I totally agree. I think that a large part of accepting abundance frames is recognizing that you're always going to be at least sort-of wrong, so you might as well be wrong in a way that causes you to take beneficial actions. Been thinking about this recently.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Yeah it's pretty cool. The book I am reading talks about how much statistically better your decision are when operating from abundance/mulitracking, which just means considering multiple alternatives. I always understood that it improves decisions, but not why. Really cool stuff.
Solid weekend. My emotions have definitely stabilized, but I can't get complacent.
Sex
I have improved enormously in the past couple months because of the regular sex I have been getting. Gone from headshot or miss ---> Hit or headshot. My consistency has turned on its head just from a lot of practice
. Not only can I last 30 minutes without much effort other then a slight change of pace. Started to mess around with my rhythm and pacing I can hear a difference in her breathing.... but I'm not able to turn it into consistently making her multiple orgasm. I can hit 1 pretty much every other time averaging about 4 per time we hangout.... I'm sure that's better then most, but if I can figure out multiple consistently it would make a huge difference. I have in the past but again not consistently. For a while I was having trouble getting rock hard for the 2nd/3rd/4th times, but I think I have figured it out. All this weekend I was getting rock hard everytime. It was partially mental and partially from trying to restart from naked. Something about my boxer briefs hugging my dick against my lower abdomen and stimulation of the bottom side of the shaft/balls gets me 10x harder 10x faster than when I am free and naked.....hahaha.
Going to reread some stuff on sex and see if I can pinpoint something I'm missing.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
No way, I have just been preparing for the move down south and haven't had the time.
Right now I'm in west palm checking out apartments trying to decide where to live. Living downtown itself would be amazing but I can't afford it. So I'm trying to balance locale and affordability and still live in a decent area.
Checked out city place today and it's going to be fantastic for meeting people.
1 week and counting down
Yeah yeah
Right now I'm in west palm checking out apartments trying to decide where to live. Living downtown itself would be amazing but I can't afford it. So I'm trying to balance locale and affordability and still live in a decent area.
Checked out city place today and it's going to be fantastic for meeting people.
1 week and counting down
Yeah yeah
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Next stop: West Palm Beach
Hey guys,
On the way down to west palm right now pretty pumped to finally make the move. It's been crazy but I'm glad to finally be moving.
Got a 1 BR apartment across the lake from downtown. It is the absolute closest I could get without a roomate or living in a not so nice area. Wanted walking distance but Ill have to make due. I have a waterfront view though so once I get girls home I should be golden.
My logistics aren't as perfect as before but I no longer have a roommate to worry about.
Hey guys,
On the way down to west palm right now pretty pumped to finally make the move. It's been crazy but I'm glad to finally be moving.
Got a 1 BR apartment across the lake from downtown. It is the absolute closest I could get without a roomate or living in a not so nice area. Wanted walking distance but Ill have to make due. I have a waterfront view though so once I get girls home I should be golden.
My logistics aren't as perfect as before but I no longer have a roommate to worry about.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Finally in my place. It's awesome, so glad I did this. 15 hour drive gave me a lot of time to think and have a lot to say but it will have to hold off until I get internet situated so I can get off this iPad for writing.
I'm going out this weekend by myself for the first time(not including vacations with family) so I'm excited but nervous. The past month or so I haven't been as chatty due to the stress so I'm using every interaction to lube myself up, so I can hit the ground running the weekend.
hoping to get updated by the end of the weekend.
Loving the weather!
And I'm so glad I wore pants all summer because dealing with the heat really hasn't been bad(at work). Thank god for GC preaching pants
I'm going out this weekend by myself for the first time(not including vacations with family) so I'm excited but nervous. The past month or so I haven't been as chatty due to the stress so I'm using every interaction to lube myself up, so I can hit the ground running the weekend.
hoping to get updated by the end of the weekend.
Loving the weather!
And I'm so glad I wore pants all summer because dealing with the heat really hasn't been bad(at work). Thank god for GC preaching pants
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Been meaning to get a really detailed report going for a bit. The last few months have literally been insane and if you have been following my reports you can see my mental state has been all over the place.
Since the move, my state has been extremely stable in comparison... really happy about it. The turmoil has spit me out stronger than ever. One thing moving by myself has really hammered home is that I'm in this world alone, and no one can help me but me , living so close to my family and friends for the longest time allowed me to use them as a crutch. Most of the decision I made were influenced by others whether I realized it or not.
