- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 473
Rage Journal 1
About this Journal
Hello there; I’m rage (formerly gem).
I’m writing this journal to reveal more personal things about myself and my journey.
My goal with pickup (primarily, after a lot of reflection) is who I become with it all.
Who I become/the person I become/the character I develop within and the virtues that are instilled within me.
That is my purpose in going on this journey and going further with pickup, as it is with any endeavor (to see who I have to become to progress and grow, and who I am at later points of it all).
My Background With Lifting
I have a lot of neat reference points from getting to a fair level with my powerlifting career, and relate things I learn with seduction back to what I've learned from lifting (because a lot of neat analogies and parallels do come up I find between lifting and the other skills I partake it).
With lifting I had gotten into it all at first because I wanted to get good with girls; there were other reasons, but I think that reason was primary. I wanted girls to be attracted to me and I had been skinnier than most of the girls in my school growing up (even the skinnier ones; not to mention all the guys).
But in several years with lifting, girls probably the last reason I lift (if they are even a reason at all). I see the weights and any past passion I have had as a relationship: they are my love, my sweetheart, and I could dote on them, think about them fondly and the feelings I get when with them just as I would with a girl I was seeing (probably more so).
Lifting in later years as I grew a tiny bit wiser, I realized becomes about who you become. That’s what matters.
Every workout I have now can be so incredibly difficult but whatever it is I just have to survive it and heal well and I continue on. The virtues I’ve gained from the sport of powerlifting have been invaluable, the best I could have ever prayed for and dreamed for.
They made me more courageous, more aggressive, more disciplined, more determined, more hungry to progress and to better myself, more confident, and more strong in mind as I was in body. A whole host of other virtues came along with those that I listed.
Who I Have To Become With Seduction
With pickup I realize that who I have to become to get good is someone very disparate, almost completely disparate from who I had to become to progress at powerlifting.
I have to become someone more empathetic: be more patient, be more sensitive, and vulnerable. Find the little boy in me and have that come out more to balance the raging man that lifting got me to becoming.
Seduction and my relationships with women will help balance that other feminine side
Amongst my other goals are to build enough a skill level that I can attract very feminine women of high value and quality into my life. Who I have to be to get and keep those women, is technically well with women, but also a man of character with purpose and passions he is building towards.
If I am not actively working to be the best version of myself, and am falling behind a lot, am not in the pursuit of it… then at best with all this I can have cheap lay after cheap lay. But that’s not what im in it for I realize.
I’m in it for the randoms to the extent that I can better a skillset and go further with that (though some part of me does want to sleep with a lot of women; don’t know if that changes is changing or instead the desire remains in the furutre); but past that I do want connections with women that I am naturally drawn to, want feminine women in my life.
I have a long laundry list of qualities an ideal woman must have and wouldn’t settle for anything less than that in my relationships with women. My other pursuits with writing and lifting and learning business and other fields of study, give me an abundance that I don’t get just by sleeping with a lot of women I think. Perhaps both give their own type of abundance and both are necessary?
Currently where I am at
I am rather secretive (?) with writing about myself and sharing more reports and stuff on here; but I don’t see the purpose behind that and don’t think I need to be. Guys share some pretty damn fucking personal things in their journals lol.
We’re all guys on similar journies; a life not shared is a life wasted, and there are good things that I could share and contribute and the few people that even read this might get something out of it.
I had my last lay in early june (may have been late may) with an attractive and pretty cool girl, who I connected well with and who was top 3 girls quality wise I have ever slept with.
I saw her a few times since then (well more than a few times, because we did live nearby and did have good chemistry), and that was nice.
Then over the summer I had 3 months of sort of forced abstinence which sucked in ways; I was back at parents’ home and in a sorta vampiric environment… time with family is nice but too much is a drain on productivity on my own mind and on my work towards my endeavors.
I devolved quite a bit with my skill with women, which I had built up to the past 6 months leading up to summer and out of a relationship in past year.
I started September, sucking hard with women and forgetting how to even hold great conversation with girls. I just had some baseline fundamentals and really nothing else.
I’ve gone on a number of dates, and have had some 20 or so numbers (give or take a few); and that’s been kind of passively working on it for the first month and a half or so.
Part of my fuel for doing pickup has kind of been gone because of so much fervor and energy into my work/projects… but part of me really wants the skill, and wants the unicorn girls whowill better me that will come in time.
So I wanna work to get better at it cause of that.
Journal 1 done.
Will keep at this; was fun posting.
