pushing things toward what looks like an opportunity to close. Which is their version of “closing” you.

 

[Skills]

M

The date proposal was kind of a big activity, and she seems to like the idea, but pushing it off till September is obviously not ideal and has a low odds of eventually happening.

I don’t necessarily buy you being friendzoned or her ducking you and not creating time for you to see eachother.

-With great texting you can get her really excited at the idea of seeing you, but you need to try to angle it in a way where you are baiting her into closing you/giving you a window for a short meetup where you can smash without a date, think “hanging out”.

-You don’t want to overtly persist or chase her schedule, or toss the ball in her court necessarily because it will eventually lead to her ghosting you or agreeing and flaking.

The sequence should look something like:

-really good convo with future projections/flirting/showing interest- at some point tease her about her work (DONT frame it as if she has no time for you), she’ll either leave no opening or give some kind of window.

The window will look something like “yeah but im off tomorrow”, “yeah but I have an hour long break”, “yeah but I get off in an hour”, anything where she’s telling you about free time unsolicited.

When she gives you the window don’t jump right on it and soft close or close, talk on what she says in a regular way, probe her on how she plans on using that time.

Let her go into how she’s gonna use the time and you can transition into a soft close if it feels like she’s leaving it relatively open or suggesting she needs something to do.

When you close phrase it as hanging out or catching up a bit in person “if she’s down”. Really casually.

Handle logistics for her by telling her you will pull up to her, ideally with a car so you have a place to “hangout”.

Good, but Windows are not really necessary that is why soft close exist...soft close answers determine windows...

 

[Starboy]

Update:
Yesterday I responded If August isn’t a good month for you I understand

We could always circle back to it later

Today she responds
Yeah honey i’m currently taking clases and working so is a lot

She gave a reasoning right there for why she’s busy without me having to really ask why so what do the puas think?

 

[Rakehell]

M

Good, but Windows are not really necessary that is why soft close exist...soft close answers determine windows...

I agree. In stars context he’s already attempted a hard close, and she evaded even tho she was compliant with his soft close.

If he sets his texts up from this point in a way where she’s increasingly excited about him, without him pressing for her schedule, she will soft close him, present windows, and find time, without him having to guess.

This way he doesn’t have to rinse and repeat banter > soft close > hard close, without an idea of her compliance level/taking on negative compliance because of her schedule, even though she acts receptive.

And this time he can close without some elaborate date in mind, which made it harder for her to go along with it.

 

[Skills]

Update:
Yesterday I responded If August isn’t a good month for you I understand,

We could always circle back to it later

Today she responds
Yeah honey i’m currently taking clases and working so is a lot

She gave a reasoning right there for why she’s busy without me having to really ask why so what do the puas think?

Starboy, before this answer mrs. skills told me (again before reading your answer keep this in mind)..... "sounds like she is in school, so she is probably in school 4 days a week and working 3 days a week)...

I show her this update she said "i told you"

I met mrs. skills met her a month later (first encounter post meet)..... I also found out 3 years later, that she was not allow to carry cell on hospital, that is why she took long to text back... Facepalm! found out tonight after 3 years...

Stop chasing schedule... (for context read post).... also her state of mind is her goals and career, just back of, and don't be lets meet, lets meet, lets meet...

- if you want to get this girl give her more space, keep bantering and like rakehel explained let her be so invested that she is the one hinting meet... Meanwhile work other women, she aint going to meet any time soon..

Calls & Texts - How to properly hard close (set up logistics for meet up)

A hard close is defined as finding out when the girl is available for you 2 to meet and arranging the meeting (logistics).... I specifically advice this after you get high investment and properly soft closing a girl. A basic structure is to ask "how does your schedule looks like?" or "how...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Starboy]

Starboy, before this answer mrs. skills told me (again before reading your answer keep this in mind)..... "sounds like she is in school, so she is probably in school 4 days a week and working 3 days a week)...

I show her this update she said "i told you"

I met mrs. skills met her a month later (first encounter post meet)..... I also found out 3 years later, that she was not allow to carry cell on hospital, that is why she took long to text back... Facepalm! found out tonight after 3 years...

Stop chasing schedule... (for context read post).... also her state of mind is her goals and career, just back of, and don't be lets meet, lets meet, lets meet...

- if you want to get this girl give her more space, keep bantering and like rakehel explained let her be so invested that she is the one hinting meet... Meanwhile work other women, she aint going to meet any time soon..