Now I have me, myself and I.
Pre GC I would have never had the kahunas to do something like this.... some people thought I was crazy, fuck em.
Along the same train of thought.... I was taking stuff here as the word of god. For the past year doing anything that someone didn't directly advocate for was swimming upstream. Part of me felt I need to do A, while GC knowledge said B. I was pulling myself two different directions.
But what is the best way to learn??? making decisions for yourself and living with those consequences. Running with someone elses decisions won't allow me to grow as much as taking advice and then making my own decisions.
The most influential lessons in my life are from some of my worst decisions. They shaped me into who I am today.
In the next couple months I'm going to continue to look inward.
Lets see what I can find.
More to come.
Since the move, my state has been extremely stable in comparison... really happy about it. The turmoil has spit me out stronger than ever. One thing moving by myself has really hammered home is that I'm in this world alone, and no one can help me but me , living so close to my family and friends for the longest time allowed me to use them as a crutch. Most of the decision I made were influenced by others whether I realized it or not.
Now I have me, myself and I.
Pre GC I would have never had the kahunas to do something like this.... some people thought I was crazy, fuck em.
Along the same train of thought.... I was taking stuff here as the word of god. For the past year doing anything that someone didn't directly advocate for was swimming upstream. Part of me felt I need to do A, while GC knowledge said B. I was pulling myself two different directions.
But what is the best way to learn??? making decisions for yourself and living with those consequences. Running with someone elses decisions won't allow me to grow as much as taking advice and then making my own decisions.
The most influential lessons in my life are from some of my worst decisions. They shaped me into who I am today.
In the next couple months I'm going to continue to look inward.
Lets see what I can find.
More to come.
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2015
- Messages
- 430
Lotus,
I was going through my Model Mayhem stuff and ran across a model who lives in South Africa but visits Miami alot. Though you might want to contact her. http://www.modelmayhem.com/1450240. This is her Model mayhem page. If you can't get her info let me know. I used to do some retouch work so I have an account.
BDSC
I was going through my Model Mayhem stuff and ran across a model who lives in South Africa but visits Miami alot. Though you might want to contact her. http://www.modelmayhem.com/1450240. This is her Model mayhem page. If you can't get her info let me know. I used to do some retouch work so I have an account.
BDSC
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 473
Cool reflection Lotus!
I know what you mean about the influence of being around friends and family too much; being on your own largely away from all them I think, for myself, the transitions of having to do that were hard… but after like a week or two, and you’re living on your own and can selectively be around who you want for just the allocated time you want and not have to spend a second more with them is great. You can enjoy yourself get to know yourself better and enjoy what comes out of all that alone time (and spend time occasionally with other like-minded friend who you can bounce ideas off of and shoot the shit with a little bit). You get to control exactly who is influencing you and to what degree… at least to a much further degree than you would have been able to before.
Fuck the people who think you’re crazy haha; agree that it’s one of the biggest things a guy can do for their own growth and my theory is that any guy no matter how introverted or extroverted he might happen to be, eventually has to uproot and set off on his own and go on some sort of hero’s journey like this.
Cheers man, good luck and keep at it
-Rage
I know what you mean about the influence of being around friends and family too much; being on your own largely away from all them I think, for myself, the transitions of having to do that were hard… but after like a week or two, and you’re living on your own and can selectively be around who you want for just the allocated time you want and not have to spend a second more with them is great. You can enjoy yourself get to know yourself better and enjoy what comes out of all that alone time (and spend time occasionally with other like-minded friend who you can bounce ideas off of and shoot the shit with a little bit). You get to control exactly who is influencing you and to what degree… at least to a much further degree than you would have been able to before.
Fuck the people who think you’re crazy haha; agree that it’s one of the biggest things a guy can do for their own growth and my theory is that any guy no matter how introverted or extroverted he might happen to be, eventually has to uproot and set off on his own and go on some sort of hero’s journey like this.
Cheers man, good luck and keep at it
-Rage
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Rage said:
Yeah man I'm just finishing up week two and I already feel like the transition phase is past. I fucking love it now, after a busy week it's lovely to not have anyone to answer or talk to. Just peace and quiet. If i feel a need to socialize I'll go out and do it.
