- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
- Messages
- 1,532
FU: SOLO HB8.5 ON THE BOARDWALK
This major fuckup was a devil and an angel. It exposed many flaws in my current game (see the annotations at the bottom)..but skyrocketed my confidence levels and motivation.
It comes wrapped up in a bundle of awkward in-betweenness: I’ve got enough reference points from the last few weeks that I’m in the middle of levelling up every aspect of my early game - really digging down on perfecting techniques and strategies of approach-to-hook in daygame (at the beach and bus terminal) and at the bar. I know the old way of doing things is not quite perfect, but haven’t quite developed fully and executed the new way of doing things yet. So, last couple of sessions I find myself falling back into the old style in uncertain situations, or using a mix of the old and new.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I went out both nights this weekend and am dead tired. Despite going out for 1 daygame session earlier today, I’m desperate to go for another - even though I’m not in the best state.
Normally I review my material before each session….but today I choose to NOT to review it due to my low energy. I manage to get out of the house and push myself to the beach, but as I head there, I choose NOT to practice my material on the way.
And as I approach the beach, I notice I am bothered by approach anxiety. What’s going on, I think, normally I’m confident in this environment? Not good. I quickly turn these thoughts off, and continue to pump my state while maintaining my posture and facial expression.
I walk down the boardwalk, approach a couple of group sets. Notice my verbal fluency is not on par with where I’d like it to be. Having a hard time connecting ideas.
After I reach the end of the boardwalk, I go the opposite way back. Close to the boardwalk entrance, I spot a solo girl walking towards me - taking pictures of the sunset. Don’t get a good look at her as I’m not planning to approach a walking set. If I end up near her again and she’s stationary, I’ll talk to her then.
The entrance of the boardwalk leads onto a parking lot, and I go stand on the edge of the parking lot and boardwalk, and pretend to be busy looking at the sunset as I plan my next move. I take a peak down the boardwalk. I see this solo girl has momentarily stopped on the boardwalk 50 feet away, to take pictures.
Then I notice she’s coming back my way. I focus back in on the sun. I listen to the sound of her footsteps and keys rattling as she approaches behind me. Suddenly, the sounds stop. I sneak a quick peak through my periphs. She’s 15 feet behind me and snapping more pics of the sunset.
TIME TO MOVE
I turn around. Excuse me! I say, while walking towards her. [1] Do you know exactly who you look like? [2] [3]
As our eyes meet, I am astonished by her level of beauty. She is one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve seen in my life. Even hotter than the hottest girls in Colombia. Like, supermodel type looks. I rarely see girls of this quality, much less in my small hometown.
She’s receptive and we're holding strong eye contact. I pretend to have forgotten the full name of who she looks like, but I give her some hints. The name is Audrey, and she's from the olden times. Last name starts with an H. We figure out together that its Audrey Hepburn, and i clarify its the vibe - not the way she looks.
Then I break eye contact. [4] I look back and she's using the moment to snap a couple pics of the sunset.
“btw, im quite jealous of your choice for a picture spot.” I say. She says, “oh, you’re not from around here?” Im caught off guard. This is a rare answer to that line. I tell her straight up where I’m from, explaining how I’ve lived here most of my life but came from a smaller city. [5] Chat back and forth shortly about this and where she's from, but once again, the fluency is not there.
Another silence with extended broken eye contact. I’m about to run the herd gambit on her but I’m frozen in my head on how to start it. [6]
FOG…THE DETAILS MATTER HERE. HOW ARE YOU GONNA START IT? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY? WAIT A SEC, YOU’RE HESITATING. THE SILENCE IS GETTING TOO LONG! NO THE VIBE IS CRASHING, FUCKING LOOK AT HER, DO SOMETHING!
“Have a nice night! Nice chatting with you.” She says as she walks off.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I walk off to another area of the beach to debrief. I'm heartwrenched, but notice my confidence levels surging. If I can approach girls like that, and not get rejected, I can do anything! Still, I cannot let these mistakes happen again - even on bad days. While I'm writing down my notes, many girls pass by me. They are all intimidated by my presence, which has become considerably amped up in the short time since my departure with this beautiful woman. I smile devilishly to myself because it almost feels...easy with them.
MISTAKES
[1] Should have delivered the excuse me over my shoulder. I walked towards her too soon and I could see her eyes widen - a sign she was a little bit startled.
[2] Totally forgot to include "I've got something important to tell you" in between "excuse me" and "do you know exactly who you look like?"
[3] Lack of pauses caused a lack of impact.
[4] Breaking eye contact at the wrong times is a major sticking point for me right now, and instantly killing off the intensity in hotter sets. Troubleshooting it aggressively this week.
[5] Fell into her social frame grab. Ideally, I would have answered vaguely, then DHV'ed by discussing the best spots to take sunset pictures in town, then describing what makes this particular location so good for sunsets.
[6] I’ve been starting the herd gambit with “is it cool if I grab your opinion on something, its for a friend of mine who’s struggling right now” without giving them a chance to butt in. But, this weekend I was starting it with “is it cool if I grab your opinion on something” and noticed girls saying “maybe, depends on what it is.” The new way i want to go is "im gonna run something by you real quick, its about a friend of mine whos struggling right now" to manage value attainability and compliance effectively. I wanted to use the new way on her, but the old way was stuck in my head cuz of pressure, so I hesitated.
