Paranoia about dating ! >_<

[DakenMarquis]

Alright guys, been working on self-improvement & gaming girls for the last year since my breakup. I cheated, I take accountability. She suspected it, but I never admitted since it was easy to blame the miscommunication on the long-distance. Pretty mach & slimy on my part. I have to admit I cheated because I didnt have high-self esteem, good initial game & wasn't sure I could get a girl like her without a social circle. My strive for success in the game has always to be completely independent socially.

Since it's been almost 5 months since the breakup, I'm happy to say I have a soft-harem of chill girls that I'd like to replace some with those with more compatibility & attraction. I'm active online dating & have garnered a bit of a reputation of being a player. It's something I've learned to keep mum about since it may be hard to deal with fallout since I'm paranoid about the state of affairs within the dating world.

My question for the members here (the more experienced the commenter the better) is: is this rational? Should I be worried? The town isn't that small, its a mid-sized city. The biggest issue I feel is I'm of Punjabi descent, I'm good looking, fit, stylish(tatted) & pretty laid back but I know the Indian sterotype can work against me & I don't want to be accused falsely of anything. This paranoia is so bad I feel bad about asking girls out that are giving me clear signals( to their increasing frustrations!) It feels like I'm also being sized up by other guys which isnt a good feeling(I'm shorter, ugh stereotype breaking is a pain, but Im hella American so not too worried)

I dont want to hurt any women, but I do want to develop my game & seduce the ones I like & are into me. What should I do? Lol

 

[BigPapa]

Mate if you feel like talking with a girl , talk with her . If you like her vibe or how she looks push for things to go further

as long as you stay away from crazy girls , which will give you a lot of red flags before , you should be fine , as long as you are not a dick for no reason . Always treat the girls with respect

 

[ulrich]

No fear is rational to begin with.

I really can't tell with certainty if you are in any real danger of being falsely accused of rape because it depends a lot of your surroundings.

Chase did an article on that (or was it the newsletter?)... anyway, if I remember correctly it mentioned that rape accusations are not that common and there are two main factors that determine your probability to get one:
1) Dating in college campuses (pressure from her liberarl psycho-friends)
2) Fucking obviusly drunk women

As long as you stay away from those and use common sense, you shouldn't be worried about false accusations.

 

[Yaxir]

No fear is rational to begin with.

I really can't tell with certainty if you are in any real danger of being falsely accused of rape because it depends a lot of your surroundings.

Chase did an article on that (or was it the newsletter?)... anyway, if I remember correctly it mentioned that rape accusations are not that common and there are two main factors that determine your probability to get one:
1) Dating in college campuses (pressure from her liberarl psycho-friends)
2) Fucking obviusly drunk women

As long as you stay away from those and use common sense, you shouldn't be worried about false accusations.

this is very scary .. i am almost tempted not to learn game ( i am an absolute beginner, from a similar region as the OP but not the same country and slightly wheatish in skin color ) because i don't want to ruin my life because of a stupid accusation from some girl

are there any more tips on how to avoid such dangerous situations ?

 

[ulrich]

are there any more tips on how to avoid such dangerous situations ?

Use common sense.
Don’t date crazy girls.
Stay away from liberal universities.
Don’t have sex with drunk women.

I don’t think there’s really much more to discuss about this issue.

If you’re really afraid, realize you’re being irrational about it. Tons of people sleep around and nothing bad happens.
Youre fixated on the worst case scenario.

 

[Yaxir]

Use common sense.
Don’t date crazy girls.
Stay away from liberal universities.
Don’t have sex with drunk women.

I don’t think there’s really much more to discuss about this issue.

If you’re really afraid, realize you’re being irrational about it. Tons of people sleep around and nothing bad happens.
Youre fixated on the worst case scenario.

good points, Uriel ( however, shouldn't liberal colleges be more open minded regarding sex ? why are they so dangerous ? )

btw, nice to meet you i am new here

you're right, i have a bad habit of being fixated to the worst case scenario

but there's a good reason behind that. I am from Pakistan and i don't think like the majority there ( i am broad minded, secular and believe in live and let live regardless of your religion or sexual orientation )

i tried to be friendly to women but they're way too conservative and there's always the danger of the girl alerting her male relatives to go after you (crazy but it happens in rare case and is really shitty )

hookups are almost non-existent in the society, so sleeping around rarely happens in Pakistan ( the elites do it more easily but it's rare or very well hidden among the general public , since there is a great chance of being ostracized by the society if you're caught )

from childhood we have been taught that sexual topics are taboo and whatnot .. but after growing up i realize i don't have to be like this. i can change and i am willing to change

i hope to learn from this community and actually apply it in real life without the fear of being beaten up or accused of being a pervert

hope i was able to communicate clearly

 

[ulrich]

@Yaxir, nice to meet you, man. And welcome to the forums.

Alright, so you are a Pakistani living in Pakistan, right?
Well, that changes things.
The false rape accusations is a big deal on America and sometimes Europe, so I assumed you were an American. Sorry for my mistake.

If you live in a very conservative area, relocating to somewhere more open minded could be a good idea.
But first, I’d like to ask... what are your specific goals?
Do you want to have a girlfriend? Find someone special and marry? Sleep around?
What kind of girls would you like?


Regarding universities... universities in America have gone too way to the left side of the spectrum and bent over to feminism and other victimist philosophies...
Good for having sex yes... but terrible if something goes wrong.

 

[Yaxir]

@Yaxir, nice to meet you, man. And welcome to the forums.

Alright, so you are a Pakistani living in Pakistan, right?
Well, that changes things.
The false rape accusations is a big deal on America and sometimes Europe, so I assumed you were an American. Sorry for my mistake.

If you live in a very conservative area, relocating to somewhere more open minded could be a good idea.
But first, I’d like to ask... what are your specific goals?
Do you want to have a girlfriend? Find someone special and marry? Sleep around?
What kind of girls would you like?


Regarding universities... universities in America have gone too way to the left side of the spectrum and bent over to feminism and other victimist philosophies...
Good for having sex yes... but terrible if something goes wrong.

Thanks for the welcome ^^

Yes, i am currently in Karachi, Pakistan

I will eventually move to Istanbul soon, probably for about an year or so

I ahve actually made a post and would appreciate if you check it out here. ( would appreciate if you get other senior members to look at it as well, my case might be a bit unique and could offer new insights about developing game ).

As for my specific goals, well i am not looking to get in to a relationship right now. marriage is something i don't even want to think of until i feel i am financially and psychologically ready for.

Thing is, after reading some stuff on girlschase and some stuff on this forum, i realized that i know very little to almost nothing about women

This is going to sound like a typical horny guy reply, but i think it would be better for me personally, if i started with dating girls and eventually hooking up with them. You can say i am looking to sleep around

As for the kind of girls that i would like .. well, ladies with a generally open mind would be appreciated because i am tired of having to deal with stuck up, semi-conservative, passive aggressive women who were mostly interested in using me and usually behaved terribly with me ( just to give you a brief history of my experience with women in Pakistan )

I would rather be with an average looking or even a below average looking girl who at least has clear intentions and is open to talking about things that are otherwise considered taboo and sensitive topics in Pakistan.

I mean what's the point if you can't be comfortable with her and she with you ? that's never going to go anywhere, whether it's a LTR or even casual sex.

to be honest, i'd like a change from what i have experienced so far. that's a big reason that a guy like me, who has always been shy, withdrawn, quiet and sexually inexperienced with women is on this forum and trying to learn something about game by reading articles on girlschase

of course, any help i can get from respectable forum members like you would be priceless

i look forward to learning from you and the others

hopefully one day, i will be writing my own Lay Reports here !