It's funny because one of my buddies from back home just brought this up yesterday wishing he could be in the same situation. A guy I never thought I would hear it from as well!
Now that I think about it, i bet the people who commented on me being crazy were just jealous haha.
Thanks for the comment
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Going against the grain
Hey Guys,
So this is another pretty big post not necessarily in length but in content.
Just to reference I'm running off my last journal entry. I used the same thought process to get here.
I'm not really sure the best way to get into this, and it might sound a little bit crazy.
Back in April when I was putting myself out there hardcore I was able to turn 2 girls into weekly fuck buddies. One fizzled out in June and the other has gradually increased in seriousness since July-ish. I have reference her before by the name Star Wars. My frame from the get-go has been pretty much perfect. I would have fucked her on the first date if her sister has not walked in on us. My leadership is extremely strong, I make the decisions and she submits to me all the time. The sex fantastic as well. The only night my frame has been compromised since April, she told me it made her like me more. It's a relationship that has grown and developed over 6 months(none of this is new information I just wanted put it all together).
I have since moved 5 states away for a job to go on my own path. After that knowing the end was approaching we hungout more and more. The last time we got together before my move she opened up about how hard it was going to be etc, etc. It knocked my socks off.... I mean I knew she cared more then she was letting on, but not that much.
We already had plans for her to visit because she was coming to Florida to see family. She was going to stop by on her way down to Miami to see a friend. That last night she also told me she canceled her plans to visit that friend to and was staying with me for the weekend( which is also her birthday)... hmmm
In the meantime we planned to stay in touch, talking on the phone was mentioned since we never texted but for logistics and a little flirting.
On the 16 hour drive down I had a lot of time for reflection. I had already completely accepted things were over which allowed me clarity. The neediness that was present
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=11304
in that post was/is gone.
We talked on the phone last Sunday and after about 20 minutes I broke relationship101 here, and said.
"Hey, this might sound crazy at first, but I think we can make this thing work. Me and you. We both like to travel and are career focused, independent people, stable people. I'm willing to give this thing a shot if you are, but I completely understand if you don't want to."
Immediately she responded
"I was thinking the same thing, we are both really independent and if anyone can make it work we can."
It's kind of funny that in 90% of the material here how you say something is more important than what you say... except for starting relationships. Bringing up a relationship with a girl is always her job. My initiating is chasing, even though it came in the most non-needy way possible? For now I don't agree.... unless someone can make me see something I'm missing. I'm completely content with how I played this as of now.
I'm a leader and she is a follower. Doesn't it make sense that continuing on this frame would have me lead the relationship forward?
On the other side of the coin. Is she someone that is worthy or a relationship with me? I think so, I trust her. Actually that's incorrect, I trust myself and my own value to keep her in line. I don't think I'm some amazing seducer/PU god, but I believe in myself as I have been formed by everything I have learned here. My value is better than 90% of men out there.
The more I learn about her the more I like her, so fuck it. If I'm wrong about everything I can live with that decision and pick myself up and get better, but I'm not going to run in fear of being hurt. I haven't become jaded by women, so I'm not going to make decisions as if I am. I'm going to learn on my own. At the end of the day if she is unworthy and makes poor decisions I'll go look for someone who is.
This will also allow me to focus more energy on improving my body and mind while advancing down my new career path.
Thanks for reading
Hey Guys,
So this is another pretty big post not necessarily in length but in content.
Just to reference I'm running off my last journal entry. I used the same thought process to get here.
I'm not really sure the best way to get into this, and it might sound a little bit crazy.
Back in April when I was putting myself out there hardcore I was able to turn 2 girls into weekly fuck buddies. One fizzled out in June and the other has gradually increased in seriousness since July-ish. I have reference her before by the name Star Wars. My frame from the get-go has been pretty much perfect. I would have fucked her on the first date if her sister has not walked in on us. My leadership is extremely strong, I make the decisions and she submits to me all the time. The sex fantastic as well. The only night my frame has been compromised since April, she told me it made her like me more. It's a relationship that has grown and developed over 6 months(none of this is new information I just wanted put it all together).
I have since moved 5 states away for a job to go on my own path. After that knowing the end was approaching we hungout more and more. The last time we got together before my move she opened up about how hard it was going to be etc, etc. It knocked my socks off.... I mean I knew she cared more then she was letting on, but not that much.