This major fuckup was a devil and an angel. It exposed many flaws in my current game (see the annotations at the bottom)..but skyrocketed my confidence levels and motivation.
It comes wrapped up in a bundle of awkward in-betweenness: I’ve got enough reference points from the last few weeks that I’m in the middle of levelling up every aspect of my early game - really digging down on perfecting techniques and strategies of approach-to-hook in daygame (at the beach and bus terminal) and at the bar. I know the old way of doing things is not quite perfect, but haven’t quite developed fully and executed the new way of doing things yet. So, last couple of sessions I find myself falling back into the old style in uncertain situations, or using a mix of the old and new.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I went out both nights this weekend and am dead tired. Despite going out for 1 daygame session earlier today, I’m desperate to go for another - even though I’m not in the best state.
Normally I review my material before each session….but today I choose to NOT to review it due to my low energy. I manage to get out of the house and push myself to the beach, but as I head there, I choose NOT to practice my material on the way.
And as I approach the beach, I notice I am bothered by approach anxiety. What’s going on, I think, normally I’m confident in this environment? Not good. I quickly turn these thoughts off, and continue to pump my state while maintaining my posture and facial expression.
I walk down the boardwalk, approach a couple of group sets. Notice my verbal fluency is not on par with where I’d like it to be. Having a hard time connecting ideas.
After I reach the end of the boardwalk, I go the opposite way back. Close to the boardwalk entrance, I spot a solo girl walking towards me - taking pictures of the sunset. Don’t get a good look at her as I’m not planning to approach a walking set. If I end up near her again and she’s stationary, I’ll talk to her then.
The entrance of the boardwalk leads onto a parking lot, and I go stand on the edge of the parking lot and boardwalk, and pretend to be busy looking at the sunset as I plan my next move. I take a peak down the boardwalk. I see this solo girl has momentarily stopped on the boardwalk 50 feet away, to take pictures.
Then I notice she’s coming back my way. I focus back in on the sun. I listen to the sound of her footsteps and keys rattling as she approaches behind me. Suddenly, the sounds stop. I sneak a quick peak through my periphs. She’s 15 feet behind me and snapping more pics of the sunset.
TIME TO MOVE
I turn around. Excuse me! I say, while walking towards her. [1] Do you know exactly who you look like? [2] [3]
As our eyes meet, I am astonished by her level of beauty. She is one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve seen in my life. Even hotter than the hottest girls in Colombia. Like, supermodel type looks. I rarely see girls of this quality, much less in my small hometown.
She’s receptive and we're holding strong eye contact. I pretend to have forgotten the full name of who she looks like, but I give her some hints. The name is Audrey, and she's from the olden times. Last name starts with an H. We figure out together that its Audrey Hepburn, and i clarify its the vibe - not the way she looks.
Then I break eye contact. [4] I look back and she's using the moment to snap a couple pics of the sunset.
“btw, im quite jealous of your choice for a picture spot.” I say. She says, “oh, you’re not from around here?” Im caught off guard. This is a rare answer to that line. I tell her straight up where I’m from, explaining how I’ve lived here most of my life but came from a smaller city. [5] Chat back and forth shortly about this and where she's from, but once again, the fluency is not there.
Another silence with extended broken eye contact. I’m about to run the herd gambit on her but I’m frozen in my head on how to start it. [6]
FOG…THE DETAILS MATTER HERE. HOW ARE YOU GONNA START IT? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY? WAIT A SEC, YOU’RE HESITATING. THE SILENCE IS GETTING TOO LONG! NO THE VIBE IS CRASHING, FUCKING LOOK AT HER, DO SOMETHING!
“Have a nice night! Nice chatting with you.” She says as she walks off.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I walk off to another area of the beach to debrief. I'm heartwrenched, but notice my confidence levels surging. If I can approach girls like that, and not get rejected, I can do anything! Still, I cannot let these mistakes happen again - even on bad days. While I'm writing down my notes, many girls pass by me. They are all intimidated by my presence, which has become considerably amped up in the short time since my departure with this beautiful woman. I smile devilishly to myself because it almost feels...easy with them.
MISTAKES
[1] Should have delivered the excuse me over my shoulder. I walked towards her too soon and I could see her eyes widen - a sign she was a little bit startled.
[2] Totally forgot to include "I've got something important to tell you" in between "excuse me" and "do you know exactly who you look like?"
[3] Lack of pauses caused a lack of impact.
[4] Breaking eye contact at the wrong times is a major sticking point for me right now, and instantly killing off the intensity in hotter sets. Troubleshooting it aggressively this week.
[5] Fell into her social frame grab. Ideally, I would have answered vaguely, then DHV'ed by discussing the best spots to take sunset pictures in town, then describing what makes this particular location so good for sunsets.
[6] I’ve been starting the herd gambit with “is it cool if I grab your opinion on something, its for a friend of mine who’s struggling right now” without giving them a chance to butt in. But, this weekend I was starting it with “is it cool if I grab your opinion on something” and noticed girls saying “maybe, depends on what it is.” The new way i want to go is "im gonna run something by you real quick, its about a friend of mine whos struggling right now" to manage value attainability and compliance effectively. I wanted to use the new way on her, but the old way was stuck in my head cuz of pressure, so I hesitated.
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