-Rage
About this Journal
Hello there; I’m rage (formerly gem).
I’m writing this journal to reveal more personal things about myself and my journey.
My goal with pickup (primarily, after a lot of reflection) is who I become with it all.
Who I become/the person I become/the character I develop within and the virtues that are instilled within me.
That is my purpose in going on this journey and going further with pickup, as it is with any endeavor (to see who I have to become to progress and grow, and who I am at later points of it all).
My Background With Lifting
I have a lot of neat reference points from getting to a fair level with my powerlifting career, and relate things I learn with seduction back to what I've learned from lifting (because a lot of neat analogies and parallels do come up I find between lifting and the other skills I partake it).
With lifting I had gotten into it all at first because I wanted to get good with girls; there were other reasons, but I think that reason was primary. I wanted girls to be attracted to me and I had been skinnier than most of the girls in my school growing up (even the skinnier ones; not to mention all the guys).
But in several years with lifting, girls probably the last reason I lift (if they are even a reason at all). I see the weights and any past passion I have had as a relationship: they are my love, my sweetheart, and I could dote on them, think about them fondly and the feelings I get when with them just as I would with a girl I was seeing (probably more so).
Lifting in later years as I grew a tiny bit wiser, I realized becomes about who you become. That’s what matters.
Every workout I have now can be so incredibly difficult but whatever it is I just have to survive it and heal well and I continue on. The virtues I’ve gained from the sport of powerlifting have been invaluable, the best I could have ever prayed for and dreamed for.
They made me more courageous, more aggressive, more disciplined, more determined, more hungry to progress and to better myself, more confident, and more strong in mind as I was in body. A whole host of other virtues came along with those that I listed.
Who I Have To Become With Seduction
With pickup I realize that who I have to become to get good is someone very disparate, almost completely disparate from who I had to become to progress at powerlifting.
I have to become someone more empathetic: be more patient, be more sensitive, and vulnerable. Find the little boy in me and have that come out more to balance the raging man that lifting got me to becoming.
Seduction and my relationships with women will help balance that other feminine side
Amongst my other goals are to build enough a skill level that I can attract very feminine women of high value and quality into my life. Who I have to be to get and keep those women, is technically well with women, but also a man of character with purpose and passions he is building towards.
If I am not actively working to be the best version of myself, and am falling behind a lot, am not in the pursuit of it… then at best with all this I can have cheap lay after cheap lay. But that’s not what im in it for I realize.
I’m in it for the randoms to the extent that I can better a skillset and go further with that (though some part of me does want to sleep with a lot of women; don’t know if that changes is changing or instead the desire remains in the furutre); but past that I do want connections with women that I am naturally drawn to, want feminine women in my life.
I have a long laundry list of qualities an ideal woman must have and wouldn’t settle for anything less than that in my relationships with women. My other pursuits with writing and lifting and learning business and other fields of study, give me an abundance that I don’t get just by sleeping with a lot of women I think. Perhaps both give their own type of abundance and both are necessary?
Currently where I am at
I am rather secretive (?) with writing about myself and sharing more reports and stuff on here; but I don’t see the purpose behind that and don’t think I need to be. Guys share some pretty damn fucking personal things in their journals lol.
We’re all guys on similar journies; a life not shared is a life wasted, and there are good things that I could share and contribute and the few people that even read this might get something out of it.
I had my last lay in early june (may have been late may) with an attractive and pretty cool girl, who I connected well with and who was top 3 girls quality wise I have ever slept with.
I saw her a few times since then (well more than a few times, because we did live nearby and did have good chemistry), and that was nice.
Then over the summer I had 3 months of sort of forced abstinence which sucked in ways; I was back at parents’ home and in a sorta vampiric environment… time with family is nice but too much is a drain on productivity on my own mind and on my work towards my endeavors.
I devolved quite a bit with my skill with women, which I had built up to the past 6 months leading up to summer and out of a relationship in past year.
I started September, sucking hard with women and forgetting how to even hold great conversation with girls. I just had some baseline fundamentals and really nothing else.
I’ve gone on a number of dates, and have had some 20 or so numbers (give or take a few); and that’s been kind of passively working on it for the first month and a half or so.
Part of my fuel for doing pickup has kind of been gone because of so much fervor and energy into my work/projects… but part of me really wants the skill, and wants the unicorn girls whowill better me that will come in time.
So I wanna work to get better at it cause of that.
Journal 1 done.
Will keep at this; was fun posting.
-Rage