We already had plans for her to visit because she was coming to Florida to see family. She was going to stop by on her way down to Miami to see a friend. That last night she also told me she canceled her plans to visit that friend to and was staying with me for the weekend( which is also her birthday)... hmmm
In the meantime we planned to stay in touch, talking on the phone was mentioned since we never texted but for logistics and a little flirting.
On the 16 hour drive down I had a lot of time for reflection. I had already completely accepted things were over which allowed me clarity. The neediness that was present
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=11304
in that post was/is gone.
We talked on the phone last Sunday and after about 20 minutes I broke relationship101 here, and said.
"Hey, this might sound crazy at first, but I think we can make this thing work. Me and you. We both like to travel and are career focused, independent people, stable people. I'm willing to give this thing a shot if you are, but I completely understand if you don't want to."
Immediately she responded
"I was thinking the same thing, we are both really independent and if anyone can make it work we can."
It's kind of funny that in 90% of the material here how you say something is more important than what you say... except for starting relationships. Bringing up a relationship with a girl is always her job. My initiating is chasing, even though it came in the most non-needy way possible? For now I don't agree.... unless someone can make me see something I'm missing. I'm completely content with how I played this as of now.
I'm a leader and she is a follower. Doesn't it make sense that continuing on this frame would have me lead the relationship forward?
On the other side of the coin. Is she someone that is worthy or a relationship with me? I think so, I trust her. Actually that's incorrect, I trust myself and my own value to keep her in line. I don't think I'm some amazing seducer/PU god, but I believe in myself as I have been formed by everything I have learned here. My value is better than 90% of men out there.
The more I learn about her the more I like her, so fuck it. If I'm wrong about everything I can live with that decision and pick myself up and get better, but I'm not going to run in fear of being hurt. I haven't become jaded by women, so I'm not going to make decisions as if I am. I'm going to learn on my own. At the end of the day if she is unworthy and makes poor decisions I'll go look for someone who is.
This will also allow me to focus more energy on improving my body and mind while advancing down my new career path.
Thanks for reading
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Now that I am in a job where I interact with people face-to-face daily I'm going to focus on taking my fundamentals to another level. They are good but not always consistently really good unless I'm in-state, which takes focus. But where i really want to be with them is second nature with my fundamentals oozing out of my pores.
The main areas I want to focus on are vocal tonality, and slowing down my movement and speaking.
Vocal tonality- I use my bedroom voice pretty regularly, but when I am trying to project, it does tend to raise a couple pitches
Vocal speed- I don't talk fast but I don't use pregnant pauses nearly as much as I could be in everyday life. When I'm able to slow my vocal speed down my tonality gets deeper and vice versa.. so these two are together but separate at the same time.
Movement- Pretty straight forward here. My walk speed and swagger is good, but it's the combination movements where i just move and don't pause/hesitate before acting. IE- getting up out of a chair or my car. It's rushed.
The main areas I want to focus on are vocal tonality, and slowing down my movement and speaking.
Vocal tonality- I use my bedroom voice pretty regularly, but when I am trying to project, it does tend to raise a couple pitches
Vocal speed- I don't talk fast but I don't use pregnant pauses nearly as much as I could be in everyday life. When I'm able to slow my vocal speed down my tonality gets deeper and vice versa.. so these two are together but separate at the same time.
Movement- Pretty straight forward here. My walk speed and swagger is good, but it's the combination movements where i just move and don't pause/hesitate before acting. IE- getting up out of a chair or my car. It's rushed.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
I had this ridiculous idea that since I have spent so much time on improving my mental state that I would be able to avoid breakdowns completely once I reach a certain level. That's not the case.
It sounds silly writing that I believed it was even somewhat possible.
I like analogies so lets step into my office. I relate it to fitness and running specifically. When I was training for my senior soccer season in college I realized now matter how much you train you cannot sprint forever. Obviously. But what happens is you begin to recover from your sprints ridiculously fast relative to where you where. I got to a stage where I could do sprint ladders in the middle of 40 minute runs and 30 seconds to recover was more than enough. I went from unable to breath to sprinting again faster then I ever could(I also enjoy pushing my lungs beyond their limits).
My emotions and mental state is the same way because I have been training it so hard. The valleys have become shorter then they were just a couple months ago.