Calls & Texts - How to properly hard close (set up logistics for meet up)

A hard close is defined as finding out when the girl is available for you 2 to meet and arranging the meeting (logistics).... I specifically advice this after you get high investment and properly soft closing a girl. A basic structure is to ask "how does your schedule looks like?" or "how...

www.skilledseducer.com

analysis on point like usual
I wasn’t sure if she’s legitimately unavailable or actually wants me to persist that was the purpose of me posting. Some of the other responses are misleading or off the mark(curiously one is deleted I can’t even edit my own responses anymore with this update) implying i’m chasing her, giving her too much attention, if she really was interested she’d make time for a high value guy. Meanwhile this is the first and only time I actually made the intitiative to set something up (which as the man you’re supposed to do anyways it’s not chasing unless it’s excessive and obvious she’s not interested). Also i’m reciprocating whatever attention/interest she showed me in person and in earlier texts I didn’t post.

The whole too cool for school shit is not necessary for a girl who’s sold on you and just backfires. I didn’t try to do something with her sooner because I knew she was going to leave and be a nurse within a matter of months wasn’t necessary for me to.

I’ll lay low and do what you and @Rakehell suggested if she decides she wants to push to meetup sooner i’ll let her make that decision.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

@Starboy the article never meant to imply that you're chasing her ...it was meant as a guide.

Going through it one would ask himself what's my patience threshold.And that's what it's all about

If she sent you her schedule and you saw that she was really booked ,then chances are high she's genuine and it's ok to take that at face value

Good thing, she's not the only girl you're texting (as you say).

It's just that some guys game one chick and live in scarcity ,that they end up chasing and pushing for a meet when the girl may not have some free time...these guys usually don't even take their time to realize that girls are human beings with other things on their plate

Or guys that'd keep gaming,gaming and gaming a chick but are having a hard time deciphering that she's clearly not interested,or that she's just leading them on.
The article is meant for such kind of guys... showing them when to cut the chord.

Nonetheless,even at the highest echelons of game guys may err from these principles and find themselves throwing their time to go-nowhere interactions.

As much as it's fun to game challenging girls , it's of high importance to have one's limits.Your time is limited and shouldn't be wasted in girls that are just going to waste your time.

This is where the patience thing comes in.What are you willing to stand?

There are exceptions of course: girls that you find worth your time, girls that are interested but may have had other commitments before you meeting them etc

Not to mean just because you find her worthwhile,you abandon the principles and let her walk over you as you patiently wait.

Of note:there are girls that will be highly, highly interested in you that they'd put aside their commitments just to meet you(mostly if they find you scarce)May sound rare but they're out there.

I'd say that these are the kind of girls that fit,almost perfectly, to the clichey statement.

Too cool for school are just wannabe guys going at playing -hard -to -get all wrong lol.Wouldn't say a guy that's high in demand and girls keep chasing him is too cool for school .

Years of experience with different girls ,has coded the principles into his mind that he can get girls fast.And him "replacing" a chick doesn't necessarily mean he's butthurt...he can put her on hold and circle back to her( if he chooses to)while still remaining in good terms with her


And getting girls fast doesn't have to mean that he'll force girls to meet him when they're busy.He'll check their schedules, find a suitable time and date ,then set up a meet date.Only by doing this,can he keep at moving things fast , towards the bedroom


Now of course,with a silver tongue,guys can get a chick to meet them regardless even if she preferred a later date.If you can keep your cool and remain casual even if she declines,then you still have it in you to get her out.

It's always fun to get them to abandon what they're doing and go for an adventure with you.

Anyways,was typing and these just came out off me(didn't mean to attack you)...hope it helps anyone that may've not be in the know about this.

Skills and Rakehell gave you good advice .If she's interested and is genuine she may show up September,then you may check in on her / schedule if you decide to drop off.

Meanwhile, try to get the other girls out too

Best wishes,
Chad Tyrone

 

[gameboy]

Okay let's say I meet a girl I think is awesome. Would I wait a whole month to make myself available to meet, risking someone else will snatch her away from me?

This girl isn't interested If she thought you were hot, she'd be afraid you'll find another girl meanwhile. Making you wait till September means she either doesn't care, or she is sure you have no other options. Both are bad.

 

[Rakehell]

Okay let's say I meet a girl I think is awesome. Would I wait a whole month to make myself available to meet, risking someone else will snatch her away from me?

This girl isn't interested If she thought you were hot, she'd be afraid you'll find another girl meanwhile. Making you wait till September means she either doesn't care, or she is sure you have no other options. Both are bad.

Simply not true, if I were to guess this girl is fairly young and probably doesn’t date much.

On top of that her schedule is pretty hectic and our Starboy has lead things in a direction where it’s easier for her to say no than it is for her to say yes.

But other than that she has been fairly compliant so there’s nothing to go on to say that she’s not interested.

She can only agree to what he offers, arcade and bowling is way different than offering a hangout.

 

[Rakehell]

Assuming perceived lower value due to problems with logistics is a overblown male insecurity.

Especially when it’s a one time thing and you aren’t making it the smoothest transition.