Another takeaway is if you stop training you will lose that fitness.
-Lotus
It sounds silly writing that I believed it was even somewhat possible.
I like analogies so lets step into my office. I relate it to fitness and running specifically. When I was training for my senior soccer season in college I realized now matter how much you train you cannot sprint forever. Obviously. But what happens is you begin to recover from your sprints ridiculously fast relative to where you where. I got to a stage where I could do sprint ladders in the middle of 40 minute runs and 30 seconds to recover was more than enough. I went from unable to breath to sprinting again faster then I ever could(I also enjoy pushing my lungs beyond their limits).
My emotions and mental state is the same way because I have been training it so hard. The valleys have become shorter then they were just a couple months ago.
Another takeaway is if you stop training you will lose that fitness.
-Lotus
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Complacency/Arrogance creeping in
Hey guys,
So I believe I have allowed some complacency and arrogance creep into me a tad in the past couple weeks and it's manifested itself in a couple different areas. I noticed it a week or so ago but it wasn't really until today that I noticed the truth to it. Need to nip it in the bud.
After the first couple weeks the move has been easier then expected.
I am beginning to feel too comfortable at my job which isn't good.
My newish relationship is going well and it is satisfying my current needs even with long distance, and my girl has been awesome. Chasing more then she has previously.
With meditation I have also gotten a decent handle on my emotions(at this moment).
These aren't all bad things but too much confidence without keeping the ego in check has led to a little complacency and arrogance.
Anyway it has brought me to a place where I want to find a keep to keep my confidence this high while maintaining a level head and not get carried away. Balance the two. Because I'm not naturally a extremely high confidence/ arrogant person. Not really a situation I'm used to.
I've also started reading "The secret teachings of all ages" as reccomended by Drexel. Pretty cool stuff so far
Hey guys,
So I believe I have allowed some complacency and arrogance creep into me a tad in the past couple weeks and it's manifested itself in a couple different areas. I noticed it a week or so ago but it wasn't really until today that I noticed the truth to it. Need to nip it in the bud.
After the first couple weeks the move has been easier then expected.
I am beginning to feel too comfortable at my job which isn't good.
My newish relationship is going well and it is satisfying my current needs even with long distance, and my girl has been awesome. Chasing more then she has previously.
With meditation I have also gotten a decent handle on my emotions(at this moment).
These aren't all bad things but too much confidence without keeping the ego in check has led to a little complacency and arrogance.
Anyway it has brought me to a place where I want to find a keep to keep my confidence this high while maintaining a level head and not get carried away. Balance the two. Because I'm not naturally a extremely high confidence/ arrogant person. Not really a situation I'm used to.
I've also started reading "The secret teachings of all ages" as reccomended by Drexel. Pretty cool stuff so far
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
career/personal development
Shewwww it's been a while..... I actually wrote up a solid post a month ago and then it got deleted so I said fuck it, but anyway this is well overdue.
I'm rolling this out in two parts because I need 1 entry on my career/personal development and the other on the GF adventures. It's all good stuff I'm happy with the progress I have made on both fronts.
Career wise I love my job down here in Florida and I love living alone. Even though money is substantially tighter on my own I have much more freedom to grow. Roommates are a distraction that I enjoy doing without.
I'm not sure where to start to ill start at the present. Right now my department has a vacancy in the branch manager position. There was another branch that had to fire a guy and my former boss moved down there because it is substantially larger. At first, I thought fuck. This isn't going to be good I won't have him as a mentor anymore to grow as fast a possible. Turns out I have forced myself to grow faster. Without a strong leader i have begun to step up my role and actually applied for his position. Now remember I haven't even worked here 5 months, so initially I thought it would be crazy to apply. Turns out the guy I thought was a front runner and a gimme has absolutley failed as a leader. He knows way more imformation about the company and the job... well not way more since I'm quickly catching up, but I have leadership experience already and lets be honest most people can't compete with the self development we produce here so pretty soon I believe i will surpass him in knowledge. During the week I eat and sleep trying to improve my shop. I just have to make sure I show this to my superiors.
My first review was "above average" and "better then expected" for a new employee but not exactly as good as I had hoped. I've been trying to read a couple pages of 7 habits of highly effective people which has helped my work brain. I go into work already focused and on task. Regularly I get 8+ hours of sleep which has kept me pretty sharp as well.
The coolest thing i have run into in the book so far has been the Important vs. urgent chart which focuses on prioritizing your activities based on importance. I'm planning on using the chart in my interview as a way to increase our effectiveness. We are currently understaffed so we need to do MORE with LESS to get the same results.
I've also networked with my long term sales rep who is absolutely killing it making 150k a year, I decided this is the path I want to end up in so I have started following up on leads and doing call backs to generate sales. In the beginning of January I provided him with a lead that netted him 3 new lease trucks and 75K in new sales, as a result of the lead he took me on the proposal meeting. If I want to end up in his position I need to start getting experience that puts me in favor within the company as early as possible.
Last week I got him another new lead for 8-10 trucks, and I'm hoping I'll get to come to that meeting as well.
My social circle is almost non-existent and i plan to keep it that way avoid distractions. The only people I'm in contact with is my buddy from craigslist.... not sure if I told that story or not, and my soccer team buddies who I only see when I go play.
-We also just won our futsol league.... BOOM! and get free entry next season.
The only place I have really lacked progress is in my body. I regularly take 4-5k steps a day and travel 3-4 miles on my feet each day. I play soccer 2-3 times a week as well so I have been able to maintain my lean body type without putting on any weight.... I want to get a better workout routine but I can only focus my energy on so many different fronts at a time, and my girlfriend absolutely digs my body and said it would be less attractive if I got "jacked". Not that I have ever wanted to. My goal has always been super cut.
Lastly I decided to buy a apple watch. I spent a couple weeks mulling this one over because I wanted to track my cardio and steps and overall fitness, but I couldn't justify spending the money. Then I listened to an art of charm podcast on focus and how because of social media and our phones people get distracted and have such poor focus that if you can find a way to train your focus you will be leagues above everyone else.
I had deleted my social media off of my phone months ago but in the end it didn't result in massive change because I would still distract myself by checking GC during the day, which is better, but still destroys my focus. Checking texts would even lead me to get distracted and search other nonsense. Now that I have my watch I can stay connected where I need to be(I have drivers that move trucks at work that call via cell phones) but it doesn't have the capabilities to go on GC or FB or IG at all. I check my steps, gets important text and phone calls right on my wrist so I can continue with my day while still maintaining the connection I need to excel in my industry.
It has been worth every penny and will be an investment that pays dividends in the long run for my career
-Lotus
Shewwww it's been a while..... I actually wrote up a solid post a month ago and then it got deleted so I said fuck it, but anyway this is well overdue.
I'm rolling this out in two parts because I need 1 entry on my career/personal development and the other on the GF adventures. It's all good stuff I'm happy with the progress I have made on both fronts.
Career wise I love my job down here in Florida and I love living alone. Even though money is substantially tighter on my own I have much more freedom to grow. Roommates are a distraction that I enjoy doing without.
I'm not sure where to start to ill start at the present. Right now my department has a vacancy in the branch manager position. There was another branch that had to fire a guy and my former boss moved down there because it is substantially larger. At first, I thought fuck. This isn't going to be good I won't have him as a mentor anymore to grow as fast a possible. Turns out I have forced myself to grow faster. Without a strong leader i have begun to step up my role and actually applied for his position. Now remember I haven't even worked here 5 months, so initially I thought it would be crazy to apply. Turns out the guy I thought was a front runner and a gimme has absolutley failed as a leader. He knows way more imformation about the company and the job... well not way more since I'm quickly catching up, but I have leadership experience already and lets be honest most people can't compete with the self development we produce here so pretty soon I believe i will surpass him in knowledge. During the week I eat and sleep trying to improve my shop. I just have to make sure I show this to my superiors.
My first review was "above average" and "better then expected" for a new employee but not exactly as good as I had hoped. I've been trying to read a couple pages of 7 habits of highly effective people which has helped my work brain. I go into work already focused and on task. Regularly I get 8+ hours of sleep which has kept me pretty sharp as well.
The coolest thing i have run into in the book so far has been the Important vs. urgent chart which focuses on prioritizing your activities based on importance. I'm planning on using the chart in my interview as a way to increase our effectiveness. We are currently understaffed so we need to do MORE with LESS to get the same results.
I've also networked with my long term sales rep who is absolutely killing it making 150k a year, I decided this is the path I want to end up in so I have started following up on leads and doing call backs to generate sales. In the beginning of January I provided him with a lead that netted him 3 new lease trucks and 75K in new sales, as a result of the lead he took me on the proposal meeting. If I want to end up in his position I need to start getting experience that puts me in favor within the company as early as possible.
Last week I got him another new lead for 8-10 trucks, and I'm hoping I'll get to come to that meeting as well.
My social circle is almost non-existent and i plan to keep it that way avoid distractions. The only people I'm in contact with is my buddy from craigslist.... not sure if I told that story or not, and my soccer team buddies who I only see when I go play.
-We also just won our futsol league.... BOOM! and get free entry next season.
The only place I have really lacked progress is in my body. I regularly take 4-5k steps a day and travel 3-4 miles on my feet each day. I play soccer 2-3 times a week as well so I have been able to maintain my lean body type without putting on any weight.... I want to get a better workout routine but I can only focus my energy on so many different fronts at a time, and my girlfriend absolutely digs my body and said it would be less attractive if I got "jacked". Not that I have ever wanted to. My goal has always been super cut.
Lastly I decided to buy a apple watch. I spent a couple weeks mulling this one over because I wanted to track my cardio and steps and overall fitness, but I couldn't justify spending the money. Then I listened to an art of charm podcast on focus and how because of social media and our phones people get distracted and have such poor focus that if you can find a way to train your focus you will be leagues above everyone else.
I had deleted my social media off of my phone months ago but in the end it didn't result in massive change because I would still distract myself by checking GC during the day, which is better, but still destroys my focus. Checking texts would even lead me to get distracted and search other nonsense. Now that I have my watch I can stay connected where I need to be(I have drivers that move trucks at work that call via cell phones) but it doesn't have the capabilities to go on GC or FB or IG at all. I check my steps, gets important text and phone calls right on my wrist so I can continue with my day while still maintaining the connection I need to excel in my industry.
It has been worth every penny and will be an investment that pays dividends in the long run for my career
-Lotus
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
Okay, Part 2, updating on my relationship
It's really interesting how this has played out so far, more evidence that women are like water. When we first started talking the images we portrayed on each other was fun, casual, like to fuck, no emotions. She mirrored the qualities she thought I wanted in her and portrayed them perfectly. For the first 5ish months we knew each other that's how it rolled. Now that image is gone, she shows herself to me as a good little girl and has been an extremely reliable GF. She stopped highlighting the wild girl stuff because I stopped wanting it and has now mirrored the stuff I want. She pretty much never goes out anymore.
-she says she was already chilling back on the partying before she met me but who knows how true that really is.
Either way I have noticed a change in the 11 months I have known her and she routinely turns down going out when invited now. This is the first time I have witnessed the "women are like water" firsthand and it's remarkable.
There's a lot running through my head right now on the dynamic so forgive me if my writings are choppy, but it's a journal so fuck it.
The aspect I have been spending most of my time focusing on is the balance between not enough security and too much security. She's been looking for more, but I don't really understand why. I don't party anymore and I have no interest in other girls (which I don't fully understand) but I guess the path I'm on my value continues to increase and she see that, so these are her attempts to lock me down before I out grow her? Although she kills it herself as far as I'm concerned. Anyway trying to understand the security dynamic withing the relationship it doesn't feel like I can possibly give her too much right now. Not that I'm planning on giving her what she wants. Just an observation. Maybe it's the long distance as well, and she feels they she never truly "has me" from this far away, which is true now that I think about it.
"If he can move and leave all his friends and family being on a whim just to show he can do it, he can leave me at any moments notice as well."
I'm really curious about why I still have no interest in other girls. I don't feel the need to go out and get numbers or anything of the sort. Maybe I have successfully incorporated all the validation I need in my lifestyle thus removing the need find other girls to tell me I'm attractive. Pre-GC that's what happened. I wanted to test the waters and see my value so I began to make out with other girls and test the boundaries of my morals withing the relationship to feel good about myself. Although I mostly felt like shit after haha. Or after reading some of the stuff Hector's been posting I have a deep lying insecurity I have yet to find that I'm hiding by not meeting other new girls. I'm not sure what that would be though.
I mean, I definitely have a fat crush on this girl there is no doubt about that, but it doesn't feel needy. The only time neediness ever kicks in is when I've drank enough that my emotional brain overpowers my logical brain. Other times I can quickly laugh off my insecurities in the form of affirmations that I'll just go out and meet some new chicks. Both times I went out in west palm I had success, and I regular generate attraction just by being social and flirty in my day to day, but it all feels so smug and delusion-ed. I don't know......
-Lotus
It's really interesting how this has played out so far, more evidence that women are like water. When we first started talking the images we portrayed on each other was fun, casual, like to fuck, no emotions. She mirrored the qualities she thought I wanted in her and portrayed them perfectly. For the first 5ish months we knew each other that's how it rolled. Now that image is gone, she shows herself to me as a good little girl and has been an extremely reliable GF. She stopped highlighting the wild girl stuff because I stopped wanting it and has now mirrored the stuff I want. She pretty much never goes out anymore.
-she says she was already chilling back on the partying before she met me but who knows how true that really is.
Either way I have noticed a change in the 11 months I have known her and she routinely turns down going out when invited now. This is the first time I have witnessed the "women are like water" firsthand and it's remarkable.
There's a lot running through my head right now on the dynamic so forgive me if my writings are choppy, but it's a journal so fuck it.
The aspect I have been spending most of my time focusing on is the balance between not enough security and too much security. She's been looking for more, but I don't really understand why. I don't party anymore and I have no interest in other girls (which I don't fully understand) but I guess the path I'm on my value continues to increase and she see that, so these are her attempts to lock me down before I out grow her? Although she kills it herself as far as I'm concerned. Anyway trying to understand the security dynamic withing the relationship it doesn't feel like I can possibly give her too much right now. Not that I'm planning on giving her what she wants. Just an observation. Maybe it's the long distance as well, and she feels they she never truly "has me" from this far away, which is true now that I think about it.
"If he can move and leave all his friends and family being on a whim just to show he can do it, he can leave me at any moments notice as well."
I'm really curious about why I still have no interest in other girls. I don't feel the need to go out and get numbers or anything of the sort. Maybe I have successfully incorporated all the validation I need in my lifestyle thus removing the need find other girls to tell me I'm attractive. Pre-GC that's what happened. I wanted to test the waters and see my value so I began to make out with other girls and test the boundaries of my morals withing the relationship to feel good about myself. Although I mostly felt like shit after haha. Or after reading some of the stuff Hector's been posting I have a deep lying insecurity I have yet to find that I'm hiding by not meeting other new girls. I'm not sure what that would be though.
I mean, I definitely have a fat crush on this girl there is no doubt about that, but it doesn't feel needy. The only time neediness ever kicks in is when I've drank enough that my emotional brain overpowers my logical brain. Other times I can quickly laugh off my insecurities in the form of affirmations that I'll just go out and meet some new chicks. Both times I went out in west palm I had success, and I regular generate attraction just by being social and flirty in my day to day, but it all feels so smug and delusion-ed. I don't know......
-Lotus
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2014
- Messages
- 624
A lot has happened since I last reported in. It's definitely been too long, but it got easier and easier to not update as time went on, especially after I wrote a really long post and lost it.
The main reason was not my relationship but my career. I won the Branch Manager position and my focus shifted to devoting 80% of my time to it. It's been crazy and crazy hard to balance work and life. Well worth it though. The career capital I have gain in the past 8 months has been unreal. Life experience as well.
To quickly summarize.... I quit my job, moved across the country MD-> FL, started dating a girl long distance, got promoted twice, now run the location at this new job, Started from scratch on my social circles, now have multiple social circles. All in a year. Now I'm at 1 year and 3 months.
It's been unreal for me....I grew so much in such a short time that I now feel like I'm not growing enough at this current moment.
But I am, it's just relative. I need to remember that.
The main reason was not my relationship but my career. I won the Branch Manager position and my focus shifted to devoting 80% of my time to it. It's been crazy and crazy hard to balance work and life. Well worth it though. The career capital I have gain in the past 8 months has been unreal. Life experience as well.
To quickly summarize.... I quit my job, moved across the country MD-> FL, started dating a girl long distance, got promoted twice, now run the location at this new job, Started from scratch on my social circles, now have multiple social circles. All in a year. Now I'm at 1 year and 3 months.
It's been unreal for me....I grew so much in such a short time that I now feel like I'm not growing enough at this current moment.
But I am, it's just relative. I need to remember that.